Self-Editing Questions for a List-Loving Novelist

Happy Tuesday to you! I (Laurie) am in the thick of second-round edits on my third manuscript, an inspirational contemporary romance, and it's been a while since I've done this for my own work.

Today I'm giving you an over-the-shoulder peek at my self-editing process with the checklist for my project. This is the step after I finish the first draft and do an initial read-through/first edit, sometimes fixing issues as I see them but mostly making lots of notes along the way.

For our first section, these are the questions I typically ask myself about each scene's setting:

My first drafts tend to be a bit on the *telling* side, so I have to be intentional about showing the setting so the reader can be more involved in the scene. And I also have to make sure my characters don't levitate from place to place or else my critique partner will leave a snarky note for me in the margins ;)

On to plot, structure, and style questions:

I know there are probably lots I've left out on this list, but these are the main pitfalls I've found in my own first drafts. Feel free to point out any glaring oversights in the comments. {Yes, I am giving you permission to edit me!}

This section is unique to my story, but they are all notes I made throughout the manuscript to fix in the next round of edits. Trust me. There were lots more I fixed during my first edit/read-through. But to give you some context for what I'm dealing with, since my heroine has more of a high-maintenance personality and lots of flaws, I have to find a balance between maintaining the integrity of her personality and making sure readers love her as much as I do and find her relatable/sympathetic enough to root for her happy ending. There are also plot issues I found that can be strengthened earlier in the story to create more of an impact.

And that's it! After I do this round of edits, I try to do another read-through before it goes off to critique partners. If I were self-publishing, this is where I would send it off to a professional editor. I hope seeing my special, list-loving way has been helpful for you.

If you have any questions about my process, feel free to leave them in the comments. I'd love to hear about your process or anything glaring I left out!

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Laurie Tomlinson is a wife and mom from Tulsa, Oklahoma, who is passionate about intentional living, all things color-coded, and stories of grace in the beautiful mess. Previously a full-time book publicist, she owns a freelance copywriting, editing, and PR consulting business called 1624 Communications. 

She's a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers, a two-time Genesis Award winner, and the runner-up in the 2015 Lone Star Contest's Inspirational category. Her work is represented by Rachel Kent of Books & Such Literary.

You can connect with Laurie here:

Facebook - AuthorLaurieTomlinson

Twitter - @LaurieTomlinson

Web - www.LaurieTomlinson.com

Tackling the Revise + Resubmit Request

You're waiting for news from an agent or editor, and that anticipated name finally appears in your inbox. But what if it isn't a yes or a no? Besides the obvious answers, there's a different option: A revise and resubmit request.

Whether there's an element of your story that needs to be tweaked or a structural component that doesn't meet the requirements for a particular line, this typically means they see promise in your project but would like to see how you change certain things before they commit. Sometimes this happens in a pitch meeting or query response. Other times, they will send full editorial notes like they would for one of their own clients.

Since I'm working on one as we speak, here are my top tips for dealing with a revise and resubmit request:

Number one and most important, this is -- more often than not -- a good thing. Nothing to be upset about at all. Yes, it's more work to put into a project you've probably already spent a considerable amount of time shaping up to send off in the first place. But it will be worth it. Remember that this means your story made this agent/editor think and that he or she is invested in the idea enough to respond thoughtfully to you out of the hundreds of submissions in any given week.

But you don't have to take the advice. Revise and resubmit requests are great opportunities to show how teachable and creative you are with constructive criticism (an editor's dream author). If you've made every attempt to be open-minded and discussed it with trusted people who know your work and you still feel these suggestions don't seem like a good fit with your vision, then it might be best to move on. If their suggestions are so extensive that the structural integrity of your story is lost (and it's no longer your own story), then maybe you'd be a better match with a different agent/editor. But more than likely, a reputable industry professional will give you suggestions to bring out the best in your story and make it a mutual fit, especially if you know this individual has worked with authors whose work resonates with you. Don't be afraid to ask if it's all right to run your revision ideas by the agent/editor before you begin, but make sure you have a good handle on them first to present them cohesively. (And if you have an agent, make sure to get his or her approval to contact an editor first!) Experiment with the changes. See if they resonate with you and give your story life. Then proceed accordingly.

When undertaking this kind of edit, you can never go wrong with a good checklist. If a request seems daunting (Mine was two pages long!), make a list with each change along with action items that can accomplish it. What backstory and plot points need to be changed? Does any of this change your characters' essence or how they would react to things? What questions need to be answered as these changes unfold? What plot points will each change affect later in the story? Having a roadmap or sorts is a tremendous reference as you implement these changes in each chapter and a great way to keep things organized! Plus, the accomplishment of checking things off never gets old.

Here's what mine looks like:

Have you ever gotten a revise + resubmit request? What are some ways you know an editor/agent/critique partner's advice will benefit your story? How do you tackle a big rewrite? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Laurie Tomlinson is a wife and mom from Tulsa, Oklahoma, who is passionate about intentional living, all things color-coded, and stories of grace in the beautiful mess. Previously a full-time book publicist, she owns a freelance copywriting, editing, and PR consulting business called 1624 Communications. 

She's a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers, a two-time Genesis Award winner, and the runner-up in the 2015 Lone Star Contest's Inspirational category. Her work is represented by Rachel Kent of Books & Such Literary.

You can connect with Laurie here:

Facebook - AuthorLaurieTomlinson

Twitter - @LaurieTomlinson

Web - www.LaurieTomlinson.com

Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

 

This right here was one of my very first blog posts when I started writing over four years ago! Put a big smile on my face! I've come a long way, but I can still relate.

What about you?

November 2011

Oh, the bane, the bear, the brutality of the relentless self-editing.

Perfectly adequate sleeping hours are waving as they pass me by. The threat of yet another late night feeding from my little Rafey forebodes with each fleeting hour. And yet I convince myself that this is THE FINAL READ THROUGH. “You are almost there,” I chant in my head, providing my own personal pep squad—and no, I was not a cheerleader. Speaking aloud while my hubby sleeps nearby is a sure fire way to get booted from the comforts of my bed. I get enough grief from the supposed “jack hammering” of my fingers on the keys and the soft glow of the screen as it is. But honestly, the man can fall asleep sitting up on the couch with every light in the house on, and the TV roaring at absurd decibels. Men are peculiar creatures.

So here goes the final edit, the final read through, until page 3. How on earth have I read that sentence fifty-five times and still never noticed that for is supposed to be from? And why is she smiling so much, there is a dead body in this scene?

For those of you with irritating perfectionistic tendencies like me, the vastness of 90K+ words proves to be a daunting task to comb through. And as my self-prescribed deadlines come and go, I wonder if I will ever bite the bullet, pry the electronic, and thus metaphorical, pages from my white knuckled grip and lay it all on the line.

Okay, so maybe I am a baby writer. And some glorious day, I will know exactly what my editor will look for, my observations and insights into my own work will become super-keen and second-nature, but what about now? How much editing is enough?

And if I keep going, past the point of sanity, will I edit the life out of the pages? Is there such a thing as too much?

Now, obviously, editing is a good thing. My first novel, Beauty for Ashes, barely resembles the original text I pounded out in six short weeks. Thank goodness! We have all seen the amazing fruits of our labors when it comes to editing, shaping the story, adding the detail that really puts the reader in the moment. As if the words on the page were a holographic image instead of lines and curves of black and white.

But how do you know when it’s done? Ready? As good as you can possibly get it?

What is your litmus test for a truly completed manuscript?

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

 

Amy Leigh Simpson is the completely exhausted stay-at-home mama to the two wild-child, tow-headed toddler boys, one pretty little princess baby, and the incredibly blessed wife of her hunky hubby.

She writes Romantic Suspense chalked full of grace that is equally inspiring, nail-biting, and hilarious. And a little saucy! Okay fine, a lot saucy. :) She is an active member of American Christian Fiction Writers, and now uses her Sports Medicine degree to patch up daily boo-boos. Her greatest ambitions are to create stories that inspire hope, raise up her children to be mighty warriors for Christ, invent an all-dessert diet that works, and make up for years of sleep deprivation. 

She is represented by Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary, Inc.

 

Tips for Turning Off Your Internal Editor

Have you ever had this happen to you? You sit down for a spell of uninterrupted writing with plenty of inspiration and no distractions. Caffeine of choice at the ready. Promising blank page in front of you. But an unwanted intruder rains all over your keyboard -- your Internal Editor. The uninvited kink in the lines between brain and fingertips. 

Here are some tips to send the overthinking intruder packing. I'm not talking permanently, but just on a little vacation with a return ticket that you get to negotiate. 

Get rid of all distractions. Turn your Wi-Fi off. Set your phone to Do Not Disturb mode. Check into programs that will freeze your browser so you can't waste time inciting the suspicion of the FBI with your search engine terms. When I'm in the middle of writing, if I'm not 100% sure about a fact or wonder what detail can add a little something-something to a scene, I will stop what I'm doing and Google it. The temptation is real. But this is a temptation that can lead to rabbit trails, so it's best to avoid it in the first place. You can fill in details once you're in editing mode and not sacrifice the flow of your story in the meantime.

Free write. Sometimes it works best to dig up a blank notebook and a pen with plenty of ink and just write. Though some of the most famous writers wrote their masterpieces on cocktail napkins and hotel stationery. No Delete key or Undo option to tempt them. Just free, unhindered writing. There's something about going old school that turns off the Internal Editor. You don't see misplaced commas or phrasing that doesn't feel quite right. There's more of a focus on what words are coming next, in my experience. {Free writing also can work wonders for writer's block!}

Set a timer. If you like competing against yourself, set your phone, oven, or other device and see how many words you can crank out in that increment of time. Depending on your level of attention, you can start small with 15- or 30-minute increments, especially if you're pressed for time, and then work your way up. If this kind of thing motivates you, before the timer starts, think of a small reward like another piece of chocolate or 15 minutes to make sure the world didn't end in the time you weren't on Facebook. Somehow the urgency is helpful to stave off the lure of the Internal Editor to press pause.

Commission some accountability. If you're part of a critique group, ask them to hold you accountable to turning off your internal editor. There are also entire hashtags in existence on social media where total strangers keep each other accountable. And there's some really sweet, encouraging people out there! Two communities off the top of my head include #1K1HR and #SprintWithUs on Twitter. Even though it's technically not a competition, if you're a competitive person, knowing you have a fixed period of time to write more words than someone else can be great motivation to employ less backspacing and more unhindered storytelling.

Edit after each writing session. Some can't imagine a life without editing as they go. If this describes you, there may be a way to trick your Internal Editor a little, or at least pacify it for the time being. Why not wait until the chapter or scene is finished and edit on a more micro level? This way those nervous ticks toward the backspace key can find solace in the fact that they'll be needed soon.

Turning off the Internal Editor can be difficult and takes lots of practice to perfect. But I'd invite you to see what less interruption and overthinking can do for your writing and how saving the editing, fact-checking, etc. for later means you can better look at your story as a more cohesive body of work. 

What tactics help you turn off your internal editor? Which of these tips are you more inclined to try first?

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Laurie Tomlinson is a wife and mom from Tulsa, Oklahoma, who is passionate about intentional living, all things color-coded, and stories of grace in the beautiful mess. Previously a full-time book publicist, she owns a freelance copywriting, editing, and PR consulting business. 

She's a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers and received the Genesis Award in 2013 (Contemporary) and 2014 (Romance). 

Her work is represented by Rachel Kent of Books & Such Literary.

You can connect with Laurie here:

Facebook - AuthorLaurieTomlinson

Twitter - @LaurieTomlinson

Web - www.LaurieTomlinson.com

Before You Hit Send...

You've been working on your manuscript for weeks... months... maybe years. You've gone through bags of Godiva chocolate and endless Frappuccinos. You've dreamed about these characters, argued with these characters, and maybe even talked with these characters (while no one else was around, that is).

Photo by  Ambro, from freedigitalphotos.net

And so, it's only natural to say you're desperately ready to send these characters off into the world. Whether that world be your agent, or a potential agent, or your editor, or a potential editor-- you're dying to know what other people think of these world you've been hanging out in. And, let's be honest, you're also ready to sell this story!

So, you hit "Send" while you still have the courage, right?

Wrong.

Bad idea. Trust me. Bad idea.

Sit back down, do some laundry or watch a rom com movie, and give your brain a little break from thinking about this book. I promise you, within a few hours, new ideas for revisions will flood in. And if you're already sent your book off into the world... well, that's the best it'll ever be.

This week, I sent my new manuscript to my agent after taking a loooooonnng stinkin' time to work on it. With every book, I've always spent time editing at least several drafts. But this one is my heart book. This one really matters to me. So I wanted it to be as strong as possible, even before sending it to Karen. I want to know that every fiber of what I'm capable of is coming out in this manuscript.

You'll hear people say that you want to get a submission in to an agent or editor as soon as possible if they request it. And yes, in part, that's true, because you don't want them to forget you. But quality always trumps quickness.

Consider this. You've (usually) only got one chance to capture your reader with this story, whether your reader is an agent, editor, or actual regular reader. One chance! And once that chance is gone... well... it's gone for good, unfortunately.

So with that in mind, here are a few things to ask yourself before hitting "Send."

1) Have other people read this story and given me feedback? Don't send your story to fifteen people and ask for their thoughts. Trust me. Too many irons in the kettle. But do find one, two, maybe three people whom you really trust, and ask for their feedback. A good critique partner can spot plot weaknesses you never would've noticed.

2) Have I let my book just sit for at least a few days? See what thoughts come to you after the initial adrenaline of I-just-finished-my-book-and-ate-a-pint-of-gelato-to-celebrate wears off. You'll be surprised by how much you come up with!

3) Have I done my research about this agent/editor? Have you met this person at a conference, or do you frequent his/her blog? How can you best prepare yourself to pitch this story? Do you know what particular genres this agent/editor is looking for?

4) Have I read other books in this genre? All too often, we get caught up so much in our own story that we forget the value of reading others'. Reading not only broadens your creativity and sharpens your mind, but it also works as market research. You need to be conversant about other books in your genre. It's okay if you don't have time to read twenty books a year, but you should at least know about a few books that are similar in style so that if you're asked by an agent/editor, or just another writer, what you write, you have something to compare your story to.

5) Do any of the scenes in this book give me pause? You know, this happens to all of us. At least, I like to pretend it happens to all of us, because it certainly happens to me. I'll be going along my merry-editing way, when I stumble across a scene that is just... well, not good. It's like a tofu scene. Nothing is really happening. Or maybe something is happening, and it's just not working with the surrounding scenes. These scenes are PAINFUL to delete/edit, because doing so sometimes means huge revisions. But just imagine how much more painful they will be if your book DOES get published, and you have to look at that scene every time you open your book. Don't leave anything in there that you aren't proud of.

6) Have I done a spell check, as well as searched for key pet phrases? I can't tell you how many times my characters cross their arms, run their hands through their hair, and smile. While editing, I always try to be aware of phrases I use repetitively, and then do a phrase search (which is so easy to do in Word!) for those particular words. It's oh-so-easy to replace them with more vivid descriptors, and it makes a huge difference for your writing.

7) Have I let the writing "gel" enough to see similarities through the book? After spending enough time with your characters, they would have personal habits, traits, and quirks. Maybe your character loves popcorn or hates country music. Be consistent in these behaviors/preferences, and develop them so that characters seem life-like to readers.

Your turn! What questions would you add to this list? What do you always check for before hitting "Send"?

******************************************

Ashley Clark writes romance with southern grace. She's dreamed of being a writer ever since the thumbprint-cookie-days of library story hour. Ashley has an M.A. in English and enjoys teaching literature courses at her local university. She's an active member of ACFW and runs their newcomer's loop. When she's not writing, Ashley's usually busy rescuing stray animals and finding charming new towns. You can find Ashley on her personal blog, Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. She is represented by Karen Solem.

Self-Editing Checklist: Word Choices

Would you believe this is the final installment of our self-editing checklist series?! Whew, we've crammed a lot into our brains, but hopefully our manuscripts are sparkling clean as a result.

Today we're getting down to the nitty gritty details--our word choices. This is the very last step in self-editing, after we've taken care of the big-picture items like plot and structure and medium-picture items like setting details and dialogue.

Specifically, we want to analyze our word choices in the following ways.

1) Do we use words that are understandable? Would the average reader understand them, or would they have to keep a dictionary handy? For more on this topic, including some exercises to strengthen your word choices, check out this post.

2) Do we use words that are vibrant? Do our word choices sparkle with our unique voice and create clear images in the reader's mind? Have we used strong verbs and nouns rather than relying on excessive adjectives and adverbs? For more exercises and tips, visit this post.

3) Have we avoided cliche phrases and descriptions? Hopefully we've eliminated cliche characters and plot lines, but now we want to look at each sentence and eliminate anything that even hints at a cliche, putting our own unique twist on it.

4) Have we eliminated unnecessary words? Rachelle Gardner wrote a blog post a few years ago where she listed actual words to search for and eliminate. Here's the link.

5) Have we read our scenes aloud? Doing this enables us to catch awkward phrasing and word choices, and it helps us create a beautiful flow of words.

Your homework, should you choose to accept it: Analyze each sentence and word choice, weighing their value. Check out Rachelle's blog post, and do a search in your document for certain words that can be eliminated. And finally, read it aloud and listen for those breaks in flow.

So that's it! You've survived the self-editing checklist. Congratulations! :) If you need to go back and revisit certain points, you can find them all together here.

Do you ever read your scenes aloud? What word choices do you tend to get stuck on? Have I missed any important points in my self-editing checklist that you'd like to add?

*Book photo by vichie81 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
**Reading photo by Graur Codrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Editing Checklist: Conflict and Tension

"Cinderella woke up one day and decided she wanted to be a princess. So she went to the prince's ball, danced with him, and fell in love. And they all lived happily ever after."

Errr, back it up a minute. What's wrong with this picture? Maybe a lack of conflict?

Can you imagine what the story of Cinderella would be without a wicked stepmother who makes Cinderella scrub and clean until her knees are bare? And who can forget about the evil stepsisters who taunt her whenever they can? Oh, and let's not forget about the lost shoe. I mean, what girl wouldn't be traumatized after that whole ordeal?

Without conflict and tension in our stories, there's no reason to come alongside the characters, to cheer them on to victory, to laugh and cry when they finally fall in love and live happily ever after.

Simply put, without conflict and tension, there is no story.

So now that we've analyzed our scenes until our eyes are blurred (If you're not seeing fuzzy lines yet, read the rest of this series here), we want to take a step back and look at the overarching conflict. Specifically, we want to look at the following components.

1) Does every scene (or even every page) contain enough conflict to move the story forward? It might be internal conflict or external conflict, but either way, there should be no stagnant scenes.

2) Have I embedded conflict that fits within the story, or does it feel contrived? This is a toughie to gauge for yourself and it's where a really good critique partner can come in handy. But if you notice a tension point that feels out of place, you should probably listen to your gut.

3) Have I varied the forms of tension? It might manifest itself through body language, interior monologue, dialogue, setting, viscerals...basically all the devices we've covered in this series. Make sure you're not relying on the same one or two forms of tension. The greater variety the better.

Your homework, should you choose to accept it: Scan each page of your scene or manuscript and mark the points where conflict comes into play. Analyze the device you've used to portray it, and make sure it's natural to the story while also providing variety for the reader.

Can you think of a classic story and rewrite it without tension, the way I did with Cinderella? Do you have any rule of thumb when it comes to conflict and tension in your stories?

This post is part of the Self-Editing Checklist series. To read the rest of the series, click here.

*Arrows photo by Danilo Rizzuti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Editing Checklist: Setting and Description

Most writers have a basic visual in their minds of the story's setting and the main characters. Case in point, this picture is the hero in one of my manuscripts (rugged-looking, isn't he?). :-)

The challenge is translating what we see in our minds and displaying it for the reader to see as well. When editing my scenes, I ask myself four key questions related to description.

1) Have I grounded the reader in the setting? At the beginning of a scene, do they know where they're at? Do I have my characters interact with the setting, so that the setting is a natural part of the story (versus a paragraph of description separated from the action)?

2) Do I give at least a snapshot description of new characters when they're first introduced in the story? If they're important characters, do I provide more than just a snapshot?

3) Do I filter in character descriptions throughout the manuscript in a way that distinguishes each character and avoids cliches? Jody Hedlund wrote an awesome post on this topic. You can read her article here.

4) Have I written too much description? Is it written in a way that is non-dynamic? The key with description is sprinkling it naturally throughout the scene. Fuse it with action and senses to make it more fluid and dynamic. For instance, instead of having your character run across a room, you can say, "Her heels click-clacked on the wood floor as she ran after him." We get a two-for-one out of this type of sentence. We see that she's wearing heels, and we see that the room has a wood floor. Not only that, but we hear what the heels sound like on the wood floor while getting a sense of the physical action.

Your homework, should you choose to accept it: Study the introduction of each of your scenes and each character and determine whether you've given them the appropriate level of description. If you have a stagnant descriptive sentence, rewrite it in a way that fuses it with senses, action, or emotion. And be sure to read Jody's post for some super tips.

So let's talk. Do you always have a strong visual of what your setting and your characters look like? Do you tend to write too much description or too little? Any other tips you can add to my list?

This post is part of the Self-Editing Checklist series. For the rest of the series, click here.

*Floor photo by suphakit73 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Editing Checklist: Internals

Gut-wrenching, heart-stopping, pulse-pounding fiction. We writers like to make our readers squirm, don't we?

Two weeks ago, I talked about externals...the choreography, body language, and senses of our characters. This week we're taking a look inside. Specifically, we'll cover two areas: Visceral responses and interior monologue.

Let's start with visceral responses by giving a quick explanation. Visceral responses are those initial gut reactions we feel inside when something happens to us. A twist in the stomach, sweaty hands, rapid pulse...Those are all viscerals.

So what are some areas to check in our scenes when it comes to visceral responses?

1) Do I have too few or too many? Are you using viscerals for key moments that warrant them in the scene? If you don't use enough, the reader will feel detached from your character. If you have too many, the reader will start to get motion sick. A good rule of thumb for me is to keep it to an average of one visceral per page AT MOST. For less intense scenes, it might be one visceral in the entire scene. For a major scene, I might have a couple pages that have two or three viscerals.

2) Do I use a variety of responses that make sense with the scene and the characters? This is similar to my post about externals two weeks ago. If your characters are having heart attacks (i.e., their "hearts stop beating") on every page, you have a problem. Really get yourself in their skin and make the reactions authentic.

Resources: As usual, I have to point to Margie Lawson on this one. Her classes really dive deep into visceral responses. She uses her experience as a psychologist and provides in-depth insights into visceral responses and how to use them for powerful writing.

Now let's move on to interior monologue, or in simple terms, the internal thoughts of your characters. Here are some questions to ask as you analyze your scenes.

1) Do I have too much interior monologue? Can you show the same emotions and responses through action and dialogue instead? Or maybe even a whole new scene?

2) Have I handled backstory well? Do you like to have your characters think in one big "backstory dump"? Is there a way to trickle in backstory only when it's necessary to the story? I think most of us have read plenty on the topic of avoiding backstory in the beginning of the manuscript, but we really should be careful in each scene to keep it to only the minimum and the necessary.

Resources: Self-Editing for Fiction Writers has an entire chapter devoted solely to interior monologue. And again, Margie Lawson covers this topic fully in her classes.

Your homework, should you choose to accept it: Sign up for or purchase one of Margie Lawson's classes or lecture packets. Or pull out your copy of Self-Editing for Fiction Writers (or your library's copy). Highlight your internals in each scene and analyze them to make sure you have the right balance.

Do you have any pet visceral responses in your writing? How do you typically handle backstory? Any extra resources to share with our readers?

*This post is part of the Self-Editing Checklist series. For the rest of the series, click here.

**Body photo by smokedsalmon / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
***Thoughts photo by suphakit73 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Editing Checklist: Externals

In my limited experience as a contest judge, I'd say there's one common mistake among all beginner writers:

Too much internalization.

Thinking and walking. Thinking and driving. Thinking and eating. And somewhere along the way, *bam* there's another character who talks! Then it's back to thinking and walking. Thinking and driving, etc., etc., etc.

In order to create a compelling story, we can't ignore the externals. What do I mean by externals? I'm glad you asked. :-)

By externals, I'm talking about physical actions, body language, and the five senses. Internalization and dialogue aren't enough. Establishing the setting isn't enough (more on how to do that in a future post). A perfect blend of these elements along with externals creates a can't-put-it-down kind of book.

So let's get to the meat, shall we? Here are some things to check for:

1) Do you have a good balance of physical movement in your scenes? Is your character sitting in one paragraph, then all the sudden she's standing next to the window in the next? How did she get there? Act it out if you have to.

I'm not saying you should outline every single physical action. Too much non-crucial stuff keeps the story from moving forward. But the goal is to combine action with emotion. For example, instead of just having your character walk, you could say, "She paced from the couch to the fireplace and back again, her feet gaining bounce with each step." Now we can see firsthand she's excited about something.

2) Do you show a character's reactions and emotions through appropriate body language? Casey did a fabulous post about body language a couple months ago. It's a must-read. The key is making sure you vary the physical reactions, making them unique to each character and to the situation.

3) Do you use all five senses effectively? Are they appropriate to the scene and the character? Do you fuse them with emotion to enhance the story? Here's an example:

"The dingy walls crept closer, and the basement's musty smell pressed deep into the crevices of her being. How could she follow through on his offer when she wanted nothing to do with him?"

This character is struggling with a choice, and the setting and smells of the basement mirror her feelings of being trapped. So using the five senses is more than just having smell, taste, sound. It's about using them to enhance the scene and make the reader feel as if they're living the scene with the character.

Resources: In my mind, there's one primary resource when it comes to writing externals. I'm a huge fan of Margie Lawson's classes. If you haven't checked out her lecture packets, what are you waiting for? :-)

Your homework, should you choose to accept it: Analyze your scenes and act out the physical action if you need to. Study the body language and senses, making sure you have a variety that is unique to the scene and the characters.

So tell me, have I missed any "externals"? Are there any tricks you use to make sure your manuscript has the right blend of movement?

*This post is part of the Self-Editing Checklist series. For the rest of the series, click here.

**Edit photo by ningmilo / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
***Jumping photo by photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Editing Checklist: Dialogue

Grab any fiction book off the shelves, and you'll see characters talking (Well, not literally. If you do, you might want to seek help). Sometimes they talk more than we want them to, sometimes less.

Dialogue is a vital part of every manuscript, and it deserves its own spot on my self-editing checklist -- Point Number 10, to be exact. (For Points 1-9, click here.)

When analyzing your dialogue, ask yourself the following questions.

1) Do I have the right amount of dialogue on each page? Or you could ask it this way: Do I have several pages with no dialogue? If so, that's a good indication that you need to have your characters interact with each other more. In fact, I like to try and have at least one dialogue run per scene if possible. A dialogue run is a phrase I learned from Margie Lawson (Have I mentioned yet that she's brilliant?). It describes a section of dialogue that is mostly unhindered by dialogue tags or physical actions. Interspersed dialogue runs keep the pace moving.

2) Does the dialogue fit each character? Remember how we talked in our characterization post about how each character should have unique personality traits, etc.? That same uniqueness should come out in how they speak, how they put their words together.

3) Does my dialogue move the story forward? Mundane, everyday conversations aren't exciting in fiction. If you have this type of dialogue, there'd better be underlying tension through subtext or by contrasting it against "the elephant in the room", so to speak.

4) Do my dialogue descriptions enhance or distract? By descriptions, this can include "he said" or it can include physical actions that precede or follow the dialogue. Finding just the right balance is key. Self-Editing for Fiction Writers has really good advice on this topic, as does The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman.

5) Does my dialogue sound natural? To really be sure on this, you'll want to read it aloud. We want our characters to sound like actual people rather than robots (unless you're writing a sci-fi story that involves robots taking over the planet).

Your homework for the next two weeks, should you choose to accept it: Work through these questions and analyze your dialogue. Check out the resources and links I've provided. And for some general dialogue-improving exercises, check out this excellent post.

So how about you? Do you find yourself erring on the side of too much dialogue or not enough? How do you ensure your characters all sound unique?

(If you have an extra minute, feel free to drop by my personal blog today. I'm joining the ACFW Conference blog tour with a goofy post titled "Top 5 Things to Avoid Telling Editors and Agents at Conferences".)

*Talking photo by photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
**Elephant photo by Michelle Meiklejohn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Editing Checklist: Repetition

Do you ever find yourself repeating the same things over and over? Do you ever find yourself repeating... Okay, I'll stop.

All writers have repetition in their manuscripts. They're like little tics that keep jerking our fingers to the same spots on the keyboard. In the first draft, it's okay...We're just dumping the story out of our heads. But self-editing is the time to kill those tics and toss them in the trash bin.

Point #9 in my self-editing checklist is Repetition. (To see Points 1-8, click here.) There are three main traps to watch out for.

1) Chapters or scenes that accomplish the same purpose. Each scene should advance the plot, moving it forward and heightening the stakes. If you have two scenes that take place in the same location, they'd better be unique in the plot development to give the reader a sense that something is different.

2) Stylistic effects. Do you have a metaphor or simile in every sentence? Or in two sentences close together? Even if they're the most brilliant material you've come up with in your writing career, you need to cut one of them. Otherwise, they lose their effect.

Or how about this one...Your. Characters. Speak. Each. Word. As. If. They're. About. To. Die. In. Every. Scene. This technique can be effective in short snippets, but if you use it more than once or twice in a manuscript (personal opinion...not a hard-and-fast rule), you run the risk of making your reader throw the book across the room.

3) Word repeats. We all have pet words, and the more unique they are, the more they stand out. I never realized I had an addiction to the word "tingly" until my characters got the tingles in almost every scene. It made me want to rub anti-itch cream all over my skin. Your pet word will be different. But you won't catch it until you look for it.

There are some online tools that can tell you how many times a word is used in a particular section of text. Here's a link to Agent Steve Laube's blog where he talks about one such tool. Per his comments, it's not useful for an entire manuscript, but it can be used for shorter sections.

Ultimately, though, the best way to catch all these forms of repetition is to read the manuscript yourself. Then highlight the words or effects you see repeated.

Your homework for the next two weeks, should you choose to accept it: Analyze your overall scene list and watch for scenes that accomplish the same purpose. Look for repeat words and use the Find feature in Word to hunt them down and change them.

Do you have any pet phrases or words you use in your writing? What about stylistic effects? What are some tools you use to find them?

* Trash bin photo by winnond / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
** Frustration photo by Graur Razvan Ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Editing Checklist: Characterization (Plus a Giveaway!)

Plot vs. character. Character vs. plot. The debate could give writers a headache the size of War and Peace. Lucky for all of us, I'm not going to jump in that pool.

Regardless of your approach, the content in this post assumes you've done some characterization. It might be character interviews or charts or talking to your characters while you drive your son to preschool (which I've never, ever done...*grin*).

In case you haven't figured it out yet, Point #8 in my self-editing checklist is Characterization. (For the previous 7 points, click here.) Here are some things to consider as you analyze your characters in each scene.

a) When introducing new characters, are you info-dumping every detail upfront, or are you letting their character be revealed through action and dialogue as the story plays out? This includes backstory. Are you spelling out their family history before we know who they are?

Think of it in terms of real life. If I meet you at the park while my kids are climbing the jungle gym, I'm not going to tell you about my childhood, starting with the birth canal. I'll start by talking about my current life, my kids, and my potty training battles if I see that your kid is in Pull-ups too. Then if the friendship progresses beyond an acquaintance, we'll add another layer, and so on.

Get the reader interested in your character's current struggle, and they'll be dying to peel the layers at a later point (preferably after Page 50 or even 100).

b) Does each of my characters leave a dominant first impression? Have I made them distinct enough to differentiate them in the reader's mind? This might include different strengths, weaknesses, appearances, speech, mannerisms, and attitudes. (For an expansion on this topic, check out this overview of characterization.)

c) Will readers be able to relate to my characters? Are they too perfect? Too flawed? Too cliched? Seek to find a balance between imperfections and likeability. This is a very tricky skill to learn (and it's one I'm still learning!). One book I highly recommend is Writing for Emotional Impact by Karl Iglesias.

If you're in the early stages of characterization, or if you're stuck with a difficult character, there's an amazing resource available. My critique partner, Jeannie Campbell (aka, The Character Therapist), is launching her new website TODAY! She's a licensed therapist who provides tailored diagnoses and evaluations of fictional characters, and she has awesome tools on her site.

In fact, she's offering her Writer's Guide to Creating Rich Back Stories as a giveaway to one lucky commenter! The winner will be announced in our weekend edition. Be sure to check out her site! (And no, I'm not just saying that because I think she's nice and super-cool.) :)

Your homework for the next two weeks, should you choose to accept it: Read the article I referenced and analyze your scenes for how your characters are being portrayed. If you've found trouble spots or just need ideas to move forward, check out The Character Therapist, as well as the book I mentioned above.

How do you usually develop your characters? Do you err on the side of making them too perfect or too flawed? What are your favorite characterization resources?

* Headache photo by Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
** Onion photo by Carlos Porto / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Editing Checklist: Point of View

Do you ever have too many characters talking in your head at once? It's time to take charge and make them wait their turn.

This week we're looking at Point #7 in my self-editing checklist: Point of View. (For Points 1-6, click here.)

When analyzing Point of View in your scenes, consider the following items.

a) Have you chosen the best viewpoint character for each scene? Usually this is the person with the most to lose or the most at stake.

b) Do you stay in one POV throughout the scene? Do you see only what your POV character would see? Hear only what they would hear? Notice only what they would notice? Think only what they would think?

c) Is the language in the scene right for your viewpoint character? If your POV character is a 90-year-old grandma, she probably wouldn't think, "Dude, that is one sick iPad," unless she's the hippest granny in the universe. I'm not just talking about dialogue here...This encompasses the entire scene.

d) Look at descriptions. Can you tell how your viewpoint character feels about what you're describing? Do you have them interacting with the setting and fusing that with their thoughts and actions?

e) How deep do you go in the POV? Most books being published today put us right in the character's skin and emotions, eliminating distance words like "realized", "wondered", etc. This concept also ties in with showing versus telling. For instance, instead of saying, "She wondered when he would return," you could say, "Good gravy, he was taking forever to get back." By eliminating the word "wondered" and dumping us right in the character's head, we get a feel for her personality and feel as if we are that character.

Resources: Camy Tang has some uber-helpful articles on her Story Sensei blog. Some of my points above are summaries of her material. To get more in depth, check out these articles on basic point of view and deep point of view.

And of course, the primary foundation of my self-editing checklist is always Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne & Dave King.

Your homework for the next two weeks, should you choose to accept it: For each scene you've written, write down the POV character and analyze whether they are the best character for that scene. Comb over your scenes to make sure you're staying in the POV characters' skin and thoughts, and analyze word choices to ensure they keep the POV deep while also revealing who the character is.

Which POV do you typically write in? 1st person or 3rd person? With multiple viewpoints? What are your best POV tips for our readers?

* Text bubble photo by Renjith Krishnan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
** Grandma photo by Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Editing Checklist: Show and Tell (plus a giveaway!)

No, we're not talking about that period in elementary school when Freckle-Faced Freddy brought his ant farm and let the little buggers loose.

But this topic can be just as problematic for a writer, can't it?

Point #6 in my self-editing checklist is all about Show and Tell. (For the previous five posts, click here.)

When analyzing your scenes for Show and Tell, here are a couple key points to watch out for:

a) Are you naming your characters' emotions? What sort of picture does this sentence evoke? "She gave me a scared look." Pretty vague, right? How about this..."A sheen of sweat sparkled above her lip and her eyes bulged." Gives a much clearer picture. If you see emotion words like "scared", "happy", "worried", "angry", etc., carve them out and show them through action and dialogue instead.

b) Are you relying on narrative summary rather than showing the scene as it plays out? Take note that sometimes narrative summary is okay, but in most cases, you want your book to contain scenes filled with movement and action (and action doesn't necessarily have to be shoot-em-up duke-it-out type of stuff).

Here's an example of narrative summary used in the wrong way, glossing over a key moment that should be shown instead.

Her long-lost son opened a folder and asked about her three names. She struggled through memories of her childhood and started to explain.

Here's the actual excerpt from Patti Lacy's powerful book The Rhythm of Secrets, which shows the main character's emotions beautifully.

"Thanks for meeting me." The folder flopped open. A sheet of paper was removed. "If you don't mind, I have a few questions for you."

His inscrutable expression muted her soul's music. She eyed the folder warily.

The paper shook as he shoved it close. "According to...my sources, you are both Sheila Franklin and Sylvia Allen." His shoulders grazed the leather booth when he leaned back. Ice glazed his eyes. "If that's true, then who is Sheba Alexander?"

The question tore open a lockbox of memories. A blazing fire. A one-armed prostitute. Maman. Papa. A thirteen-year-old girl who thought she could conquer the world, thanks to her parents' gift of that name she'd had to abandon. A name she just might have to reclaim...

"Sheba Alexander was..." Words fought to escape her cottony mouth. "...a silly girl." A very foolish teenager. She swallowed hard. How could she explain things to a man she'd just met, even if he were her son?

Gripping, right? This is a big-time moment in the novel, and Patti didn't hold back at all. She showed the emotions of both characters through action and dialogue, sweeping the reader away in the story.

Your homework for the next two weeks, should you choose to accept it: Search through your scenes for naming of emotions and work on ways to portray those emotions through action and dialogue. Look for large chunks of narrative summary and determine whether they should be shown in greater detail or even added as extra scenes. If they're irrelevant to the story or keep it from moving forward, don't be afraid to cut them.

Bonus giveaway this week! Patti Lacy has graciously offered a copy of The Rhythm of Secrets for one lucky commenter! We'll announce the winner in our weekend edition.

What's been your biggest challenge in the show-and-tell game of writing? What's the most valuable resource you've used in learning how to show rather than tell?

*Ants photo by Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net