C.O.M.F.O.R.T. Food ...For the LOOOONG Wait

www.cafepress.com

WAITING IS HARD! It's the constant 'not knowing' that gnaws at our core. And sometimes, people just don't know what to do or say for those of us who are hurting...or waiting.

There is nothing inherently wrong with telling someone to “hang in there” or “it will all work out fine” or “your time is coming” or “I’m sure it will be for your best”- Bless your heart :)

But while we’re waiting, whether it be from the delivery of a fourth kid (and I put fourth because there is a DISTINCT difference between waiting for number 1 and number 4), the results of a biopsy, the funeral march, a solder’s return, or an editor’s answer- there is just some advice that’s less appealing than other types :)

As a published-author-wannabe, the waiting game happens A LOT!! Ruth Logan Herne says it doesn't change much AFTER publication, so hopefully this post will encourage the Publishing Spectrum of people out there.

This stir-crazy game of ‘what if’ and ‘maybe’ can dig a hole in our self-confidence like little else. 

For a profession filled with words, sometimes words aren't enough to quell the worry.

Christians have a particular advantage in this waiting game.

No, being a Christian doesn't mean you automatically write better and have more compelling stories (yeah, wouldn't that be a nice fix, right?) – however, it does mean that your perspective is different while you wait. It doesn't mean you don’t still roll your eyes when some well-meaning person puts her arm around you and says, “Well God’s got a plan.” But it DOES mean our minds understand the Sovereignty of God more than our hearts at the present. We know He’s in control. He works all things to our good. He loves us with an everlasting love. All the days planned for your life were set in place before you even lived one of them.

Yeah – totally awesome, right?!?

Our brains GET IT...our hearts might be processing at a slower speed, especially during the LONG wait!

So what are some other ways we can encourage the heart to catch up with the head while we wait? 

http://www.8womendream.com/wp-content/uploads/comfort-food-and-emotional-eating.jpg

Well, as a good ol Southern girl, I’m going to turn to what comes naturally.

C.O.M.F.O.R.T.  Food!

When our hearts need a solid tip in a positive direction, here are some things to keep in mind.

C: Chocolate, duh! Or whatever your or your friend's particular comfort food is. When words aren't enough, sometimes the simple act of sharing an important meal or succulent snack communicates TONS more than words.

O: Optimize your strengths - Remember what you are doing well, OR help your friend remember this. Sometimes you or your friend need to be talked off the cliff. Sweet platitudes can be nice, but realistic options  and REMINDERS soothe all the more. 
What are your or your friends strengths? Asking questions like - Haven't you finaled in 2 contests lately? What were some of the comments from those to show you what you are doing well? Your agent said the editor really liked this aspect of your writing, how can you promote this more?

M: Merriment – humor is a necessary comfort of life. Laughing is an internal massage. (And WHO doesn't like a massage) Watch a fun show/movie, visit a friend who 'makes you smile', tickle babies just to hear that FANTASTIC laugh, write a kissing scene...etc

F: Friendship – Knowing you’re not alone in this crazy business makes the path so much lighter. Just BEING there, may take the need for words away altogether...so be a friend or find a friend. If the friend happens to be a writer too, it's all the more comfort because they understand. Hugs happen without words, and though cyberhugs aren't AS fabulous as the real thing, the knowledge of someone loving you enough to send one makes a BIG difference during the 'waiting' game.

O: Open for Rant – provide an atmosphere that encourages honesty without judgment. It's important for EVERY PERSON to have a 'safe' place to go spill their hearts and know they're loved. Sometimes there is no need for a ‘fix’, just an opportunity to ‘lose it’ with someone who loves you. Provide the opportunity...or TAKE the opportunity. It's an amazingly freeing experience.

R: Right Perspective- provide fear fighters to help turn to right perspective.  The Bible is great for this! Reminding ourselves of WHO WE ARE in Christ, is the biggest fear-fighter out there. If your friend needs a gentle nudge toward 'right thinking', an encouraging verse or vote of confidence in her writing might do the trick. Truth versus lie stuff. Self-doubt plays cruel tricks on our confidence, so having a loving friend build you up and keep your eyes on Christ, can help shift your perspective. REMEMBER - make it sincere. People in the throes of the wait can sniff out false encouragement like a hungry coon dog ;-)

T: Tips to ponder while you wait. KEEP MOVING FORWARD....Practical reminders like:

1.       Are you working on another book so you can be ready when they contact you?

2.       Have you been direct with your agent about what you need from him/her in your relationship?

3.       What ways can you work on building your platform while you wait? (internet? Speaking? Contacts?)

So, do you have any Comfort Food to add to the list? How have people in your life given COMFORT food to you while you've been waiting. The Alley CATS have been my haven - and many of the Seekers have been my encouragement too. What about you? How have you provided COMFORT food to one of your writing friends? :-)