H-Heeeeelp! CPR! ASAP! Something! I Just Head Hopped!

Head. Hopping.

I bet you hear those words more times than you care to admit. But before I head into a verbose description of why you don’t want to have it anywhere near your writing, let me make sure you all understand it and why it is a no-no. Let me see a show of hands. Yes, yes and oh dear, I see one of you poor newbies shaking your head in confusion. Head hopping? Are you crazy? How can you stand on someone’s head and leap from one to the other?


No, no, no, that isn’t what I am talking about. Though at times it would seem easier than trying to avoid it in your writing.

Head hopping is basically this: Leaving a character’s private and intimate thoughts to leap into another character’s emotions without warning to the reader.

Need another explanation. Sigh. I will try to write something….

Mary gazed out the bus window. The clouds fluffy blue against an azure sky. Jane across the aisle thought the same thing.

Poor I know, but that is what is. We were in Mary’s head at the beginning, we were seeing the sky through her point of view. But before the paragraph ended, we were inside Jane’s head. If we are inside Mary’s head, we can not see the sky the way Jane would.

Get it now?

Okay, let’s move on.

Sad to say, there are still authors out there- published even- that wish to add head hoping into their fiction. So you might be thinking that you can do it too right? Wrong.

Untried authors have a very little wiggle room for errors and one of the first things an editor will look for is if you are consistent with your POV (point of view). And if you are clear about whose head you are in, it will help separate your manuscript from the slush pile.

Head hoping is usually easy to fix and easy to spot. In most cases. But to make the change from one character’s head to another, put a space, an asterisk, or a symbol of some kind that is consistent through the whole of your book to separate one character’s thoughts and emotions from another.

One way I have heard staying true to one character’s POV is to literally get inside their skin. If you were this person, what would you be thinking? Unless your character is a mind reader, they should not know the thoughts of the character they are chatting with. They can interrupt what they think the other character is thinking, but it might not necessarily be accurate. That can lead to a great deal of angst, but that is for another week.

But there is another weasel that will infiltrate your fiction and is often the hardest to find. Below is an example and see if you can find the mistake.

Mary reached out to caress the soft rose petal, its velvet smoothness gliding between her fingers like silk. Jon's warm breath caressed her neck and she shivered, her heart thumping in her ears. Would he kiss her again? She squeezed her hands together and took a deep breath. Jon reached out a hand, hungry to feel the smoothness of her bare arm under his palm. The sleeveless blouse hugged her frame and he took a step closer. Mary spun and stared into his eyes, their deep pools, drowning her. She gulped.

Did you catch it? I went from Mary to Jon to back to Mary again. And that right there drives me c-r-a-z-y in fiction. It will turn me off a book faster than anything else. So make sure you watch for those moments and keep to one POV. If you want to get two in a scene, then describe in one POV and then make a space and do another POV. It is all about pacing and your reader will not mind back tracking to understand both character's thoughts.

Head hoping can sneak in other places too, places that weasel in the middle of the night to consume your work like a cancer.

Okay, maybe I don’t need to be so dramatic, but it can overflow your manuscript with red marks from the editor’s harsh pen. Keeping yourself firmly within your character’s head will clear up all problems. If you ever have a POV question, stop, and close your eyes. Think, “If I were this person, would I be thinking this? Would I know his thought? Would I know why he just crossed his arms?

And the answer to all of those questions is no.

When it comes right down to it, head hopping is a fairly easy mistake to clear up, but a common one to make.

While the popular and tried authors might be able to get away with it, it is really a lazy form of writing and should be nipped in the bud. Who knows, maybe that is what is standing between you and publication.