Hijacking Valentine's Day

We’re bearing down on V Day… ValenDATE or ValenDOOM. Most people are divided into one of two camps, some approaching the Hallmark Holiday with starry-eyed optimism and dozens of rose-tinted chances to experience the magic, others dreading the overinflated expectations and equally overinflated greeting card prices, resigning themselves to a day of loneliness or disappointment.

As a hopeless romantic, romance writer, extremely happily married gal, and general love bug, it may burst your love-bubble to know that Valentine’s Day is not exactly my bag. In fact, in my dating years I used to refer to it as Valendoom’s Day for the epically disastrous and disappointing outcomes the day always seem to bring as opposed to flowers (that die), chocolates (moment on the lips, forever on the hips, and still no, I'm not going halfsies--my present), and little blue boxes (keep on dreamin’, sugar).

In my married years Valendoom’s day has simply become Valendate night. Essentially, it’s an excuse to enlist a sitter and have a-slightly-less-casual dinner date with my hunk of burning love. It’s never been a drastically romantic, sweep-me-off-my-feet affair. It’s a lovely dinner. Eight years of marriage and I still enjoy dating my man. But the hype of the day itself can often make a perfectly nice meal seem a bit less …special.

That’s not to say that my husband got it all wrong, but he didn’t exactly spend a month and a small fortune planning some Hollywood-staged princess moment. When you write romance it can be hard to remember that our men’s words and actions aren’t scripted by a woman who knows exactly what would make her feel extravagantly loved for a day, if not a lifetime. Real life is messy, not always charming, and definitely not story-book perfect. But it’s even better because you get to live it, sink into the role you were born to play and ride out every high and low, bump and bliss.

Now, I still believe men should put in the effort for their sweetheart and really swing for the fences from time to time. Just because you’ve locked that down doesn’t mean you stop wooing your lady, got me?

But this year I decided to give my husband a year off. A break from the often unfair expectations and last minute scramble to appease my overly-romantic nature. I’ve hijacked Valentine’s Day, took over the plans (swanky dinner and dancing reservations at a unique venue), the gift exchange (new wallet for hubs, new purse for me—personally I think I got the better end of that deal!), and a special surprise for later (my lips are sealed <3). I’ve got to admit, I’m pretty stinkin’ excited about this. Probably more excited than the past few years of guarding my expectations, just in case.

Moral of the story, ladies: Sometimes, if you want romance, you have to bring it. Hijack those plans and make your man swoon for a change. ;) And men, be real and open. Say the things you might normally forget to mention about her dress and how much you appreciate her. Take a page out of a romance novel from time to time. (You're man enough to read one!) But know, without a doubt, it really is the thought that counts. You put your heart behind a gesture and you can’t lose.

Talk to me: What are your plans for V day? Do you have a tradition? And what side are you on… ValenDATE or ValenDOOM?

Love and Chocolate,

(and kisses... I never forget those)  ;)

<3 Amy

BONDED: Why Romance isn’t Dead….

 

Valentine’s Day is almost here. Big whoop! Sorry to burst your love bubble. I’ll be the first to admit that this is not my favorite holiday. Gasp! Blasphemy!!! The romance writer is Anti-Valentine’s Day? Not exactly. From where I sit I see a lot of expectation that doesn’t usually live up to the hype. A lot of broken hearts. A lot of unrealistic romantic ideals that crash and burn. And I’m not just saying that for me personally. I am loved by a wonderful, kind, God-fearing, gorgeous, more-delicious-than-chocolate man and have been for about a decade… and yet I still have a rather tempestuous relationship with Valentine’s Day.

This year is particularly disturbing because… well… when we’re hoping to see flowers and sweet things for your sweet thang, heartfelt words and shiny gifts, affection and fidelity, we are seeing something much darker. The polar opposite. In fact, the dark shadow that is polluting everywhere from local schools to your pharmacy, your nail salon to your movie theatre is a certain blockbuster sized shadow of abuse and manipulation masquerading as a love story. And this is anything but harmless entertainment.

Now, this is not a post about 50 Shades, though Lord knows there are a heck of a lot more than 50 things I have to say on the subject. Don’t get me started.  

It’d be easy to say, with the disillusioning of our society and the rise of things like BDSM and “Rape Culture” that romance in its traditional definition is a thing of the past. But let me tell you why real romance never goes out of style. It’s because innately we are all looking for connection and quite simply…

Romance bonds us.

Poor choice of words? Oops! My bad. I’m not talking bound and gagged and beaten. Yeah, doesn’t sound very romantic, huh? I digress.

Where was I? Oh yes, the bonds of Love. ;)

When we read romance we remember or we dream of that bond that might start as fascination, friendship, yearning, and then becomes something more. We are brought back to those beautiful, blissful, terrifying moments of falling. We identify with the characters. We sympathize with their journey. Their plight. We step outside ourselves and form a kinship with another. We bond. (THIS RIGHT HERE IS WHY WE NEED TO BE CAREFUL WHAT WE READ!)

And fiction aside, real-life romance bonds us to our other half. It’s what separates friends from lovers. I don’t long to be bonded to myself. I long to spend the years of my marriage finding ways to be bonded more intricately with my husband. YES, we’re already married, so he’s basically already won me over. He put a ring on it. Done deal. But folks, romance doesn’t end there. And if it has YOU AND YOUR HONEY need to work on learning each other all over again. It’s not too late. Start now. Start with romance.

Romance isn’t just for women, people. It’s like glue with muscles that keep strengthening the bonds, drawing them ever closer, holding them tight when storms threaten to tear them apart. Romance nurtures all these interconnected threads in a relationship. Romantic words, actions, and intimacies expose the inner workings of our hearts. They bolster and show value. And when we’ve stripped away all pretense, showing our barest need, when we’ve become our most vulnerable selves, it’s that shared romantic connection that helps establish and re-establish trust. Simply put, romance keeps us in tune with each other.

THIS is what I LOVE about writing romance. It reminds me that I don’t just want to be on the receiving end, but that it is my duty and my privilege as a wife to GIVE romance to my husband. I get to be the closest friend AND the lover. I get to give support and be supported. I can be schmaltzy and encouraging, and even wild and kinky if I wanted to. (A bunch of you just slammed on the brakes right there---Deep breaths. This post is rated PG-13.)

ROMANCE ISN’T DEAD because it’s not between you and everyone else in that theater. Not between you and your friends. Or even your family. It’s not between you and anyone or anything else but your spouse. ROMANCE IS PERSONAL. God designed it to bond TWO people in the most intimate of ways. Physically, spiritually, emotionally. And because we will always desire real connection even more than trendy books or trendy sex, I think it’s safe to say romance will survive this blip.

So… since the greatest, most timeless love story ever written is about the ONE who loves you so much he gave his life, the ONE who chases after your heart and romances you unceasingly, on this bleakest of Valentine’s Days—one that would probably make Saint Valentine roll over in his grave—I, Amy Leigh Simpson, declare ROMANCE LIVES!

Go forth, write, live. Get your romance on! Valentine’s Day and every day. <3

Let's tell some stories... Do you remember your most romantic Valentine's Day? What made it so special?

 

Amy Leigh Simpson is the completely exhausted stay-at-home mama to the two wild-child, tow-headed toddler boys, one pretty little princess baby, and the incredibly blessed wife of her hunky hubby.

She writes Romantic Suspense chalked full of grace that is equally inspiring, nail-biting, and hilarious. And a little saucy! Okay fine, a lot saucy. :) She is an active member of American Christian Fiction Writers, and now uses her Sports Medicine degree to patch up daily boo-boos. Her greatest ambitions are to create stories that inspire hope, raise up her children to be mighty warriors for Christ, invent an all-dessert diet that works, and make up for years of sleep deprivation. 

She is represented by Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary, Inc.

 

Don't forget the HEART of your story!

It's heart month!

I LOVE February!

I LOVE love!

I LOVE hearts!

My love of this month quadrupled upon the birth of my daughter, Annabelle, who was born with only half of her heart in 2010. In 2011, we spent heart month in the hospital, praying for a NEW heart. In 2012, it in the hospital ER with RSV and being diagnosed with failure to thrive. In 2013.... well, we spent it at home, eating WAY too much chocolate as a way to celebrate her FIRST Valentine's day at home!

Through the last few years, I've learned something pretty big in my writing.

And it's about hearts too. (and no, not just because I write romance!)

It's the the value of WRITING FROM THE HEART!

The heart is the seat of our emotions in our culture today. (Wasn't it the bowels in Bible days or something??? SO SO thankful we use the heart...)

So when we say, "write from the heart" it means that we are digging deep in our souls and splattering that on the pages. In order for us to evoke strong emotion in our readers, we need to pull from strong emotions as we write.

A tepid book is just not very fun to read.

That emotion will vary upon the author, upon the genre, and upon the plot.

The emotion can be fear, happiness, sadness, joy, passion, anger, anxiety, uncertainty, the list goes on and on.

A GOOD book will hit several of these emotions. YOU as an author should experience several of these while you write!

Writing, good writing, is a soul-seeking, bloody process. Even though I write funny romance, I still have to dig deep in me, in my experiences, and put my heart on the pages. Some of the reviews of my first novel reflect that... such as this endorsement from one of my FAVORITE authors.

"Don’t let the light-hearted cover and title fool you. Krista Phillips’ spunky, rough-around-the-edges heroine may be “tickle me” funny, but her faith journey offers more than a cute read. There is depth here, made all the more satisfying served up with a generous side of romance." - Tamara Leigh, author of Restless in Carolina and Dreamspell

Use your life experiences, the emotions and deep feelings you've had, when you write. You don't have to "write" your experiences, but you write to evoke emotions. That emotion will be vastly different depending on what genre you write and your voice. But it should still be there.

Annabelle's first valentine's day...
my blue baby decked out in her red!
(And yes, we DID bring her swing to the hospital ICU for her!

The last few years have been difficult, I'll admit. My family has gone through more than I'd ever wish on anyone. Congenital heart defects are awful, and they kill. (Did you know heart defects kill more children a year than all childhood cancers combined??) Seeing your child laying in a crib, their heart beating in an open chest, is life-changing.

My hope is that God can use the things I felt, the things I LEARNED, helps someone else when they read my books.

My books aren't about "heart" defects.

But they are definitely about the heart.

Discussion: What life experiences have you had that shape how you write? How do you show your emotions on the page?

(Note: this is a slightly adapted/updated repost~~ so if it seems familiar, that's why! But I thought it an important reminder and a great time of the year to post it!)

Three Loves Now Gone With the Wind

Valentine's Week

What better time to talk about love and the skillful pen splashing heart-throbbing, romantic scenes across the page?


Today we'll peek at Margaret Mitchell's award winning characters: Scarlett O'hara, Rhett Butler, and the beloved Ashley from her novel, Gone with the Wind. 

We'll see how romance does not come in a one size fits all category yet still can thrill the reader.

Scarlett loved Ashley

Mitchell wove Scarlett's love for Ashley throughout her book. Scarlett could have had the love from any man in her town. Her seventeen inch waist accented a beauty unmatched by any other girl and her spirited personality enticed every male to become the victor in marriage. When she discovered Ashley had proposed to Melanie, Scarlett's raging jealousy flared. "Oh Ashley I love you. Tell me you love me." Would Ashley leave Melanie for Scarlett? We wonder and perhaps hope to the very last scene.

Ashley loved Scarlett but married Melanie

It doesn't take long to realize Ashley's "love" for Scarlett is lust. His honor forces him to remain true to Melanie, yet he finds himself alone with Scarlett  and caught in her lustful snare several times. Mitchell didn't need intimate bedroom scenes to paint a driving love scene. The characters drove the point with passionate conversations.

Rhett Butler loved Scarlett
Despite Rhett's shady past, he found himself genuinely in love with Scarlett. "You need kissing badly." He determined to take care of her since no one else could. Rhett coped with Scarlett's lack of love for him, but he wouldn't accept her constant desire for Ashley.  



In the end...

Scarlett discovers her love for Rhett 
Scarlett sobs as Rhett tells her he is leaving. She gazes at his determined face and begs for him to stay. "I only know that I love you." Scarlett follows him to the door. "Rhett, Rhett. Where shall I go? What shall I do?" As Rhett walks away Scarlett sobs, "I can't let him go. There must be some way to bring him back." Will she?

Mitchell painted love with different colors drawing readers into the harsh realities found in American history. Now that's a history lesson!


Are you painting love with different colors in your writings?  


This discussion makes me think of God's love for us.  His love is genuine, never wavering, always true. 

Romantic love is thrilling to read 

and hopefully experience; 

God's love is a blessing to receive

It will never leave.

What's Up the Street For Next Week?

Today is a day to celebrate:

Chocolate!

And romantic songs! or this song.

And flowers!

All in honor of Love. True Love.

What happens after love? Well, check out this clip for an answer (and remember, the author of this post is a Christian so you're mostly safe) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sbqv3MwwVd8

Well, are you ready?!? For the next TWO weeks, The Alley Cats are celebrating the season of love, and what a GREAT TIME we have planned for you!

Romance and fiction are in the air. A fantastic combination.

Shall we set the dates?

Monday – Pepper starts off the week with a post called Heroes: Mind, Body, and Soul.

Tuesday – First Glances of Love with Sherrinda. Check out some great scenes where two people ‘see’ their destined love for the first time…in a different light.

Wednesday –  Mary brings us Three Loves Now Gone With the Wind- Guess what her featured book is? ;-)

Don’t miss Casey’s post this Thursday called: “The Perfect Proposal Plan”. With tips from authors such as Janet Dean, Denise Hunter, Lorna Seilstad, it’s going to have the ring of romance.

As usual, Krista brings her humor and romantic twists to end this first week of romance from The Writers Alley.

NEWSTAND

Oh what GREAT news!!! Our very own Casey Herringshaw is going to be a STAR!! How, you ask? She won Julie Lessman’s review contest and now… Julie’s going to write Casey into a book. And a cuter character, Julie could NOT find!! Seriously. Look at this adorable lady. TOTALLY romance material! Go, Julie GO!

To learn more about Julie’s books go here.

Julia hosts Jody Hedlund on her blog. Join her for a chocolate giveaway at http://darkglassponderings.blogspot.com/

Pepper continues her blog series, Love At First Thought, with special guests Julie Lessman, Deb Raney, and Missy Tippens. Stop by Words Seasoned with Salt to learn more.

Wishes for a wonderful Valentine's Day - from our alley to yours.