When A Bestseller Breaks All the Rules

I check myself to make sure I'm not bitter.

It's been a long journey of rejection, correction and re-writing, and so, I know that my perspective might come from a less than noble place.

But I am sure it's not that. I am positive it's not the ugly green monster creeping up my torso to choke my neck and squeeze out my tears. Nope. After this long journey toward publication, I know that sensation all too well. And it's definitely not a judgement call out of envy, bitterness or the struggle to read when I want to be the one read.

So after I check myself and I am certain it's not that, I wonder how can an NYT Bestseller get away with all this? And it makes me slightly angry and mostly confused.

This book I hold and struggle to read breaks a bunch of rules...and it's a novel from a major house in a time where the market is completely saturated and competitive and fierce.

You may wonder, what in the world? And no, I am not going to mention the name of the book. That would certainly set me up for a debate the size of Facebook.

But I will mention the "rules" that I had once held dear, thinking if I can abide by these rules then I would be a bestselling author. And yet....my dilemma to embrace the following and come alongside the critics in their praise is in the face of these:

Head-hopping within one paragraph...but not consistently through the book. Just here and there. ACK!

Repetitive words through out a page...that could easily be changed. Ugh!

And then...

this one had me close the book, because this rule-follower-for-desperation-to-get-it-right just couldn't take it anymore...somewhere in Chapter 2:  While everything is in past-tense, this one scene--of little importance--is in present tense? WHA'??? How can that be? 

You may say, oh, the author has a readership so of course, they get more leniency. Ah, but this is a debut novel. Yes. The author had NO readership before this!

I am just so...annoyed.

And then, as I type this, I realize that I am looking from a backstage perspective. I am seeing all the tricks used by the actors to give the audience an elaborate show. And because I've tried to play out my own performance without any tricks, I can hardly breathe when the rules are broken and given accolades for a well-done performance.

Maybe that green monster really is there more than I care to admit.

Or maybe, I am just weary of this subjective road to be on the shelf and be read and have my story loved by the reader.

It goes to show that this industry really is not a guarantee for anyone. While one kind of book might satiate the needs of a certain house and the craving of a particular readership, another might just miss the mark on that day--that month--or with that single acquisitions team. While one house might play it safe and stick to the rules...AND produce bestsellers...another house might take a leap and break all the rules...AND produce bestsellers.

When it comes to the whys and hows of getting a book out there for all to read, it really is based on timing on many levels. So really, I have no reason to get upset, annoyed, or leave that book to gather dust. I just have to remember, it's not my time yet. And also, maybe broken rules aren't such a big deal if you can give the audience a great show?

What do you think? Have you ever had a difficult time reading a book as an aspiring author knowing the author is getting away with something you didn't?

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Angie Dicken is a full-time mom and lives in the Midwest with her Texas Aggie sweetheart. An ACFW member since 2010, she has written six historical novels and is represented by Tamela Hancock Murray of The Steve Laube Agency. Angie also spends her time designing one-sheets and drinking good coffee with great friends. Check her personal blog at angiedicken.blogspot.com and connect at:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/dicken.angie, 

Twitter: @angiedicken

Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/agdicken/

This is When You Can Break the Writing Rules. It's True!

While the spunky side of me loves this saying, "Rules are made to be broken," the realistic side of me says "Rules are made for a reason."

My spunky side is also a fan of "You CAN have your cake and eat it, too." Yes, yes, I know the saying was slightly different, (probably had a line in there about eating vegetables), but my spunky side is writing today's post.

I am a number two child. I am difficult. I challenge everything and get along well with others as long as they play by my rules. Spunk. My dad called it stubborn.

Ready for some fun?

Remember when Mom said: Don't touch the burner!

(she probably shouted if you were the rascal I was) 






If I took that statement at face value, I wouldn't have to cook or clean the stove. What she meant was don't touch the burner when it is hot. Except sometimes the burner doesn't look hot when it really is. Do I still get out of cooking and cleaning the stove? Nope.

Don't is a powerful rule word that requires a genuine understanding of individual circumstances. Newbies-like a five-year-old helping in the kitchen-need to see the don'ts as hard and fast. Unbreakable. Not pliable. No exceptions.

Because--

A newbie, in any field, has many other basics to learn at the same time.

It is so easy to see broken rules in books written by seasoned authors. I must admit I was jealous. Why do they get to break the rules, and I can't? 

Rules like:

*Write Tight
*No adverbs-use a stronger noun
*No prepositions at the end of a sentence
*Don't use fancy vocabulary
*Don't repeat words
and many more.


1. Write Tight - I felt like if I cut every word judges and critiquers said to cut I wouldn't have any left on the page! Yes. When first learning this rule, writers can feel this way. The best way to know how to trim text is to read the words out loud. If you put yourself to sleep, there are words desperately needing to be trimmed. If the section seems chatty. If there are obvious details (No, readers don't want to know that the character took a leak or read every word from a conversation). Rabbit trails (this is not referring to red herrings). Yep. This is what we need to cut. 

2. No Adverbs-use stronger nouns -  Adverbs are great for clarifying. Dictionary.com states adverbs clarify time, manner, circumstance, degree, or cause. These are great reasons to use an adverb. But, we first need to ask, does this noun really need clarifying? Can I maybe find a stronger noun? Now go back to rule one. If the adverb is not needed, write tight by cutting the word.

3. No prepositions at the end of a sentence - A hot burner scenario. Can I use one at the end of a sentence or not? Typically sentences sound inferior, clunky, or unpolished when ending with a preposition in the American language, hence the rule. But, we CAN end sentences with a preposition when we do it correctly. If you would like to know when you CAN end a sentence with a preposition Click Here for Oxford Dictionary's take.

4. Don't use fancy vocabulary - This is true. Mainly because at the end of the day, when reader's brains are fried, they don't want to pick up a book that requires them to have a dictionary by their side. Readers want to be entertained. BUT are teachable. Slipping in a higher lever vocabulary word here or there is NOT a crime. To use a beautiful word like onomatopoeia, surround the word with context clues. This WAS the trick used in your first grade reader! It works for every age. When you do, the reader will be buzzing, babbling, splashing, and hopefully not zzzzing over beautiful words like onomatopoeia.

5. Don't repeat words - Generally our typos or editing errors create repeated words. Sometimes being engaged in a paragraph we forget we used the same word twice in the previous paragraph. Usually this isn't so bad, but repetition is a characteristic of lack of creativity. We have tons of words in our language. Let's not locked in on a chosen few.

On the other hand, repeating words is a fantastic tool for emphasis or dramatic intent. I just read a YA story about a girl standing out on a ledge. A friend rushed to her, trying to convince her to come inside. After a while, "she threw her boots, thump thump." I stopped reading right there and thought, had I written the same sentence I might have said, thump. Only one--to convey the sound. The author instead not only conveyed the sound, but revealed both boots landed inside, a confirmation the girl would respond to the friend's instructions.

There are many other DON'TS that truly are breakable. 

The key is, we all need the strong don'ts until we learn 

when, why, where, who, and how to do the Do's.

Is this the year for you to break free from some Don'ts? We here on the Alley are excited for your writing this year. If you have any questions, let us know. We're here for you.

What one area of writing would you like to hone this year?

I can't wait to read your comment(s)!

Photo Courtesy-Man on bridge
Photo courtesy-Hot stove

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If you found any typos in today's post...sorry about that. 

Mary writes young adult mystery/suspense Christian fiction, is honing marketing and writing skills, and loves to pen missionary and Bible adventure stories on her ministry blog, God Loves Kids. She has finaled in several writing contests.

Visit Mary at her website, blog, and her ministry blog to families: God Loves Kids. Or chat on Facebook or Twitter

All subscribers to Mary's newsletter will receive her new short story an intriguing suspense/mystery. Based on real events in Denmark. Come, read a good story. To get your free gift, sign up for the newsletter at Mary's website or:

Subscribe to Mary Vee's Never Give Up Stories

Breaking the Rules

Okay, so my intention with this post is not to incite some sort of rebellion. I realize writing rules are wonderful guidelines that can set aspiring novelists on the right track. But with imaginations as vast as an endless horizon, I find it odd that some writers conform to the box and stay firmly with in those unwritten rules of storytelling.

Now, if your sole purpose in life is publication, it’s quite possible coloring between the lines is your best bet. But if your joy stems from the creation, and where the story can take you, I’d love to challenge you to take a walk on the wild side and bend, and maybe even break the rules. ;)

That’s not to say some people don’t thrive within the rules. The rules give them definable boundaries and ‘safety’ within their creativity. But for others, people like yours truly, the world beyond the leash bolsters their creativity.

So what are some of these rules???? 

-Always make the reader wait for the first kiss. (Instigated by the hero.)

-Don’t make the heroine too aggressive. She should be somewhat traditionally feminine and demure.

-Let the hero be the one who saves the day. (Heaven forbid a woman actually save herself!)

-Make the female so indecisive you want to reach through the page and bang her stubborn/insecure head against the wall.

-Make the first kiss short. (And very often a mistake.)

-Bring every conflict to a head in the black moment.

-Don’t be too honest about your hero’s inner struggle. If he thinks like a real man women will be offended.

-Don’t use exclamation points!!!!

-Don’t let your characters be tempted beyond a kiss. (They should have superhuman holy minds and perfect self-control.)

-Leave all backstory out of the first 50 pages.

-Stay out of your character’s head. Dialogue is more active.

-Always show, don’t tell.

-Make character flaws minimal. (And easily forgivable.)

-Can the adverbs.

-Don’t use any clichés. (Even though we all reference them in real life)  

I remind you, these can be helpful guidelines, but sometimes the greatest story you can write exists outside the boundaries.

Let’s play! What other writing rules would you add to this list? And which ones do you find you are most inclined to break?

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Amy Leigh Simpson writes Romantic Suspense that is heavy on the romance, unapologetically honest, laced with sass and humor, and full of the unfathomable Grace of God. She is the completely sleep deprived mama to two little tow-headed mischief makers and wife to her very own swoon-worthy hero. Represented by the oh-so-wise and dashing Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary Inc.

Follow the Yellow Brick Rules

***This is a repost from a loonnnnggggg time ago... I'm on a self-imposed deadline to get my next book to my agent by THIS WEEKEND so I'm cheating a bit!***

We've all heard of them. They are the "writing" rules that we, as newbie writers, need to pay attention to and follow. They are taught at writing conferences, preached in craft of writing books, scribbled in the margins of a critique, and typed in the notes of a contest judge.

But, we've also heard all the moaning about the rules. They stifle our creativity. They inhibit our voice. They are ignored by famous published authors, so why do we have to follow them? And who in the world makes these "rules" anyway?

All of these are valid questions. And *ahem* I'll attempt to answer them today. Beware though: You may not like the answers!

Myth #1: They stifle our creativity.
The rules shouldn't stifle you. If they do, something is wrong. In your creative mode, the rules should be in the back of your mind. Your first draft is totally allowed to break them. Get the story down. The editing stage is when you should REALLY start looking to see what works and what doesn't. Did telling make a scene boring? Can your writing be tighter if you resist the urge to explain? Do you have five was's in a row that make you writing sound weak? Find those things in the EDIT stage, not the WRITING stage.

Myth #2: They inhibit our voice.
This is a half-truth. If you let the rules direct you during the writing stage, your voice may be tampered. If you care more about pleasing a contest judge and less about writing a riveting, compelling story, then your voice might croak a little. Again, the answer is this: Write using your voice, edit using rules.

Myth #3: They are ignored by famous writers.

Why can established and famous writers break the "rules" and we can't? Well, there are a few reason for that.

• These writers already have a proven audience who are used to the "old" way.
• Writing "rules" change and develop. Many of these writers started writing BEFORE we knew what head-hopping was.
• Readers don't know what rules are. They just know if they like the story.
• I'm convinced this is the biggest reason: Many famous/experienced writers know how to break the guidelines in style. It's like that famous actress who wears something we could NEVER pull off, but they look phenomenal in it. Conversely, sometimes they wear something that looks stupid, but because they are famous, we forgive them:-)

Myth #4: No one knows who makes the rules.

Easy answer: Readers and Editors. Readers know what they like to read. Editors make it their job to know what pleases readers and what will sell. Eventually, the trends trickle down to us writers in the form of what we call rules.

***

So, here's the other thing.

There is NO SUCH THING as a writing rule. There is no big writing rule book that must be followed. In fact, I've heard several people say, "The only rule is that there are no rules" and I totally agree!

They are, in fact, guidelines. Things to keep in mind while writing. Take every rule you hear and do this.

When you see the word "Always" replace it with "Usually."
When you see the word "Never" replace it with "Sparingly."
When you see a command, add "Most of the time, you need to ____" at the beginning.

BUT

There is always a but, isn't there? I've seen many writers (including myself) use the fact that these are "guidelines" as an excuse for bad writing, which is a big no-no!

The way to combat this is with a GOOD editor and/or with GOOD critique partners, ones who understand that the rules are guidelines and won't ding you for each and every was, won't ask you to "show and not tell" in every single spot even when it would be *yawn* worthy to "show", but will honestly tell you when things just aren't working or when you've colored too far out of the lines. These partners won't tickle your ear with unnecessary praises, but will give you honest, balanced feedback, both the good and the bad.

I'm curious. What is the one rule you have the HARDEST time following? Conversely, what is the one rule that is easy for you?

For me, the hardest is a toss up. I suppose repetitive words and the use of "was" rates up there, as well as RUE (Resist the Urge to Explain.)

The easiest for me is no head-hopping. I'm very linear and analytical, so staying in one POV is very comfortable to me, and I can usual spot a POV slip a mile away when critiquing a novel.

What about you?

Just Tell Me, Already!

I'm about to break a rule. I'm about to give you advice that goes against everything you've ever heard. And no, it has nothing to do with cute shoes.

Here it is: sometimes it's better to "tell" than "show."

This past week, I've been reading the newest Karen Kingsbury book. If you haven't heard of Karen Kingsbury, then you probably aren't living in North America. She writes romantic suspense and romance, and let's just say she's a very successful Christian writer. And do you know what word I found in this book?

"Felt."

No. Joke. I can almost hear you gasp as you read this. How many times have you been told to never directly tell your readers about your character's feelings? To instead show the character gasping for air, leaping with joy, or choking back a sob? But you know what? This line really worked for me. And it's not just because it was written by Karen Kingsbury (although I will admit, that did make me feel more confident about writing this blog!). I've found the same thing to be true with other authors, like one of my all-time favorites, Robin Jones Gunn.

Let me tell you a little personal story. A while back, I got it in my head that I had to completely rid my writing of telling. I'd heard showing presented the strongest story, and that was that. So do you know what I did? I showed everything. And do you know what I was told by some of the people who read that manuscript? That my characters were difficult to connect with on an emotional level. I'm convinced the problem was, I was so focused on showing every little detail that those readers never knew what my characters were really feeling. And let's face it: a story where readers don't yearn for the characters is not a very good story.

Lest you think I'm suggesting you do a 180 and suddenly start telling your reader everything, don't worry--I'm not suggesting that either. I'm simply saying that sometimes telling does work best, so long as it's used sparingly and properly.

You still don't believe me. I can tell. It's going to take a while to let go of all that hatred you've built up toward "telling." I might as well be suggesting you start writing in dialect or passive voice, right? Well, let me give you a few examples of where it might work best to use telling:

1) To skip through time or distance. Your heroine is taking a trip to Europe. If you show us all the steps she takes from the time she steps into airport security until the time she greets Rome, that is going to be borrrring. We have a hard enough time staying awake through airport security in real life. Sometimes it's better to give us a sentence or two of summary or telling, sparing us the details.

2) To help pacing. This point goes hand-in-hand with the last one, but too much showing can drastically affect your pacing. Speed through the scenes (or scene changes) that don't need that much emphasis by telling us what happens instead of showing every little thing. That way, when you get back to showing, we'll know we're supposed to pay attention.

3) To build emotion or have a "wowsers" moment. Ever read a book with chapter breaks that hooked you so well you just had to keep reading? Many times, books will achieve this effect by combining a description of emotion (often in a telling way) with a "showing" list of things. So imagine a chapter that ended this way:

Strands of hair stuck to her too-sticky lip gloss. She turned away from him, overwhelmed by the smell of her own perfume. The boning of her bridesmaid's dress jabbed her ribs, and in that moment, she knew.


She would never be the same.

Notice the way that last part is technically telling, but it ramps up the showing, taking it to the next level rather than diminishing it. You never want to use telling to cover up poor writing. You only want to use it when you already have the structural elements of the "showing" in place, to add another layer to those showing elements. When used well, brief snipbits of telling can give us a beautiful window into the character's world.

Telling is definitely a practiced art. You have to do a lot of showing before you earn the right to tell for a little while. But remember that the "show, don't tell" rule is really more of a guideline.

Have you been taught to "show, don't tell," and have you ever wanted to break that rule? Can you think of any examples from books that break this rule well? What are some other roles of "telling" we can add to the list?

Photos from http://slowwriteturn.blogspot.com/2011/02/show-dont-tell.html, http://www.zazzle.com/show_dont_tell_sticker-217558938852844858

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Ashley Clark writes romantic comedy with southern grace. She's dreamed of being a writer ever since the thumbprint-cookie-days of library story hour. Ashley has an M.A. in English and enjoys teaching literature courses at her local university. She's an active member of ACFW and runs their newcomer's loop. When she's not writing, Ashley's usually busy rescuing stray animals and finding charming new towns. You can find Ashley on her personal blog and herTumblr. She's also on Facebook and Twitter. She is represented by Karen Solem.

The Privileged Class

Have you ever driven with a new teen driver in the car? Oh my, they are quick to say: You didn't come to a full stop, you didn't use your turn signal, your hands aren't at 10 and 2! 


And these aren't spoken, they're shouted.


Ah, yes, training in the hands of a newbie.




The writing journey has many newbie moments. As information/rules/guidelines are learned and opportunities to critique other's work grow, the writer is quick to see new "errors" in every written product from cereal boxes to famous published writers. Here is a slightly exaggerated sample :)  :

Adverbs Thou shalt avoid all adverbs , 

No Gerunds allowed (those "ing" words), 

Passive words Thou art a weak writer if even one passive word is used, 

and a myriad of other "no-nos" 

(Then again, all the good stuff gets missed
 when looking from the newbie side of the road
 toward what seems to be The Privileged Class)

Randy Ingermanson recently commented on this topic. He said:

"Since there are no actual 'rules,' in principle we could skip right over this idea. However, I won't, because it is hinting at a common but nonsensical notion that published authors are somehow a privileged class of people who don't have to write as well as other people.


"The fact is that published authors, as a class, are enormously better at the craft of writing than unpublished writers, as a class. Yes, there are some published authors who lack certain skills, and yes, there are some unpublished writers (generally those who are about to break in) who write extremely well. But looking at the average skill set for the two classes, they are well separated.


"The fact is that published authors who fail to improve their craft are damaging their careers. It's not about following or failing to follow some imaginary set of "rules." It's about writing well.


"The industry still prefers excellent writing to crap. Tragically, there is a very limited supply of truly excellent writing. There is a pretty good supply of good writing, which by definition is going to have some substandard parts. This should be good news.


"Be aware that your writing will never be perfect, even if you get published, and once you do get published, you'll be open to the usual sniping that comes at every published author. You'll survive this like everybody else does."




What can we do when we stretch our newbie wings after learning a new concept?

** Look for the qualities that can be learned from the book.

** Understand typos happen.

** Not everyone likes a certain story, this doesn't mean the book 

wasn't written well.

** Some "errors" are not errors at all. 

How about you? Chime in with kudos for published works


I'll start:. 

This week, a client of mine had a book in her hand when she came to her meeting. She was a native, single, young mother. I instantly recognized the book: Lynn Austin's Hidden Places. The young mom said she picked the book out from a bin at her college because she liked the cover. The bookmark showed she had read more than the first pages, yet she chose that book to have with her while waiting in the lobby! To think, she will be reading an award winning  Christian Fiction book. How cool is that?

**************************
Quote used with permission
Randy Ingermanson
Publisher, Advanced Fiction Writing E-zine
http://www.AdvancedFictionWriting.com/blog

Image by: Freedigitalphotos.net

This blog post by Mary Vee.
Mary lives in Montana with her husband and loves to hear from her three college kids. She writes Christian young adult fiction (pirate tales, missionary and Bible adventure stories).

Her Tag: Stepping into Someone Else's World.

To learn more about Mary, 
visit her blog: http://www.mimaryvee.blogspot.com

What's Up The Street For Next Week?

Now, does that not completely explain how the writing life can feel? Don't become stymied in the rules as Christin implied from her fabulous post on Wednesday, but let the joy of creativity overflow onto the page. It's only words! Enjoy writing them. :-)

But one thing we here on the Alley can ALWAYS promise is that... YOU CAN visit us everyday, here. We'll never send you away. :-)

Miss Rosemary Allspice is back! This time she has expert advice on finding your perfect agents from such wonderful authors as Deborah Raney, Jamie Carie, Siri Mitchell and more! Don't miss her jolly humour she brings to the Alley.

It's Tuesday! Which means it isn't Monday! Sherrinda is your hostess today, where RESEARCH is the name of the game.

Join Mary here on Wednesday to read the importance of using trivia. Stop your readers in mid sentence, cause them to rewind and reread. Listen to them say, "Really, I didn't know that?" before they return to reading your novel to them self. Cause them to repeat the trivia to the next person they see.

Have you heard the roar through cyberspace? Releasing her DEBUT novel in 2012, Keli Gwyn is visiting the blog (baring no unforseen jury duties :-) to share the experience of her FIRST SALE!

It's short, sweet and to the point...or it should be. It's your ending. It's got to be perfect and Krista has tips.

News Stand

Leave a comment for a chance to win That Certain Spark by Cathy Marie Hake!

Susan May Warren's Frasier writing contest is open! Check out the website for more details.

Sarah is hosting Arlene Pellicane with a snippet from her book, 31 Days to a Younger You on her website/blog.

Author Laurie Alice Eakes will be visiting Operation Encourage an Author this coming week.

Janice Hanna Thompson has a new freelance writing course out: Navigating the Business of Freelance Writing. You can learn more about it here.

Please be praying for Revell author, Leisha Kelly's family. Leisha and her son joined the Lord this past week in a car accident. You can read Revell's press release here.

Celebrate with Katie Ganshert who have sold her first two books to Waterbrook/Multnomah publishers!

We'll see you all on Monday, have a great weekend. :-)

Myth Busters #4: Ing, Ly, and Was KILL!

Myth Buster #4

Never.

I repeat.

Never.

Ever.

Let the words ending in:

LY

ING

or the three letter death word: WAS

enter your writing.

It is a mantra that is sung from the rooftops and proclaimed in the valleys, to never let three of these little "death" words enter your work of fiction, because it will KILL it! Decimate it. Stomp it into the ground. Murder. Death. Destruction.

I think you get the point.....

But why else would I be calling it a myth if not to burst it's pretentious bubble?

Because it is impossible to write fiction without breaking a few rules and without using these three little words or this case, one little word, two little generalizations.

Imagine the world of fiction with no use of the word "was". For example:

It was the same and a terrible sinking in the pit of my stomach settled down deep. Like rocks to the bottom of a rushing river, I was powerless to move, immobile in the face of my situation. It rushed by me like a mighty river, but I was at the bottom. Unrescueable.

Now without the "w" word

It the same and a terrible sinking in the pit of my stomach settled down deep. Like rocks to the bottom of a rushing river, I powerless to move, immobile in the face of my situation. It rushed by me like a mighty river, but I at the bottom. Unrescueable.

Was has been deemed a word that kills fiction and I will agree it is a lazy shortcut and borders on telling, but like you saw in the example above, you cannot go completely without. It is helpful though to go through your document and mark how many times you said the word "was", were they are and which ones can be eliminated, because you don't need all of them.

Instead of writing "I was tired" how about, "I yawned"? The first one told and included a "was". The second one was action and you saw and knew I was tired without telling you. There has to be a balance.

"LY" and "ING" get the same bad rap as "WAS" gets and for the exact same reasons. And like with the use of the word "was" you cannot completely do away with all "ly" and "ing" words. When I was editing my very first story, I went through and eagerly marked all my "ly" and "ing" words. Eager to do away with them with my sharp and at the ready, red pen. But as I went through I quickly learned that no matter how many times you try to rearrange a sentence, it doesn't always work out to your advantage to kill the "ly" and "ing" words.

This led to a great deal of frustration on my part and much hair being yanked at its roots. Until I learned that, like with everything else in the fiction writing world, there has to be a balance.

That is my point of today's post. You can't go from one extreme to the other. Killing "wases" and annihilating all "ly" and "ing". Because when you do, you will degrade your fiction into a pile of alphabet soup. But you can't keep all of them either. Too may "ly" words weaken your writing. Make it stronger with dropping the past tense "wases" and making it active. Make it real for the reader. "Ing" is harder to drop in my humble opinion, but still too much of one thing isn't good for you!

By all means go through your manuscript and highlight those killing words, but before you put them on the chopping block, look at more than just that one sentence. Does it make sense with the rest of the work surrounding it? Is it okay to leave it this time because it is needed, or does it need to go because it weakens your writing? Are you being passive or active? That is the operative word here: active. You have to be active in your fiction to make it jump from the page.

All things in moderation. Moderation being the key. Because in the end your fiction will be stronger for it.

What is your opinion on the "ly", "ing" and "was" curse? Do tell. :-)

RUE, WAS, TAGS, ITALICS -- oh MY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a WONDERFUL week we've had, learning all about writing rules... er, sorry, guidelines!

It all started 2 weeks ago when we learned why we have these dang writing rules anyway and dispelled the myths of writing rules.

Then Pepper gave us some great tips about ritin' di'lect in them thar books uh urs. Sherrinda made a public confession of her -ly adverb affair (she's promised to go to counseling and we're all very supportive!) Mary showed us how to show instead of tell. And Casey hopped onto the scene with her head-hopping no-nos.

I thought I'd touch on a few of my favorite leftover rules today. I promise I won't be long-winded (okay, TOO long-winded...)

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R.U.E. - No, it does not mean you'll rue the day you break a rule... It stands for Resist the Urge to Explain. R.U.E. at it's basic core, means not to explain something you've already shown or told. It is the ultimate help in "tightening" up your writing.

Example: Doug jerked up his pants to keep from tripping over the bottoms. The old things were way too long on him.

Jerking up his pants shows that they are too long. No reason to then explain it to us.

Dialogue example: "Please don't go, Daddy," Sheena begged.

We'll talk about dialogue tags in a minute, but her words show us she is begging... no need to explain it to us in a tag.

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EVIL "WAS" WORD - Go thee immediately and rid thy manuscript of all thy evil was's.

Just kidding:-) Was is a VERY needed word in the English language. I dare say if I ever read a book that had not one "was" in it, it'd be stilted and quite annoying.

Was, however, can become a crutch, and really, becomes a mechanism for telling instead of showing as we learned earlier this week.

It was dark.
She was tired.
He was angry.

Blah, blah, blah. Boring prose.

Potential fixes:

Doug squinted in the darkness. (Combines motion and setting)
Tina yawned. (Simple yet effective. And you'll notice, we showed you instead of told you!)
Doug slammed the glass down on the table. (and if I added, "He was angry" after this ... it'd be a RUE, imagine that!)

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DIALOGUE TAGS: We try to rid our dialogue tags of -ly words (she said quietly) by using stronger verbs. However, then we get our hand slapped for using enhanced dialogue tags like she muttered, he laughed, she whispered, she chortled (sorry, love that one!) If we just stick to plain he said/she said for all of our dialogue tags ... it gets very boring.

So what's a writer to do to appease editors/readers?

It's called a dialogue beat.

Example:
"Go away," Elsie yelled loudly. (adverb)
"Go away," Elsie screamed. (verb in a dialogue tag)
"Go away, you idiot." Elsie picked up the first thing her hand could find, a spiked heal, and hurled it through the air toward Doug. (beat)

The beat shows that she's mad, adding "you idiot" to the dialogue showed it even further. Even without telling me she yelled, I can hear it. You could also show her body's response to her yelling, her throat hurting, her blood coursing through her veins, etc.

BUT!

Please remember, as we've noted all this week, rules are made to be broken. You'll need a good Elsie said, she said, Doug said, he said, and the occasional he muttered. Just don't use it when a dialogue tag would do a more effective job.

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ITALICS: You know, too many italics can be annoying. We often use them to show internal thoughts. However, when you are writing in deep POV, you don't need them nearly as much. Italics should be used for short, punchy prose for emphasis, and should be used sparingly.

Okay, that was annoying to even me! Usually these are a few words long, maybe a sentence. Rarely are they more than that. Another time we use them is when we slip from 3rd to 1st person. But again, if you are in deep POV, you should need to do this sparingly. (Pet peeve of mine is slipping into 1st person for a sentence without using italics ... maybe it's just me though.)

Key: Italics are annoying. If you use them too much, the reader will get irritated. Irritated readers are never a good thing!

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: I have a Sherrinda-like confession to make. I love a good !!!!. My first MS was FILLED with them. Not just one at the end of a sentence, but a whole bunch of them!!!!! I thought they were fun emphasis, but I found they were annoying signs of lazy writing. Our words should convey excitement and not rely on our punctuation. I've heard a TON of rules on how often an ! should be used, so I won't quote them here. But I would encourage you to go through your manuscript and take out all the ones you think you can. Then go through one more time, and take out another half of those.

And never, ever, ever, please, pretty please, have more than one !!!

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Summary:

Uber wonderful agent Rachelle Gardner tweeted something that I LOVED yesterday.

I'm noticing many new writers vastly overdoing the "vibrant verbs." The verb has to fit the situation. Too much crashing, slamming, etc.

So rules can be overdone too. There are important reasons for each one. But there are exceptions as well. So learn them, practice them, but don't get married to them.

Let's end in song:

Oh, be careful, little writers, when you follow the rules... for the editor up above (and down here) is looking down in love (and with a red pen,) so be careful little writers when you follow the rules!

Any thoughts about the rules above? Any rules we didn't cover that you'd like us to sometime in the future?

H-Heeeeelp! CPR! ASAP! Something! I Just Head Hopped!

Head. Hopping.

I bet you hear those words more times than you care to admit. But before I head into a verbose description of why you don’t want to have it anywhere near your writing, let me make sure you all understand it and why it is a no-no. Let me see a show of hands. Yes, yes and oh dear, I see one of you poor newbies shaking your head in confusion. Head hopping? Are you crazy? How can you stand on someone’s head and leap from one to the other?


No, no, no, that isn’t what I am talking about. Though at times it would seem easier than trying to avoid it in your writing.

Head hopping is basically this: Leaving a character’s private and intimate thoughts to leap into another character’s emotions without warning to the reader.

Need another explanation. Sigh. I will try to write something….

Mary gazed out the bus window. The clouds fluffy blue against an azure sky. Jane across the aisle thought the same thing.

Poor I know, but that is what is. We were in Mary’s head at the beginning, we were seeing the sky through her point of view. But before the paragraph ended, we were inside Jane’s head. If we are inside Mary’s head, we can not see the sky the way Jane would.

Get it now?

Okay, let’s move on.

Sad to say, there are still authors out there- published even- that wish to add head hoping into their fiction. So you might be thinking that you can do it too right? Wrong.

Untried authors have a very little wiggle room for errors and one of the first things an editor will look for is if you are consistent with your POV (point of view). And if you are clear about whose head you are in, it will help separate your manuscript from the slush pile.

Head hoping is usually easy to fix and easy to spot. In most cases. But to make the change from one character’s head to another, put a space, an asterisk, or a symbol of some kind that is consistent through the whole of your book to separate one character’s thoughts and emotions from another.

One way I have heard staying true to one character’s POV is to literally get inside their skin. If you were this person, what would you be thinking? Unless your character is a mind reader, they should not know the thoughts of the character they are chatting with. They can interrupt what they think the other character is thinking, but it might not necessarily be accurate. That can lead to a great deal of angst, but that is for another week.

But there is another weasel that will infiltrate your fiction and is often the hardest to find. Below is an example and see if you can find the mistake.

Mary reached out to caress the soft rose petal, its velvet smoothness gliding between her fingers like silk. Jon's warm breath caressed her neck and she shivered, her heart thumping in her ears. Would he kiss her again? She squeezed her hands together and took a deep breath. Jon reached out a hand, hungry to feel the smoothness of her bare arm under his palm. The sleeveless blouse hugged her frame and he took a step closer. Mary spun and stared into his eyes, their deep pools, drowning her. She gulped.

Did you catch it? I went from Mary to Jon to back to Mary again. And that right there drives me c-r-a-z-y in fiction. It will turn me off a book faster than anything else. So make sure you watch for those moments and keep to one POV. If you want to get two in a scene, then describe in one POV and then make a space and do another POV. It is all about pacing and your reader will not mind back tracking to understand both character's thoughts.

Head hoping can sneak in other places too, places that weasel in the middle of the night to consume your work like a cancer.

Okay, maybe I don’t need to be so dramatic, but it can overflow your manuscript with red marks from the editor’s harsh pen. Keeping yourself firmly within your character’s head will clear up all problems. If you ever have a POV question, stop, and close your eyes. Think, “If I were this person, would I be thinking this? Would I know his thought? Would I know why he just crossed his arms?

And the answer to all of those questions is no.

When it comes right down to it, head hopping is a fairly easy mistake to clear up, but a common one to make.

While the popular and tried authors might be able to get away with it, it is really a lazy form of writing and should be nipped in the bud. Who knows, maybe that is what is standing between you and publication.

Lassoing the Nasty "Show, Don't Tell" Rule

If you haven’t had a chance to read posts from this week, you’re in for a treat.  We’re rustlin’ up some of our favorite newbie writer's rules.  Today we’ll lasso “Show, Don’t Tell.”

A regular frustration during my writing course came when my instructor scribbled comments like:   “What did he look like when he was angry?”  At first I stared at the question.  What did he mean by that? Everyone knows what anger looks like.  Aack!

After many trial and errors, I realized my teacher wanted me to show “anger” not simply tell “anger” in my text. BTW this doesn’t mean I’m a graduate of the “Show, Don’t Tell” rule.  

Think of a silent movie, (a later one done in color for this purpose) in which one character is filled with rage.  Since there isn’t a cue card or sound, the character needs to “show” rage to the audience.  She’ll probably exaggerate components like a balled fist, red face, bulging eyes, body leaning forward, and etc. to communicate “rage.”

One mistake I’ve made when attempting to “show” is adding too many words.  The goal is not to add or take away words, but to have the best words. Here’s where the “Write Tight” rule hops in.  Perhaps someone will address that in a future post.

The following paragraph "tells" about a storm:

Last night while working on my story a storm blew out of nowhere and pelted the neighborhood.  At one point the wind broke through the study window. Unfortunately, the computer shut off before I could power down.  I have to admit, I was scared.  My daughter was scared, too.  I found her in the hall and hugged her. As we sat together huddled on the floor, the power blinked then faded. I prayed for God's help and held her close.  

1.     Do you have a visual of this scene?

2.     Did you have sensory clues like sounds, smells, sights, texture, or tastes?

3.     Did you experience this scene with the character?

Here is a "showing" version of the same scene:

I tapped one or two new words to my WIP.  For some bizarre reason my characters wouldn’t speak to me tonight. 

The houselights flickered.  Sure looked like another summer storm brewing.  "Come, on, just two hundred more words to make my count." 

“Momma?”

“Katy? Why are you up?”

“Th—th--there’s a loud noise.”

“Go back to bed, Sweetie. It’s only rain.” I watched her toddle off, blanket in tow. 

Rain tapped on the house in the same rhythm as the keys.  A second thunderclap rattled the windows.  I glanced up as the lights flickered again.

“Momma!”

The monitor flashed black  “I’m coming.” 

Her footsteps rapped on the hall floor.  Without warning the lights evaporated.  “Momma!”

I groped the air in front of me. God, please show me where the doorway is.  “Stay where you are, Katy. Momma’s coming.”

I inched a few steps forward. Something is—what’s that humming sound? Thunder cracked. Lightening flashed through the windows. I ran toward the door. “Katy?”

Her scream sliced through pounding hailstones on the roof.

“Stay still, I’m coming.”  Where is she?  My arms flailed back and forth in the blank air.  I took another step forward and felt her soft, baby hair.  She lunged at my leg and squeezed.  “We’re OK, Sweetie.” I tried to slow my breath.  “It’s only a storm.”

We snuggled right there on the floor.  She whined, “I’m scared.” Her little heart pulsed like a speeding train against my skin. I pulled her back into the study and rubbed her back.  

Look back at the questions listed above. Would your answers differ for this second version? Which scene gave you a visual, provided you with sensory clues, and allowed you to experience the event with the character?  

Some telling paragraphs are longer than the showing version. This is often caused by unnecessary description.  The goal is not to add or take away words, but to have the best words  

There are several great sites offering worksheets and samples for the Show Don't Tell rule.  Here are a two:

http://www.tonibuzzeo.com/show_dont_tell.pdf - 

has great practice worksheets

http://palc.sd40.bc.ca/palc/ac-archive/0301/ACmay703.htm 

(excellent-teaches, gives practice-click for possible answer.)

Do you have an example of Show, Don’t Tell to share?