Get Your Flirt On

****WRITER ON A DEADLINE!**** Dr. Love is busy editing but I was utilizing these tips while ramping up the romantic tension between my H&H--Finn & Joss. So, yes, this is a repost but it's a fun one and I was feeling it today. How about you ... are YOU feeling flirty? ;)

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It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for three decades or if your only romantic relationships exist on paper… your ability to flirt is like having an ace in your pocket.

Most often it’s referenced with sexual undertones but not all flirtations have that connotation. Friends, co-workers, family members, teachers, or even children… it’s all in the dynamic. So what is it, really?

Flirting, put simply, is behavioral attraction.

It IS your playful banter, your witty comebacks, your smoldering looks, or the sarcastic roll of your eyes. Fiction or real life, flirting is the magic in your dialogue, the intent behind a look, even the position of your body and the measure of your movements. It’s tension and longing, friction and fun. It may seem like fluff since it doesn’t often grace the heavy heart to heart encounters but it lays the frame work for the connections that form between characters. It is both verbal and non-verbal. It’s CHEMISTRY!

So let’s evaluate some chemical composition, shall we?

How do you know if your flirting is up to snuff? Like anything else, practice makes perfect! And the wonderful thing about fiction is you can edit that scene again and again, crafting flirting perfection, often even better than you could have quipped it in real life!

I LOVE that I’m married and I still get to flirt with my husband. Whether it’s a playful text message or a calculated brush of my foot beneath the dinner table, flirting gives relationships pizazz. So how can you rev up the attraction between your characters? (or even in your own life!—Sorry, Dr. Phil moment)

Here are 6 tips to help you get your flirt on!

TOUCH

Whether it’s a heated caress or a casual bump of the shoulder, heck, even twirling your own hair, when we touch we respond. We're not made of stone so how can we NOT feel? Think about what you want to say and try to translate that feeling into a touch. Where would you communicate that sentiment best? What type of touch would send the right signal without using brash words? Bite your tongue and give it a try. See if you get your point across. :)

TEASE

Oh the games we play! It’s like playground rules all over again, but then again, the tease is effective for riling our emotions and at the same time decreases the pressure of a serious interaction. Lighten up, people, good-natured ribbing can be fun and can definitely provide an easy segue for more meaning touches to keep ’em guessing. It's all about the chase, my friends.

BANTER

See here, now you get to ease up on that tightly reigned filter you work so hard to keep in check. Ahem...((**Whistling**)) Verbal sparring is like foreplay. Sometimes it overlaps with teasing but very often you get to expose your wit and intelligence. You can showcase your sarcasm. You get to dish it right back and up the ante! Excellent tool in building romantic tension! And it will keep a tighter pacing for your dialogue.

COMPLIMENT

Let’s be honest here, who doesn’t love these? Okay, on occasion they make us uncomfortable, but chemistry, whether in friendships or in romances, thrives when people voice their admiration for each other. Everyone wants to be noticed, to feel special, and what better way to cultivate attraction than by dropping a well placed kind word? Try it. Give a compliment and see how it can change the dynamic of a conversation on a dime. Your day or that scene will be better for it.

LAUGH

Is there anything more attractive that genuine laughter? The laugh is a wonderful flirtation.  And there are so many to explore! A giggle (sometimes charming or annoying), a chuckle (sometimes surprisingly hot), a husky laugh (that feels like a physical caress), a blurted laugh (I dare you not to laugh in response), or beautiful, carefree, laugh ’til your sides ache and your eyes well up (that I dare say might be the best flirtation of all). Find a way to laugh with someone. Make your characters laugh together. Funny will never go out of style!

STRUT

Not all communication is verbal. Duh! Body language speaks volumes. Use that to your advantage. Open yourself up to new ways of expressing emotion without words or touch. Pour that onto the page. Let the movements speak and give greater insight. Show don't tell. And go on and put a little swivel in your hips. (Perhaps not you men. You can strut, just maybe don’t swivel!) Work it! Find what feels good. Discover what gives that extra boost of confidence? Confidence is attractive. And that swivel doesn't hurt either. Alright, chin up. Annnddddd strut!

So there you have it. Your flirting tutorial! It’s Friday! Date, write, interact. Go forth and flirt it up!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Amy Leigh Simpson is the completely exhausted stay-at-home mama to the two wild-child, tow-headed toddler boys, one pretty little princess baby, and the incredibly blessed wife of her hunky hubby.

She writes Romantic Suspense chalked full of grace that is equally inspiring, nail-biting, and hilarious. And a little saucy! Okay fine, a lot saucy. :) She is an active member of American Christian Fiction Writers, and now uses her Sports Medicine degree to patch up daily boo-boos. Her greatest ambitions are to create stories that inspire hope, raise up her children to be mighty warriors for Christ, invent an all-dessert diet that works, and make up for years of sleep deprivation. 

She is represented by Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary, Inc.

How to Best Communicate with our Audience

Early in March, when snow still covered much of the United States, the movie Frozen won an oscar for best animated movie. 

Somewhat based on Hans Christian Andersen's story, The Snow Queen, this delightful tale captured my attention from the beginning and held my attention to the "Easter egg" which followed the credits. You did stay to watch it, right?



Those of us who have experienced the joy (or trials) of this snowy winter found a haven in this delightful story. And not only a haven, but fantastic, creative party ideas. Hah! I've seen those Frozen kid sleepover pics on FB with ice cream and other icy treats. What fun times.

BUT

Did you know, in Tucson, Arizona, and probably similar typically toasty settings, the story didn't communicate the same meaning to young audiences. 

My adult daughter went with a friend and her child to a theater in Tucson, where a room full of children and their guardians packed the seats. The opening scenes, which told a fun story of sister play, delighted the children. However, when the snow fell and the ice coated the landscape, the young audience wrestled with questions. The interesting and amusing blurts of child misunderstandings peppered the storyline. 

The main issue: how can something as light as cotton candy be hard enough to walk on? Great question. On the few occasions snow sprinkles in Arizona, it melts almost as quick as it falls. Who could possible walk on it, or sink to their knees in it?

When my daughter told me what the children said and described their perplexed faces, I realized this audience did not share the same experience as those who've lived through frozen winters. Especially this year.

Though entertained, the young summer state audience may have been so consumed with the strange white substance that their take home thoughts of the story were different. Nothing wrong with that, of course. 

Ah hah, I thought. The perfect concept to address on the Alley. (Please keep in mind the movie Frozen ranks tops in my mind and this following simply is a springboard from the kids response).

All genres from science fiction to historical, fantasy to contemporary, romance to thriller/suspense need to grab their audience on page one and clutch with the claws of an eagle to the last page.

Unlike the children who became fascinated with a new perspective of snow and ice, adult readers will endure only a few perplexing questions as they turn the first pages in a story. Oddities in an adult story jeopardizes believability. If not satisfied in a page or two, the book will be closed and left to collect dust. 


How can we best insure communication with our audience?

1. 3-D storytelling. Whether the story takes place in a fantasy world, in days long ago, has characters who are more than eccentric or personified, each page must contain vivid storytelling. This is best done by incorporating sensory clues so realistic the reader can't help but live the moment with the character even if one is propelled in a rocket soaring to the sun.

2. Dialogue. Spoken words need to reveal more than conversation. Questions of the heart and mind, when said out loud, insight rebuttals, emotions, and other questions. Don't be afraid to put a thought inside the quotes and open the door for other characters to verbally respond with their emotion.

3. Pacing. There are moments when readers need a chance to process and other moments when pages need to fly. If our books were musicals, a song would be inserted. For example, in the movie Frozen, Anna (the younger sister) was lonely. She met a handsome prince at the coronation. To speed up their attraction and marriage proposal, the song, Love is an Open Door was inserted (A hilarious song). The words and actions clarified and even justified Anna's reasons for saying yes so quickly. For books, an anecdote could be inserted. What else could be done to give readers time to process or fast forward?

4. Reasonable components of reality must be integrated.  Winnie the Pooh, though a toy, was hungry and thirsty. True to history, Confederate soldiers died and plantations burned in Gone With the Wind. Harry Potter was bullied. Dracula could die. The snowman in Frozen saw the world upside down when his head wasn't on right. Each of these examples serve as a key to open the door and welcome the reader/viewer into a believable story world.

Here is a brainteaser. If you were the screenwriter for Frozen, what would you have added to the script to help children living in strictly summer climates to identify with the story?


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This blog post is by Mary Vee

Mary has moved to Michigan with her husband, closer to her three college kids. She misses the mountains of Montana, but loves seeing family more often. She writes contemporary and romance Christian fiction, is honing marketing and writing skills, and loves to pen missionary and Bible adventure stories on her ministry blog, God Loves Kids.

Visit Mary at her website and her ministry blog to families: God Loves Kids. Or chat on Facebook or Twitter