The One Review You Need to Make it {Guest Post with Author Crystal Walton}

Hi! It's Laurie :) I just met a new-to-me author and couldn't wait to introduce her to you. (I've apparently been living under a rock.) Anyway, I absolutely love what she has for us today. Take it away, Crystal! 
 

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"If you live for people's acceptance, you'll die by their rejection."

Ahem, excuse me while I go dig that arrow out of my chest. :)

That stings, doesn't it? We naturally desire acceptance. It's one of those built-in battles we all wrestle. And in case the vice isn't challenging enough on its own, the publishing industry steps it up ten notches by constantly measuring an author's value in neat, quantifiable metrics. Rankings, sales graphs, a convenient list of endless rejections from Bookbub, the number of hurtful reviews in the “place that must not be named” (*cough* Goodreads) ;) The list goes on and on.

Man, I know the pain of this struggle. When a careless comment in a review broke my spirit recently, my husband rested a tender hand on my arm, and in an equally gentle voice whispered, "You're remarkable to me."

I wanted so much to cling to his words and separate my identity from my work. But it’s hard, isn’t it? Our work is a part of us. And when we're thrust into a world where success hinges upon others' opinions, it's easy to end up staking our worth in those mass opinions and metrics (or lack thereof).

Which One Do I Listen to?

Before I dove into publishing, I remember reading an open letter to aspiring writers about things we should expect to encounter in the business. The author candidly warned that positive reviews will bolster our confidence but only for about a day. Negative reviews, on the other hand, will crush our spirits and be remembered forever. Ouch.

Lysa TerKeurst once shared about crying in a parking lot while scrolling through a website where readers debated her like she was a product on a shelf instead of a person with feelings. But while the criticism and rejection pierced deeply, she clung to the truth of her identity.

At a conference, she brought a stack of reviews to the platform and read them off, one by one. The first was a glowing remark about how amazing her work was and how profoundly it'd touched the reader's life. The next was a slam to Lysa's writing skills and a harsh critique of her theology. Back and forth, on and on it went. After several, she held them up and asked the audience, "Which one do I listen to?" The answer? Neither.

Ooh, that’s hard. But here’s the thing. Despite how much value the system places on reviews and outward accolades, the bottom line is this. There's only one review worth listening to. Ready for it?

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. By design. On purpose. With gifts to share and a voice that matters. Your value does not increase or diminish based on reviews or publishing metrics. You are loved unconditionally and irrevocably by a Father who puts His arm around you when no one else does and whispers, "You're remarkable to me."

When we ground our identity in that truth, the winds of rejection don’t relent. Doubts still thunder. Comparisons still taunt. But through it all, we continue to stand, anchored. Not in a quest of seeking affirmation, but in a journey of learning to abide in our calling.

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Author Bio: Crystal received her bachelor of arts from Messiah College in PA, married her exact opposite in upstate NY, and earned her master of arts from Regent University in VA, where she currently resides with her husband, David. Crystal writes contemporary clean romance fueled by Starbucks’ venti green teas. She’d love to connect with you at crystal-walton.com and Facebook.

Connect with Crystal:

Facebook: http://facebook.com/crystalwaltonwrites
Free Book: http://crystal-walton.com/new-release-mailing-list/ 

Check out her upcoming release: Begin Again: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01NAQDA8K

The Biggest Threat of Rejection

It's about to get real, y'all. So do me a favor-- grab a cup of tea (*cough* or coffee), find a cozy seat, and let's talk about rejection. We've all been there. And if you haven't... well... don't worry, it's coming. HA! (Even if your first novel is a NYT bestseller and sells two weeks after you submit it to your favorite publishing house, I guarantee that at some point, someone will reject you because that's just the nature of this thing.)


Several weeks ago, I received a rejection from one of my dream editors at one of my dream houses, and I was just sure this was the one. (Ironically, it came just after my last Alley post about the beauty of your story, whether or not it sells. Maybe next time I should write about the beauty of your novels becoming Hallmark movies.)At first, I handled it remarkably well. I've got plenty of other houses to submit to, one in particular has already shown interest, and I am super confident in this story. I trust God has a path for it, as I've never trusted before. This book changed me, and much as I have big dreams for it, that in and of itself really is enough.

Then one day a week or so after the rejection, I found myself in the garage, suddenly crying my eyes out. Matt came in, and after I believe the words "What in the world is happening?" came out of his mouth, he gave me a big hug and asked me what was wrong. "I just don't understand why they didn't want my story," I whispered.

These moments will define us.

The moments our foundation feels cracked, but we simply keep walking.

As the following days passed, I noticed I had to fight much harder to keep my peace. Suddenly, I was looking at other people's books and wondering, "Why not me?" And I really had to fight against a victim mentality. Have you ever been there? I think all of us have. It masquerades as a healthy, normal way of coping with disappointment. But it's so not healthy.

When we let ourselves say, "I worked so hard for this for so long, I earned it," we are taking ourselves out of the hand of God.

Ouch. I know.

But it's true, you guys.

I don't care if your story is rejected by twelve publishers in twelve days.

If you are pursuing writing because it is a calling, you have a reason to be thankful.

Now, I'm not saying it doesn't sting. Today, in one of my less graceful moments, I turned my ankle on the concrete Starbucks patio. While holding iced coffee. While holding the baby. Miraculously, only my pride was wounded, except for this gnarly skinned knee (despite my holiday leggings!). It's been ages since I've had a skinned knee, and let me tell you, those suckers sting. Especially if you decide to put peroxide on them. But you know, I'm sure it'll scab by tomorrow. And then every day, it will get better, and then in a couple weeks, I'll be back to normal.

The sting of rejection is also very real. But it doesn't have to linger. You don't have to keep scraping the wound. It doesn't have to steal your calling. And that leads to a question...

What if the biggest threat of rejection isn't from a publishing house, but from you?

What if the biggest threat of rejection isn't your story but your calling?

Now, what do I mean? Well, we all know how rejection of a manuscript feels. We know the consequences of the closed door. Maybe even a closed door we ran full force into. We are keenly aware of the effects. No one needs to warn you that disappointment and missed opportunity are possibilities.

But are we equally cautious of something that would be far more dangerous to lose? Something that holds us through and beyond every novel, every doubt, every victory--from editors to readers to our own self-doubt?

Are we guarding our calling, or rejecting it?

Are we playing a victim and saying to ourselves, "Well, maybe I'll jus throw in the towel this time"? Or "God, the book you gave me didn't sell, so next time, I'll try the story line on my own." Maybe even, "This calling has made me a failure"?

Listen to me, friends. The only one who can reject your heart's calling to this ministry, to these stories, is you. No editor, or agent, or readers, or friends have that power. You and you alone are responsible to guard your heart, and keep at the work. A rejected manuscript does not mean God's work in you has failed, or even that it's done. It just means not now for that project, not with them.

Do not empower rejection by letting it scar your heart. Do not offer it your dreams and hopes and beautiful stories all wrapped up like a gift because you're so afraid it'll take them anyway.

Do not let rejection steal your calling.

Your storyteller's heart is your biggest treasure of all.

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Ashley Clark writes romance with southern grace. She's dreamed of being a writer ever since the thumbprint-cookie-days of library story hour. Ashley has an M.A. in English and enjoys teaching literature courses at her local university. She's an active member of ACFW and runs their newcomer's loop. When she's not writing, Ashley's usually busy rescuing stray animals and finding charming new towns. You can find Ashley on her personal blog, Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. She is represented by Karen Solem.

Let's Talk Rejection

Yesterday, I received two rejections in a matter of a few hours. Okay, so one was just a contest entry, but still. The proposal rejection was fairly... shall we say... comprehensive. :)

Rejection is something that we, as writers, don't like to talk about or think about or plan for. We'd all like to be that person who lands a three book deal with a major publishing house from just a proposal. But is that really what's best for our writing life? What if God's path for us looks different? What if He has ways for us to grow, things for us to learn, along the way?

Do you ever feel like Cory Matthews in this episode of Boy Meets World? (It's the one where Topanga convinces him to help with a petition to save a teacher's job, and when he does, he realizes it feels good to help other people... to get involved with something he otherwise would've overlooked. And then, even with--especially with-- his crazy hair, Topanga makes Boy Meets World history and kisses him for the first time.)

Photo from https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/84/55/70/845570f7a54556311d26fae98b31d3d4.jpg

Those of you who love Boy Meets World will appreciate the analogy. 

Sometimes we are just not having a good hair day, and we do not feel ready to take on the world.

Sometimes, we get hard news, and our confidence is a bit shaken. Maybe even our vision.

But the reality is, we all face rejections-- small and large. You may think, "Oh, if I could only get a published, then I'd finally find my confidence." But in reality, published authors are still rejected all the time.

If you're going to be a writer, you're going to have to learn to keep company with rejection. So let's learn to keep that company well.

Here are several things I think are important to remember when it comes to rejection:

• Rejection neither defines nor reflects us. This is a hard one, I know. You poured your heart and soul into this story, so naturally, a rejection of it feels like a rejection of... well, your heart and soul. But that's not the cause. You are not defined by your ministry, whether your work is rejected, OR (perhaps even more importantly) whether it succeeds. 

• Rejection is a learning opportunity. My most recent rejection was my first attempt at category romance. Thought it wasn't the right fit, through that experience I learned a lot about amping up the chemistry between my hero and heroine. You may not agree with all the reasons you were rejected, and that's fine. But look for learning opportunities.

• Rejection always stings. It just does. So give yourself permission to feel sad, and grieve the loss of what could've been. When someone close to you is rejected, send them a hug and remind them of the value in their writing. Sometimes we all need that perspective.

• Rejection sets our course toward the next best step. No one wants to hear "no." We all want to get "the call." But would you want that call if it weren't the best fit for your writing? Of course not. Rejection frees you up for the possibilities of God's working in your life, like breaking up from a just-okay relationship before your spouse comes along.

• Rejection can fuel us toward our next project. Use that frustration you feel and the honesty of your raw emotions to motivate your next WIP. Make something good out of the difficult news. Refocusing also seems to help us get our vision back.

Your turn! What have you learned from the rejections in your writing life? How do you pick yourself up and move forward?

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Ashley Clark writes romance with southern grace. She's dreamed of being a writer ever since the thumbprint-cookie-days of library story hour. Ashley has an M.A. in English and enjoys teaching literature courses at her local university. She's an active member of ACFW and runs their newcomer's loop. When she's not writing, Ashley's usually busy rescuing stray animals and finding charming new towns. You can find Ashley on her personal blog, Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. She is represented by Karen Solem.

Ghosts of Rejections Past: Guest Post by Patricia Beal

**Please welcome back Patricia Beal to the Alley. I had the pleasure of meeting her in person at this year's conference! She is an amazing person and shares some powerful encouragement with us today!-- Angie**

It’s been a month since the ACFW 2015 conference. I spent the first week post conference editing, and by the end of September my agent and I had submitted all we were asked to submit.

Now we wait.

And wait.

I’m horrible at waiting. I can manage to stay positive for about two weeks, but after that the ghosts or rejections past tend to take over, and I start expecting the worst. I take my eyes off Jesus, look at the waves, and sink fast.

Victim of Grace by Robin Jones Gunn

In her book Victim of Grace, author Robin Jones Gunn writes about her journey to publication and her life as an author. She says that the consistent rejection from publishers was demoralizing—an exercise in defeat. She almost quit. Psalm 102:18 kept her going: “Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the LORD.” She was pregnant with her second child when that verse spoke to her heart.  

Here’s the bottom line: Rejection is painful, but God will get you through it if you’ll let Him.

Put your writing out there.

Submit even if rejection hurts.

In the movie “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past,” famous photographer and womanizer Connor Mead is a Scrooge-like character in dire need of transformation. After ruining his little brother’s wedding weekend, he tries to keep the bride-to-be from running away: “It doesn't mean that you're never going to get hurt, but the pain you feel will never compare to the regret that comes from walking away from love. And from someone who's felt a lot of both, trust me, pain beats regret every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Don't run away. Don't do it.”

Don’t walk away from love. Don’t walk away from writing. Don’t walk away from trusting God’s calling. Pain beats regret. Submit.

And I’ll suggest something even better…

Have a healthier relationship with the pain of rejection.

Remember the story of Jacob wrestling with God in Genesis 32?

What does God do before blessing Jacob (self-reliant, self-seeking) and naming him Israel (prince, powerful with God)? God touches the hollow of Jacob’s thigh. The hollow of Jacob’s thigh was now out of joint. Jacob would be forever weakened by that injury. God saps strength out of Jacob. He breaks Jacob of Jacob.

God grew him by making him weak. He grew Peter by making him weak (let the devil sift him as wheat). He grew Paul by making him weak (didn’t remove the thorn in the flesh).

What does God tell Paul about the thorn in the flesh? “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” How does Paul respond? “Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Our trials are making us weak and loosening us from the shackles of self-reliance that are holding us back.

We don’t have to despair. Cast yourself at His feet and acknowledge that you can’t do this on your own. He already knows. He wants you to know.

Let’s look at rejections in the proper light.

In light of Jacob’s story (and Peter’s and Paul’s), we can conclude that being weakened is good, so the next time we receive an email from an agent or editor, no matter what it says, it's good news. Either our dream is about to come true, or God is about to make us weaker, thereby freeing us from self-reliance more and taking us closer to a yes through His power.

One is more Facebookable than the other (sigh), but it’s all good news.

Here’s what I’m going to do. Before opening the next agent or editor email, I’ll walk away from the computer and get my mind wrapped around God’s truths and methods first. Then I’ll open the email.

Do you want to do the same thing? If yes, commit to it right now.

If you would like to worship with Sara Evans and “Just a Closer Walk with Thee” click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qW3yMJhhkTI

Do you have a different healthy way of dealing with rejection? What is it? Did you quit at some point? Are you there now? Let us encourage you today.

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Patricia Beal is a Christian author, Army wife, and ballerina. She writes contemporary fiction and is represented by Leslie Stobbe of the Leslie H. Stobbe Literary Agency. She’s a 2015 Genesis semi-finalist. She graduated magna cum laude from the University of Cincinnati in 1998 with a B.A. in English Literature and then worked as a public affairs officer for the U.S. Army for seven years. She and her husband live in El Paso, Texas, with their two children.

Patricia is very active online and would love to connect with readers.

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/patricia.beal.author

Twitter - https://twitter.com/bealpat

Web - www.patriciabeal.com

Rejection: Rooting Out the Lies and Replacing them with Truth

Gualberto107 from freedigitalphotos.net

My inspiration for this series is Charles Stanley's Emotions and a fabulous study of Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst, along with over 40,000 other women. Both of these resources have helped further cement the need for more of the "capital T" Truth in my life.
 Do you believe any lies in your writing life?

How do we inspect these lies and replace them with truth?

We need a thorough grounding in God's word  until the lies begin to lose their power.

Lysa TerKeurst says, "The more we operate in the truth of who we are and the reality that we were made for more, the closer to God we'll become."

You open up your inbox to find only deep disappointment. Perhaps (if you're lucky) its the "golden ticket" of rejection letters filled with helpful information to help grow your story. Maybe its a form letter. Or maybe you don't hear anything at all...and as the days, weeks, months go by...the kernel of hope inside you shrivels.

Perhaps for a moment, or a day or two...or maybe even longer...you forget about your True Source of Hope. You let the barrage of words drown out the One who is the Word whispering in your ear even in the midst of your doubts.

Have you bought into any of these lies?

Lie: I just wasted a whole bunch of time on this story, and its worthless.

TRUTH: Allen Arnold wrote a wonderful post for the Alley here about how writing is dancing with our father. It is never a waste.

Luke 19:11-27 the parable of the talents asks us what are we doing with the spiritual gifts he has given us. Even though writing isn't listed as a spiritual gift in the Bible it is a gift to be used for his purpose in the body. It would be wasteful not to be writing. God has put this desire in you.


Lie: Maybe I'm not meant to write.

TRUTH: Ashley posted this quote on facebook just today and it is worth repeating.

"The things you are PASSIONATE about are not random, they are your CALLING." -Fabienne Fredrickson

Do you love to write? There's your answer. I don't think you would be here if you didn't.

Lie: My writing isn't going anywhere. Its not influencing anyone.

TRUTH: Even if you think your writing has not affected anyone else, it has probably changed your own heart in ways you haven't even realized. God uses our ministry as a gift to minister to us what we most need: conviction, encouragement, sharpening, a sense of His love and hope.

Perhaps your writing is not meant to change and move the masses...right now. Perhaps not ever. Are you OK with that thought? God wants you to continue on with him as your guide. If he is calling you to write all you will gain on the journey will be well-worth it no matter what the outcome. Because you will grow closer to your Heavenly Father in the process.

Lie: Justifying the criticism in the rejection

TRUTH: We need to accept the areas where we need growth, even when it hurts. Almost all criticism has a valid component, so take from it the stone of wisdom to put in your pocket.

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. -Philippians 3:12

This is one of my favorite Bible verses because it encourages me to press on in all that I do. Not because God needs our writing or anything else we can give. But because I want to be my best for him in all I do so it will be a witness to others of the hope that is within me.

Your acceptance of criticism and responding with a note of appreciation will help you grow. We need to surrender the areas of our writing that need growth instead of being prideful of what we have obtained so far and allowing ourselves to stagnate.

Take each comment and turn it into a practical application.

For instance, I need to grow in my grammar. I will study a high school grammar textbook weekly and apply what I've learned about sentence structure and punctuation.

Positive action steps might include: attending a conference, seeking out someone who is better than me in a particular area of writing (and isn't mentoring a benefit for all areas of life as well?) and humbling myself to ask for their help, reading a book on writing, or even putting aside the money for professional advice.

Lie: My worth lies in what someone else thinks.

TRUTH: People pleasing is a lie that can saturate us in many areas of our life. Because we have not let the truth infiltrate and overflow that God has made us for His own pleasure. We hear so much about the audience of One, but are we really only singing for him? Are we allowing his whispers to drown out in the possibility of other's applause?

Romans 8:31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

If God is for you, how does that speak into all these lies?

If God loves you with a love that is shouted out through nature's beauty and whispered in our moments of despair, how can we allow any room for these tiny thorns of lies that spring up in our minds and hearts?



Are there any lies of rejection you've heard whispered from the enemy, in your writing life or any other aspect of life? Share any that I missed.

Do you have favorite scripture you meditate on to speak truth into your writing life?

Julia writes contemporary fiction to mirror truth. A former assistant librarian, she now channels her card cataloguing skills into homeschooling her elementary aged littles and writing for Library Journal. She has reviewed for a variety of websites for several years.

Dealing with Rejection, Envy and Other Not-So-Fun Writer Emotions

I was planning to write this post on Downton Abbey, but I'm feeling rather disenchanted (give me one good reason not to give up on it...and if you tell me a new suitor for Mary I'm going to scream).

However, as we've been going viral in this household (and I don't mean in a marketing kind of way) I've had more time than usual to read.

Charles Stanley ministries offered me the opportunity to review his new book entitled Emotions. With main topics such as rejection, envy, and discouragement I almost immediately saw parallels to the writing life and some of the emotions we deal with in this ministry. In the next few posts I would like to share some things I've learned from Stanley's book.

"God created you and me with the capacity to experience the full gamut of emotions so we could enjoy life, share our inner being with others and reflect his image. They were given to us as a gift so we can interact meaningfully with our heavenly father and the people we know." (Chapter 1, Emotions by Charles Stanley).

What a great thought not only for our own emotions, but also with our characters. We want them to have the full gamut of emotions and if we hold back emotion in our own life, how can we write rich characters that will minister to others.

Stanley says, "God knows you perfectly, sees your scars, and fully understands the reason you react to situations the way you do." (Chapter 1, Emotions).

How can we think we know the right plan for our own lives? Do we really understand God's timing in those rejection letters? Or when he asks us to place our writing career on hold to raise our children or work overtime to help pay the bills? Proverbs 16:25 says the way man thinks is right leads to death. We have no knowledge of what is right apart from asking for his wisdom.

But the Lord cares deeply about your wounds, every small and large concern on your heart. When we're brokenhearted the Lord delights to heal us and to bind our wounds. What is your wound? The thirtieth rejection letter? Envy for a writing friend who has received rewards? We cover over our envy and it is not healed. Bring it to the Lord, He can handle your honest outpouring of emotion.

Then Stanley advises we can ask the Lord to change any wrong areas of thinking. Our hearts are so dark we often don't even know what they are so we ask the Lord search me and know my heart. Show me if there is any unclean thing in me. (Psalm 26:2-3)

What are the most painful experiences in your writing life?

 Do you have any wounds that remain from them?

 Are there bare emotions exposed when you think of these things?

The wounds are often deeper than we realize, we need the Lord to show us even the depth of them.

What messages  about yourself do you struggle with as a result?

Lately I've had a very hard time sharing my work with the critique group I belong to, often making excuses. The work isn't polished enough. This is my first draft (which is often true, but you get the picture). The truth is I have a pride problem. I make excuses to cover that up. I will grow at my own rate and in the Lord's timing.

What lies do we believe about ourselves, spiritual lies that affect our writing life? Have we accepted the lie that the opinions of our agent, a potential editor, or a critique mean more than God? (We do need to gracefully accept criticism and allow it to change our writing, but I mean something deeper. We can NOT allow it to change how we see our identity, which is never changing. Stanley suggests studying the book of Ephesians and internalizing what God says about us as believers.

Or perhaps we've accepted the lie that we want to be published RIGHT now only so God can use us. God can and will use you right where you are. Don't despise small beginnings. Be willing to humble yourself to allow God to use your writing, even if its not in a way you expect. Last year, writing prayers for a prayer team of 10-12 ladies blessed me far more than writing an article that went to 60,000 libraries. The fruit may not come where you expect or when you expect. The gift fully belongs to God so be willing to let him use it in a way that may seem strange to you. Be willing to be invisible in using your gift for him.

In Chapter 2, Stanley discusses God's purpose for our emotions.

When we feel rejection or fear of the future we are often wrestling with wounds caused by other losses we've faced. Will God fail to supply all we need. He has given us everything we need for life and godliness.

What other wound might you struggle with here, that goes beyond your writing life? Does our next novel need to be published this year so we can provide for our family? No, God is going to supply all we need. Our Jehovah Jireh.

Why do we focus on our disappointments rather than our joys? Spend some time journaling about what God has done in your writing life. How has he shown himself faithful? Then spend some time journaling about what he has done in your life as a whole.

Stanley talks about the fact that if we don't follow we'll always wonder what God could have done through us.

What are some gifts of rejection? They help us realize that our writing gift is only from Him and He is fully in charge of it.

Rejection helps us realize how much we need God. During trials we are apt to pull closer and closer to him.

Furthermore, it helps us to be more aware of our heavenly calling. We remember what the important things are in life, the eternal things. We have acceptance of God through Jesus Christ's shed blood if we are believers. What can the rejection of man do to us? It helps us to realize where we may be idolizing man's opinion above God's.

What about other's successes? Our emotions help us to weep with others, they can also help us rejoice with others. We all have positive experiences we can draw on to help us empathize with other's success. What gift of rejoicing can you bring based on your own life?

Acknowledge what you are feeling. Don't be afraid to give a name to envy, jealousy, pride, bitterness, or other emotions. We need to get in our prayer closet. God has everything we need to deal with these emotions.

What is helping us to deal with rejection and feelings of inadequacy? God alone, or do we look for something else. Its not wrong to drink a mocha, buy a new sweater, or eat a piece of chocolate cake perse but are we bandaging a wound that is meant to be fully healed by God. I admit I struggle with this. These last few months, but those treats don't fill me for long. Not where it matters. They instead leave an empty spot.

**Thank you to Howard Books and Charles Stanley ministries for sending me an ebook. The opinions enclosed are my honest thoughts. If you are interested in reading, here's a link to Emotions by Charles Stanley. **

Do you have verses that have helped you when you have gone through difficult times in your writing life?

Julia writes contemporary fiction to mirror truth. A former assistant librarian, she now channels her card cataloguing skills into homeschooling her elementary aged littles and writes for Library Journal. She has reviewed for a number of websites for several years.

‘Tis the season for rejections…

About this time of year… with conference several weeks behind us, the press of the holidays approaching, we often find ourselves in a season that, for a lot of us, might not be so fun. Rejection season.

You labored over every word, dotted every i, crossed every t until your eyes took the same position. And then you held your breath, crossed your fingers, and launched your dream on one giant prayer as you pressed SEND.

Well, send isn’t exactly the end of the line, now is it? Sometimes it feels that way when the silence is so deafening you’d crave a rejection if it meant you’d hear something… anything from the great black void of editors and agents who supposedly have your precious pages.

But then, if your lucky (or some might say otherwise) the waiting ends, and the results come in, and… Splat! Someone press the life-assist button because my mutilated heart is now flat-lining on the floor with my crushed dreams.

Oh, we all like to pretend we’ve developed that tough skin, impenetrable by cutting words, but deep down, if your dream is as big as you claim it is, ooo, those words sure do sting!

Now, feedback, if you get it, can be extremely useful. And not just for unseasoned writers. This is why writers enter contests… sure, we’d like to win, but very often the critique you get from the judges is worth the price of that degrading score.

Sometimes it’s not.

Since you’ll never win over everyone—let’s face it, even NYT Bestsellers get bad reviews--how do you know what feedback to take to heart, and what to let roll off?

I wish the answer was simple. Subjectivity is the name of the game. But for me, I think it’s important to establish what your strengths and weaknesses are as a writer. Work with a crit partner, compile those comments from judges, agents, and editors, and give yourself a baseline. You might be a unique word-smith, describing things in such a way that stirs your reader’s senses. You might have a strong command of language and grammar, keeping a tight and organized flow that provides a seamless read. Or perhaps you struggle with the technicalities but you can pen an unstoppable plot that carries the reader away in spite of the less than fancy words.

Then take an honest look at the criticisms, but don’t let them tear you apart. Remember, these are OPINIONS. All stories can be improved with wise direction, but don’t forget that it’s your story, and YOU alone get to tell it. But at the same time, don’t be so hardheaded that you refute any negative feedback. It’s as important to determine your strengths to build confidence, as it is to acknowledge where you have room to grow.

So, since I’m feeling a little bit jolly and hope to keep my spirits up for the holidays, here are my recommendations for weathering REJECTION season:

--Read your rejection letter, perhaps a couple times, and then put it away until tomorrow.

Our emotions get the best of us in the heat of the moment. Our hopes are riding high, that email drops in our inbox, you’re thinking “This could be it!” and instead of a glowing report, they knock you down a few pegs. Take a breather, sometimes what seems so harsh at first glance can be seen with a more critical eye once the smoke clears. 

--Make notes on what feedback is positive and what is negative.

Use columns if you have to. Then compare the criticism to what you already know about your abilities as a writer. Was this one agent or editor’s opinion consistent with your general consensus of strengths and weaknesses, or might they be someone who just isn’t the right fit for you? You can’t please everyone, so before you go hacking at those hard fought words, determine what will reinforce and strengthen the story you were given and what simply doesn’t mesh with your style and purpose.

--Get a kick-a crit partner who will shoot it to you straight.

This is a biggie, so be choosy if you can! So much of our time is spent silently in our heads or on paper. This is why I read my stories aloud to myself so I can gain some perspective as to how my thoughts translate into real world dialogue and understanding. But at the same time, you will not be able to see what others see. Before you subject yourself to those big glaring “PASS’s” from that dream publisher, get some more eyes on your work. Listen with a critical ear. Weight those suggestions with as little emotion as possible. And don’t just look for someone who will read through and tell you they loved it. They had to have had a thought to the contrary since they weren’t the one who wrote the book.

My crit partner can attest to the fact that if I’m gonna take the time to critique, I’m gonna give ALL of my insights straight up. Now, that doesn’t just mean tearing the book to shreds or being cruel… though I have been known to wield a deadly weapon… it also means explaining what you liked. What made you laugh, cry, what sucked you in or made you fall in love with a character. Strengths and weaknesses here. We all have them both. ** Critical information for weathering those rejections. ** 

--Believe in yourself despite the downpour.

Remember all those stories about the bestseller that collected a stack of rejections before making it big? Don’t let the negative voices drown out what you have to say. You’re story is important. It was given to you for a reason. Don’t get so singularly focused on publication that you lose sight of the joy of creating story. What a beautiful gift… whether it’s meant to be shared with the world or not is sort of out of our hands. Do what you can, write the best story possible, be open to improvement, but don’t let the rejection define you.  

Chin up! God’s got a plan!

What about you… What have you confirmed are your strengths and weaknesses? And how do you stay afloat when those rejections come back and rock your boat? 

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Amy Leigh Simpson writes Romantic Suspense that is heavy on the romance, unapologetically honest, laced with sass and humor, and full of the unfathomable Grace of God. She is the completely sleep deprived mama to two little tow-headed mischief makers and wife to her very own swoon-worthy hero. Represented by the oh-so-wise and dashing Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary Inc.

Sarah's Laugh

Has God ever spoken something to you that you had a hard time believing? Or maybe you believed it once, but as time has gone on, that promise has seemed to flicker and fade?

Seems so much of a writer's life is spent waiting. We wait for clarity, for direction. Then we wait for feedback. We get rejections, so we change our stories. We study and grow in the craft. And then we wait to see if we're yet ready, hoping with baited breath that this will finally, finally be our time.

Can you relate?

Sometimes, in the midst of all that waiting, doubt begins to creep in. We don't always even know that's what's going on. Maybe it's one particular comment a contest judge made, or even a friend. Maybe those around you seem to be making leaps and bounds of progress in their writing journey, meanwhile, you're where you feel like you've always been... waiting.

It can be so hard to hear God's voice in what feels like silence. Have you ever searched, longing for direction, for even a whisper of clarity, and felt like God was hiding out?

Often, I think we shortchange the work of God in our lives. When something seems to be fizzling out, we're quick to get discouraged and leave that project or calling behind, instead of pushing through to the higher purpose God has for our lives. Or, if we do push through, we do so with heavy discouragement and hunched shoulders, filled with doubt and self-consciousness rather than standing strong.

This week, I was reading the story of God's promise to Abraham and Sarah. First, God tells Abraham (then Abram) that he's going to be the father of many nations and richly blessed. Abraham says God must mean He's going to make one of Abraham's servants an heir, to which God says, no--the heir is going to come from Abraham's own bloodline. Already, Abraham's insecurities begin to crop up. He has trouble stepping out in faith because he can't see past the obstacles he's constructed in his own perception.

Then Sarah comes up with a plan. She tells Abraham to have a child with her maidservant because she herself is too old to bear children (a situation which, by the way, God still redeems--meeting Hagar right at the point of her need).

You would think this would give God reason to go back on the deal. But instead, what does He say? He comes to Abraham years down the road--Abraham is now 99--and reaffirms He is going to establish an "everlasting covenant" with Abraham and his descendants. I don't know about you, but this story brings me peace that God does not forget the promises He has declared in our lives, even if we mess up along the way.

Later, three men--an image, I would say, of the trinity--appear before Abraham, and they ask him where his wife Sarah is. He tells them Sarah is inside the tent. This is what follows:

"Then the Lord said, 'I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.'
Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was well past the age of childbearing. So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, 'After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?'
Then the Lord said to Abraham, 'Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?' Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son.'
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, 'I did not laugh.'
But he said, 'Yes, you did laugh.'"
-- Genesis 18:10-15


How many times do we, like Sarah, struggle to believe the promises of the Lord in our lives? How many times do we go as far as laughing at them, then reminding God all the reasons we can't do what He says we will? Think of Moses, struggling with the idea of leading the people of Israel. This concept isn't a new one, even in Biblical times.


When we fail to believe in our ability to carry out the promise of God in our lives, we fail to step into our calling. Like Sarah, we shift our focus from the "could be" to the current obstacles we're facing.



Maybe your doubts are not stemming from feeling too old and dried up. Maybe it's just the opposite. Maybe, like Moses, you feel unqualified. Maybe you've received some harsh feedback that you've taken to heart, and now you doubt your ability to convey emotion on the page, to be vulnerable, to even hear the word of God in your life. Maybe tough circumstances have left you feeling emotionally paralyzed. Maybe you've grown so tired of getting rejections that you just feel like giving up.



I have news for you. Sarah was 90 when she had her first child.

God is a faithful and just God, who will fulfill the promises He has spoken over our lives.

It may take one day, or it may take a hundred years. But that makes no difference. God made a mighty nation out of Abraham's descendants, more numerous than the stars. He didn't give up on Sarah, even when she doubted His word. And He won't give up on you. Keep keeping on. One day, you're going to see the fulfillment of His promise--and just imagine what a glorious day that will be.

Do you struggle with doubt over being a writer? (Don't we all?!) When do you find this doubt hits the hardest? How do you keep it from entangling you and distracting you from your calling?

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Ashley Clark writes romance with southern grace. She's dreamed of being a writer ever since the thumbprint-cookie-days of library story hour. Ashley has an M.A. in English and enjoys teaching literature courses at her local university. She's an active member of ACFW and runs their newcomer's loop. When she's not writing, Ashley's usually busy rescuing stray animals and finding charming new towns. You can find Ashley on her personal blog, Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. She is represented by Karen Solem.