Tuesday, May 25, 2010

No Conferences? HAKUNAH MATATA

What? You can't go to any Writing Conferences this year? Well, I have just one thing to say...


No worries...just chill out and pick out one of my Top 10 Things To Do When You Can't Go To A Conference. Let's shorten that up to T4DWYCGTAC, why don't we? I was going to be smart and write about backstory, but everyone else was writing about conferences, so I thought I'd join in the fun.

The countdown begins:

10. Stock the pantry with chocolate bon bons and the freezer with ice cream, and pig out for the duration of the conference. (Warning: Not Waistline Friendly!)

9. Have a slumber party and read your favorite romance scenes aloud to each other. Bring out the chocolate for a night of fun!

8. Read a book a day, preferably romance, where you can escape into sigh-inducing scenes and smile at happy endings.

7. Make up flyers announcing your future bestseller and post them in all the coffee shops and libraries in your area. Make sure to put a cute head shot of yourself. They say it's never to early to market yourself.

6. Subscribe to Netflix and have a sappy movie marathon day...or two...or three. Cry and laugh your heart out. You might want to have your bon bons close at hand.

5. Text your friends at the conference every 30 minutes, telling them how your word count has grown...and how theirs has not.

4. Send out 54 queries to random agents. You can pick any number to send out, but I prefer randomness. Who knows? You might hit the jackpot.

3. Go to Disneyland and devise a murder mystery involving Mickey Mouse, Cinderella, and the Big Bad Wolf. (Yes, I know the Big Bad Wolf is NOT a Disney character, thank you very much.)

2. Spend an hour in Barnes and Noble. Take one page from 300 books in the store and string them together for a Mad Lib Novel.

1. Watch the weather channel and drive to the nearest rainstorm. Let your hair down and dance a jig in the rain, screaming at the top of your lungs how much fun you are having instead of meeting famous authors.


So those of you not going to any conferences this year, how do you intend to chase the blues away?



Jessica Nelson said...

#5 is bad, bad, bad.
Sherrinda...*wagging finger in your face and trying not to laugh*

I'm still holding out hope that I'll go to a conference! We'll see. :-)

Unknown said...

Awesome!!!!! Well I've got the slumber party and icecream in the bag!

Linda Kage said...

LOL! Love them. I just might try all ten this year when I'm not at the big RWA Con.

Jody Hedlund said...

Very cute, Sherrinda! Does this mean you won't be going to ACFW? I was hoping to meet you! :-)

Krista Phillips said...

OHHHH!! Pepper, need your cell phone number, girl. I see a lot of texts in your future at ACFW in September!

Sherrinda, FABULOUS list, girl! I might do all of the above! Although, I'll be trying to lose baby wieght, so might not eat quite so much chocolate (but then again...)

Charity Bradford said...

Conferences? Conferences? You mean they have conferences for writers? I don't believe it and refuse to believe it until I have the $$ to attend. :) yep, denial works best for me. Can't be sad or jealous about something that doesn't exist.

Jeanette Levellie said...

Sherrinda: I love these! I noticed three out of ten include chocolate bon bons! You are my kind of lady!

My favorite was to text your friends and tell them how your word count is increasing.


Unknown said...

Ha! Sounds like fun. We may just all show up at your house instead of going to the conference.

Casey said...

LOLOL!!! I laughed SO hard. I love number 5 and 2. Great fun!!

Except now you have COMPLETELY ruined my post because I was going to talk about what to do when you can't go to a conference. :)

Anywho, too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!

rbooth43 said...

Awesome List! Loved all 10, my favorite number 1. Reminds me of Singing In the Rain with Gene Kelly.

Sherrinda Ketchersid said...

Oh Casey!!!! I didn't know you were doing a post on that! I totally didn't check...:( I'm so sorry!
Of course, you probably have a more constructive post than I do and could sooooo do a more informative lesson!

Mary Vee Writer said...

No one has picked #7 yet. I'll take that one. Bold. Obnoxious. Once in a life time.

Sure wish I could go this year. Everyone who goes will simply have to spill their enthusiasm out on us. I'm ready!!

Sherrinda Ketchersid said...

Krista, I thought of you while doing this post, and hoped I could be funny like you. ;) And we should totally text Pepper all day!!!! lol LOVE YOU PEPPER!!!!

Charity!!! Denial! I didn't even THINK about that one! Excellent!

Linda, I'm not going to the RWA Con either...and I am a finalist in one of the chapters! lol Oh well.... We can text each other!

Jessica, if you do end up going, give me your cell number and I will text you day. ;P lol

Sherrinda Ketchersid said...

Jody, sad to say, but no I won't be going to ACFW this year. I would love to, but it is not in my financial forecast for the year. I am hoping next year...I may have a better ms ready. :)

Julie and Marybeth, yall come on over and we will eat ice cream and have a movie marathon all night! Woohoo!

Jeanette, I am a chocoholic, you know, so everything must include chocolate!

Mary!!!! I don't know that I could be so bold...maybe obnoxious! ;)

rbooth43, I think it would be GREAT fun to dance in the rain. Sigh...I'm ready for rain.

Keli Gwyn said...

Sherrinda, I'm bummed you won't be at ACFW or RWA Nationals. I'm sooo eager to meet you in person.

Love your clever list of conference alternatives. Of course, I may think twice about sharing my cell phone number with you. LOL!

Casey said...

Oh Sherrinda, I was just giving you a bad time. :) I think you and I are the only ones who haven't been to a big conference, so we will have to stick together. :D Let's get those posters printed and rent a slew of movies!! Though I would prefer books. ;)

Pepper said...

LOL, LOVE THEM, Sherrinda.
And you HAVE my number. AHHHHH!!!!

I read these outloud to my mom and she said. "That woman sounds like your kind of friend." Don't know what that means, but it can't be good ;-)

And Krista,
Hmmm, you're planning on calling me with the background noise of crying babies. Well, let me just tell you - I'll get that when I call home from ACFW anyway. Poor hubby ;-)

Is Casey whining about somebody stealing her post idea? Did I read something about that? ;-)

I'm sure you'll come up with a different spin on the conference-theme, Casey. You're such a clever writer.

I'm a singin' in the rain - girl. And chocolate. Definitely

Casey said...

Yes, Pepper, I am whining, though my above comment didn't come across they way I intended. You got to be careful with words *shaking my finger in my face*.

Ah well, the conference wannabes have to stick together. Somebody has to look out for us. :)

Pepper said...

As often as you, Krista, and Sherrinda will text me, I'm sure you'll feel like you're right there ;-)

Casey said...

LOL! Well the problem is, I, ahem, don't have a cell phone. So you won't hear from me at least.

You'll just hear from me AFTER it's over. :P

Pepper said...

And I'll send you chocolate ;-)

Anonymous said...

You can follow the RWA conference on Twitter and they put videos on YouTube of the conference. Watch Seekerville. We'll be posting photos and videos from Orlando. I promise.

Sherrinda Ketchersid said...

Oh Tina! Oh O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

Yay! A way to be a fly on the wall! And of course, I always watch Seekerville. :) Thanks for the heads up.

Jennifer Shirk said...

Ha! I love that list!

I usually try to find an online seminar somewhere to make me feel better, too. Although I will be going to one in October. Very excited about that!

Heather Sunseri said...

Very funny, Sherrinda!! I love #5 and #2!

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

I'd love to go to ACFW, but once again it's too far away to make it economical feasible. I might go to a local conference, but I haven't decided yet.

Susan :)

Sherrinda Ketchersid said...

Jennifer! Yay, you get to go in October. I'm sure you will blog all about it so I don't feel so left out. :) And an online seminar is an EXCELLENT idea!

Heather, glad I could make you smile.

Susan, I'm right there with you on the money issue. It is a huge chunk of money, especially when I don't feel like my work is really presentable yet.