Top Ten Ways to Know You're Married to an 'Alley Cat'

This is certainly an oldie, but after a week away with my man, I am trying to get back into the writing groove so I thought I would share this fun perspective. I will also be guest posting on a couple of blogs this week so check it out at Seekerville Wednesday and Robin E. Mason's website Thursday!

Hope you have a great Memorial Day and remember all those real-life heroes who died so we might be free!


--Angie



First time ever...we are letting an Alley Cat Spouse post, I think....Hmmm...will it be the last? This is my husband, Cody. Enjoy! 

-Angie Dicken

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I don’t know much about Twitter, and even less about blogs. But one thing I do know, is that the number of ‘followers’ you have is a precious statistic in either of these virtual worlds. It’s the barometer of how solid your content it; how much impact you are making in near infinite battleground of the blogosphere.

One day this week my oldest son was telling me some things he learned about his Mom’s blog, “The Writer’s Alley”. He told me they had 650,000 followers. 650,000?!? No way. I’m proud of the 19 I’ve got on Twitter. And Garth Brooks only has 21,000 followers.  

So we were together in the pickup and I thought I’d ask how many she actually had. Now I don’t remember the answer, or if I even got one. But somehow I was dumb enough to open my mouth and suggest that I could come up with a post describing the husband’s perspective of an ‘Alley Cat’. So It is my privilege to put pen to paper for the purpose of sharing a fresh and daring perspective in these hallowed halls with my first, and almost certainly only, guest appearance on the “The Writer’s Alley”.

I don’t have very much experience writing blog posts, or really writing anything other than my name on the bottom of a speeding ticket. But I do have an eye for the posting format that hits the ‘sweet spot’. Where you maximize the reader’s interest, while at the same time minimizing the writers need to think and organize.  Yep, I’m going with the tried and true ‘Top Ten’ list.

So without further delay, I present to you the faithful Writer’s Alley followers, all 650,000 of you, the Top Ten Ways to Know You’re Married to an ‘Alley Cat’.

#10: For 45 minutes to an hour a day she clasps her iPhone tightly in her hand texting away with her ‘Crit Partner’, grinning from ear to ear, continuously giggling, and periodically snorting.

#9: It doesn’t matter where your favorite college football team is playing, how good the fishing report is, or if your job calls you on a business trip. The third weekend in September she will be out of town to the ACFW conference and you better just be ready to spend the weekend babysitting, buddy.

#8: At least once a year, and possibly twice, you will be asked to provide ‘tech support’ to ensure that the house’s WiFi is fully functional and that the latest version of Skype is installed to facilitate a 4-hour virtual laugh-fest that just really gets going around 10:30PM when the Australian girl is good and awake.

#7: Your favorite NFL team will most certainly be playing NBC’s Sunday Night Football each and every time it is her turn to post the Monday morning blog. You know this because you will miss the third quarter, and the most important play of the game, while you proofread her post for her.

#6: When you see her working away on her latest entry for the ‘Genesis Competition’, you know to keep your head down or else you will be summoned to read the chapter she is working on…for the fourth time.

#5: If you you’ve ever been to Kinko’s twice in one day to print the same 300 page manuscript…because the page numbers were 1/32nd of an inch too far to the right.

#4:  You have come to expect that when you are on a long car trip she will ask you if she can read just a few pages to you.

#3:  You have come to accept that when she asks you if she can read just a few pages to you, she really means just a few chapters.

#2: Your conversations at home include the characters in her stories so often that you start to think they are real people. And you actually start to miss them a little bit when she moves on to the next book.

#1: If she has been too busy and exhausted coordinating getting four kids through the first week of school, you will be asked to write her post for her on “The Writer’s Alley”.

Have a great day!

Top 10 Not-So-Brilliant Reasons to Self-Publish

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

I always said I would never self-publish.

Not because of any stereotype, but just because I didn't want to.

But here I am, in the midst of preparing to do just that.

The reasons to self-publish vary, and I'll be sharing my OWN journey to that in two weeks.

I thought I'd use today to detail some not-so-stellar (in my personal opinion) reasons to self-publish.

10.) Because publishers are aliens who have come from outerspace to steal all your profits. 

(Most) publishers goals are for you to sell a boat-load of books and that you BOTH make a ton of money. If you are approaching self-publishing just because you think publishers are stupid and greedy, then your motivation is out-of-whack, and it won't bode well on your future success.

9.) Because publishers/editors/agents are telling you that your writing reeks of sour milk, so you are going to take your curdles and do it yourself, dad gum it.

Telling someone their craft needs improvement isn't always easy. So if multiple people are telling you this, and you decide YOU are right and THEY are idiots, and put your stuff out there anyway, then you have a great potential of publishing sub-par material. No writer wants that.

8.) Because you'll be the next SHACK success...

Odds are, you won't. Sometimes the truth just hurts.

7.) Because you want to quit your day job with all your plethora of earnings... (since those publishers aren't taking their greedy profits...)

Maybe just take a few vacation days first just to see....

6.) Because you have an eye on a nice Corvette....

see #8

5.) All your friends told you to...

If you friends tell you to jump off a bridge, would you do that too?

4.) It's just so EASY...

Easy is in the eye of the beholder. If you're going into self-publishing thinking you can just slap some words on a paper, use MS Publisher and already downloaded clipart to make a really cool cover, and click a few buttons in Createspace and WOOT, a book is done, 24 hours later... You are mistaken.

You might have a book out there.... but you also might not have readers either.

3.) You'll finally have READERS...

You know the age old question, if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it... did it really make any sound?

Well, if a book is put on Amazon for purchase but no one knows about it, will you have readers? (beside your mother and family....)

While it is fine to want people to read your book, the desire for readers alone is not a good reason for self-publishing. (there is one exception to this, see my post in 2 weeks for that!)

2.) Because I want to publish the super secret story about my ex-boyfriend and let the world know what a cheater he is...

I've never heard of anyone doing this. The more I think about it, it might be kinda funny, although not very Christian regarding the whole "revenge is mine" says the Lord thing...

Regardless, telling someone else's story without their permission when you have no right to it probably wouldn't be a great idea. (have a lawyer handy....)

1.) Just because.

I mean, well, you can do it just because. But it's kinda a dumb reason. Just sayin'...

Anyone have some reasons, silly or real, to NOT self-publish? 

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Krista is a follower of Jesus, a wife, a mother, and author of Sandwich, With a Side of Romance . She blogs about finding JOY in the journey of LIFE at http://www.kristaphillips.com. She is represented by Rachelle Gardner.

Top 10 Ideas for Beating the Contest Blues, Part I

Photo by Kalexanderson

Contest results are coming in and many writers are now drowning in the depths of despair. They open their email only to find their name is not on the list of finalists. They didn't make it. They are not good enough. And then they open up the feedback on their contest submission.

What? One judge gave them a 95 and one judge gave them a 68? How in the world does that happen?

REMEMBER THIS: Judging stories is subjective! You may have a judge who has had a bad day. Or you may get a judge who really likes historical, but got stuck judging contemporary. Yeah, it happens.

So what's a person to do when they get these crazy, downer scores? Well, Casey and I are putting our heads together and have come up with a TOP TEN list of things to encourage you during the Contest Blues. (I have to admit...some of mine are a wee bit silly!)

#10  Go to your room and SCREAM and CRY and throw pillows at the wall. Okay, so you don't really have to scream, but go ahead and boo-hoo some. You have to get this out of the way, because face it, getting bummer scores hurts. You have to let out the hurt and the anger before you can move forward. So get it all out and then breathe in deep. Now you are ready for number 9.

#9  Get on Facebook or Twitter and give a shout out to the winners or finalists of the contest you didn't win/final. Yes, you can do it. Be a gracious non-winner (I refuse to say loser, because anyone who is brave enough to share their work in a contest is a HUGE winner!) and cheer others on! This is an excellent way to be like Christ and encourage others.

#8  Go to Barnes and Noble and purchase a couple of books you have been wanting to read, but haven't because you've been too busy writing. Splurge! Then hunker down on the couch or in bed, and read to your heart's content!

#7  Pity Party Time! Okay, so maybe leave off the PITY part. But seriously, gather a friend...or two, or three, or four...and go out to eat. See a movie. Have a slumber party. Go dance in a chair...oh wait...Casey may be using that idea!!!! (snicker) Get out and have some fun!

#6  Study up on a writing craft book. Grab a highlighter and glean writing nuggets to strengthen your writing. If you have gotten feedback from your contest judges, all saying you need to focus on character development, then study up on that. If dialogue was scored low, then find a good source to teach you how to do it right. There are so many tools out there to help you become the writer God has gifted you to be!

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This is the end of Part I of Top Ten Ideas for Beating the Contest Blues. Casey will pick up on Friday with Part II, so don't miss out!

Have you ever experienced the Contest Blues? How have you coped?

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This post is brought to you by

 Sherrinda Ketchersid

Sherrinda is wife to "Pastor John" and mother to three giant sons and one gorgeous daughter. A born and bred Texan, she writes historical romance filled with fun, faith, and forever love.

How to Find Mr. Write at a Writer's Conference!

Here on the alley, we have a certain (unnamed) single young alleycat who us married, experienced alleycats are trying to mentor through the throws of dating.

This certain alleycat will be attending conference next month, so I thought I'd share tips to both her and any other single ladies out there hoping to catch a hunka-hunka writerman at a conference.

Here goes:

TEN WAYS TO CATCH MR. WRITE AT A WRITER'S CONFERENCE

1. Upon check-in at the hotel, scope out all the single men (aka wedding-ringless guys.) Find a cute one?? GOOD! Use your stealth researching skills to find out EVERYTHING you can about him. Ask his friends. Take pictures using your handy-dandy smart phone or camera, but be discrete! Use plants and bellhops to hide behind.
2. Speaking of bellhops... pretend to mistake said hotty for a bellhop. Hand him your bag, then proceed to run your hand over his bicep (he does have one, right???) and say, "Thank you sooooo much for taking care of my bag. You have such strong muscles... why, I'm sure you could carry me if you needed to!" (note, may want to scratch that last part if you are like me and a little, uh, pleasantly plump...
3. Sit next to hunka man at lunch, and GUSH over his project in front of the agent/editor at the table. Then bat your eyelashes at him and wink every time he looks at you.
4. Happen to run into him between sessions so he has to put his arms around you to steady you (wear heels to make this more realistic) then look deep into his eyes and catch your breath and say, “Oh, my.”
5. Write him little notes (it IS a writer's conference after all) and slide them under his hotel room door. OH, and put on a bunch of lipstick and kiss the notes too, so they are "sealed with a kiss."
6. Wear a wedding dress on banquet night. He'll get the hint!

7. When in your agent/editor appointment, pitch HIS project instead of yours. (Wait, nevermind. This is going a little TOO far! Those editor/agent appointments are YOURS, girl! Use 'em!)
8. Sitting next to him in a class... start to cry. Like loud, sobbing crys. He'll have to console you, right?
9. On banquet night (in your wedding dress) storm the stage, steal the microphone from Brandilyn, and announce your undying love to hunka-hunka man and ask him to marry you.
10. Ignore #1 - 9, in fact do the exact opposite of all the things listed above. (If you remember from my post 2 weeks ago... I really DO like the movie, "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days"!)

So now that we have that important stuff out of the way, thought I'd leave you with a few REAL tips on catching Mr./Ms./Mrs. WRITE AGENT/EDITOR.

1. Be professional, but also be yourself.
2. Know your stuff before hand. Practice your pitch and your one-liner until you are comfortable with it.
3. BE CONFIDENT. But not too confident. No "this might sell okay" but also no "OHMAGOSH this is THE next bestSELLER!"
4. Look the part. Don't go in there with cutoff jeans and a Tshirt. You are a professional trying to sell yourself as an author and your manuscript as a potential book. You don't need to wear a 3 piece suit, but business-casual is totally appropriate.
5. Be courteous. Don't corner them in the bathroom. Don't monopolize time at the dinner table to the point that they can't eat a bite of food, or no one else gets a moment to talk.
6. Don't get defensive. Chances are, you might get some not-so-welcome feedback. Accept it. Thank them for it. Digest it later. Burning bridges is a NO NO! It WILL come back to bite you.
7. Don't give up. Just because one person turns you down doesn't mean the next one will. I had three appointments one year. One was "not bad, but here are a few things to work on." One was "I like it!" One was "This royally sucks." Looking back, in a way, they were ALL right. The project was a good one, but needed a lot of work!
8. Bring the best. Edit, Edit, Edit. Silly mistakes (of which I am QUEEN) leave a bad taste.
9. Know your stuff. What agents/editors will be there? What are they looking for? Look at their pictures and names so you can recognize them. I once asked an agent "what are you writing" trying to be nice since she said it was her first conference. She said, "Oh, I'm an agent. It's my first time at this particular conference. What do YOU write?" She was sweet, but I was quite embarrassed!!! I also once booked an appointment with an agent who I found out later "only wanted to meet with published authors looking for new representation." Well then...
10. Above all, PRAY PRAY PRAY. I'm a big believer in divine appointments. If you are truly seeking God's will, you can't mess things up. God can use even your biggest mistakes to bring about His purposes. 

 For those of you who have pitched at conference before... any tips you have for newbies? For those of you who haven't, any fears/questions/thoughts?

Writing Time Management for the Harried Home-Writer

I am the last person you would expect to see this post written by. But as a writer who can have a hard time staying focused, writes or participates in four blogs, tries to stay on top of social media, chores around the house, the last minute substitute jobs and squeeze in half a dozen book reviews a month, I might have a few suggestions.


I might not have kids, but I have enough to replace them. Ha! Someday this list of activities is going to need to be scaled back, but until then…


Here are a few suggestions (10 to be exact), but please know they aren’t mutually exclusive and you might find that NONE of them work, but you won’t know something unless you try, which brings me to number one…


1) You won’t know something unless you try

You won’t know if you can write a 1000 words in a day or edit for hours on end until you TRY. The best way to figure out what works is to just do it. If it doesn’t, maybe you will figure out what WILL work. Trial and error.






2) For the times you work, turn off all social media


During those times, no matter how long or short, turn off the social media. For me I exit out of Tweetdeck. It automatically loads a new tweet when it comes through, so I often get rid of it. I do leave the internet connected, because I’m weird and like the chocolate in the freezer, if it’s there I don’t want it.






3) Set time constraints


I literally work in 15 minute increments. I set the timer, don’t TOUCH my email during that time and edit for 15 minutes solid. I can easily be distracted when I’m editing, and this FORCES me to keep my tail in the chair and work. 15 minutes is an easy goal for me to reach and when I reach it, I give myself a little reward.






4) And no, it isn’t chocolate…


When those 15 minutes are up, I can then check my emails or blogger feed. I have set a goal for myself to get my WIP edited by the ACFW conference. At the pace I am at, that means I need to be editing at least three pages a day or more, five days a week. Which means my blogging day (Friday) has been taken over to do my edits. So during those moments between 15 minute sessions, you’ll most often find me blogging. I take a few minutes and write a post, start one or answer a comment. I have over two weeks scheduled for OEA and almost all of next week done for my personal blog. Keep these breaks realistic. 5-10 minutes at the MOST. Otherwise you can get carried away.




5) Set a writing time


This one might be harder for many moms and working writers to put into action, but I bet if you look, it’s not as hard as you think. I write everyday (or rather work on my computer) from 7:30 in the morning until about 2 in the afternoon. I blog, check my social sites a couple times and work on my writing. I try to stay off of Facebook as much as I can during that time. During blogging, I keep my time short, though I don’t view it as detrimental to my writing time as Facebook. If it starts infringing, it’s back to the bottom of the list.






6) Work in short sequences of time

This pretty much goes hand in hand with the 15 minute session tip. If you can’t find a few minutes during the day to sit and WRITE, then have the computer out in the open and give yourself permission to scribble something as you walk by. If you are going to be serious about this, then you have to be willing to write on the go. We don’t always get the perfect sit down and write time we want.






7) Set priorities


What is your goal for today? Write 500 words? Edit a page? Then make sure you do it. Because if you get too far behind on your goal, then you will be even LESS motivated to work on it the next day. No one expects you to answer an email the minute you get it. Your fiction is more important and if you have 15 minutes to work, don’t spend it checking email.






8) Keep moving


During those periods of writing, keep moving. Every hour or so stand up, move around and keep the blood moving. You are more prone to want to work longer if you take a few breaks to move around. So start the laundry and then power walk back to the computer. ;-)






9) When life happens…write anyway!


Picture this…I have a perfect day of writing planned. Then the phone rings and someone is sick and I need to sub. First...THANK GOD for the work, then…oh BEHIND ON WRITING. Some days are not going to be writing days and you have to give yourself permission to accept that. But don’t give a flimsy excuse that this will just have to be a “no writing” day. And if it is a “no writing” day, then hope you get a good day in tomorrow. If you can legitimately scrounge up even an ounce of energy to work, you need to do it. Develops good stamina for a deadline someday. ;-)






10) To avoid spending those 15 minutes staring at the screen…


Have a few notes from the previous day on what you wanted to work on today. When I start my edits, I go back and read what I changed the day before (usually five or so pages.) Fix spelling errors, awkward sentences and keep going. You’ll be on a roll. Chances are you will spot mistakes from the day before. Repeat this process every day.




What are your suggestions for writing in time crunches?

10 Things I Learned About Writing in 2010 (Often the Hard Way)

1) It all starts with a blog.  Not that blogging is essential for a writer, but for me this jumpstarted my writing process in 2010.  Blogging led to more interest in writing, which led to reviewing...all of which led to more connections with wonderful online friends.

2) I have been surprised that I have learned nearly as much about my own writing by critiquing other's pieces as I have by having my pieces critiqued.  God uses other people's writing to show me the strengths and weaknesses of my own writing.

3) In 2010 I have been learning the true meaning of "sloppy copy."  As a perfectionist, it sure doesn't come naturally to me.  I have been learning how my inner critic has slowed down my productivity.

4) Reputation does matter.  BIG time.  People are watching, we need to remember this as Christian writers.  Watch who you accept as friends, even if it is as simple as who you follow on Goodreads and Twitter.

5) Not every "opportunity" is a door we need to step through.  Satan is subtle in trying to get us to compromise our witness.  And we need to be just as careful with opportunities in the Christian market.  I have sadly learned this the hard way in 2010, several times.

6) A good critique is worth its weight in gold.  I have had the fortunate experience of being critiqued by a few wonderful people in 2010.  My experience is that there's nearly always at least a kernel of truth in every critique.

7) I believe the quality of books you write will never exceed the quality of books you read.  I have sadly wasted time on books in 2010 and I hope to be more choosy about my reads in 2011 by cutting down on reviewing commitments.

8) Its when my writing truly contains a piece of my brokenness and is stripped of pride that He can use it most.  Ouch, it hurts to write these things to bleed out on the page.

9) Published authors are "regular folk."  Yes, I know just how hick-ish this sounds, but I've been blown away by authors who have gone out of their way to help and bless me and so many others.

10) Always pray before you pick up that pen.  I have most definitely noticed the difference between times when I do this and times when I don't.

What about you?  What has God taught you about writing craft in 2010?  

10 Editing Aspects To Watch For

There are a great many more than just these “top ten” and they aren’t even really the TOP of all that you should be looking for, but if you keep a reference sheet handy until the editing becomes like second nature, it will be easier to incorporate different aspect into the editing drafts, cutting down on how many times you go through your manuscript.

10: Dialogue and white space. These two things should be watched carefully. If you worry that your dialogue sounds stilted, then read it aloud, listening to know if it sounds stilted or if it flows. Listen with voice inflections and see if you added the appropriate dialogue tags and attribution. Don’t overdo the tags, but you need to make sure you just don’t have dialogue that leaves the reader wondering who is talking.

Keep paragraphs short, but be aware that these rules can be broken on occasion. But large blocks of writing will lead to a tendency to skim.

9: Head hopping. Watch to make sure you stay within one character’s head and point of view per scene. Who has the most to lose in this scene? That is the character you need to focus on. If you need to switch characters, be sure and warn your reader with a space or some kind of symbol that stays consistent the entire book through.

8: Historical detail. Even if you are writing a contemporary, you might make a reference to a historical event and if you get it wrong, your reader will find it and let you know about it. Use at least three sources, not just the internet when you verify those facts too.

7: Show don’t tell. This can be the hardest thing to understand and put into action. But some basic things to watch for is: do you have large blocks of writing with no dialogue? Just a statement of the facts instead of infusing sensory emotions to bring the story to life? Do you just simply state the character’s events, or do you walk them through it?

6: Infuse the senses. Bring the story world to life for your reader by knowing, visiting or reading and talking extensively with the people in that area. But don’t dump all five senses and verbose description of your setting on your reader in every chapter, or even paragraph or scene. Pay attention to your character’s mood and think about how that will make them perceive a certain situation. Infuse it gently, until it paints a picture in the reader’s mind.

5: Are your characters three dimensional? Do their actions match up with the angle you want them to go? This is vital to the story, because without characters you don’t have a story. They need to be loveable with flaws that they can conquer with Christ. Otherwise why read? Your characters need to form an arc from despair to an understanding of God’s love and their reconciliation of their flaws and the overcoming of their fears. If this isn’t accomplished, you need to go back and look for the potholes.

4: Watch your punctuation. Did you say it’s when you really meant its? Yes, editors will notice. Be on the watch and go with through each paragraph with a fine tooth comb and think through each contraction. Your manuscript needs to be as perfect as you can make it.

3: Avoid the “ly” words that drag down your writing and instead infuse them with strong past tense verbs and description that shows instead of tells. When you use an abundance of “ly” and “ing” words, you are cutting corners, weakening your writing and telling the story. The reader won’t feel any emotions or become immersed in the story.

2: Make sure that you keep your facts straight all through the story. Does your character have blond hair on page one and brown hair on page 250? Without seeing the hair stylist? Make sure you write these facts down and keep them straight; have an outline or pictures of your characters.

1: At this point you need to read through your work one more time. Fix what needs to be fixed. Make the changes you feel are necessary, but don’t work the piece until it becomes so stilted you won’t recognize it as your own. Find a critique partner or mentor and ask them to read it. Then go through it all over again! Submit and pray for God’s direction.

Go forth and edit!

No Conferences? HAKUNAH MATATA

What? You can't go to any Writing Conferences this year? Well, I have just one thing to say...

HAKUNAH MATATA

No worries...just chill out and pick out one of my Top 10 Things To Do When You Can't Go To A Conference. Let's shorten that up to T4DWYCGTAC, why don't we? I was going to be smart and write about backstory, but everyone else was writing about conferences, so I thought I'd join in the fun.

The countdown begins:

10. Stock the pantry with chocolate bon bons and the freezer with ice cream, and pig out for the duration of the conference. (Warning: Not Waistline Friendly!)

9. Have a slumber party and read your favorite romance scenes aloud to each other. Bring out the chocolate for a night of fun!

8. Read a book a day, preferably romance, where you can escape into sigh-inducing scenes and smile at happy endings.

7. Make up flyers announcing your future bestseller and post them in all the coffee shops and libraries in your area. Make sure to put a cute head shot of yourself. They say it's never to early to market yourself.

6. Subscribe to Netflix and have a sappy movie marathon day...or two...or three. Cry and laugh your heart out. You might want to have your bon bons close at hand.

5. Text your friends at the conference every 30 minutes, telling them how your word count has grown...and how theirs has not.

4. Send out 54 queries to random agents. You can pick any number to send out, but I prefer randomness. Who knows? You might hit the jackpot.

3. Go to Disneyland and devise a murder mystery involving Mickey Mouse, Cinderella, and the Big Bad Wolf. (Yes, I know the Big Bad Wolf is NOT a Disney character, thank you very much.)

2. Spend an hour in Barnes and Noble. Take one page from 300 books in the store and string them together for a Mad Lib Novel.

1. Watch the weather channel and drive to the nearest rainstorm. Let your hair down and dance a jig in the rain, screaming at the top of your lungs how much fun you are having instead of meeting famous authors.

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So those of you not going to any conferences this year, how do you intend to chase the blues away?

Sherrinda