Setting the Mood With Your First Lines - Part TWO

Hi all. Pepper here and I’m talking about first lines and genres again today because….

I get to brag about some of our Alley Pals and their work.

Two weeks ago I posted about first lines and genres using some of our very own AlleyCats’ work as fodder. Today, it’s time to show off more talent from a few of our subscribers.

If you remember from my last post, first lines ‘set the stage’ for the rest of your novel. By the end of the first page, even the first paragraph, a readers should know what sort of book their getting themselves into J

Your first few lines are your biggest hooks and can even be a tool for some of your very first foreshadowing. Let's look at a few examples from published authors.

I love Julie Lessman’s books and she has a FABULOUS first line in her debut (award winning) novel, A Passion Most Pure.

Boston, Massachusetts, late summer, 1916

Sisters are overrated, she decided. Not all of them, of course, only the beautiful ones who never let you forget it.

What do we know about this novel already?

1.       It’s historical (and because we know it’s Julie Lessman we KNOW romance is burning at the seams of the novel)

2.       There’s going to be a bit of dry humor in it just from the first lines

3.       Sibling rivalry is inevitable (and that’s an example of some foreshadowing in the VERY first line) isn’t that GREAT!

We’re already setup for the story.

Or what about Beth Pattillo’s wonderful Jane Austen rewrites. Here’s the first few sentences from Mr. Darcy Ruined My Life.

I pulled the well-worn copy of Pride and Prejudice from my tote bag and stowed the bag under the seat in front of me. Last time I flew to England, I’d been in first class with Edward, my ex. First class, where they insist that you accept hot towels and champagne along with extra blankets and pillows. Now I was in coach with my knees pressed up against the seat in front of me and the Battery Kind of Seattle at my left elbow. As it turned out, the only thing worse than having the man snore was having him wake up and start talking to me again.

What do we know?
1.       It’s contemporary

2.       There’s some sarcasm going on here too

3.       Heartbreak in the past and a trip to England in the present. Romance is DEFINITELY in the future.

Fabulous, the expectation has been set and the novel WILL deliver.

Speaking of Jane Austen – how did the classic novelist do it?

Pride and Prejudice’s well-loved beginning is this: It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighborhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of someone or other of their daughters.

What do we know?

1.       Contemporary for Austen’s time – historical for ours.

2.       Romance? Well, if she’s chatting about husbands and wives within the first line, it’s a good sign.

3.       Witty humor? You betcha!

So now it’s your turn. Let’s look at a few NEW lines from friends of the Alley and see if we can draw conclusions about genre and ‘feel’ based on those.

From Joanne Sher:

Thirteen years old. An adult in Hebrew society.

But Michal's actions showed the opposite. She was remarkably helpless. Remarkably stubborn. Remarkably spoiled. Ashia's job was not, it seemed, to serve a young lady, but a toddler in a woman's body. And today promised to be full of tantrums.

Ooo, great start. So what can we guess from this?

1.      Biblical fiction.

2.      A little more serious, but a definite hook of interest.

3.      How will Michal change? And what will this tantrum look like? Curiosity forces me to want to read the next paragraph.

Julie Hilton Steele sent this one in:

“The key works best if you turn it.” Anna Newman froze at the sound of the deep, warm voice cascading down from somewhere behind her”

1.       I have an inside scoop to this. She’s probably begin the chapter with a ‘hint’ of a date, which would be some time during WWII. So it’s a historical piece.

2.       It certainly has a flare of mystery within the first two lines.

3.       Why is she using a key? Who is coming up behind her? Inquiring minds want to know. Good sign.

 From the computer of Mary Curry (and she tells us a lot with only ONE sentence)

There was nothing like a week-long vacation to make you need a month off.

1.       Most likely contemporary from the references
2.       A hint of humor (and a whole lot of truth J

3.       What kind of vacation would make the main character respond this way?

How about this one by Mary:

Mental illness ran in my mother’s family, or so my dad always claimed. You can see why I didn’t really think I could go to him for help when the visions started.

Hmm…. What can we guess?

1.     Contemporary
2.     Hint at spec fiction or fantasy with the whole ‘visions’ idea
3.     What sort of visions?

Carol Moncado sent in this one.

She was wearing an eye patch.
At church.
On Easter.

What do we know?

1.      Most likely contemporary

2.      Humor…without a doubt

3.      How on earth did she get an eyepatch? Curiosity pushes us to read more!

How about something a little 'different'? :-)
Ben Erlichman, 2011 Genesis Finalist and NEW DAD, sent this one:

Blood oozed from a bullet hole in Tommy Roebuck's chest, saturating the dust under his body.

AND yet another one:

Hunger drove Raven Worth to the big tent revival that night, but it wasn't what made him stay. Usually in such a public gathering he'd have lurked just beyond the edge of the crowd to scan the fringes for stragglers. In other settings he'd often harvest the ones who looked the most destitute or lonely. He could relate to them. He knew their pain.

(Isn't that a great protagonist's name...love it)

1. Contemporary
2. Darker flare, maybe murder mystery or thriller
3. Okay - so who shot Tommy Roebuck and who is this dark and creepy 'lurker' named Raven Worth?

How do you set the stage?

It’s Alley Pals show off day so bring your first few lines and let us guess. Are you setting up the reader in the way you want? Does the genre match what we guess?

Some are going to be harder to guess than others, but let’s give it a try.
********************************************************************

Pepper Basham is a Blue Ridge Mountains’ native, mom of five, pastor’s wife, and university instructor. She writes in various fictional genres but spices them all with grace and humor. She can be found at The Writers Alley, www.pepperbasham.wordpress.com, or in her imaginary world. Company always welcome.