As many of you may know, I’m a mom of five. Each pregnancy,
delivery, and first 3 months had their own set of rewards and challenges, but
nothing quite compared to the first time.
Whoa.
I’d waited almost 9 months. Gone through at least 3 baby
books on ‘what to expect’, took the birthing classes, learned to live without
sleep because of my smashed bladder, worked through the aches, pains, twinges,
stings, and accidents as a results of sneezes. I prepared a baby ‘corner’ (we
didn’t have room for a nursery), bought tiny clothes, loads of diapers, and the
cutest diaper bag I could afford.
I dreamed of the moment I’d hold my sweet bundle.
I. WAS. READY
NOT!!
Reading all the books, taking the classes, talking to the
right people, setting up the room, - all of those certainly gave me tools and
skills that came in handy once my beautiful bundle arrived, but nothing could
TRULY prepare me for the physical, emotional, and mental gymnastics of having a
newborn.
Indescribable joy, overwhelming and immediate love, complete
and utter exhaustion, emotional uncertainty (over and over again), physical
strain, heart-swelling tenderness, powerful gratitude, mental fogginess, mama
guilt (over and over again)…the list goes on.
Well, it isn’t at the same MASSIVE level as having my own
child, but some of the same expectations and results apply to the ‘birth’ and
release months of my debut novel, The Thorn Bearer.
Let me remind you, I’d been taking the scenic route toward
publication for ELEVEN years!! Plenty of time to read A LOT of writing books,
attend classes, talk to the pros, push through to the end of several
manuscripts, overcome a myriad of rejections, and dealt with the frustrations
of writer’s block, weak characters, saggy middle plotlines, and overwriting.
I’d dreamed of this moment for years. Waiting….
I. WAS. READY.
NOT.
It’s a mixed bag of emotions…and lots of unexpected
pressures.
Was there excitement? Gratitude? An overwhelming feeling of
holding a dream in your hands?
Oh yes!
But there was also a great deal of other emotions too. The
time crunch of marketing, the high pressure of speed writing the next novel,
the continual ‘need’ to promote the book, and the insecurity of being able to
write another book worth reading.
Those may sound like small, insignificant things, but they
add up to physical, emotional, and mental demands for which I wasn’t quite
prepared.
Now, my debut has only been ‘out’ for a little over a month
so marketing is still a high priority, AND I have a deadline for the next novel
on July 30th. Fitting it all
in to a very busy ‘day’ schedule seems a little daunting, so my writing takes
place at night. (Not quite at an every 2 hour feeding schedule, but some
mornings it feels like it ;-)
So far – what have I learned:
1.
Use what you know: The info in all those baby books came back to
help me in crucial moments. The study in writing and the patience developed on
the front end of publishing helps give perspective on the back end of
publishing
2.
Balance is key. I’m trying to learn how to
balance my new responsibilities in with my old ones, but there is a balance.
Knowing my priorities helps me set this.
3.
Ask for help. Learn how to delegate what you
can. When I was a nursing mother, there were some things my husband just couldn’t
do…aka NURSE the baby, but there were things he COULD do.
4.
Take naps. (Um…I never got that opportunity with
a newborn, but I KNOW it’s beneficial). When you can find time to rest or take
a ‘brain break’ – take it!
5.
Keep dreaming. Sometimes it can be hard to see
past the fog or the stress, but underneath it all is still the wonder and
beauty of the dream. The sweetness of a newborn or the wonder of a book
release, both were given as gifts from God. Dreams God cultivated in our
hearts. In the middle of the struggles, late-nights, insecurities, it’s
important to remember the dream.
6.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. A messy house and
spit-up stained clothes are small in the middle of a newborn house. Right now,
as I track through my WIP, I can skim over the edits and go back to them later.
I can give the kids chicken nuggets for a few days and it won’t kill them. I
can leave dirty laundry for a while.
7. Keep the Calling in Mind. Most moms planned on being moms. They dreamed about it, looked forward to it, maybe even planned for it. Inside of them, there was a special calling of motherhood, one that can be easily forgotten in the middle of the night when you've been up with a colicky baby for 2 hours. But it's there. Behind the bleary eyes and spit-up stained blouse. The heartbeat of a woman with a 'calling'.
Writing is the same way. In the middle of the mess of figuring out how to manage all the new demands on your schedule and brain, we can sometimes lose sight of the special calling of "Writer". It's still there, and remembering God's gifted us with the unique ability to make stories helps encourage our hearts, fuel our strength, and give us the ability to take another step forward.
As I said, I’m still trying to figure it out, but I’d love
your thoughts. Those of you who’ve been through this, what tips would you give?
Any questions or additions to this list?
**************************************************************************
Pepper
Basham is an award-winning author who writes romance peppered with grace and
humor. She’s a native of the Blue Ridge Mountains, a mom of five, a speech-language
pathologist, and a lover of chocolate. She enjoys sprinkling her native Appalachian
culture into her fiction whenever she can. She currently resides in the lovely
mountains of Asheville, NC where she works with kids with special needs,
searches for unique hats, and plots new ways to annoy her wonderful friends at
her writing blog, The Writer’s Alley. She is represented by Julie Gwinn and her
debut novel, The Thorn Bearer, released in April 2015. You can connect with
Pepper on her website at www.pepperdbasham.com, Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/pages/Pepper-D-Basham or Twitter at https://twitter.com/pepperbasham
of edits for her next legal suspense. She's also offering Canteen Dreams FREE for a limited time only! I can personally vouch for this book--it's a keeper!
