The SECRET to being a REAL writer

You want to be a REAL writer, right?

Well, there is one thing every real writer knows how to do WELL, so I'm going to let you in on how to MASTER this aspect of writing--so you can join the cool club too.

It is... the art of procrastinating.

Writer's are MASTERFUL at this and have it down to a science.

I'm currently working on a book and have a deadline looming. Let me just show you a little how it works....

You sit down to write---and remember that you need to start a load of laundry.

You start the load of laundry, and realize that your bladder needs to be emptied.

After you flush, you are thirsty, so you go to the kitchen and get a drink. A BIG drink.

Then you sit back down and think, hmmm, I should check email before I get started.

You do a few replies, send a few you needed to initiate yourself.

Might as well check Facebook too, just to make sure nothing huge needs your attention.

An hour later, you blink and nod--yup, all is well in the Facebook land--everyone is complaining as usual and there are still those stupid-but-hysterical viral videos you are now kinda caught up on.

You open your book to write and realize... you have to pee again.

After you flush, you realize the washing machine has stopped. You switch laundry and refill you drink in the kitchen, then sit down to write again.

Oh, but crap. You forgot about twitter. Thirty minutes later, after reading a few writing blogs industry professionals linked to, doing a few retweets, you crack your knuckles. It's writing ti--Oh. Wait. The dog is barking and wants to be let out, so you go outside, let him do his business, throw a stick around for a while, then come back in.


Dryer is done, might as well fold it while it's warm.

Come back to your computer, oh, better check and see if you've gotten any responses to email yet.

A few. You respond back.

You look at the clock. LUNCH TIME. What a busy morning, it's just flown by!

After lunch, you yawn. Geez, it's that time of day, Your brain wouldn't function anyway. Maybe a little power nap would help.

Three hours later---

Well, it's already late afternoon. Might as well call it a day and start again tomorrow.....

Not that I do ANY of these things. *ahem* (although I really don't do the 3 hour nap thing...only in my dreams anyway.... but figured you didn't need a detail of further bathroom trips....)

So... now you have it. The secret to being a real writer.

I should also add... real writers also do crazy things like take themselves to Panera sometimes, where they have black-out Internet times and no household chores that will beckon to them so they have no excuse but to write.

I know, I know, you can thank me later for all this brilliant advice on how to procrastinate too.

Now you TOO can do it like the pros do!!!!!!!!

Let's Chat! What are some brilliant ways YOU procrastinate... and maybe some ways to--um--not...??

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Krista is a follower of Jesus, a wife, a mother, and author of  

Sandwich, With a Side of Romance,  
A Side of Faith
A Side of Hope.

She blogs about finding JOY in the journey of LIFE at http://www.kristaphillips.com. She is represented by Sarah Freese of Wordserve Literary.

Writing Today for Tomorrow's World

"If you had sent this to me three weeks ago, I could have used it.," one editor said.  Gaack! Why didn't I think of doing this article sooner?

This month, many folk have talked about school starting. Come the second or third week of November, they'll talk about Thanksgiving get togethers.  About the second week of December, families will be inundated with Christmas programs, shopping, decorating, and holiday plans.  Writer's don't have the privilege of planning for an occassion one-to-two weeks in advance.

Creative is Crucial

June and July are prime months to send Christmas material to publishers.   While the sun blazes on the garden, we get to imagine crisp snow crunching under tires, pine scent in our living room, Christmas music and lights, wrapped packages, and a house full of guests wrapped around the dinning room table feasting on ham and watching Uncle Joe toss baby Jane to Uncle David--praying he doesn't drop her.  We must wipe the summer sweat from our brow and tap snowy words into our computer. Now that August is here, we need to think of New Year's and Valentine's Day.

Tyranny of Timeliness

For book writers, we get to anticipate reader's swing in interest two to three years down the road.  I finished my midevil Christian fantasy in time for vampires to shove Harry Potter off center stage.  Needless to say, even Christian publishers aren't interested in midevil Christian fantasy unless the writer has previously established himself in that market. Non fiction writers need to anticipate the needs of audiences in advance as well.  Our manuscripts must be ready to impact the readers of tomorrow not from today.

Hope
I don't have a crystal ball.  Nor do I want one.  In my frustration I might ask: how can I get published if I don't know what reader's will want?  Isn't it just luck--being in the right place at the right time--etc? 

Not at all. God will lead you. Chip McGregor, a Christian literary agent, has stated in his conference lectures: "If you writing is well done, it will get published."  Writer's who work to polish their craft will know what to write.  If you have a passion to write, follow through in a way that will get the words published.

Here are some tips: 

1. Plan Ahead:  If you are doing a Christmas piece, make sure it arrives to the publisher in time for him/her to push the manuscript through the ropes and on to publication to reach the readers before Christmas.  Magazine articles should be submitted six months in advance.  I'm not sure how far in advance a book manuscript needs to arrive, maybe someone can comment on that for me.

2. Spit Polished:  Save time by having your manuscript free of grammar errors, content problems, and issues with publisher requirements such as needed word count. Maybe a few steps can be saved and push your manuscript toward timely publication.

3. Respect:  Would you buy a Egg Nog in June?  Probably not.  Items are sold when a customer thinks to buy.  Some manufacturer somewhere thought to produce and market that item at the perfect time you thought to buy it.  Likewise publishers need time to choose manuscript, edit, send contracts, etc. before the published work can be offered to the public.  Check out the websites to determine publisher's needs and requirements.  Editors will respect you for your efforts and remember you.  He or she may not purchase your manuscript this time, but they might in the future.

4. Observe:  Keep an eye on events in the world around you.  Today's events may lead to tomorrow's responses. By staying tuned into what is going on now, you will better know what readers might need in the days to come.

Did your manuscript sell because it arrived on time?  Do you have woes, like me, because it arrived after the cut off time?  Share your experience.