HELP! My family hates when I write....

"Moooommmmmmm... are you writing.. AGAIN?"

"Honey, are we really having frozen chicken nuggets for dinner... again?"

"Mooommmmmmmm.... You tell me *I* can't be on the computer, then why can YOU?"

"You write? I mean, are you published? Huh. How much did it cost you?"

"Honey, what's the point? You're not making any money anyway..."

That last line makes me cringe. My spouse has never said it to me, but I've heard of many who have, and I'd love to have a nice long chat with them.

The dynamics of writing are an interesting one when it comes to dealing with your family, especially if they aren't the "writer" type. Sometimes it's hard to understand how investing so much time and energy, many times with years of no monetary validation.

While I've been blessed to have a family who supports me, I've also done a few things to help keep it that way. Because there have definitely been moments when their patience for my "career" has waned.

1.) Protect your FAMILY time. I have times when I HAVE to write, especially when a deadline looms. But in non-deadline times, I make sure I protect my family time. Oh goodness. I just typed that, and a billion times when I have NOT done so flashed before my eyes. Yeah, I need to get better at this.

2.) Protect your WRITING time. Just like you need to protect your time with your family, put aside time for your writing though. I have a few WRITING ONLY times scheduled into my week that NOTHING gets in the way with. Messy house? It can wait. The only exception is emergencies or sick kids. They always trump writing:-)

3.) INVOLVE your family. If I'm having a plot point problem, sometimes it becomes a topic of conversation around the table. I LOVE brainstorming with my family. Eh, sometimes they don't care, but other times, they catch the story-crafting bug and start throwing out ideas. Even if they are all horrible, it feels good that they try. And in the case of my first book, Sandwich with a Side of Romance, my daughter actually helped me brainstorm the start of the book!!

4.) Have a family meeting. Don't roll your eyes at me! Seriously, if you feel like you're always getting slack for writing, sit down as a family and discuss it. I did this recently. I'm gearing up for my next book to come out late summer and am knee deep in writing stuff to do, and I was starting to get comments (mostly from my kids) about Mommy getting to go write and they had to sit at home and... play? Oh BOOHOO I say! Basically, I reminded them that while I do enjoy writing (most--some--of the time) it's also my JOB. The IRS recognizes this, and they need to as well! Just like I used to go to work everyday, I need to write everyday.

5.) Have Patience. If all else fails, just be patient. Sometimes they just won't get it. And that's okay. Love them anyway. Write anyway. When you DO get published, their eyes will perk up:-)

Discussion: How does your family feel about your writing? Do you ever struggle with justifying the time you spend writing?

(photo by freedigitalphotos.com)

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Krista is a follower of Jesus, a wife, a mother, and author of Sandwich, With a Side of Romance . She blogs about finding JOY in the journey of LIFE at http://www.kristaphillips.com. She is represented by Rachelle Gardner.

 

My Top Nine (Ten?) Christmas Moments

A Merry and Bright Christmas!

I hope you have had a wonderful Christmas weekend, among family, and most importantly, focusing on the God who bestowed a wonderful gift to us in His son, Christ Jesus!

I decided to give you a top 9 Christmas moment countdown of my life (I wasn't really present for number 1 :)). Even though these are quick glimpses into my life, I can reflect on each memory and see it as potential brainstorming material for writing authentic characters, grounded themes, or believable progressions in my fiction. Because they are from my own story, I can remember the feelings, the smells, sounds, and impressions made...giving me a whole bunch of templates to choose from!

Do you find parts of yourself or your story layered within your fiction?

10. Redefined Focus: A 9 year old girl learns that Santa isn't real, and appropriately remembers it most by her dad's blaring of Jesus Is Born Today! by the Oakridge Boys.

9. Pure Child-like Joy: A 7th grader jumps up and down like a preschooler when her Christmas culminates in a Nintendo gaming system!

8. A character stepping forward from the faith line: A newly saved college student drags her dad and sisters to church on Christmas morning.

7. Love brings fullness: A couple celebrates their first Christmas together in a tiny apartment, but with lots of love and family all around.

6. Redefining goals: New parents spend their Christmas day dragging their 4 month old son from house to house, and swear that they will start their own traditions next year!

5. First impressions can be misleading: On Christmas Eve, a 15 month old boy runs through the house and shuts himself in the bathroom when a loud noise might mean that scary Santa has arrived.

4. Obstacles towards a climactic point: A soon-to-be mother of two, watches the clock strike midnight on Christmas eve/day, in a labor and delivery unit, only to be sent home a couple of hours later, with no baby yet!

White Christmas 2010

3. A perfect blend of character and motives: A family of four prepares for a cozy Christmas, with hot chocolate, Christmas movies, and two little boys who can't wait to see Santa and give him their list!

2.  Simple truths: A family of five, almost six, celebrate Christ's birth and the joy of gifts, on a very white Midwest Christmas day!

A very young couple!

1. Ultimate inspiration:  A young couple birth a special baby boy, among the rejoicing of angels and the humility of shepherds,  eventually changing the hearts of generations until the end of time.