Self-Editing Checklist: Externals

In my limited experience as a contest judge, I'd say there's one common mistake among all beginner writers:

Too much internalization.

Thinking and walking. Thinking and driving. Thinking and eating. And somewhere along the way, *bam* there's another character who talks! Then it's back to thinking and walking. Thinking and driving, etc., etc., etc.

In order to create a compelling story, we can't ignore the externals. What do I mean by externals? I'm glad you asked. :-)

By externals, I'm talking about physical actions, body language, and the five senses. Internalization and dialogue aren't enough. Establishing the setting isn't enough (more on how to do that in a future post). A perfect blend of these elements along with externals creates a can't-put-it-down kind of book.

So let's get to the meat, shall we? Here are some things to check for:

1) Do you have a good balance of physical movement in your scenes? Is your character sitting in one paragraph, then all the sudden she's standing next to the window in the next? How did she get there? Act it out if you have to.

I'm not saying you should outline every single physical action. Too much non-crucial stuff keeps the story from moving forward. But the goal is to combine action with emotion. For example, instead of just having your character walk, you could say, "She paced from the couch to the fireplace and back again, her feet gaining bounce with each step." Now we can see firsthand she's excited about something.

2) Do you show a character's reactions and emotions through appropriate body language? Casey did a fabulous post about body language a couple months ago. It's a must-read. The key is making sure you vary the physical reactions, making them unique to each character and to the situation.

3) Do you use all five senses effectively? Are they appropriate to the scene and the character? Do you fuse them with emotion to enhance the story? Here's an example:

"The dingy walls crept closer, and the basement's musty smell pressed deep into the crevices of her being. How could she follow through on his offer when she wanted nothing to do with him?"

This character is struggling with a choice, and the setting and smells of the basement mirror her feelings of being trapped. So using the five senses is more than just having smell, taste, sound. It's about using them to enhance the scene and make the reader feel as if they're living the scene with the character.

Resources: In my mind, there's one primary resource when it comes to writing externals. I'm a huge fan of Margie Lawson's classes. If you haven't checked out her lecture packets, what are you waiting for? :-)

Your homework, should you choose to accept it: Analyze your scenes and act out the physical action if you need to. Study the body language and senses, making sure you have a variety that is unique to the scene and the characters.

So tell me, have I missed any "externals"? Are there any tricks you use to make sure your manuscript has the right blend of movement?

*This post is part of the Self-Editing Checklist series. For the rest of the series, click here.

**Edit photo by ningmilo / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
***Jumping photo by photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Editing Checklist: Dialogue

Grab any fiction book off the shelves, and you'll see characters talking (Well, not literally. If you do, you might want to seek help). Sometimes they talk more than we want them to, sometimes less.

Dialogue is a vital part of every manuscript, and it deserves its own spot on my self-editing checklist -- Point Number 10, to be exact. (For Points 1-9, click here.)

When analyzing your dialogue, ask yourself the following questions.

1) Do I have the right amount of dialogue on each page? Or you could ask it this way: Do I have several pages with no dialogue? If so, that's a good indication that you need to have your characters interact with each other more. In fact, I like to try and have at least one dialogue run per scene if possible. A dialogue run is a phrase I learned from Margie Lawson (Have I mentioned yet that she's brilliant?). It describes a section of dialogue that is mostly unhindered by dialogue tags or physical actions. Interspersed dialogue runs keep the pace moving.

2) Does the dialogue fit each character? Remember how we talked in our characterization post about how each character should have unique personality traits, etc.? That same uniqueness should come out in how they speak, how they put their words together.

3) Does my dialogue move the story forward? Mundane, everyday conversations aren't exciting in fiction. If you have this type of dialogue, there'd better be underlying tension through subtext or by contrasting it against "the elephant in the room", so to speak.

4) Do my dialogue descriptions enhance or distract? By descriptions, this can include "he said" or it can include physical actions that precede or follow the dialogue. Finding just the right balance is key. Self-Editing for Fiction Writers has really good advice on this topic, as does The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman.

5) Does my dialogue sound natural? To really be sure on this, you'll want to read it aloud. We want our characters to sound like actual people rather than robots (unless you're writing a sci-fi story that involves robots taking over the planet).

Your homework for the next two weeks, should you choose to accept it: Work through these questions and analyze your dialogue. Check out the resources and links I've provided. And for some general dialogue-improving exercises, check out this excellent post.

So how about you? Do you find yourself erring on the side of too much dialogue or not enough? How do you ensure your characters all sound unique?

(If you have an extra minute, feel free to drop by my personal blog today. I'm joining the ACFW Conference blog tour with a goofy post titled "Top 5 Things to Avoid Telling Editors and Agents at Conferences".)

*Talking photo by photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
**Elephant photo by Michelle Meiklejohn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When Search and Replace Is Not Enough



courtesy of ehow.com

Body language has always been a struggle for me. I either have too much or not enough and much of what I include all revolves around the same motion. Twisting hands that knot themselves in your lap are the same thing. An eyebrow that lifts is the same one that quirks.

But because I am trying to write “fresh” I often take the same ways of saying something…and using different words to describe it.

Sorry. Can’t get away with that anymore.

After taking a recent Margie Lawson class (Empowering Character’s Emotions), I realized my body language (BL) was not good enough in my writing. And it suddenly became quite plain what I was doing wrong.

It was all the same.

Every bit of it revolved around a few parts of the body. A wince of a smile, restless hands, pacing, stomping, nodding or shaking of a head. There was no variety to any of it and I saw how my work suffered.

A great deal of BL that comes across on the page has the potential to speak louder than the words the character says. For example: (in the most simplistic form)

“Oh, why would you say that? I’m not nervous.” Her legs uncrossed and tapped a dance on the floor before hooking a toe on the barstool. Where a jittering rocked it from knee to toe. “Not nervous at all.”

Her actions completely contradict the words of her mouth. Now obviously I could have written that better, but do you see my point?

I decided to go through my manuscript and mark all my BL. Physically write it down on a pad of paper with a pen instead of just highlighting it on the screen. By writing it down in physical form you can see how many times you repeat a certain motion, because your mind is engaged to take it from the screen to the page.



Courtesy of linked2leadership.com



The reason you can’t use “search and replace” for this method because if you do a search for “smile” you won’t find all the other times you used a different word or description. Like: “his lips titled upward” (a pet phrase of mine…)

When I went through my first six chapters I marked not only BL, but also actions. I know I often use the same verbiage to describe something, so this was also a chance to mark those areas and see how they compare later on in the story. Don’t get stuck on marking “only” the BL. Look for the verbs that jump out at you as pet phrases.

My characters do a lot of smiling. I marked every single one so I can see how often they do. They also mess a lot with their hands, marching, stomping and nodding. Mark, mark, mark and mark them all!

If your main character doesn’t do the action, then make a little side note with which character did. Be fastidious about this exercise; take the time to mark them all. And when you are done you are going to have a resource at your fingertips that will catalog the emotions and BL of your characters, so when you start to write one that sounds similar you can search through your short-hand notes to see if you have or not.

Make your fiction “fresh” and “vibrant” by not settling for less. Take the time to go through these little extra steps (I did six chapters in a little over an hour) and you’ll plainly see what is working and what isn’t and those pet phrases to avoid.

What have you found that helps your editing process?

Self-Editing Checklist: Consistency (Plus a Dynamite Giveaway!)

No, I'm not giving away dynamite...That might get me arrested. But I am offering a fabulous giveaway for people who want to propel their writing to a dynamite level. Curious? Keep reading. :)

Remember that self-editing checklist I've talked about in my previous posts? We're moving on to Point #3 this week. I call this one Consistency. (For points 1 & 2, click here.)

Under consistency, consider the following items for each of your scenes.

a) Have you left any dangling subplots or story lines? If so, is it intentional or do you need to fill in the gaps? In my last post, you may have gathered that I'm a spreadsheet nerd. So how do you suppose I track my subplots? That's right...in a spreadsheet. :) Whether you're a plotter or a pantser, I highly recommend you keep track of your scenes somehow, whether it's in Excel or on index cards.

In Excel, I create a column called Plot/Subplots. In my latest book, I have the primary plot of the romance between my main characters Brogan and Ivy, but I also have subplots of Ivy's troubled relationship with her dad, her struggle to get out of debt, and her job for her ex-boyfriend, to name a few. Next to each scene, I indicate which plot/subplots are addressed. It's not foolproof, but it does help me recognize if I've ignored the debt subplot for 20 straight chapters.

Resources: Camy Tang talks about subplot threads in this Story Sensei post.

b) Does the character's emotional or spiritual arc flow? Does your character hate her father in one scene and then give him a big old hug in the next? If so, there'd better be a reason. Jerking the reader up and down with willy-nilly character emotions will just unsettle them. Make sure the emotional arc picks up where it left off in the previous scene and move it forward from there.

Resources: For a quick hit on emotional arcs, check out this article. If you want to take your character's emotional arc (and your writing) to the next level, I highly recommend Margie Lawson's AMAZING course, Empowering Character Emotions. In case you didn't sign up after Casey's post last week, you can buy Margie's lecture packets (over 280 pages!) for only $22. It's seriously the steal of the century when you consider the AMAZING (yes, I used that word twice in one paragraph) things you'll learn.

Your homework for the next two weeks, should you choose to accept it: Read the articles I've referenced. And if you're ready to learn like crazy, buy Margie Lawson's lecture packet and gobble it up like your Thanksgiving turkey. Then analyze your scenes for consistency.

But wait! (Do you feel like you're watching an infomercial yet?) Remember that dynamite giveaway I mentioned? For one lucky commenter, I'm offering the choice of any one of Margie's lecture packets! The winner will be announced in our weekend edition.

Do you keep track of your plots and subplots? If so, how? How closely do you pay attention to the character arc?

*Rock climbing photo by Bill Longshaw / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
** Curve photo by Filomena Scalise / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A Writer's Toolbox: Classes to EMPOWER Your Fiction

Are you ready to go crazy?



If you’re a writer, you probably already are.

No offense, it’s just the fact of a writer’s life. :-)

And if you are a crazy writer who wants to expand their craft and learn some great tools, sit up close for a moment. I’m going to share a writing-world secret.


You’ll probably guess my point before I get there, because truth is, this secret isn’t much of a secret.


But play along for a minute, okay?


I’m constantly searching for help in making my craft stronger. I’ve tried freelance editors (helpful, yes, but not quite there yet). I’ve taken copious classes and multiply how-to books (again very helpful, the pieces to the puzzles are coming together).


But I still don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Something isn’t clicking and when I sit down to edit I can’t SEE the physical errors in my writing besides the plain-as-the-nose-on-your-face obvious. (cliché alert) Worse I don’t know how to fix them.


(HINT: there was a clue. Did you catch it?)


Hand me a class I can afford and most likely I am going to jump in feet first and see how wet I can get.


This time around, I was DELUGED.


In a very, very good way.

Photo Curtesy of Flickr

I took a class this month on powering your characters emotions, which turned into way more than I ever expected. This class took the power of an editor and put it into my hands. Through the month long class (with 10 lectures total), the most helpful thing I think I learned is the EDITS system. Basically a system of highlighting different aspects of your writing.


Put into layman’s terms, I learned what each color represented and what they represented on the PAGE and what it most likely meant for my story.


(Do you know who I’m talking about yet? I’ll keep going for a few more paragraphs.)


Chock full of examples from superb fiction, you SEE what these authors have done right. It’s all broken down and by the time the final lessons have rolled around, I’m looking to find these concepts in other books.


You learn by doing. The assignments stretched my brain and took me another step down this journey. In-depth advice from the instructor and the help of my edit partner brought concepts home.


Wow.


Let me say that one more time. It needs to be over-stated.


WOW.


(Figured it out yet? Answer’s coming!)


Suddenly (or probably not-so-suddenly) I can SEE what is wrong with my work. It hasn’t made it perfect, but when all you see is blocks of yellow (gotta take the class to know what I’m talking about :-)-you know you most likely have a problem.


And instead of just KNOWING you have a problem, you are given the tools and the power to go and FIX it.


It’s more than just staring at a block of words and knowing in your gut you’ve got something that needs fixing. This is actively investigating that block of words and actually making changes that will forever change how you view your fiction.


Can you tell I’m a proponent of this class?


No, I wasn’t paid to write this post. I just paid for the class. Which is worth every penny of the $30 I spent. (and I would have spent three times that)


Are you still with me?

Think you know who it is?

If you guessed Margie Lawson, you guessed right. Check her website out. I’m serious. You won’t write the same again and she puts her classes into terms you can UNDERSTAND. You will grow and stretch, plus we read many examples from Multi-Margie grads that are now published or in the stages of publication. :-)


EMPOWER YOUR FICTION. It’s guaranteed.


Questions? Comments? Do tell… :-)

To Celebrate Our 300 Followers (YOU!) I’m Hosting a Giveaway:

Leave a comment for a chance to win Home Another Way by Christa Parrish

Winner will be announced in the Weekend Edition and please be sure and leave an email address so I can contact you. :-)

You've Got the Manuscript...

...And you don't know how to take it to that next level.

You're swamped with options for freelance editors, classes and the "next best thing" to happen to you and your writing. Every time you turn around you see MORE information!

You need to know what is the best option for YOU and your writing.

I have a list of freelance editors I have used (and many more I haven't) and classes you can take to further your writing. But first a short list of tips...

**I have not used all of these editors or taken all of these classes. Most of this information you will have to decide for yourself. Which is the proper protocol anyway, considering that each of us have different talents and abilities that are better combined with different editors.**

One: If you go with a freelance editor that has been published, read their work. Do you like it? Is it along the same lines as what you are writing? You're going to want to find someone who not only is GOOD at what they do (and you often won't know until you try), but also there is no point asking a speculative author to edit your womens' fiction.

Two: Don't jump at the first chance. Chat with the editor, even ask if they would be willing to read one to two pages before you commit. Most freelance editors are fairly inexpensive, but don't spend money until you're sure. Read their recommendations. Talk to others who have worked with that person. It'll be time worth spent.

Three: Be willing to take instruction. Don't go into such a working relationship with the idea that your work is perfect and you are expecting a pat on the back. Look at the editor is saying. Does it make sense? Do you see the validity in what he/she is saying? Then make the changes. DO be aware of completely changing your work until it doesn't sound like you. If you see this happening, the editor is probably not for you.

Christian Freelance Editors:

Tiffany Colter (freelance editor)

Gina Holmes (published author/ freelance editor)

Kaye Dacus (published author/ freelance editor)

Christina Berry (published author/ freelance editor)

Mary DeMuth (published author/ freelance editor)

Rachel Hauck (published author/ freelance editor)

Susan May Warren (published author / freelance editor)

Tracy Ruckman (freelance editor)

Camy Tang (published author / freelance editor)

WIES Editing Service

Meredith Efken (published author / freelance editor)

Writer's Online Classes

My Book Therapy Chat sessions (every Monday)

Margie Lawson (HIGHLY recommended! I can't TELL you how wonderful she has been for my writing)

ACFW member's only monthly classes

WIES Workshops (taught by different Christian authors in different months)

Christian Industry Help Sites

Literay Agent Rachelle Gardner  (blog)

Literay Agent Chip MacGregor (blog- no longer active, but archive posts are up for review)

Literary Agent Steve Laube (blog)

Author Jody Hedlund (blog)

Seekerville (blog)

Author Camy Tang (blog)

Author Mary DeMuth (blog)

My Book Therapy Blog

What sites or editors do you have to share that have been helpful?

**In honor of our chat about editing and making our work STRONGER, leave a comment for a chance to win a 5 page critique.**

What's Up The Street For Next Week?

I think we would get an unanimous vote if I asked everyone if they are ready for spring.

And in utter defiance to the 19 degrees we had here this morning and the snow that fell yesterday along with the hail and sprinkles of sunshine, I am going to have pictures of my favorite spring flower on the blog.

Think it will encourage our weather??

THINK POSITIVE. It will! :-)

So, let's find out what is up on the Alley for this coming week. (sunshine pleaseeeee)

The laptop is a distraction, email, Facebook, blogging, what's a writer to do? Angie has suggestions, and one that might actually surprise you.

Julia is your hostess this Tuesday.  Her topic is "Writing is a Team Sport: Getting the Most from a Face to Face Writer's Group."


Need a Self-Editing Check list handy, you are sure to forget something while running through that manuscript. Sarah is starting her new series here on the Alley on Wednesday.

Ever find yourself in those moments between writing the new WIP and editing the last? Wendy knows just what you are talking about! Check out her post on Thursday for tips on that very subject.

Friday brings with it Cindy's sweet smile and writing tips on how to plot your novel and a list of steps to give your new ideas!

Alley Newstand

Ruth Logan Herne has been "Cold Called" on Casey's blog! Be sure and check out the post and submit YOUR question for Ruth to answer. :-)

The Genesis is now CLOSED! Did you enter? You still have time to enter The Frasier!

Check out the Seekerville contest update here

Margie Lawson teaches courses online to help you grow in your craft and Casey can personally vouch for her excellent teaching style. Check out her list of upcoming classes online now!

Details can be found about the Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Conference here 

There are new details popping up all the time for the coming ACFW conference. Are you going??

Have a GREAT weekend from those on the Alley to you!

(And may Spring SPRING soon! :-)