Equall-Yoked POVs

I have about three or four books half-read at any time. I usually read the first few chapters, then get distracted by my crazy life or the inspiration to continue on my wip. Usually, I have at least read enough of each novel to know whose pov will be used. And since I read mostly romance novels, the typical povs used in one novel are the hero's and the heroine's.

One of the recent books in my reading list began in the perspective of the hero. It was intriguing, mysterious, unusual, and top-notch.

And then enters the heroine.

While she had some significant issues, the craft that shone in the hero's perspective was lacking in her's. I couldn't believe that the two povs were even written by the same person. Perhaps, I should read further and get comfortable with the heroine, but once I got back to the hero's pov, I sighed relief because it was interesting again!

So, after talking with my fellow Alley Cats, I think I have a grip on what makes alternating povs successful.

At first, I thought, well, maybe the reason I had such a hard time reading the above book was because the author went from “showing” the hero's situation, feelings, stakes, to using a LOT of telling with the heroine. But the Alley Cats talked about books they have read where the author was successful in this way, and come to think of it, I have read a few that use telling as part of the “voice” of a character.

So then, I thought about the stakes. Perhaps, each character should have the same intensity of what's at stake. If life is on the edge for one character, then it should be on the edge for the other. But that doesn't really work in real life or fiction.

Maybe it was voice. Maybe the voices of each character were too different, too simplistic for one and too complex for the other. But just the thought of that stirred my creative juices and I want to tackle that idea at some point in my own writing!

I kept trying to put my finger on it, wondering why I had such an issue with these unequally yolked povs. Every point I thought about, had some sort of exception. And as I sat down to write this post, it finally hit me...Whether you “show” with one character, and “tell” with the other, whether one character is in a “life” threatening situation, and the other is sitting by enjoying life, whether one character is a man and the other a woman, there is something very important needed when writing two different point-of-views:

CONSISTENT CRAFT

Each pov in a book must be as well-written as the other. It's as simple as that. If you don't have it in you to write a character well, if you feel like you are much more inspired by one character over the other, then seriously think about nixing that pov...or spicing up that character so that you care to write him/her!

Search for a distinct voice for each character, but make sure you mold and shape each person to be unique, endearing, entertaining, and well-written!

Consistent Craft vs. Inconsistent Craft would be:

• Fine-tuning voice in each character vs. giving a generic voice to the character you're not as thrilled to write about.

• Ramping the tension in one pov, then flat-lining with the next character. Even if a character isn't going through tragedy, use power words, make even the every day situation intriguing to bridge the gap between the characters until they are woven together in the plot.

• Language differences: Using power words, tight writing, good dialogue with one pov, then sprinkling adverbs, boring sentence structure, simplistic dialogue in your next pov. This is particularly tricky in historical and dialect of certain countries...for some reason we want to use adverbs for historical writing...it just seems...more proper, doesn't it? Something I am working on!

Final tips on Point Of Views:

Write each character's pov as if they are their own story, not as if one is assisting the other. Use the different perspectives to move toward the main plot-line of the book, to ramp up the tension toward the point of character collision or the characters' a-ha moment together.

Finally, two POVs are only powerful when they are both consistent in moving the story forward.

Thanks, Alley Cats, for helping me sort through these thoughts on POV. I am by no means an expert, so I would love to open the discussion to our readers and see if anyone else has tips or insight also!
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Angie Dicken first began writing fiction as a creative outlet during the monotonous days of diapers and temper tantrums. She is passionate to impress God's love on women regardless of their background or belief. This desire serves as a catalyst for Angie's fiction, which weaves salvation and grace themes across cultures. She is an ACFW member and CEO of a family of six.

 

What is Your Novel Missing? Strong Verbs, Unique Words

For my last several posts, we've been discussing what your novel could be missing based on, well, what I notice my novel is missing. If you didn't catch the previous posts, check out Senses, Deep POV, and Hooks. Today it's all about those strong verbs and unique words - or more simply, getting rid of repetitive words.

I'm learning and growing, which is always going to be happening as a writer and that's a good thing. But I still notice these aspects of my writing need help.

Strong Verbs

He walked into the store, footsteps sounding on the tile as he made his way to the counter.

OR

He ambled into the store, shoes slapping against tile on his way to the counter.

"See if you can do any better," Maggie said with a smile. She gave the pencil to her brother.

OR

"See if you can do any better." Maggie arched a brow and nudged the pencil to her brother.

The second example on both uses stronger verbs that give the reader a better visual and a better idea of the character. It's a good goal to aim for upon edits. Strengthen sentences with strong verbs to give a better or clearer picture, AND use words sparingly to make the sentence more powerful and concise.

Not every single verb has to be one of a kind, but adding them in here and there to capture the reader is good.

Patty threw the ball to James just as he turned, and it hit him on the shoulder.

Patty hurtled the ball at James as he turned, pelting him on the shoulder.

See? Better visual and I took out an unnecessary word.

Again, you don't have to go overboard with synonyms and inundate your novel with as many creative verbs as possible, but find those places where you can give your sentence a punch with a stronger verb.

Some verbs we commonly use that could be made stronger are was, walked, talked, saw, heard. Also, watch for those adverbs - words ending in ly.

Unique Words/Repetitive Words

I am a big offender with repetitive words. My characters smile every few paragraphs and lift their eyebrows nearly as much. The simple fix for this is a search and find. But it's also knowing what to look for. Sometimes I'm not aware how many times I've put a certain word until a critique partner points it out. So I've compiled a list of words that show up a lot or should be used sparingly or not at all.

Use sparingly

Like, was, just, heard, saw, felt

Watch for overuse

Glimpse, gaze, eyes (or rolling eyes), lips, shrug, grin (smile, dimples appeared, lips lifted, lips quirked, curved, or curled), smile, chuckle, tip, tilt, lift, turn, eyebrows or brows, rose/rise, walk, breath, nod, gave, look, see, hear

It's a good idea to find your overused words and compile them in a file so you know what to check for when you do your edits.

Two other common offenders?

That and Then

Shelly saw that Frank had lost most of his hair.

Sometimes using "that" is fine, but most of the time it's unnecessary. Read the sentence aloud to see if it sounds the same without using "that". It can also help keep word count down if you use it a lot.

Shelly stepped over a branch that had fallen from the tree. (in this case, it's okay!)

Here's an example using "then"

Monica brushed her hair and then left the room.

Again, using "then" on occasion is fine, just watch for overuse.

These are the ones I notice the most, especially in my writing. If you can find these and try to use more unique ways of saying what you want to say, there won't be as much repetition.

How about you? Do you have words you overuse and how do you go about getting rid of repetitive words?

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Cindy is a Colorado native, living near the mountains with her husband and three beautiful daughters. She writes contemporary Christian romance, seeking to enrich lives with her stories of faith, love, and a touch of humor.

To learn more about Cindy, visit her at her personal blog, www.cindyrwilson.blogspot.com

My Doomed Affair With The -ly Adverb,

I'm gonna have to call it quits. No more sweet love affair with my -ly adverbs. It was a sad day when I found out that -ly adverbs were a No-No in the writing world and I wondered how this could be. When did this happen? Who made up this rule anyway?

I lovingly read these adverbs and wonder why anyone would want them gone. Your characters can jump fearlessly, kiss passionately, tell softly, touch gently, run quickly, dance beautifully, walk quietly, yell ferociously, and talk intelligently. So expressively. So elegantly.

But no, we are told to use stronger verbs so that we don't need the adverbs. Let's see, that would make the previous paragraph go something like this:

Your characters can leap, make out, whisper, caress, sprint, waltz, tip toe, bellow, and...and...uh, preach. (I have no idea what to use for 'talk intelligently'.) These verbs are shorter and more descriptive, but I STILL think the -ly words are pretty.

To be fair, I can see the value in the rule. Really, it does make sense. You use an adverb to strengthen a weak verb, so if you have a strong verb, you wouldn't need an adverb. If your verbs are weak, then your action is weak. Use action to liven up your story and connect with your readers.

Dialogue is a huge collector of adverbs and a great place to start hunting for them. So often we tell the action with our adverbs instead of using action tags to let the reader experience the story.

Examples:
"Put that down," she said harshly.
"Put that down," she bellowed.


"You are so beautiful," he said tenderly.

"You are so beautiful," he said, his fingers trailing down the side of her face.

Now that I see the rule for what it is and how effective it can be, I say let EVERYONE follow the rule. What, you say? There are exceptions to the rule? Oh yes, indeed.

If you are a multi-published, top-selling author, then yes, you can break any and every rule you want to. I won't name names, but these famous authors are allowed liberties in the area of rules. I'm not sure I think that's fair. But then I guess if I was making thousands of dollars on my writing and had editors clamoring for my books, then I could afford to get lazy in my writing. But I'm not, so I will learn the rules...as strict as they may be, and in learning the rules, I will become a better writer.

Join me as we kill the adverb and take on the job of finding excellent action verbs. Happy Hunting!

Have you had a love affair with the -ly adverbs? If so, how did you break it off?

Sherrinda