Elevator Pitch. Anytime. Anywhere.

#TipfulTuesday

No matter where you go or who you speak with, always, always be ready to give an elevator pitch.

An elevator pitch is:

*what your story is about

*three to four sentences NO MORE

*30 to 45 seconds long NO MORE

*intriguing

*inviting

*dangling-so the listener wants to hear more

*passionate

*spoken with the voice of a captain of the ship--because you as the author ARE. Confidence! Assured! 

Some of you will be going to the ACFW conference and have an excellent opportunity to give an elevator pitch to an agent or editor. This moment is not the time to own any introvert characteristics. Be proud of your work. Think of your MC. Their trials and triumphs. Share what God has helped you write. Shoulders back. Sit or stand straight. You've got this.

I am also here to proclaim there are a gabillion other times when you can say an elevator pitch. Hmmm. You don't think so? Well...rolling up sleeves. Here we go.

I recently went on a cruise down the Rhine River in Germany. I met people from so many countries. They are my new friends. When we meet people, there are typical questions asked: What is your name? Where are you from? and What do you do? My answer to number three: I am an author, or I am a writer.

Ours is one of the few careers that solicits more questions. "You're an author? Really? Do you write books?" This is the point where we answer, "Yes, I finished this book called _____ and it's about ... insert elevator pitch..." The total time answer: less than 30 seconds.

The fabulous bonus to this opportunity is: there probably will be more than one individual standing nearby listening. On that seven-day cruise, I gave my elevator speech at the meal table, in the hall, in the lounge, on the bus, walking in courtyards and marketplaces, and much more. Every single time the person raised their eyebrows and asked for more information. I gave out over 200 business cards, each with my tagline, a list of my books on Amazon, website, email address, and my photo with an image that looks like me ...very important.

Okay, you may think I am an extrovert. I went out and blabbed my head off about my book, stealing the conversation from others, dominating the meeting. LOL! Nope. I am so the opposite. I am the mouse in the corner. Hubby and I like to travel. This is where I meet people and am given the opportunity to run through the usual greeting questions that lead to: What do you do? My cue to give an elevator pitch.

Here are a few more ingredients:

**Do not memorize. Do not memorize. Do not memorize.

I have taught third grade and could always tell who memorized the spelling list and who learned how to spell the words by sound applying the concept. Those who memorized made silly mistakes. Spelled the words correctly only on the test but not in their work. The difference was obvious. 

Memorized pitches are jagged. A forgotten next word can trip up the who presentation. Feel your story then share.

**Beginning, middle, end components are not necessary. The point is to stimulate an interest in your story in a few seconds.

Choose pieces of your story that you'd like to present. It's okay to have more than one pitch ready. This gives you flexibility. One time you may focus on the MC, another the villain, or the hero, or the plot, or the setting. So many choices! Practice with your pet, he or she will love each version. Fill your message with intrigue, passion, heart, not with a goal to be word perfect. Say it as if telling your childhood friend is standing there excited to hear about your work.

Honestly, the editors and agents will be excited. They long to hear intriguing, inviting, dangling, passionate, stimulating story pitches.

And, people you meet in life feel the same. Authors who sell many books have this skill mastered. They radiate enthusiasm for their story. If you go to ACFW this year, watch Steven James. 

Whoa, I've taken up a lot of your time today. I hope this has helped you. Do you have any questions?

~Mary Vee

#TipfulTuesday #TheWritersAlley #amwriting #elevatorpitch #conference #sharingyourstory

Photo by Mary Vee, Taken near Amsterdam, Netherlands

Mary Vee -  Mary Vee - Rock climbing, white-water rafting, and hiking top Mary’s list of ways to enjoy a day. She was homeless for a time, earned her MA in Counseling, and married an Air Force vet.  Mary has been a finalist in several writing contests and writes for her King.

Visit Mary at her website, blog, and her ministry blog to families: God Loves Kids. Or chat on Facebook or Twitter

Mary's new release, Daring to Live, is a new release on Amazon.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION

A Pitch to Build a Book On

Contest and Conference season is closing in and one of the main things we learn as budding or published authors is ‘the pitch’.

First of all, what IS a pitch?

Well….very loosely, it’s the best pick-up line for an agent or editor.

You’re trying to win them woo them with your story J

For a perfect pick-up line, what do you need?

Here are a few of my ideas – and I hope you all can add some more to the mix J

You’re serious about your story

Lots of people can come up with a story idea, but very few end of writing a book. When you write a pitch, you want to have enough of the story written to show you’re serious. If you’re an unpublished author, you need to have the entire book completed. That in and of itself shows seriousness.

If you’re a published author, your pitch should be strong enough to show you’re committed to the story. I prefer having a solid outline for the book before I pitch it, or at least a sure grasp on my characters’ motivations.

Your concept is clear and interesting

A pitch gives a clear (and succinct) heart of your story. I’m writing a new novel series and just finished working on a proposal for it. Here’s the pitch:

A small town tea shop owner with a sweet-tooth and a devil-may-care Englishman with more savory tastes join forces to cater an England-themed wedding.

A wedding planner with dramatic flair and country charm teams up with an aloof undercover prince to create a fairytale wedding for her best friend.

He’s trying to find a hero within and she’s pretty sure it’s a lost cause, but sparks are sure to fly when this opinionated country girl and an arrogant city boy team up to save a children’s clinic from bankruptcy.

A young inventor who chooses crime fighting instead of matrimony and a handsome detective trying to prove his worth team up to stop the illusive Jack the Ripper before someone they love becomes his next victim.

In these, I HOPE I’ve established a few things.

1.       A little hint of the hero and heroine’s personalities

2.       Possible conflict

3.       Uniqueness of the story

So, how about you try?

                You need a hero (and if it’s a romance you need a hero and heroine)

                                                A little personality touch

                                                                A purpose

                                                                                And a twist

How about you? Share your pitches OR share your tips for pitch writing!

The Perfect Pitch: Hook, Line, and Sinker

In a lot of ways pitching your book is like fishing, casting a line and hoping for some bites. Okay, let’s be honest, we’re not really looking for bites so much as we want to hook a BIG FISH!

 

But if you’ve ever gone fishing you know that it’s not always as easy as it seems.

Whether your six-pound bass is that superstar agent or your dream publisher, you’ve got to go in with a game plan because we all know when we start talking about our book, well . . . lets just say we have a tendency to ramble. And with so much pressure and competition, and very little time to cast the lure, how can you be concise and still utterly unforgettable that ten minutes will have your big fish catching the vision?

Here are a few tips on how to make a splash:

1. Prepare your tackle box in advance.

Do your research on all those fish and go in armed with knowledge. Read their bio. Know what they are looking for. Who they represent.

If it’s an agent, read their blog, get a feel for their personality so you know how best to present your story. Mention things you like or respect about their blog or their authors so they are confident your meeting was intentional and not a blind cast with the wrong bait.

If it’s an editor, research the author’s they’ve worked with, better yet, read some of the books they’ve edited. Then you’ll have a point of reference.

Be armed with sample chapters, a one sheet, a business card, and a short synopsis, just in case they want a nibble. Be prepared.

2. Be some tasty bait.

We know underneath that squirmy worm or flashy spinner there is a nice sharp hook. We’ll get to that in a minute. What I’m talking about here is the thing that gets them swimming along a bit faster, tempts their mouth to start chomping.

So, how’s your presentation? Have you rehearsed your elevator pitch--in front of a mirror, then in front of another human being? Do you sound robotic or conversational? Have you considered what types of questions they might ask you and how you might respond? You won’t be doing all the talking, so are you prepared to answer questions about your story?

Have you chosen an outfit that is both professional and portrays your style? Your personality will be something that is slathered (in one way or another) on every page of your novel as if imbedded with your fingerprints. But before they crack open your pages (if they ever do) YOU are the open book they get to read first. You wouldn’t show up to a job interview in your Thanksgiving pants, a wrinkled shirt, and with bed head, would you? As much as we hate it to be true, our first impressions are generally visual—Ahem! We all sometimes judge a book by its cover. Moral of the story here: Don’t wear something that makes you look like everyone else. Wear something that looks like you! The best version of YOU you can put forth. Something that makes you feel confident, and just as unique as your story they should publish!

Smile! This one seems so elementary but when we get nervous, often times our baser instincts skip town faster than the pitch that just flew out of our head while standing in the elevator with Agent X. Take a deep breath, remember the joy of writing your story, think of how your book could touch the lives of so many readers, and waltz in with that enthusiasm.

Make eye contact. Don’t be that weird introverted writer that only converses with imaginary people. J Sometimes these things don’t come naturally. Don’t panic. Agents and editors are people with nerves and flaws and feelings just like you. Take a deep breath, look into those beady fish eyes, give them a firm finn-shake, a smile, and a cordial introduction. See that, you are some tasty bait! All those fish will be circling.

-Hook ‘em!

Writing a book is no easy task. Boiling it all down to a few compelling and eloquent sentences is even harder! You may have written a great story, but even if it’s there, you may struggle to figure out exactly what the hook is. (Read Ashley’s post yesterday for some great hook tips!)

Your story might be a romance, but there’s definitely more to it than that. Think about your main conflict and how it relates to some kind of irony. For example: A woman running from the law under an assumed identity falls in love with an undercover cop. Your hook lies within those parameters. Then think about the theme of your story. Is it redemption, forgiveness? Does the main character have a hobby or passion that characterizes the way they think or act on the page? Draw those words out and weave them into your hook. That way you will not only get a sense of the plot, and conflict, but a sense of the “feel” and takeaway as well.

If you’re still drawing a blank, start with a story question. Beth Vogt is great with these! For Wish You Were Here the question was something like…Can the wrong kiss lead to Mr. Right? Use yours as a spring board to toy with hook ideas.

Alright your turn! Anything to add? What are your greatest fears about pitching? Your greatest pitfalls? Need some help? Let’s get you ready to reel ‘em in! Cast a question, the lines are open!

Preparing the Perfect Pitch

Be honest. In the middle of the night, during conference season, you've had nightmares of Chip MacGregor telling you he thinks your concept is totally dull and an impossible sell. Nooooo....

Face-to-face rejection. It's every writer's worst nightmare.

I vividly remember my first pitch. It was the 2010 ACFW conference, and I had an appointment with Ami McConnell. Yes, I've always had lofty aspirations. My appointment was the first one after lunch, and I made a point to leave lunch early to join the line of other panic-striken writers. Suddenly the ability to even remember your name had become an asset. "What do you write?" One of us would ask each other. "Who are you pitching to?" The answers were different, but the look in the eyes was (and is) always the same. I like to describe it as that feeling you got waiting outside the principal's office. Even if you knew you had done nothing wrong, he would find something. The assumption was, these people are waiting for us to fail.

That's problem #1.

Editors and agents do not want to see you mentally and socially flailing. Well, at least most of them don't. Just kidding! Remember that these people are in the book business. And the book business doesn't work too well without authors. There's no reason to be afraid. You're looking to enter into a partnership. That's all there is to it. I know it feels like they have your every dream in the palm of their hands, but really, those are in God's. And He has a much better idea who your book will best fit with anyway.

With that in mind, I've created three lists of three things that should help you get your pitch prepared for conference season. I hope you find them helpful!

3 Things to Do Before You Leave Home:

• Research. Nothing is more embarrassing than pitching your YA manuscript to a publishing house that is currently only buying Amish historicals. And believe me, editors don't like this. If you were them, would you? Do research on your target editors and agents before you leave so that your pitch comes across as intentional. Even just browsing through a publishing house's website and reading a couple of their books can go a long way.
• Practice in front of a mirror. Yes, I know this makes you feel silly. You will feel even more ridiculous if the first time you pitch is in front of your dream editor.
• Reread your book. If the appointment goes well, an editor or agent is likely to ask you more about the story, but there's no way to really predict what they will ask. In order to keep your answers as natural and eloquent-sounding as possible, before you leave, take note of your major plot points. If someone were to ask you about the major conflicts in the novel, the dark moment, or the character arc, would you be able to answer? What if they asked you what you ultimately hope readers will get out of your book? Why you are a good fit for their publishing house? If you are prepared, your answers to these questions can make you seem golden. 

3 Things to Do During Your Appointment:

• Be professional. Oh my goodness, I am always amazed by how many people ignore this one. You should treat your appointments as if they are a job interview, because--let's face it, they are. That means even if the appointment does not go as you'd hoped, you still have an opportunity to leave a good impression. Next year's conference might seem like a long time away now, but next year, you'll wish you hadn't burned a bridge.
• Take a deep breath and introduce yourself. Jumping into your pitch and rattling it off like a 10th grade oral book report project is not a good strategy. You want your appointment to be a conversation, a chance to get to know an editor or agent. Slow down, introduce yourself and maybe even tell them what you write or offer a one sheet before you jump into your longer pitch. Otherwise it's too much for them to process.
• Take cues from the editor or agent with whom you are speaking. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and politely tried to end it with nonverbal cues, only to have that person continue talking about themselves with no end in sight? Don't be that person in your appointments. Give the editor or agent a chance to think and ask you questions. Remember that your book idea is new to them. They need at least a few seconds to process it.

3 Things Your Pitch Should Include:

• Goals/forward motion. This can be anything from a new job to a heroic quest to save a princess, but it should be clear what your main character is working toward.
• Conflict. Conflict is usually the most interesting part of the story, so this is your chance to really "pack a punch" so to speak, with your pitch. Be sure you are very clear what your character has working against her, and don't shy away from using external conflict. "She feels hesitant about dating him," is not a strong enough conflict to sustain a book-long project. "He put a restraining order against her because he thinks she's stalking his children" is a different story. Got your attention, didn't it? (Side note: if any of you have written stalker romances, my apologies.)
• A compelling hook, using your writing voice. You need a wham! moment to stand out amongst the hundreds of other pitches these people have to hear throughout the day. Sometimes using a question works well. Other times it's just in the phrasing. I would recommend having someone you trust, like your critique partner, work with you on this. Ideally, you want your wham! moment to correspond with your biggest source of conflict. And even beyond that, be sure it reflects your voice. This is the first chance you get to showcase your writing voice, so make it memorable.

You also want to remember to keep these short. It's a good idea to develop both a short pitch and a longer pitch. And when I say "short pitch," I mean short. We're talking, 7 words, ideally. Your longer pitch should be around 3 or 4 sentences. The short pitch should be just long enough to really catch their attention, and then the longer pitch develops the main conflict a bit more. But even the long pitch should not tell your whole story.

What you want to happen in an ideal situation is for your short pitch to lead to your long pitch, which then leads to a one sheet or even a proposal request, and then to your book.

A note on pitching etiquette: Sometimes it can be hard to determine when it is and is not socially acceptable to pitch. Generally, most people tend toward one side or the other. If you're an introvert, you might have to get a little out of your comfort zone. If you are an extravert, you may need to tone it down a little. Remember that editors and agents are human, which means they all have different preferences and moods. If someone is on their cell phone engrossed in what looks like a very serious conversation, or an agent is having a one-on-one with one of their authors, please do not interrupt them. It's considered rude and will really work against you in the end.

That said, on the other hand, agents and editors know you have come to the conference to pitch to them, and some will deliberately hang out in public areas so they can get to know potential authors and clients. In some cases, it can bode well if you recognize your dream editor or agent because it shows you have done your research. You've paid a lot of money and put a lot of effort to come to this conference, so if a good opportunity presents itself and seems like it may even be a God-thing (i.e. you end up on the elevator at the same time), it may be best to seize the chance while you have it.

Here's a normal way to have that conversation: "Hi, I'm Delilah Dopplerfritz. Aren't you _______?" "Yes, I am. Are you enjoying the conference?" "Yes. I'm glad to run into you because I was hoping to have a chance to pitch to you this weekend. Do you have a minute to hear about my book, or are you in a hurry?" "Sure, tell me about it. But make it quick." (Insert pitch.)

It's always a good idea to ask if they have time to hear your pitch if you're not in a formal setting like an appointment or their appointed lunch table. And if they say they don't have time, don't be offended. It's not you. They are busy people!

Above all else, be yourself. You are selling yourself as an author just as much as you are selling your book. Remember that, and it will be easier. 

Your turn! Do you have any pitching advice or funny stories to share? Do you have a pitch you would like input on? Feel free to share it and get the group's feedback!

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Ashley Clark writes romantic comedy with southern grace. She's dreamed of being a writer ever since the thumbprint-cookie-days of library story hour. Ashley has an M.A. in English and enjoys teaching literature courses at her local university. She's an active member of ACFW and runs their newcomer's loop. When she's not writing, Ashley's usually busy rescuing stray animals and finding charming new towns. You can find Ashley on her personal blog, Facebook,Pinterest, and Twitter. She is represented by Karen Solem.

A TV Guide Approach to Hooking Your Reader

Ever read those little TV Guide blurbs? When I was little, I used to love flipping the television to the TV Guide channel and watching all the shows scroll past. I think it’s because I’ve always liked to know all my options. :)

Some of those blurbs have made me wonder, “Who wrote this and what in the world were they thinking?” Ever had that moment? Last week I saw a Boy Meets World episode that had recovered on my DVR (yes, I still watch Boy Meets World) and the caption was, “Corey and Eric find lingerie in their mother’s bowling bag.” Seriously? First off, who came up with the idea to make a whole episode out of this? Secondly, please tell me there’s something else going on in the episode! And perhaps most embarrassing of all, I actually remember this episode from when it first aired! So clearly something about it was worth remembering.

A well-crafted blurb will make you tune in to something you would’ve never otherwise considered watching or reading. A cupcake baking marathon under water with only Reese’s pieces, butter and squash as the ingredients? What channel is that on? A reunion of the old ABC Family Night casts? Sign me up! Don’t laugh—you know this has happened to you too!

So how do we use this power of interest to our advantage when it comes to catching the attention of agents, editors, and even, eventually, readers? I’m glad you asked. To help with this question, I’ve made a list of things to ask your book. These should apply to all hooks you might need to craft, whether they be pitches, query letters, or even proposals.

1) What do my characters have to lose? What are they most afraid of? If we’re only reading/hearing one or two sentences, we need a reason to worry about your characters. “A baker is robbed at gunpoint while icing sugar cookies” is a lot more interesting than “a woman pursues her dream of becoming a baker.” Because we all want to know . . . what happened to the cookies?

2) What rhythm, voice, and tone do I want to achieve? One of my favorite examples of this point is Kristin Billerbeck’s Spa Girls Series: “Three Friends. One Spa. And an infinite amount of oversharing.” See how she gets straight to the point with only a few words and how her voice really sparkles? If you’re working on a pitch, query, or proposal, you have a very limited amount of space to show off your unique writing voice. Use every little bit of that space to your advantage! You want to pick words, tones, and rhythms that are “you,” because you’re selling your voice every bit as much as you’re selling your plot.

3) What are the most important elements of my story? Often, editors get a bad rep for being grouchy, but let’s face it—you’d probably be cynical yourself if you were getting thousands of e-mails a day with queries like, “Sandra struggles with a broken ankle on her twenty-third birthday, but when her cousin twice-removed challenges her to a hockey match anyway, she runs into the cute cashier she saw at the grocery store three days before, and sparks fly as he helps her redo her bandage.” When you walk into a library, a book has to prove to you that it’s worth reading, right? Think of your own work in the same way. Pull out only the most important and interesting details. There will be time for all that other stuff later.

What do you think? Do you have any hooks you’re working on that you’d like to share with the group for feedback? Can you come up with some examples of hooks—television or literary—that work well? I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

*Bird photo from http://davidpowersking.blogspot.com/2011/03/aspiring-advice-pay-attention-to.html

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Ashley Clark writes romantic comedy with southern grace. She's dreamed of being a writer ever since the thumbprint-cookie-days of library story time. Ashley has an M.A. in English and enjoys teaching literature courses at her local university. She's an active member of ACFW and runs their newcomer's loop. When she's not writing, Ashley's usually busy rescuing stray animals and finding charming new towns. You can find Ashley on her personal blog and her Tumblr. She's also on Facebook and Twitter. She is represented by Karen Solem.

Conference Pitching: A Nitty Gritty Workshop (Part Two)

If you're headed to the ACFW Conference in a couple weeks, you're probably busy polishing up your manuscripts and your pitches. Two weeks ago, I dissected Alley Cat Angie's elevator pitch--that short blurb for when an editor or agent asks you in passing, "What's your story about?"

If you have an appointment with an editor or agent, however, you may want your pitch to be slightly longer (although some agents and editors still prefer the short pitch in these appointments).

So today I'll do more dissection. I feel like I'm in 10th grade biology with a dead frog staring me down. :-) This time I'll analyze Angie's longer pitch, which doesn't resemble a dead frog in any way.

We worked on her pitch in two waves, so I'll start from the beginning. Here's what she had to start, with my comments interspersed.

Chief Vio has chosen three men to fight for Yana's hand in marriage—savage beasts who assure her nothing short of a life of misery. [Wow, fascinating premise!] But when an unusual crew [I'm unsure what the term "unusual crew" means. Is there another way to phrase?] steps foot in their Amazonian village, her heart begins to beat for the first time at the sight of the coiled-haired [Okay, I'm getting uber-picky here, but "coiled-haired" reads a little awkward to me. I'm wondering if a different description would work...I'm not sure I can picture what coiled hair looks like. Is it curly? Is it a certain color?] man, Andres Garcia. Yana resists her forbidden attraction to Andres, a foreigner in faith and blood [love this phrase!]. Yet when she indulges in her heart's desire [This is sort of broad. What exactly is her heart's desire and how does she indulge in it? Are you talking about falling in love with Andres? If so, I'd maybe state it more clearly.], and admits faith in his God, Yana finds herself trapped between two worlds [How so? I'd love to see you show the stakes here].

Her village's fury is soon kindled by the deceit of the pale-skinned men [I'm a little lost here. Who were the pale-skinned men and how did they deceive the village?], and Yana and Andres find themselves in a dangerous pursuit [Would love to see some specifics here in place of "dangerous pursuit"]. Just as the villagers have reason to claim Andres' head, Yana escapes with him beyond her world. [This feels sort of vague. Is there a short phrase you can use to provide a clear picture of where they go?]

But danger is not lost in the jungle. It waits for the couple, like a jaguar hunts its prey, ready to attack from the hills of Andres' Spanish home. Is Yana's newborn faith strong enough to endure what lies ahead? [Nice ending! You've resisted the urge to spell out the ending of the book, which leaves all the right questions in my mind.] :)

A few weeks later, Angie sent this revised version:

Yana's father, chief of an Amazonian tribe, has chosen three men to fight for her hand in marriage—savage beasts who assure her nothing short of a life of misery. But when a crew of Spanish explorers steps foot in their village, her heart begins to beat for the first time at the sight of the pale-skinned man, Andres Garcia.

Yana struggles with her forbidden attraction to Andres, a foreigner in faith and blood. And when she discovers his commander has crafted a plot to steal the chief's medallion, she must choose between her loyalty to her people and protecting Andres' life. She succumbs to his love and warns Andres about his commander's dangerous pursuit. Disease strikes the village, and Andres and Yana assume the plot is abandoned when the Spanish crew chooses to depart and avoid its spread. They bid farewell in secret. Yana once again faces a future with a ruthless warrior, without love or happiness.

The villager's fury is kindled when the medallion is found missing the morning when the crew sets out. After days of man hunts and deaths from illness, Yana finds Andres upon the road to her village, with the medallion cradled in his hands. Danger is inevitable, even in his noble quest to return the treasure, and Andres must escape to save his life. Yana cannot bear to say goodbye again, and chooses to follow him and His God across the seas.

But danger is not lost in the jungle. It waits for the couple, like a jaguar's eyes upon its prey, ready to attack from the hills of Andres' Spanish home. Is Yana's newborn faith strong enough to endure what lies ahead?

I really liked the clarity that Angie provided in this version, but I felt like she almost went the opposite extreme and got a little too bogged down in the details. I sent her a revised version, in which I condensed about a third of her pitch and jumped straight to the last paragraph (which I loved!).

Yana's father, chief of an Amazonian tribe, has chosen three men to fight for her hand in marriage—savage beasts who assure her nothing short of a life of misery. But when a crew of Spanish explorers steps foot in their village, her heart begins to beat for the first time at the sight of the pale-skinned man, Andres Garcia. Yana struggles with her forbidden attraction to Andres, a foreigner in faith and blood. And when she discovers his commander has crafted a plot to steal the chief's medallion, she must choose between her loyalty to her people and protecting Andres's life.

Disease and threats push Yana and her lover to escape the village in secret, and while Yana cannot bear to say goodbye to her home, she follows Andres and his God across the seas. But danger is not lost in the jungle. It waits for the couple, like a jaguar's eyes upon its prey, ready to attack from the hills of Andres's Spanish home. Is Yana's newborn faith strong enough to endure what lies ahead?

This pitch sets up the conflict and motivation for Yana at the outset--the arranged marriage, followed by foreigners and her attraction, and then the fact that Andres's commander is plotting to steal her father's medallion. Then by scrunching down those other details, we've given a brief glimpse of what the story holds while also leaving a powerful story question at the end. Some editors or agents might prefer that this be trimmed even more, which would allow you to have more of a two-way dialogue in your appointment.

But no matter what she goes with, Angie's job is to practice saying her pitch so many times that she'll sound natural when her mouth goes dry and her knees start knocking against each other. :) I know she'll do great!!!

Are you preparing a pitch for conference? Any questions you have about the changes we made to Angie's pitch? If you're feeling brave, share your pitch with us in the comments!


*Sponge photo by nuchylee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
**Keyboard photo by Gregory Szarkiewicz / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Conference Pitching: A Nitty Gritty Workshop (Part One)

If there's one thing that can make a writer shake until they fall out of their chair, it's the idea of pitching their story to an agent or editor face-to-face. But if you craft a killer pitch before you arrive at a conference, you'll be one step ahead of the game.

A couple months ago, my fellow Alley Cat, Angie, asked for feedback on her elevator pitch and query blurb. And weird old me jumped at the chance. Call me crazy, but I get a kick out of this stuff. Apparently the other Alley Cats found my comments helpful enough that they convinced me to turn it into a blog post. So here we are.

Just to clarify, I'm going to get into the details of wording choices and plot points to emphasize in a pitch, not necessarily how to deliver it effectively in person. So let's get started.

Here's Angie's original elevator pitch along with the comments I sent back to her.

In the Amazon basin in 1546, a tribal chief's daughter dares to love a Spanish explorer, ultimately facing a choice between her heart and her people.

[My comments: I love the unique setting! In general, this description feels a little broad to me. It's really close, but I think you could punch it up an extra notch by giving more specifics. What's her external goal throughout the story? I'd present that first, then tell how this forbidden love inhibits the goal.]

Without knowing her full story, here's the example I developed based on the longer elevator pitch she had also provided.

Desperate to escape a pre-arranged marriage to a savage beast, an Amazonian princess indulges in a forbidden love. But will the Spanish explorer who has captured her heart pull her from her home, only to lead her into a dangerous trap?

In this revised pitch, I changed the following elements to give it more kick.

1) Mentioned the marriage to a savage beast. I did that for a couple reasons. One is to give her motivation and goal in a short snippet, but it also explains the stakes (the phrase "savage beast" has a startling quality to it and gets the listener's attention).

2) Eliminated the need for a phrase describing the setting and time period. By putting the terms "savage beast" and "Spanish explorer" in there, it gives the listener a sense that it's a historical piece in a unique setting, while utilizing every word choice possible to convey the plot.

3) Mentioned the forbidden love. This clearly sets the stage for conflict no matter what she chooses. Instead of saying she's facing a choice between her heart and her people, we've now rephrased it to clearly show that conflict (marriage to a savage beast versus forbidden love with an explorer).

4) Ended the pitch with a question to increase the stakes even more. Now we're not just talking about forbidden love anymore, but forbidden love that could lead to a dangerous trap. (By the way, putting "dangerous trap" at the end is a Margie Lawson technique of backloading...putting a power word or phrase at the end of the sentence to draw the listener in and propel them to want more.) I didn't word that last sentence very well (has lots of "her" in it), but hopefully it gives you an overall sense of where to provide the specifics.

This type of pitch would be effective for those super-short snippets of time when an editor or agent says, "What's your story about?" You'd probably want a slightly longer pitch for a one-on-one appointment. I'll be dissecting that type of pitch in two weeks when I present part two.

Do you have any sort of method you use when developing an elevator pitch? If you're stuck on your elevator pitch or want feedback, share it with us in the comments. We love to brainstorm around here! :)

*Nervous photo by africa / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
**Elevator photo by Gregory Szarkiewicz / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Pitch & Blurb

Jesus was really great at being direct - to the point. Breaking down a big idea, like God’s grace, and putting it into a concise form. For example, in only a few paragraphs he gives the entire beauty of God’s grace in the story of the Prodigal Son. A BIG idea summed up in a way we can understand.

That’s HARD. To. DO. 

Pitch and Blurb are ways writers do the same thing. (Hmm… Pitch and Blurb - sounds like the name of a pub in the U.K J

Lots of times as writers, we’re expected to create elevator pitches and book blurbs (compressing 95K words into a 50 word summary....AHHHHHH!). It can be a stress inducing activity - especially for those of us are particularly 'talky'.

In fact, last week Casey and I exchanged pitches and blurbs with our good pals, Carol Moncado and Michelle Massaro  It was a great learning experience. I came out with some wonderful tips and ideas. (Thanks so much, ladies).

Casey’s a much better pitch & blurb writer than I am. I think it has to do with my propensity toward long-windedness, but making it short is a key factor in pitch & blurb writing.

Here are a few general tips:

Pitch:

-          Usually 25-30 words

-          Basically sets up the conflict/motivation of the story

-          Strong verbs

-          Power words

-          No names necessary

Here are a few examples I’ve written about famous books/movies.

After a Kansas tornado traps her in a magical land, a young girl must find her way back home before a wicked witch kills her. (25)

An orphaned boy discovers he’s the only wizard who can rid the world of an unnamed evil before it destroys everything he loves. (23)

A disrespected historian seeks to save the Declaration of Independence from international thieves and in the process discover a thousand-year old Templar treasure that will restore his family’s reputation. (29)

Now, what is a blurb?

It’s one of the most important selling features of a book. We walk into a bookstore, pick up a book off the shelf, maybe notice the pretty cover, and…then what do we do?

Flip the book over and read the back blurb.

Blurb

-          Typically run between 100-250 words.

-          Intrigue is usually increased through questions.

-          Spoiler free.

-          A first sentence hook to GRAB the reader’s attention.

-          Try to exhibit the voice and uniqueness of the book.

-           Keep it simple, no complex storyline at this point.

-           Direct.

-          Your main goal is to ‘hook the reader’.

-          Some people pull out a great line from the book and place it here.

Janalyn Voigt has some great tips at Author Haven about pitch/blurb writing.

• “Desire -- What does your main character want? This desire drives the plot toward a specific goal.
• Problem -- A shift or change in your protagonist's life causes a problem.
• Cost or risk -- What will the solution cost? What are the risks?
• Solution -- How will your story resolve? Will your main character realize his or her goal -- or not?

Use your story problem and theme to create a pitch sentence. Be sure and add a hook -- something that sparks interest in learning more. Examples:

Story Problem: A grieving widow longs to find happiness again (desire). When a suitor presses her with his attentions (problem), she must let go of the past (cost or risk) in order to realize her goal (solution).

Theme: Is it possible to find happiness by letting go of the past?Pitch Sentence: A young widow wants to take a chance on a new suitor but what will it cost her to let go of the past?”

Isn’t that a great summary? I thought it might be helpful for getting our minds in ‘concise’ writing mode J

Another FANTASTIC site for pitch & blurb help is on CamyTang’s Story Sensei.

Here’s Camy’s example:

Character--Sydney Bristow, secret agent
Situation--Discovers she's been tricked into thinking she's working for the CIA when in truth it's a terrorist agency
Objective-- To topple the powerful organization called the Alliance by working as a double agent
Opponent--her boss Arvin Sloan, who has been a family friend for years, who lied to her about her job
Disaster--Sloane suspects her because she told her fiancé, and he had him killed.
Summary:
After discovering she was tricked into thinking she's working for the CIA, agent Sydney Bristow becomes a double agent, determined to take down the terrorist group called the Alliance. But can she fool her boss Arvin Sloane when he kills her fiancé and suspects her enough to kill her?

Here’s another great link to read related to pitch & blurb:

http://www.writethatnovel.com/novel-step2.htm

OKAY now it’s your turn!!

Any brave people out there?

I’m not great at these, but here are my examples (and you’re welcome to pick them apart to your heart’s content. I’m a lifelong learner ;-):

25-ish word pitch: A speech therapist determined to leave Appalachia must reform a cattle farmer and develop a new speech pathology program without losing her heart in the process. (25)

or

To escape her bruised past and a professional dead end, a speech therapist must transform an Appalachian cattle farmer into corporate-world material by Christmas. (24)

50-ish word pitch: To escape Appalachia, Dr. Adelina Roseland makes a daring wager to transform a rustic cattle farmer into corporate-world material before Christmas. But getting involved with this single-dad thrusts Dee into a world she’s spent fifteen years trying to forget, which may change not only her mind, but her heart. (49)

Blurb (100-200 words):

 The language of love doesn’t have an accent…
To escape Appalachia, speech pathologist Dr. Adelina Roseland makes a daring wager to transform a rustic cattle farmer into corporate-world material before Christmas. If she succeeds she can present her research at the national convention, launching her career beyond her bruised past and the professional dead-end of a small town.

But Adelina didn’t plan for the faith and friction of single-dad, Reece Mitchell. Drawn into a culture she’d been trying to forget for fifteen years, Adelina finds the warmth of faith and family healing the wounds of her heart. When Reece discovers that he’s been a mere pawn in her step up the corporate ladder, will he forgive her deceit or will their miscommunication end in two broken lives? (128)
(It's My Fair Lady meets Andy Griffith) :-)

YOUR TURN!