Growing Patience & Self-Imposed Deadlines

I have written about self-imposed deadlines at the Alley before...I am pretty sure it's a struggle for many aspiring authors. We aren't held to a contract or have an editor pushing us along. But we are anxious to get this writing career going and want to get the submission-ball rolling. At least, that's how I feel most of the time.

Self-imposed deadlines are great goal-setting tools. I enjoy writing toward something; holding myself accountable to my writing time; keeping in mind that near future date so I stick to the story and don't allow non-writing things get in the way (well, the non-important non-writing things like Facebook and retail therapy).

There is another benefit to self-imposed deadlines, though. And that is the flexibility to change the

date if need be. Recently, I surprised myself after a decade of my publishing pursuit, when I met my self-imposed deadline with a complete manuscript...and then..I didn't hit send on that date. I wanted to be sure it was where it needed to be, not when I wanted it to go out.

You know your patience has grown when you pass up a self-imposed deadline to get it right.

It's a fine line to know when to hit send and when to pause for another read-thru. Sometimes, we peck our stories to death and tweak and tweak and suck the joy—and perhaps the voice—out of the story. There's a lot of fear and guts and vulnerability in hitting send. So those self-imposed deadlines can give us that courage.

But, sometimes, that self-imposed deadline should become more of a checkpoint than an end. I took another week after my last deadline and did a read-thru and more tweaking. I am so glad I did. That fear and vulnerability died with my cut lines and deleted commas.

How about you? Do you set deadlines and ever pass them up to get it right?

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Angie Dicken is a full-time mom and lives in the Midwest with her Texas Aggie sweetheart. An ACFW member since 2010, she has written six historical novels and is represented by Tamela Hancock Murray of The Steve Laube Agency. Angie also spends her time designing one-sheets and drinking good coffee with great friends. Check out her author page at www.facebook.com/dicken.angie, her personal blog at angiedicken.blogspot.com and connect at:

Twitter: @angiedicken
Pinterest: pinterest.com/agdicken

The Pitfalls of a Self-Imposed Deadline

on FreeDigitalPhotos by Stuart Miles

My family and I drove from Iowa to North Carolina back to Iowa again in a week...so I decided to post an oldie, but one that still applies to me at this very moment! Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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From the time we enter a classroom at the early age of five, we begin to set our feet toward goals...goals to learn the alphabet and sightwords, goals to climb across the monkeybars and jump off swings.

As we grow, we make goals for good grades and fitness tests, goals to get the lead in the play or make the team. Some of us made the goal to be an author way way way before we could even read a full-length novel...Goals, goals, goals.

While many of us were given goals by our teachers, our parents, our advisors, as we trek along in the great wide world on our own—without a publishing contract, perhaps without an agent-- we are sole initiators of our goals. During this process, we all have certainly stumbled upon a type of goal that can motivate us or trip us up, or both:

The self-imposed deadline.

Even the mention of it makes me shudder.

Not that it's bad.

No. It's what gives us the edge most of the time. It's the symptom of an inner drive to make ourselves competitive and productive. A self-imposed deadline is usually a stepping stone to reaching that next level on our journey.

It's the polished entry for a contest... x number of days before to be sure you have it just right.

It's the tweaked proposal ready for your agent's eyes when you are ready to reveal your next idea.

It's that date to finish that final sentence of a manuscript you just know will get you a contract.

It's the date YOU'VE committed to in your heart, without the suggestion from anyone else, without the expectation of anyone else. It's YOUR timeline for YOUR journey, crafted on YOUR very own.

on FreeDigitalPhotos by photo stock

So why does it make me shudder? Why? When self-motivation is often key to keep going forward on this rigorous writing journey?

Because, I have landed heart first in the pitfalls of self-imposed deadlines, and know that they are a very tricky and sensitive type of goal-setting. 

• First, there is a chance that a deadline like this might rush you by key points in the writing process. 
• Second, you risk the chance of unreasonable expectations on those who play on the receiving end of your met goal.

Pitfall #1:  Missed Opportunities- When I had a project in college, I would brainstorm quickly and focus in on the first idea that came to mind. I took it and ran. I would get so deep in the project with that focus on my original idea, that I didn't take the time to entertain other options. If I did come up with something else, I was usually too far into the project and too close to the actual deadline to change anything. I'd look around at my classmates projects and remember that even thought they were slow to start, their final products were strong ideas with well-thought out execution...sometimes mine lacked those things.

As a writer, I often catch myself zoning into a self-imposed deadline, trucking along on a story, and feeling the pressure of the deadline pushing me past any idea that might hold me back from my goal a few days, weeks, or even months. When we force ourselves to stick to a self-imposed deadline, we can forget the fluidity of such a goal, and miss the maturing process of newborn ideas and complex building blocks that might slow us down, but give us a more refined (and desirable) product in the end.

Pitfall #2:  Expectations of the Un-expecting- If I finished a project before the deadline, I could hardly expect my professors to set aside time to grade it and critique it ahead of the rest of the class. It just doesn't work that way. Just because I might have reached my goal, doesn't mean that everyone affected by it are waiting on the edge of their seats to pat me on the back.

This is something that can drive me absolutely batty in the writing world. You mean, I spent all this time working on this manuscript or proposal, and have urged my crit partner to abide by my deadline (and she is so great at getting it back to me), and I sent it to my agent (I so appreciate her responsiveness as she is very quick in sending it on when it's ready)...but the receivers aren't anxious to meet me at my next self-imposed goal of a contract by such and such date? WHAT??? 

Crickets...a rejection here and there...and more crickets.

But I wanna, but I said, but I set a...hmph.

on FreeDigitalPhotos by Clare Bloomfield

The risk of weighting these self-imposed deadlines so heavily, is that we expect others to step in line with them and play the game OUR way. And more often than not, we will be sorely disappointed. We are placing undue expectations on people and situations we cannot control.

Self-imposed deadlines drive us, but they can also drive us CRAZY if we let them become the steadfast rule. Remember, a self-imposed deadline should be fluid and adjusted according to your creative process and life circumstance. And always remember, that a self-imposed deadline is only imposed by you, so don't expect everyone else to mark their calendars too!

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Angie Dicken is a full-time mom and lives in the Midwest with her Texas Aggie sweetheart. An ACFW member since 2010, she has written five Historical Romance novels, has a Historical underway, and is represented by Tamela Hancock Murray of The Steve Laube Agency. Angie also spends her time designing one-sheets, selling Jamberry Nail Wraps, and drinking good coffee with great friends. Check out her author page at www.facebook.com/dicken.angie and her personal blog at angiedicken.blogspot.com 

HELP! My family hates when I write....

"Moooommmmmmm... are you writing.. AGAIN?"

"Honey, are we really having frozen chicken nuggets for dinner... again?"

"Mooommmmmmmm.... You tell me *I* can't be on the computer, then why can YOU?"

"You write? I mean, are you published? Huh. How much did it cost you?"

"Honey, what's the point? You're not making any money anyway..."

That last line makes me cringe. My spouse has never said it to me, but I've heard of many who have, and I'd love to have a nice long chat with them.

The dynamics of writing are an interesting one when it comes to dealing with your family, especially if they aren't the "writer" type. Sometimes it's hard to understand how investing so much time and energy, many times with years of no monetary validation.

While I've been blessed to have a family who supports me, I've also done a few things to help keep it that way. Because there have definitely been moments when their patience for my "career" has waned.

1.) Protect your FAMILY time. I have times when I HAVE to write, especially when a deadline looms. But in non-deadline times, I make sure I protect my family time. Oh goodness. I just typed that, and a billion times when I have NOT done so flashed before my eyes. Yeah, I need to get better at this.

2.) Protect your WRITING time. Just like you need to protect your time with your family, put aside time for your writing though. I have a few WRITING ONLY times scheduled into my week that NOTHING gets in the way with. Messy house? It can wait. The only exception is emergencies or sick kids. They always trump writing:-)

3.) INVOLVE your family. If I'm having a plot point problem, sometimes it becomes a topic of conversation around the table. I LOVE brainstorming with my family. Eh, sometimes they don't care, but other times, they catch the story-crafting bug and start throwing out ideas. Even if they are all horrible, it feels good that they try. And in the case of my first book, Sandwich with a Side of Romance, my daughter actually helped me brainstorm the start of the book!!

4.) Have a family meeting. Don't roll your eyes at me! Seriously, if you feel like you're always getting slack for writing, sit down as a family and discuss it. I did this recently. I'm gearing up for my next book to come out late summer and am knee deep in writing stuff to do, and I was starting to get comments (mostly from my kids) about Mommy getting to go write and they had to sit at home and... play? Oh BOOHOO I say! Basically, I reminded them that while I do enjoy writing (most--some--of the time) it's also my JOB. The IRS recognizes this, and they need to as well! Just like I used to go to work everyday, I need to write everyday.

5.) Have Patience. If all else fails, just be patient. Sometimes they just won't get it. And that's okay. Love them anyway. Write anyway. When you DO get published, their eyes will perk up:-)

Discussion: How does your family feel about your writing? Do you ever struggle with justifying the time you spend writing?

(photo by freedigitalphotos.com)

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Krista is a follower of Jesus, a wife, a mother, and author of Sandwich, With a Side of Romance . She blogs about finding JOY in the journey of LIFE at http://www.kristaphillips.com. She is represented by Rachelle Gardner.

 

What I wish I'd known

It was 2007.

I sat down at my computer, having experienced a divine urge to write again after many many years of doing so just for fun, never getting past chapter three of a book I'd plotted out just for kicks when I was 18.

So there I was, a wife, a mom of three young daughters, a fulltime corporate manager who worked way too many hours, and God was calling me to write?

Hmm...

But an idea for a new book swirled in my head and ignoring it was impossible. I wrote on lunch breaks. After the kids were in bed. On business trips in the hotel room at night.

And three months later, I typed The End on my 90,000 word Christian romance novel.

WAHOO!!! That was a fabulous feeling!

But then I realized something as I was reading back through it.

My book was HORRIBLE. I started joining writing groups and actually learning the process of writing. It was an enlightening experience!

The other day, I was thinking about what I would tell my "old" self if I could go back in time and give that newbie writer a few tips. Because it's now seven years later. I have an agent, I've traditionally published my first book and am looking to epublish my second one (a novella) later this year. I am far removed from that green writer who was writing with open abandon, not a care in the world, just wanting to tell a story.

So I thought I'd share those tips with you all today.

1.) More words does not equal better writing. You'll learn about overwriting and RUE and all those fancy writing terms later and that will explain more. But for now, just stop adding words and prepositional phrases everywhere to make things sound cool. 'Cause it doesn't sound cool.I promise.

2.) POV. Limited. Look it up. It'll save you a LOT of editing.

3.) Dream-mostly-big. Teaching your kids to follow their dreams, and being an example, is SUPER important. But not more important than giving your kids the time they need, and not to the point where they feel your dream is more important than they are. Balance, Krista. It's all about balance.

4.) Just Don't Do It. Those first two query letters you sent? The ones where you thought you were being so unique and cute and "stand-outish"? Don't send them. Because you probably would stand out. Some editors/agents will get a few GREAT laughs around the water cooler because of those letters. Save yourself the humiliation and learn how to write them first.

5.) Enjoy the ride. Later, things like deadlines and numbers and expectations will come. Don't rush so much, even though I KNOW you are super impatient. Your book will not be published anytime soon. And that's okay. You're not ready for it anyway. Just enjoy the process and have FUN.


Discussion: What would you tell your newbie writer self? Any words of wisdom looking back?

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Krista is a follower of Jesus, a wife, a mother, and author of Sandwich, With a Side of Romance . She blogs about finding JOY in the journey of LIFE at http://www.kristaphillips.com. She is represented by the fab agent, Rachelle Gardner.

The Bus Route of a Writer

Transportation is a funny thing. Some of us like to drive a car and be in control. Some prefer to fly, reaching their destination at record speed. Some might prefer a train or maybe a bike to get us where we are going. What mode of transportation do you think we writers tend to take on the journey to publication? The bus. For those of you who have never ridden a bus, there is much to be learned in the busing experience.

You must have endurance to ride the Writer's Bus. You see, certain aspects of a bus ride are not pleasant. On a longer journey, a bus will have a toilet, and sometimes that toilet just plain stinks. Sometimes your seat neighbors are noisy, preventing you from sleeping. Sometimes they want to talk to you, keeping you from that book you have been dying to finish. For the writer, you have to endure the hard things on the journey to publication. There's rejection, poor contest results, a harsh critique, and the ever present fear that you aren't good enough. You have to learn to tune out the bad and keep your eyes on the road. The goal is straight ahead.

You must have humility to ride the Writer's Bus. We've all been there. You are riding along and the bus stops, letting people off and picking up others. Your ride seems to be taking forever as you keep stopping, letting off more and more people. On the Writer's Bus, you may have a long journey ahead of you. You will have to learn to have patience and a big dose of humility to watch those on the same journey get off earlier than you. You will be tempted to compare and get depressed that you haven't received "the call" to get off, but you need to know that everyone's journey is different. Some might be going across town, and then some might be crossing state lines, taking alot longer than expected. Keep your chin up. Your stop is coming!

You will experience joy on the Writer's Bus. There is such a variety of people who ride the bus, with a variety of experiences. You will meet people who will become life-long friends. You will meet those who will encourage you, critique you, and motivate you to keep spinning tales, even through the difficult times. This will be one of the greatest blessings on the ride...friendships that will help you along the way.

While there are certain aspects of the Writer's Bus that are difficult, the journey to publication is an exciting one. New people to meet, new stories to write, and new obstacles to overcome. It's a difficult trek, but one that will build character, discipline, and grit. It will be a journey that will bring you closer to the One who called you to board the bus. You will learn without a shadow of a doubt that He is the Bus Driver, opening the door for you to get on and opening the door to let you off at your destination.

Trust the Driver. The length of your journey rests in His hands.

What has been your experience on the Writer's Bus? Can you think of any other way the writing journey is like a bus ride? 



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This post is brought to you by
 Sherrinda Ketchersid

Sherrinda is wife to "Pastor John" and mother to three giant sons and one gorgeous daughter. A born and bred Texan, she writes historical romance filled with fun, faith, and forever love.

The Agonizing Wait

Here's how the typical Christmas morning unfolded when I was a little girl. I'd wake up well before the sun even dreamed of rising and would roll over and nudge my older sister, my voice shaking with excitement. "Wake up. It's Christmas!"

She'd mumble something about it being too early and go back to sleep.

I'd wriggle out of bed and hug my flannel PJs close to my skin. A teenage sister couldn't dampen my Christmas spirit. I'd tiptoe out into the hall and find my older brother peeking out of his room.

We'd meet somewhere in the middle and glance toward the stairs. "We should try to go down there," he'd whisper.

I'd look at the black stairway then at my parents' bedroom door and chew on my lip. "I don't know. We'd get in big trouble if they found us."

He'd take a few daring steps down, only to return back to my side and plop down next to me on the top stair, where we'd follow the family tradition of waiting for Dad to get up and lead the procession downstairs.

Minute after agonizing minute, we'd stare at Mom and Dad's closed door, as if our eyeballs could open it by sheer willpower. Eventually my sister would wake up and join us, the excitement building as we speculated about what could be waiting under the tree.

Then the moment would arrive. The big door would open and my dad would emerge. But instead of walking straight to the stairs, he'd get a little grin on his face and say, "I need to take a shower first."

We'd all sigh and slump down while we waited for him to take the longest shower in recorded history. He'd open the bathroom door and then, as if to taunt us, would draw out his razor and do a thorough shave. Didn't he know Santa went with the beard look?

Finally, he'd meander down the hall and say, "Okay kids, you ready yet?" To which we'd all roll our eyes and say, "Daaaad!"

Then he'd lead us down the stairs and we'd open our presents and revel in the joy of Christmas.

So what does that nice little tradition have to do with my life as a writer? It taught me to wait...and wait...and wait. I'm pretty sure Dad didn't know how much patience he was developing in me.

Then again, maybe he did.

How do you handle the waiting that comes with your life as a writer? Who taught you the value of patience?

*Santa picture by Akarakingdoms / FreeDigitalPhotos.net