Where is YOUR focus?

God's been dealing with me a lot lately on the issue of self-confidence.

After wrestling with Him about it for a few weeks, I posted a deeply personal blog on my own site that talked about my struggle from an early age with self-image and confidence issues.

My struggle, which I think many of us have to varying degrees, has a ripple effect over to my writing.

Am I good enough?
Does my writing really stink and everyone is just lying to me so I don't feel bad?
Will people like my book?
What if I don't sell enough? Does that make me a failure?
OHMAGOODNESS what if people write horrible reviews and HATE it?

And in another super honest confession... part of me feared greatly that people would "buy" my book, or "pretend" to like it only because I'd just gone through a terrible ordeal with my daughter's health that I dealt with very publicly, that it'd be for pity only.

Stupid, huh.

When we write a book, it's different than other "business" deals. Our writing is very personal and comes from a place deep inside us. Or at least, it is that way for me. So putting it out there for rejection or acceptance is a scary thing.

But BOTTOM LINE:

IT'S NOT ABOUT US!!

YES, some people will hate our books and trash them on Goodreads.
YES, some people will hate our books and trash them on blogs.
YES, our sales might totally flop and make us look completely inept.

All those things are totally possible (and honestly, probable.)

But God has a purpose for ALL things. And for me, my #1 purpose for my LIFE is to glorify Jesus. Everything else, my marriage, my writing, my children, my job, all falls under that. I want everything I do to be with the motive of glorifying the God who made me.

And that includes my writing.

I need to stop stressing about sales and start focusing on story. God gave me stories to tell, and EFFECTIVE marketing will happen when I focus not on "how many books can I sell" but on "How can I get my book into the hands of those God wants it to be in."

See that focus shift?

It's an important one.

One I feel like I failed MISERABLY with in my first go-around at this whole publishing thing.

I'm a numbers girl. It's how my mind works. But maybe I can start thinking about "number of lives touched" vs. "number of books sold" hmm?

And then there is that darn Amazon ranking I was addicted to for the first six months... I kinda just wish they'd take it away so I would stop obsessing over it!

Bottom line: Our writing isn't about us. To have a truly fulfilling publishing experience, I highly suggest you turn your eyes toward Jesus. Follow HIM, not the just trends. Follow HIM, not just the numbers.

Discussion: Am I the only one that struggles with self-confidence issues over books?? If you've got a grip on it, share some of your secrets!!

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Krista is a follower of Jesus, a wife, a mother, and author of Sandwich, With a Side of Romance. She blogs about finding JOY in the journey of LIFE at http://www.kristaphillips.com. She is represented by the fab agent, Rachelle Gardner.

YOU HAVE TO BLOG! (or do you?)

My Blogging Story

When I started on my writing journey, blogs were this fantastic up and coming "thing". If you wanted to be IN this whole writing thing... OF COURSE you had to blog. ALL agents and editors look at that. For fiction authors, it was the ONLY way to get a platform/following if you will.

So... I cracked my knuckles and started a blog.

And rejoiced at my 5 hits a day. I mean... come on. Those were FIVE PEOPLE who were reading what I wrote!

Eventually it grew to about 20 a day, give or take, and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

I blogged about writing and about parenthood and The Bachelor and kissing and romance and a variety of stuff.

I started avidly following other blogs and commenting, spending WAY too much of my day doing so (time that really should have been spent writing...), to try and drum up a few more followers on my blog.

And... it worked. A little. I think I had about 30-40 hits a day by that time.

Then this very sad thing happened. We found out that the sweet little baby I was carrying... baby #5 for us (including sweet Abigail who went to be with Jesus super early) had a heart defect. Only half of her heart was formed.

So she took over my blog. Blogging came much less about numbers and much more about sharing my heart as we went through the journey. Writing my raw feelings and having to express in writing what was going on was therapeutic for me. I NEEDED it.

Then sweet Annabelle was born. And my blog became a way to let people know how she was doing and how to pray for us.

Needless to say, my numbers increased, but at that point, I didn't care nearly so much. I wanted my baby to live. That was all I cared about. And on many days, that looked very questionable.

My numbers REALLY increased when fellow heart-parent, Matt Hammitt (lead singer of the Christian Band Sanctus Real) linked to my blog from his blog devoted to his and Sarah's sweet son, Bowen.

I had over 3000 hits that day.

The number didn't hit me so much in blog terms... (okay, maybe a little...) but the knowledge that 3000 people read Annabelle's story and were actively praying for her that day... during a time that was very touch-and-go.... was humbling and amazing.

Over the next year or so, my numbers stayed humbling high--high for ME that is. Like 15k visits a month, give or take.

Eventually, after 308 days in the hospital, 4 open heart surgery's later including a heart transplant at 8 months of age, Annabelle came home for the first time. And after some bad turns, she finally started to improve.

And with her improvement, my numbers dropped to a much more "normal" range. Yet they remain much higher than previously.

Lately, I'm trying to find a semblance of normal in this new life I've been given. I dropped from 3 to 4 times a week blogging to 2... or 1 on really crazy weeks. And I'm trying to focus my time more on my family than my blog. Balance is key. Yet I'm still invested in making it work. I still LOVE to blog and love to share my heart with people.

Blogging Lessons I've learned

1.) Blogging with the sole purpose of building a platform for a writer is not a great idea. It doesn't work. Your MOTIVATION is not where it should be. It's like writing a book just to make money. Chances are you'll be disappointed on both counts.

2.) A SUCCESSFUL blog has a purpose. A need to fill. And that NEED is what your motivation needs to stem from. Some people, like us Alleycats, blog to encourage other writers. Our heart is connect with writers and be able to foster an environment where we can learn from each other. Others have a niche they love... crafts or coupons or DIY projects or birds or a time period in history or politics or poetry.... There is a long list of potential purposes.

3.) BE UNIQUE. There are a TON of writer's blogs out there. 5 years ago when I started... there was a decent number, but it has EXPLODED since then. Everyone heard the "edict" like I did... and started a writers blog. Because that's our specialty, right? Writing? If you are going to start a blog for writers, you have to find a niche... a need that no one else is meeting (or that you can meet better.) If you don't... it's a waste of time. If you are going to do a craft blog... there are a TON of others out there. How is yours different? How can yours be unique?

4.) IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU! Oh, this one is hard for me. Because I am SO SO SO guilty of this on my blog. My goal on my own blog though, is to help women learn to find "joy" in the journey of life by sharing my own experiences, my own struggles. I try to be as honest as I'm allowed to be online, and show the VALUE in finding JOY. But... I know I tend to be "my family" centered too much. The "masses" don't always want to hear about YOU... unless you are a celebrity, of course:-) Write something for THEM.

5.) YOU DON'T HAVE TO! Honestly? I feel like the fad of blogging... as a whole... is wearing off a bit. Maybe this is just me who feels this way. I have no numbers to back me up. I still believe in blogging though. I love mine, and I LOVE The Writer's Alley of course, but I find more people connecting on Facebook and Twitter and limiting their blog reading time than before. Did you know The Writer's Alley has a Facebook page??? Yup, we did that JUST for you all! We all stalk it at various times throughout the day, so if you ever want to connect more real time with us, or just want to chat, COME SEE US!!

The deal is... if you don't have a blogging purpose... if you don't have a unique angle... if you have no desire to put the time, effort, and (if you wanna make it look super good) money into it... your time might be BETTER spent building your platform elsewhere.

But if you just want to blog for YOU... to have a fun outlet to get your thoughts out... with no care about who reads it or if anyone reads it... then go for it. Just make sure you manage your expectations and know your goal.

6.) If you know a famous person with a ton of followers who will link to your blog... buy them chocolate or something. (just... mostly... kidding!)

Discussion: Do you have a blog? If so, what's your purpose? Or are you thinking about blogging at some point and just haven't found your sweet spot? Any blogging questions?? Let's chat blogging!

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Krista is a follower of Jesus, a wife, a mother, and author of Sandwich, With a Side of Romance. She blogs about finding JOY in the journey of LIFE at http://www.kristaphillips.com. She is represented by the fab agent, Rachelle Gardner.

Don't forget the HEART of your story!

It's heart month!

I LOVE February!

I LOVE love!

I LOVE hearts!

My love of this month quadrupled upon the birth of my daughter, Annabelle, who was born with only half of her heart in 2010. In 2011, we spent heart month in the hospital, praying for a NEW heart. In 2012, it in the hospital ER with RSV and being diagnosed with failure to thrive. In 2013.... well, we spent it at home, eating WAY too much chocolate as a way to celebrate her FIRST Valentine's day at home!

Through the last few years, I've learned something pretty big in my writing.

And it's about hearts too. (and no, not just because I write romance!)

It's the the value of WRITING FROM THE HEART!

The heart is the seat of our emotions in our culture today. (Wasn't it the bowels in Bible days or something??? SO SO thankful we use the heart...)

So when we say, "write from the heart" it means that we are digging deep in our souls and splattering that on the pages. In order for us to evoke strong emotion in our readers, we need to pull from strong emotions as we write.

A tepid book is just not very fun to read.

That emotion will vary upon the author, upon the genre, and upon the plot.

The emotion can be fear, happiness, sadness, joy, passion, anger, anxiety, uncertainty, the list goes on and on.

A GOOD book will hit several of these emotions. YOU as an author should experience several of these while you write!

Writing, good writing, is a soul-seeking, bloody process. Even though I write funny romance, I still have to dig deep in me, in my experiences, and put my heart on the pages. Some of the reviews of my first novel reflect that... such as this endorsement from one of my FAVORITE authors.

"Don’t let the light-hearted cover and title fool you. Krista Phillips’ spunky, rough-around-the-edges heroine may be “tickle me” funny, but her faith journey offers more than a cute read. There is depth here, made all the more satisfying served up with a generous side of romance." - Tamara Leigh, author of Restless in Carolina and Dreamspell

Use your life experiences, the emotions and deep feelings you've had, when you write. You don't have to "write" your experiences, but you write to evoke emotions. That emotion will be vastly different depending on what genre you write and your voice. But it should still be there.

Annabelle's first valentine's day...
my blue baby decked out in her red!
(And yes, we DID bring her swing to the hospital ICU for her!

The last few years have been difficult, I'll admit. My family has gone through more than I'd ever wish on anyone. Congenital heart defects are awful, and they kill. (Did you know heart defects kill more children a year than all childhood cancers combined??) Seeing your child laying in a crib, their heart beating in an open chest, is life-changing.

My hope is that God can use the things I felt, the things I LEARNED, helps someone else when they read my books.

My books aren't about "heart" defects.

But they are definitely about the heart.

Discussion: What life experiences have you had that shape how you write? How do you show your emotions on the page?

(Note: this is a slightly adapted/updated repost~~ so if it seems familiar, that's why! But I thought it an important reminder and a great time of the year to post it!)

Perspective

My book officially "releases" in two days.

I won't lie. I'm completely, totally, on-top-of-the-world excited!

But....

It isn't the coolest thing ever. There are MUCH cooler things in this world.

Like seeing a newborn baby born into this world.

Or witnessing a person come to know Jesus for the first time, especially your own child.

Or getting a phone call letting you know that your dying child is going to have a second chance at life.

Yup. There are a lot more amazing things in this world than being published.

A few years ago, I might have argued that being published was one of the biggest things that could happen to me. Now I'll be happy to argue the opposite to anyone who cares to listen.

It all has to do with perspective.

God taught me perspective through my publishing journey.

In 2010, the day I found out that my manuscript did NOT final in a contest, I also found out that my unborn daughter had a malformed heart and only had a 70% chance to live past the age of 5... and only an 80% chance to live past the first week of life.

Perspective: Bad contest news... who really cares?

In January 2011, I spoke with my now editor on the phone when she requested me to send her a proposal for a book. My FIRST editor request! An hour later, doctors told me my 6-month-old daughter was dying and would only have a chance to live if we put her on the heart transplant list.

Perspective: Sending the proposal was now just busy work to get my mind off the scary stuff. Nothing more.

In April 2011, I found out my manuscript semi-finaled in that same contest it hadn't the year before. The next day, I got a phone call from my daughter's cardiologist. There was a life-saving heart available. About 15 hours later, my daughter's heart was being cut out of her chest and a heart from a deceased 2 year old was being put in it's place.

Perspective: Semi-final? What Semi-final? My baby is going to LIVE!!!

In June 2011, just days after going home for the first time, my daughter was admitted back into the hospital with a failing heart. She failed fast, and emergency, exploratory surgery was performed to try and fix it. It worked, and she came home! The next week, my editor called, offering me a book contract. Two days later, I signed with amazing agent, Rachelle Gardner.

Perspective Contract was AMAZING. An Agent was AMAZING. I won't lie. Both dreams come true. But it was just the final, decorative touches on the beautiful present God had given me, my daughter home, and well.

In July 2011, we finalized the contract and I officially signed it on Annabelle's birthday, 7/20/11. Two days later, she almost died at home. Unresponsive, barely breathing, she was given CPR, intubated in the ambulance and life-lighted to the hospital.

Perspective: What contract? I just want my baby better.

September 2012. Annabelle is doing great at 2 years of age. She's newly walking, trying to start to talk, still working on learning to eat. We are so very thankful for all God has brought us through and for EVERY SINGLE DAY we have with our sweet baby girl.

And my book releases.

Perspective:  Both are very, very, very cool.

But I think you can guess which one is the coolest.

Discussion: What is cooler than YOUR writing journey?

C.H.O.C.O.L.A.T.E. for the Post-Contest Blues

Pepper here - so get ready for a LOOOOONG  post.
It's a good day for encouragement, especially since Genesis semi-final news came out on Friday.

If you have 5 minutes, get some chocolate for your heart.

C – Cry – Proverbs 13:12 -Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.  
It’s your story, you can cry if you want to.  Being upset, confused, disillusioned, and disappointed is part of the contest circuit. After all, we’re sending out our little babies into the war – judges carrying red pens to possibly scar our flawless novels. Scary! Been there more times than I have fingers. It’s a part of the learning curve for writers. But remember good judges have preferences, styles, experiences, and points of view from which they score your manuscript – and each one can be VERY different. Just this weekend, on the manuscript I THOUGHT would final but DIDN’T, I received two similar scores and then one that had a 40 point score discrepancy. WHOA! That’s a big difference.

H- Hold Back – Ecclesiastes 8:1 - There's nothing better than being wise, Knowing how to interpret the meaning of life. Wisdom puts light in the eyes, And gives gentleness to words and manners.

Don’t start blaming others or yourself. ‘Hold Back’ from reacting in a negative way that could give others a bad impression of you. People respond in different ways over contest results. Instead of plotting novels, some start plotting ways to squish the judges. Don’t waste all your creative energy on something as useless as THAT. Also, ‘hold back’ from thinking you are the WORST WRITER EVER. It’s a contest, not a degree from college. This one moment in time does not define you as a writer. It didn’t cost you enough money to have that kind of power over you J

O – Others – Proverbs 27:9 - ⁹ Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight,
a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.

One of the best cures for disappointment is finding someone who will listen. Someone who has been through the same thing and understands. My writing buddies, especially Sherrinda, Casey, Mary, K. Dawn Byrd, and the Seekers have been a massive encouragement to me when I didn’t final in the Genesis last year, and didn’t place in 2 other contests either. Knowing they had worked through similar discouragement, grown, and even gotten published gave me the courage to lift my head, stop wallowing in self-pity (mostly), and try again.

C – Chocolate – Do I really need to explain this one? Isaiah 55:1 (taken totally out of context) Why do you spend your money on junk food, your hard-earned cash on cotton candy? Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best, fill yourself with only the finest. J

0 – Optimism/Humor –Proverbs 12:24 - Worry weighs us down; a cheerful word picks us up.

Proverbs 17:22 - Laughter is good medicine. Seriously. J And for the disillusioned heart, it can be a good source of healing. Perspective changes everything. The trip is always longer when you focus on how long it is, instead of focusing on the destination. Finding humor or joy in the middle of discouragement is the key to climbing from the mire and back onto the playing field. God loves humor, btw, he made a donkey TALK!

L – Learn – Proverbs 18:15 - Wise men and women are always learning, always listening for fresh insights.

I know, some of you may think you’ve reached the state of perfection, but I’m pretty sure our glorified bodies are only meant for post-mortem experiences. As you read through edits or critiques, or judge’s comments, take the opportunity to prayerfully consider them. Grow as a writer.  And while you prepare for your next contest or submission – study and learn. There are plenty of resources out there.

A – Attitude – Philippians 2:13 Do everything readily and cheerfully—no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God.

Much like ‘O for Optimism’, your attitude and determination about growing as a writer will help you put contest scores into perspective. Will you be bummed? Mad? Probably, but then what? Though anger might feel like a good starting point for growing (using all that energy it provides), you fizzle out pretty fast if that’s the only motivator. Something deeper inside you has to push you forward from one contest, or one story, to the next. An inner drive? A passion? A calling? Personally, for me- I feel God’s called me to this writing gig. And who He calls, he also equips. My mantra: God’s timing, my perseverance.

T – Time – Psalm 37:18 - God keeps track of the decent folk; what they do won't soon be forgotten. In hard times, they'll hold their heads high; when the shelves are bare, they'll be full.

The phrase ‘time heals all wounds’ applies here fairly well. It certainly doesn’t apply across the board, but in contests…yeah. Again, perspective. As I distanced myself from the disappointment and judges’ comments, I was able to read them from a fresh perspective. Take the good. Toss the bad. Pray – and read them again.

E – Enter –Psalm 31:24 – Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up. Expect God to get here soon.  

Don’t give up. Try again. Whether it’s reentering a contest, submitting to an agent, or hoping an editor will take notice of your work – one failure or rejection is just another step toward publication. Submitting is hard.
Scary.
But there is valuable information waiting on the other end of the ‘submission’ button – maybe even a win or a contract.
Ruth Logan Herne once said – if you don’t try, you’ll fail 100% of the time.
(The picture to the right is in honor of Annabelle Phillips, who received a new heart Saturday night. She and her family have been brave and strong for a long time. Praise God)

Keep writing.

Keep dreaming.

Keep trying.

The perfect dessert for the writer’s soul.

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Bible references take from The Message paraphrase

pictures courtesy of http://www.gizmodiva.com/
http://bookhuntersholiday.wordpress.com/2008/07/30/chapter-232-wtb-for-the-book-fair-supply-kit/
http://www.funny-potato.com/valentines-day-chocolate.html