Writers Boot Camp: Lip Service

Have you ever participated in a sort of boot camp? Right now i'm about halfway through an iron tribe fitness challenge. Which should be synonymous for sweat-like-a-pig-and-look-like-an-idiot torture training. And yet, there's something to be said for putting yourself out there, gritting your teeth, and just going for it. Little by little your strength grows and you even surprise yourself by what you can actually accomplish once you've worked those hibernating muscles. But as much as it hurts, we're all trembling and nearly puking together. 

And that got me thinking about writers who maybe don't have a support group, or perhaps who haven't been sharing their chapters with their critique partners for whatever reason. It doesn't matter how strong your writing muscles may be, there are still times when flexing your stuff feels rather intimidating. When you feel like you're stumbling around on achy legs and relying on clumsy muscle memory. Wondering if maybe you've lost your touch or if certain muscles aren't working quite as they used to. 

Just like those brutal lunges and impossible planks, it's not comfortable at first, and that burn definitely doesn't feel so hot. But nothing will serve you better in the long run than developing perseverance. Because if you can take some instruction and endure that initial soreness that comes from a battered ego, you'll end up lean and mean and stronger than ever.

We all say we want to grow as writers. Often times that's lip service. It sounds good. But wouldn't we all rather just be great already? Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but that is one muscle that needs constant exercise. So if we want to whip our flabby scenes into shape let's talk about a different kind of lip service. Not the smoochy kind I tend to teach about. The smart-mouth, sassy pants, word-play kind. One of my favorite things to write, besides a boiling point kissing scene, is banter. 

I can't tell you how many books I've read where scene after scene pass with gobs of missed opportunities for verbal foreplay or quirky characterization. I'm not implying that it has to be present in every scene, just that it can really amp up the dynamic and intensity of your chemistry on paper. Not just between your characters, but between you and your reader. 

PLUS! It makes your characters more relateable and 3-dimensional.

Let's hit the weights! We all have different strengths and weaknesses and this is the perfect learning opportunity. We will work on a two point system for each entry. Finding a strength and offering a suggestion. Note that these will be just that, suggestions. Like anything, take it with a grain of salt. If it works for your style, apply it. If it doesn't fit, no harm no foul. We're only looking at a tiny piece of the whole picture and writing is anything but an exact science... so lets get some story tidbits flowing and work that inspiration muscle till it hurts so good.

Who's brave enough to play? I'll go first for the warm up!

Boot Camp RULES and REGS:

-Suggestions and encouragement welcome from any and all commentors on each entry. 

-This can be very nerve-wracking for some. Kindness is mandatory, but the best trainers are known for pushing you to the limit. If you submit an entry, keep that in mind. We are rooting for you to succeed and succeed BIG! This is not a critical exercise but an educational one.

-Try to keep your entries about 250 words or under. Just a snippet that is a good representation of your style will work great! We're looking for personality in your dialogue here. If you're stuck for a good example, post a scene that needs whipping into shape. We're on it!

-If there is a large response, check back for your a response this weekend. I promise to get to them all!

I'll give you two examples from my rough draft of the types of verbal volleying we are looking for here: 

Something spunky... 

         Roughened fingers curled around her hand. “Redmond.” He shook with vigor. “Come from a long line of Norwegian blondes. Born as bare as a cue ball, so the hair is purely coincidental. Some say it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

            “And what do you say?” She shook back.

            He smiled; big, bushy eyebrows dancing with merriment. “I say it’s luck. Maybe destiny. Helped me charm the purddiest little redhead into marrying me, and it makes it plum near impossible for people to forget my name.” He released his hand to ruffle his trimmed-up chops. “Losing some of my flair though. Still smokin’ hot, just a bit of ash cooling in the fire,” Red punctuated with a wink.

            Everleigh grinned, feeling like she’d found a kindred with another spunky cock-eyed optimist who rambled just as much as she did. “Definitely unforgettable.” 

(Note: These are not wasted words. They tell you much about your character without a lot of back story dump or internal rambling.)

or something quirky that brings your character to life...

 “Put me down.”

“What? No.” Rivulets of sweat tracked down his neck and disappeared beneath the collar of his shirt.

She started to wriggle loose which awakened the shock-addled nerves in her leg. Oh oww. She sipped a breath through gritted teeth. “Jase, really. I know I’m heavy.”

He barked a laugh, holding her tighter until he found the right door and entered the darkened room. “It’s not you.”

“Ha! That line is still out there, huh? Brutal.”

She felt him shaking his head as he leaned down. Shockingly cool granite hit the backs of her legs where he deposited her on a counter.

The instant loss of his heat was replaced by a flood of light. She shouldn’t have looked but it was instinctual. A deep red stain had soaked through the fabric tied around her thigh. Tributaries of blood wove a crimson web down her leg like liquid fishnets. The entirety of her robin’s egg canvas shoe awash in a glaring garnet.

“Ohhh.” Swaying, she smacked her head against the mirrored wall. “Oh geeze. Umm.” She pinched her eyes shut. “Baby giggles. First kisses. Breakfast Blend. Stevie Wonder. Fresh baked bread. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Singing in the Rain.”

One big hand cradled her skull and kneaded the offending spot. Another pried open one eye and struck her retina with a flash of light. “What are you doing?” His voice scraped over her skin.

“I’m finding my happy place so I don’t face plant in the sink. What are you doing?” She batted at his hand stretching her eyelids oh so flatteringly.

            “Just making sure you’re still with me.” 

(This is a very tense scene that peels back another layer of the characters identities and struggles. The playfulness is a much needed reprieve for the reader after the previous action sequence. Use that dialogue to your advantage. Make it work for you. Don't make it filler!)

Let's see what you got?

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Amy Leigh Simpson writes romantic mysteries with honesty and humor, sweetness and spice, and gritty reality covered by grace. When she’s not stealing moments at naptime to squeeze out a few more adventures in storyland, she’s chasing around two tow-headed miscreants (Ahem)—boys, playing dress up with one sweet princess baby, and being the very blessed wife to the coolest, most swoon-worthy man alive. Amy is a Midwestern-girl, a singer, blogger, runner, coffee-addict, and foodie. Her Sports Medicine degree is wasted patching up daily boo boo’s, but whatever is left usually finds its way onto the page with fluttering hearts, blood and guts, and scars that lead to happily ever after.

Check out her NEW romantic mystery novel FROM WINTER'S ASHES! Available NOW!

Willing to Change

Have you hit a road block in your story? Not the kind where you don't know what to write next. The kind where the pieces to the puzzle are there in your mind, you just can't sort things out? 

You had a plan. You thought about the scene the night before. It seemed to play out right in your mind but when your fingers hit the keys the action didn't make sense anymore?

What happened?

You did the research. Have oddles of information available on your desk and the Internet. You get up from the chair and pace the room. Go downstairs for a cup of tea or coffee and rumble your fingertips on the counter. Why isn't it working? What's wrong?

You knew everything went well until this scene. Crit partners gave reasonable kudos with basic grammar tips to previous chapters. 

Now that the cup of coffee/tea is half gone you start to wonder if something is missing. Maybe an ingredient had been missing all along. Something no one caught until you hit this scene. 

Writers sitting around Tracie Peterson's dining room table mulled over this question at a Rocky Mountain ACFW meeting. As we chewed on the question, each person at the table thought of something they could have added, taken away or simply changed to ignite their story to a higher level. 

One person said, "All I had to do was add a character at this point. It solved everything."
Another said, "I had to delete a character that started hogging the story. Didn't realize it until this point."
Another said, "I had to go back to the beginning and reconfigure all my work. This story, I realized, needed to be written in first person. It took a lot of time, but when I made the change, the story became magical."

What are other sneaky, low down rascals that have rooted into your story and need to be weeded out. Or maybe you have a shy component, hiding in the background, waiting for you to give permission to step into your story.

Rattle the cages. Bring fire to the firecracker. Throw off the protection and let your work blast into readership. Add, take away, change the setting, change which person you write, change your hair color (whoops that isn't part of writing). 

If you have been following my Why Writers Should Read series you may ask, "Good grief, what book stirred Mary's soul this week?"

Okay, I'll tell you.  I read Covenant Child by Terri Blackstock. FYI, You'll need a box of tissues for the ending.

You probably know Terri is an accomplished authoress, having mastered the wordsmith craft.  

Terri wrote Kara's story first person in such a compelling way this book would have been only half as good had she chosen third person. 

Terri, a New York Times Best Selling author, wove a Biblical story so completely into a today setting it flowed like a droplet in a stream. No one could accuse this work of being preachy.

Terri didn't hold back in the negative scenes. She painted them real. Sometimes I had to put the book down because my heart cried for the character. She did not sugarcoat anything, yet she carefully said only what needed to be. She did not overplay anything for effect.

Why should writers read? Well, because we can learn from great writers like Terri and then return to our work, not broken, not discouraged, not down trodden, but revitalized to emulate their example and to provide the good work for newer writers.

What component have you found that needs to changed or what could you add to put the spark in a chapter or what could you take out to smooth the rough plot terrain?

I'd like to invite you to join me in this next two week book reading challenge. Choose a book and let me know. mimary_vee@yahoo.com

Also, I am hosting a book give away on my website this Friday. I will be giving away a copy of Covenant Child. Hope to see you there. www.maryvee.com

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photo courtesy of amazon.com and freedigitalphotos.net

This blog post is by Mary Vee

Mary lives in Montana with her husband and loves to hear from her three college kids. She writes contemporary Christian fiction with a focus on the homeless population and loves to pen missionary and Bible adventure stories on her ministry blog, God Loves Kids.

Visit Mary at her website www.maryvee.com

 Step into Someone Else's World 

  

Ministry blog to families: God Loves Kids http://www.mimaryvee.blogspot.com/

Email: mimary_vee@yahoo.com

Winner of Exemplary Program for American Christian Schools International: Grocery Store Ministry for the Hungry

How To Write A Kissing Scene...Valentine Edition

The Kiss...the moment when lips meet, when senses are heightened, when hearts meld.  It is a magical thing, because women loved to be kissed They want to be wanted, desired, loved. When writing romance, the kiss is of the utmost importance.

So how does one go about writing a kissing scene? What things are important when laying out "the kiss"? There are several areas that you should consider when developing your kissing scene.

SETTING/MOOD: Setting is very important when it comes to a kiss, because it sets up the mood for the smooch. For instance, a kiss in a dark parking garage has a completely different feel that a kiss in front of a cozy fire. Include descriptive details to put the reader into the scene so that they can feel the ambiance.

DISTANCE/PROXIMITY: In order to kiss, your characters must come in close proximity. How do they come together in a way that builds tension and increases a readers need to turn the page? There has to be either conflict (a fall/rescue, locked in a room all alone) or heightened awareness/desire from both characters that moves them toward one another. Make is good. Make it count.

SENSES 1-5: This is a no-brainer. Use the five senses to ramp up the kiss.

• Touch - Describe the feeling a character gets when their lips meet the other's. Soft, hard, yielding, demanding? Does her face feel smooth, his whiskery? Does goose bumps shimmer across her skin when he digs his fingers into her hair? What are their physical reactions?
• Taste - A kiss can have a taste. I know that could be gross, given a character's love for garlic, but be creative. Have them taste of honey or minty chocolate. Your character could have just eaten a kiwi or an orange. Make it unique.
• Sight - Since you are in a character's POV, describe what the other one looks like as they move in for a kiss. What gestures or facial expressions do they see? Does she lick her lips in anticipation? Does he clench his jaw or deepen a dimple? This should be the easiest sense to use, so make it good.
• Smell - What do the characters smell like? Are they wearing cologne? Do they smell like they have been cooking hamburgers or have been outdoors? Don't forget to include the smells of the setting. What about the salty sea breeze at the beach or the fragrant  roses of the garden? Let the setting help you out here.
• Sound - While we might not want to admit it, there are sounds when we kiss. You don't want to write about the smack or slurp that might occur, but you can mention the soft moan, quick intake of breath, shaky exhale, or a deep beat of a heart. Don't forget about the sounds of the setting. Soft rain hitting the window can set the mood up nicely for a kiss.

WRAP UP/LOOSEN UP: So what happens after the kiss? Well, if this is close to the beginning of the book, you need to have some conflict come in. Let someone walk in on them. Have one be angry with the other for crossing the line and kissing them against their will (even though they participated willingly enough in the kiss!). You have got to keep the tension going so readers will want to turn that page and see if they kiss again. 

There is nothing better than a great kiss with someone you love. I know, because I've been married to the same wonderful man for 27 years. He has given me a Valentine every day since Saturday. Chocolate covered strawberries, a date to see The Vow (sigh!), and a dozen red roses. Were there kisses involved? What do you think? ;)

It's Valentine's Day....have you had your kiss yet? 

Is there anything you would add to make a kissing scene even better? What authors write the best kissing scenes, in your opinion? Do share! 

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This post is brought to you by

 Sherrinda Ketchersid

Sherrinda is wife to "Pastor John" and mother to three giant sons and one gorgeous daughter. A born and bred Texan, she writes historical romance filled with fun, faith, and forever love.

Books and the Bathroom

Have you ever realized how rare it is for a character in a book to go to the bathroom?

Once in a great while, I stop during a particularly long scene that covers a large period of uninterrupted time and think, "Man, that character must REALLY have to pee!"

If you think it's wierd that I notice these things, please realize it isn't often, and that I'm a mother of 4 children, 3 of them potty trained. It's my JOB to notice bathroom habits!

Then what is the reason we don't see characters go to the bathroom (besides the obvious gross factor?)

Because....


IT DOESN'T ADD TO THE STORY!

Unless your scene needs to have a portion take place IN the bathroom (which I actually have read before) there is no need to go there.

Now, this blog post isn't just about not taking your character to the bathroom. Because that would be kinda weird.


It's about the fine line between showing enough of our characters life to immerse the reader and make it realistic without boring them to tears.

It is realistic for our character to go to the bathroom.
It is realistic for our character to burp.
It is realistic for our character to far.... er, pass air through their digestive system.
It may be realistic for our character to file their nails, do their makeup, take a shower, get dressed, do laundry, clean the house, bake cookies, mow the lawn, surf the Internet, watch TV, get a pedicure, pick a piece of food out of their teeth, blow their nose and accidently get a booger on their shirt.

There are a TON of realistic things our characters do, day in and day out.

But we can't show them all. Otherwise our story will be...

BORING! And gross.

Although we need to show SOME of them, otherwise our story will be...

FAKE!

The key is to show these realistic things in the course of a scene where it ADDS TO OUR STORY. Where it enhances instead of distracts.

If you're in the middle of a discussion between hero and heroine and the heroine suddenly stops and says, "Hold on, I have to go to the bathroom, be right back." Yeah, totally ruins the moment. Although when a girls gotta go, a girls gotta go!

But a scene where a villainous antagonist who is trying to seduce the hero away from the heroine escapes into the restaurant bathroom to collect herself and primps to make sure her dress is showing all the right curves and shoves past someone else coming into the restroom.... it potentially shows her intention, character, and motive through "action" verses telling dialogue.

Or a single heroine who drags out the lawnmower on a Saturday morning only to be accosted by her elderly neighbor who forces her to take custody of the woman's huge fat cat even when heroine HATES animals, then the cat becomes a constant figure throughout the book and shows the woman's loneliness when she resorts to telling her woes to the mammoth feline.

Discussion: What "realistic" scenes do you have in your novel, or have you read in a novel recently?

Self-Editing Checklist: Repetition

Do you ever find yourself repeating the same things over and over? Do you ever find yourself repeating... Okay, I'll stop.

All writers have repetition in their manuscripts. They're like little tics that keep jerking our fingers to the same spots on the keyboard. In the first draft, it's okay...We're just dumping the story out of our heads. But self-editing is the time to kill those tics and toss them in the trash bin.

Point #9 in my self-editing checklist is Repetition. (To see Points 1-8, click here.) There are three main traps to watch out for.

1) Chapters or scenes that accomplish the same purpose. Each scene should advance the plot, moving it forward and heightening the stakes. If you have two scenes that take place in the same location, they'd better be unique in the plot development to give the reader a sense that something is different.

2) Stylistic effects. Do you have a metaphor or simile in every sentence? Or in two sentences close together? Even if they're the most brilliant material you've come up with in your writing career, you need to cut one of them. Otherwise, they lose their effect.

Or how about this one...Your. Characters. Speak. Each. Word. As. If. They're. About. To. Die. In. Every. Scene. This technique can be effective in short snippets, but if you use it more than once or twice in a manuscript (personal opinion...not a hard-and-fast rule), you run the risk of making your reader throw the book across the room.

3) Word repeats. We all have pet words, and the more unique they are, the more they stand out. I never realized I had an addiction to the word "tingly" until my characters got the tingles in almost every scene. It made me want to rub anti-itch cream all over my skin. Your pet word will be different. But you won't catch it until you look for it.

There are some online tools that can tell you how many times a word is used in a particular section of text. Here's a link to Agent Steve Laube's blog where he talks about one such tool. Per his comments, it's not useful for an entire manuscript, but it can be used for shorter sections.

Ultimately, though, the best way to catch all these forms of repetition is to read the manuscript yourself. Then highlight the words or effects you see repeated.

Your homework for the next two weeks, should you choose to accept it: Analyze your overall scene list and watch for scenes that accomplish the same purpose. Look for repeat words and use the Find feature in Word to hunt them down and change them.

Do you have any pet phrases or words you use in your writing? What about stylistic effects? What are some tools you use to find them?

* Trash bin photo by winnond / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
** Frustration photo by Graur Razvan Ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Editing Checklist: Consistency (Plus a Dynamite Giveaway!)

No, I'm not giving away dynamite...That might get me arrested. But I am offering a fabulous giveaway for people who want to propel their writing to a dynamite level. Curious? Keep reading. :)

Remember that self-editing checklist I've talked about in my previous posts? We're moving on to Point #3 this week. I call this one Consistency. (For points 1 & 2, click here.)

Under consistency, consider the following items for each of your scenes.

a) Have you left any dangling subplots or story lines? If so, is it intentional or do you need to fill in the gaps? In my last post, you may have gathered that I'm a spreadsheet nerd. So how do you suppose I track my subplots? That's right...in a spreadsheet. :) Whether you're a plotter or a pantser, I highly recommend you keep track of your scenes somehow, whether it's in Excel or on index cards.

In Excel, I create a column called Plot/Subplots. In my latest book, I have the primary plot of the romance between my main characters Brogan and Ivy, but I also have subplots of Ivy's troubled relationship with her dad, her struggle to get out of debt, and her job for her ex-boyfriend, to name a few. Next to each scene, I indicate which plot/subplots are addressed. It's not foolproof, but it does help me recognize if I've ignored the debt subplot for 20 straight chapters.

Resources: Camy Tang talks about subplot threads in this Story Sensei post.

b) Does the character's emotional or spiritual arc flow? Does your character hate her father in one scene and then give him a big old hug in the next? If so, there'd better be a reason. Jerking the reader up and down with willy-nilly character emotions will just unsettle them. Make sure the emotional arc picks up where it left off in the previous scene and move it forward from there.

Resources: For a quick hit on emotional arcs, check out this article. If you want to take your character's emotional arc (and your writing) to the next level, I highly recommend Margie Lawson's AMAZING course, Empowering Character Emotions. In case you didn't sign up after Casey's post last week, you can buy Margie's lecture packets (over 280 pages!) for only $22. It's seriously the steal of the century when you consider the AMAZING (yes, I used that word twice in one paragraph) things you'll learn.

Your homework for the next two weeks, should you choose to accept it: Read the articles I've referenced. And if you're ready to learn like crazy, buy Margie Lawson's lecture packet and gobble it up like your Thanksgiving turkey. Then analyze your scenes for consistency.

But wait! (Do you feel like you're watching an infomercial yet?) Remember that dynamite giveaway I mentioned? For one lucky commenter, I'm offering the choice of any one of Margie's lecture packets! The winner will be announced in our weekend edition.

Do you keep track of your plots and subplots? If so, how? How closely do you pay attention to the character arc?

*Rock climbing photo by Bill Longshaw / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
** Curve photo by Filomena Scalise / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-Editing Checklist: Scene Analysis

You've got a completed manuscript and you're ready to self-edit, right? So now the big question: Where do you start?

My answer: a self-editing checklist. (If you're just jumping in, check out my post from two weeks ago where I introduced the why behind a self-editing checklist as well as some ground rules.)

Once you feel pretty good about your overall story and characterization, it's time to start in with an analysis of your scenes. Now this can be done however you want. I usually take out my 4-page checklist and work through the entire thing on one scene at a time. If that doesn't work for you, do whatever does.

Here are the first two points on the checklist.

#1 - Scene or Sequel (as coined by Dwight V. Swain in his book Techniques of the Selling Writer). Does my scene have a clear goal, conflict, and disaster? If it's a reaction scene (aka sequel), does it have a reaction, dilemma, and decision that propels it into the next scene? I track these items in an Excel spreadsheet (the CPA in me never dies). :) It helps me make sure I don't have an aimless scene.

Resources: For the full description of the concept behind Scene and Sequel, I highly recommend Dwight's book. Or if you want shorter article-sized summaries, check out Randy Ingermanson's website or Camy Tang's Story Sensei blog.

#2 - Does the scene enact a tangible change, both inwardly and outwardly? This is a direct quote from a Donald Maass post on Writer Unboxed. To read the entire post, click here.

Your homework for the next two weeks, should you choose to accept it: Read the articles I've referenced. And if you have a few extra dollars and some time on your hands, buy Dwight Swain's book (or borrow it from your local library) and read Chapter 4. Then analyze your scene for these two points.

Do you tend to get in the trap of writing aimless scenes? What's your best advice to ramp up a scene and make it meatier?

* Book photo by winnond / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
**Flower photo by Filomena Scalise / FreeDigitalPhotos.net