Why Writers Should Read-Part 5 Inner Voice

I wonder what the girl in the picture to the left is thinking. Is she second guessing herself, or remembering her true love, the one not attending the wedding?  If only I could know the words she isn't saying I'd understand the photo.

A writing teacher once told me: write as if a camera were mounted on a character's head. If the character can't see, hear, do, feel, or taste then the thought/words can not be included. Good words.

But...what about the picture to the left? I want to know more than this is her wedding day, her bridesmaids are giggling on the other side of the room, and what the foliage smell like through the open window to the right.

As a writer, I want to show a deeper quality to my characters by opening the door to their inner thoughts and entice the reader to become engaged, or side with the character. A character's inner voice paints a story in 3D and in color. 

We want our readers to shout at a character when he/she makes a wrong choice or scream something like, "Over there! It's over there!" During this last reading challenge I slammed the book shut because I couldn't bear to read what happened next, obviously the character made the wrong choice. But one minute later I couldn't stand not knowing. I fumbled to find the page because I had to know what really happened.

Inner voice opens the door or turns the camera towards the brain of the character. What is the character thinking and not saying. What does the character want to do/wish he could say instead? 

This last week I read Love Starts with Elle by Rachel Hauck and found many examples of inner voice. With Rachel's permission I have included a small sample from this wonderful book to use with each point:

1. page 140
     "Um, he dumped me." For a lawyer, Candace could be dense at time.

Although this story is done in third person, this line "for a lawyer, Candace could be dense at time" melted the fence between 1st and third person. It told me Elle's impression of Candace without a lengthy description or dialogue. The inner voice statement should be a short, concise, to the point perspective.

2. page 137/138
     Muttering to herself, Elle opened all the blinds, shoved open the windows, and clicked on the fan. By the pitch of the studio's shadow in the grass, she figured it to be late afternoon. 
     Angela Dooley suing her? What was wrong with that woman?

Obviously something bothered, Elle, she's shoving windows and muttering. The reader is invited into Elle's head to find out why. No letter is suddenly presented, no summons, no phone call to shed light on her agitation, the reader simply steps deep inside Elle's head to gain more than her POV, we feel her heart, her ache.

3. page 5/6
    "I won't be long." But the front door was blocked by Huckleberry Johns and his fish tank of eco art. Oh please, not tonight. 

The inner voice clarified the problem. We know the door was blocked and Elle couldn't get past. A simple excuse me could have solved the problem, right? Not in this case. Without the tagged on inner voice we wouldn't know Huckleberry needed much more than an "excuse me." He wanted hours of Elle's time.

4. page 39 (scene hint: Elle is house shopping with her fiance.)

     "Well, babe, what do you think?" Jeremiah clicked his phone closed and walked toward her.
    "It's big. Lovely." Too new, too cold. 

Characters can be elusive or seemingly polite, holding back true thoughts then getting hooked into something they don't want. This component of inner voice builds a relationship with the reader. Displaying the sarcastic thought popping into the character's head not only let's the reader stand next to the character, it lets the reader stand in the character's shoes. 

Here are some other tips for inner voice:

1. Inner voice is only from the POV character. 
2. Inner voice is not intended to be informative-the purpose is to build a relationship with the reader, clarify a problem, feel the character's heart and ache, is always short-concise-to the point.
3. Inner voice is not directional: statements like: walked up the stairs, raked their hair, opened the door, stomped across the room, laughed, cried, etc.  All of these tell an outward response which could be a cover-up and not the true feelings of the character. 

Inner voice is essential to forming a deep relationship between the reader and the character.

What examples can you share of inner voice?

Last week Angie, my Alley Cat friend, and Jeanne T, an Alley Cat pal joined me in the reading challenge. We had a great time connecting as friends. Won't you join me this week? I chose my next book: House of Secrets by Tracie Peterson. What book would you like to read in the next two weeks? email me at mimary_vee@yahoo.com


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Photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

This blog post is by Mary Vee
Mary lives in Montana with her husband and loves to hear from her three college kids. She writes contemporary Christian fiction and loves to pen missionary and Bible adventure stories.

Come Step into Someone Else's World with Mary's writing

To learn more about Mary, visit her blog http://www.mimaryvee.blogspot.com/
Or email her at mimary_vee@yahoo.com

Why Writers Should Read Part 4-Pacing

This morning while driving to work, I watched a high school girl run down the street toward the city bus, (the mode of bussing in our area). Her mouth was open, bookback sliding off her shoulders, her face reddened and strained, her eyes determined, and her pace, like the wind. She raised her eyes toward the bus sitting at the intersection and pumped her arms faster. The bus driver turned his head toward her and nodded. At that instant they communicated. She collapsed her pace to a stagger and walked the remaining steps to the bus. 

What changed her pace from a desperate push to a relieved  walk, (as much as one can when out of breath)? Did her forward movement change direction when she slowed her pace?

Today we'll look at pacing.

First, kudos to all who finished reading a book in the last two weeks. I had the privilege to read Just Between You and Me by Jenny B Jones for this challenge. And, as my reward, I will use a sample of Jenny's excellent writing skills. But first, a high five to my reading partner this time, Jeanne Takenaka who read the awesome book Wedding Dress by Rachel Hauck. She loved it!

Now back to pacing.

Consider the high school girl mentioned above who pushed a quick pace but then needed a break, so also will your readers.

Getting to the bus piqued interest and drew us in. However, wouldn't you like to know the rest of the story spilled to her classmates on the bus? What made her late? Did she oversleep? Did the car breakdown? What if a car driver made a mistake, ran a stop sign and plowed right into her family's living room window (not so far fetched, it actually happened to a home a few weeks before)?

What ingredients go into a well crafted pace? 

The key: First stir the pot then tell what's in it.

Let's take a look at an excellent example from Just Between You and Me.  I randomly opened to a chapter and found this fitting segment for pacing:

"Do you have an appointment?" the school secretary asks me...

"No." It takes everything I've got to pull my cheek muscles into some semblance of a smile. I feel like I just got off an all-night flight to Europe, missed my eight hours of sleep, and landed in a time zone where daylight shines and I must participate.

"No appointment," she repeats, like my appearance is the equivalent of standing on a tabletop and yodeling in the library.

"Danielle and I are old friends. She'll be totally okay with it. In fact." 

Jenny's opening statement plays several roles. Today let's look only at the pacing. 

1. Stir the pot- Right away the reader wants to know why the character wants to speak with the principal,who else would the secretary guard with a statement like that? Is the character angry? Maybe something urgent like the death of a family member, or a non custodial parent en route to kidnap her child prevents her from making an appointment? The opening line had me curious, ready to run the race/compelled to read more. 

2. Give the pace a jolt forward with tension- The main character says one answer to the secretary while thinking another. Notice Jenny B. Jones' skill in communicating inward voice after the one word answer. This technique keeps the reader in the know, but not the secretary which is essential for well crafted pace. Readers like to have the inside scoop and use it to scream orders at unknowing characters. Like a ping pong ball slapped to the other side of the table, this statement does not leave the ball in the main character's court.

3. Give the reader a break- A break does not mean stop/bore/drill/fill with mountains of backstory! This is the opportunity to answer questions sprouting from the fast pace. In Jenny B. Jones' example above the reader is given a break with the secretary's repeated line, "No appointment." Oh my. I can see a plump older lady with her glasses creeping down her nose and furrowing her brows. Then to amuse the reader more, the main character exaggerates, and thus adds rich color to the setting. Now the reader is primed to discover answers. They can see, hear, feel touch, breathe and understand.  

The answer to the questions are in the final comment.  The principal is "her" friend--whether the secretary thinks so or not. Friends get to come into a principal's office unannounced, voice their opinion, and ask for help in ways no other can.

Don't let the rest last too long, though. The reader likes this break, appreciates understanding what is happening and is now ready to move on.

4. What's next? More action. Crank up the pace again by stirring the pot.

There is much more that could be learned from pacing in our books. What have you learned in your writing journey about pacing? If you can, share a book that wowed you with its pacing.

This last week several people told me they looked deeper than entertainment in the book they read and found many great writing examples to study. Each said they had started marking passages with colored highlighters to refer back to. None will be giving their books away :) And neither will I.

If you've want to go back to read Parts 1-3 of this series: plot, flat characters, dialogue fluidity 

Soooooooooo who's willing to be my accountability partner for these next two weeks? I already picked my book: Love Starts with Elle by Rachel Hauck.


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Photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

This blog post is by Mary Vee
Mary lives in Montana with her husband and loves to hear from her three college kids. She writes contemporary Christian fiction and loves to pen missionary and Bible adventure stories.

Come Step into Someone Else's World with Mary's writing

To learn more about Mary, visit her blog http://www.mimaryvee.blogspot.com/
Or email her at mimary_vee@yahoo.com

Why Writers Should Read Part 3

Today's topic: Dialogue Fluidity

If you missed parts 1 and 2 click here.

I can't help but start with a duh statement, which I'd like to take credit for but it probably has been said by some famous person like Jane Austen: The more I read, the more I learn how to write. 

The epiphany struck me as I finished my challenge book for this post. (Kudos to all of you who finished a book during the last two weeks including my fab accountability partners: Jeanne T, Jodi Janz,  Amy Jane Helmericks, and Beth Voght) Jeanne went to Beth's book launch last Saturday!

My challenge book, thrust upon me by office coworkers who insisted I read it next, was The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks. I had read some of his previous works and didn't like them, I'm ducking to miss tomatoes. This book, however, had a gold mine which infused today's concept into my jello brain.

Dialogue is expected to move a story along, but dialogue fluidity is an essential and expected component for successful books. Sure there are other essentials like solid plots, lovable characters (including the bad guy who readers love to hate), ect. However, when dialogue flows like soft butter on bread, readers crave more, spread the word to their friends, and share slices of quotable lines.

How can we make our dialogue fluid?

1. The set up: Oddly enough, this is the absolute key component. If the reader knows where the conversation takes place, at least minimal knowledge of the characters, and what they are doing at the time most dialogue tags can be eliminated. Sandwich the dialogue between descriptive paragraphs.

For example: By page 92 of The Lucky One, the reader already knows Zeus is a dog, Ben is a boy and he is talking with Thibault, owner of the dog. Ben is meeting Zeus.

     Zeus trotted toward Ben, stick in his mouth, then dropped it at Ben's feet. He sniffed Ben, took a step closer, and allowed Ben to pet him.

     "He knows my name?"

     "Now he does."

     "Forever?"

     "Probably. Now that he's smelled you."

     "How can he learn it so fast?"

     "He just does. He's used to learning things quickly."

     Zeus sidled closer and licked Ben's face, then retreated, his gaze flickering from Ben to the stick and back again.

     

Do you see the sandwich? One simple paragraph to communicate the scene: a dog, a boy, a stick, outside, and the dog's owner. The dialogue moves the story forward letting the reader step into Ben's shoes as he meets a lovable dog. Another simple paragraph to reminder the reader who is who and what they are doing.

2. Unnecessary Tags: Each spoken voice does not need a tag and creative tags are definitely not needed for each one, either! Imagine the above dialogue with unnecessary tags:

     Ben asked, "He knows my name?"

     "Now he does." Thibault replied.

     "Forever?" Ben wondered.

     Thibault smiled. "Probably. Now that he's smelled you."

     "How can he learn it so fast?" Ben asked

     "He just does. He's used to learning things quickly," Thibault answered.

Clunky. Like wading through a bog after reading the first version, right? To step your work up a huge notch, look for unnecessary dialogue tags. Before deleting them. Make sure the dialogue is clearly sandwiched between set up paragraphs. The reader needs to know where the characters are, a minimal background, and what they are doing at the time of the dialogue.

3. Avoid Tics: A judge labeled my dialogue tags "tics". My armadillo writer's skin felt that wound. When the wound healed I understood what she/he meant.  Replacing dialogue tags with synonymous movement phrases is like an unnecessary dialogue tag and paints characters as having tics:

     Ben looked from Zeus to Thibault. "He knows my name?"

     "Now he does." Thibault nodded.

     "Forever?" Ben's eyes grew wide.

     Thibault smiled and folded his arms "Probably. Now that he's smelled you."

     "How can he learn it so fast?" Ben shuffled his feat through the leaves.

     Thibault rake his hands through his hair. "He just does. He's used to learning things quickly." 

Do the characters seriously have to move whenever they speak? Yech. So not needed after reading the first version. This form of dialogue tag slows the reader's movement through the story. Its 2:00am, the reader has to be at work tomorrow. She's willing to stay up to 5am if the story compels her to keep reading.

4. Make sense: Read dialogue passages out loud and preferably with either a second person or your schizophrenic partner. (I tend to use the second by changing voices, moving around my work area, you probably don't want to see me then). What seems to make sense in a first draft or an edited version on paper/screen, may not if read out loud.

One disclaimer. This does not mean a periodic "he said, she said" or character movement is not allowed. A well placed dialogue tag is always welcomed:)

Once again I exceeded my time. Your challenge, read a book in two weeks. Look for dialogue passages. Did the author communicated the setting, characters, and what they were doing first? Did it have unnecessary tags? Did the passage avoid tics? 


Can any of these tips help your WIP?

What did you learn from the book you read for the last challenge? (btw you didn't have to finish to answer:) )

Who will be my accountability partner these next two weeks? email me at mimary_vee@yahoo.com



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Photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

This blog post is by Mary Vee
Mary lives in Montana with her husband and loves to hear from her three college kids. She writes contemporary Christian fiction and loves to pen missionary and Bible adventure stories.

Come Step into Someone Else's World with Mary's writing

To learn more about Mary, visit her blog http://www.mimaryvee.blogspot.com/
Or email her at mimary_vee@yahoo.com

Why Writers Should Read, II

I finished the challenge!

I read a book in two weeks. Couldn't have done it without my fabulous accountability partner during the challenge: Beth Vogt. A small caveat--she finished her book first.

If you finished your book from the two week challenge, you might need a reminder what to do next. In a nutshell: consider manipulating the plot, twisting, turning, tugging, and smoothing to form a new plot story idea for your writing reservoir. For more details, here is the link to part one of my Why Writers Should Read Series.

Today, whether you finished the book for the first challenge or not, start fresh.

Writers who read meet many new characters who are vibrant, sinister, sweet, passive, aggressive, dorky, mysterious, graceful, snobby, contagious, cruel, empathetic, and etc.

Some characters are round, no reference to physical, these are the main characters. Some characters are flat, these are the secondary characters. Both are essential to stories.

We've had a lot of training with main characters, (round characters) here on the Alley. Check the label list on the side to read past Alley Cat posts for helpful tips.

Being the rebel that I am, I chose to focus on the flat character today. These poor, essential, rarely in the limelight characters provide key components without which entire books would flop. Over the top? Perhaps. Then again, maybe not.

Flat characters fill in holes, explain the whys, serve a small but essential purpose. We don't need to know everything about this character, but we do need him/her to complete a section of the plot puzzle.

At one of the Montana ACFW meetings, one member shared an aha moment. A scene from her story didn't work. She changed pieces, added dialogue and spruced description.  Nothing helped until she realized she needed to add a character. The new character served one purpose, to move the pickle scene forward. Suddenly her words flowed, action revived, pacing soared, the scene felt complete.

Flat characters add a great deal of importance. Often a well placed flat character can earn a starring role as a main character in a future book. Readers become intrigued with the seemingly small character who piqued their interest.

One of the many flat characters in Gone with the Wind was Prissy. SparkNotes describes her as "A squeaky-voiced house slave. Silly, squeamish, and inclined to exaggeration, Prissy is the film’s comic relief."

In this case, Prissy's character eased tension in the plot, without slowing the pace. She provided a pendulum swing for reader's emotions by pulling them from a tense, sad moment into vibrant humorous scenes.

Deeanne Gist, author of' Love on the Line inserted Duane as an essential flat character. Duane is a gun slingin' gang member who won my heart with his humor and spunk. He became essential by filling a hole in one scene the MCs could not. Sure would be nice if Deanne spun a book around Duane. hint hint Deanne

Dos and Don'ts for Flat Characters

Do use flat characters sparingly in your story. (re presence)
Do use flat characters to meet/accomplish a temporary need. (re task)
Do give a missing component of the story to the flat character (comic relief, spunk, etc)
Do give only one trait to the flat character. (timid strong sense of responsibility)

Don't develop the flat character (wastes story space needed for MC)
Don't assign heroic tasks to flat character
Don't assign antagonist task to the flat character
Don't let the flat character steal the scene from the MC
Don't let the MC watch the flat character. (The doer is always the MC)
Don't let the flat character improve-resolve-change

Is there a hole, a jagged scene, an uneasy sense to a scene in your WIP. Would adding a flat character sprinkle spice into your story?

Your challenge: read a book in the next two weeks. Should you chose to play with me--volunteer to be my accountability partner. You can leave your email address in the comment section or email me: mimary_vee@yahoo.com. That means we have two weeks. In this newly read book, search for flat characters and determine their contribution to the book.

sample: Cinderella. What essential role did Cinderella's father play? (Comment your answer)

The purpose of this challenge is to discover essential flat characters, how they impact a book, fill in gaps, provide essential components, and etc. Are you willing to rise to the challenge? Ready? Go.

Come back in two weeks with a book read, or in the process of being read for our discussion of the third benefit Why Writers Should Read

P.S. I am borrowing this quote posted by Fay Lamb on the ACFW General Crit Loop:  Most beginning writers (and I was the same) are like chefs trying to cook great dishes that they've never tasted themselves. How can you make a great (or even an adequate) bouillabaisse if you've never had any? If you don't really understand why people read mysteries (or romances or literary novels or thrillers or whatever), then there's no way in the world you're going to write one that anyone wants to publish. (This is the meaning of the well-known expression "Write what you know.")  ~Daniel Quinn

Please consider this opportunity to nominate The Writer's Alley 

for the 101 Best Websites for writers.

Just send an email to Writers.Digest@fwmedia.com 
during the month of April

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This blog post is by Mary Vee

Mary lives in Montana with her husband and loves to hear from her three college kids. She writes Christian young adult fiction (pirate tales, missionary and Bible adventure stories).

Come Step into Someone Else's World with Mary's writing

To learn more about Mary, visit her blog http://www.mimaryvee.blogspot.com/

Why Writers Should Read

Recently I spoke with an Alley Cat about a crit I’d received. The crit partner had wisely uncovered a problem no one else had seen. The Alley Cat’s response was “Your crit partner must read a lot.”

I pondered the underlying message in her statement: Reading a lot has great value for writers.

As a writer, I, of course, see value in readers. I want to please, inform, entertain, and intrigue readers. But sometimes I forget that I, too, am a reader and because I want to be a good writer I should be much more than a reader, I should be a voracious reader.

After all, a chef eats, a musician listens to music, a tailor wears clothes, an actor watches plays/movies, a medical persons observes procedures, a swimmer watches others swim, and etc. A writer should read.

"In the ongoing process of becoming a writer, I read and reread the authors I most loved. I read for pleasure, first, but also more...of how sentences were formed..." Reading Like a Writer by Francine Prose

True confession: I have read this year, but only a few books. 

Not that long ago someone like Cec Murphey or Frank Ball challenged those participating in a writers loop to read one hundred books that year. I have so much to learn from them, sigh.

The challenge inspired me. Someone had dared me with a difficult task. I read more than one hundred books that year. It also happened to be one of the best writing years in terms of, wel,l many writing components for me.

So, for my sake, and hopefully your benefit, I chose to make a list: The benefits of reading for a writer. After only ten minutes I came up with twenty-five benefits and am thinking more will pop in my head before this post is published. And I'm sure you will think of some too :)

The Benefits of Reading Voraciously for a Writer:

1. Plot ideas:  A secondary character in a movie said to the MC something like, "I once wanted to be a fashion designer. I learned to sew, studied the fashion magazines, and managed to see a few shows. As the models paraded the new styles I looked at the garments and thought how I would have made it differently." The Trouble with Angels. 

When a writer reads books, many books, new ways of telling stories pop. Fresh, interesting new ideas. Cinderella has been told in countess ways, yet the story always piques our interest. Why? Because the foundation is a good story. Change the setting, themes, characters, throw in this, add that curve, and a new story is born. (i.e. a bookstore worker chatted with me about the Twilight series. She said she loved the books, and in her opinion the series was nothing more than retellings of the classics, but with a new twist.) 

I am one who frets over finding new story ideas. Sometimes the pressure of creating the new perfect story looms over my head. After thinking about this post I realized this was not the key. Writing well and presenting a fresh twist will bring the new story idea.

Since I hate homework, I will give you a challenge--should you chose to play with me--read one book between now and the next post. That means we have two weeks. In this newly read book, search for one way you would changed the story had you thought of the same great idea. What new story could be created?

sample: Cinderella. What if the prince had been changed to a pirate. What if the wicked step mother had been changed to a prince? (Princess Bride)

The purpose of this challenge is to grow an idea pool from the wealth of fabulous books sitting at our fingertips. Are you willing to rise to the challenge? Ready? Go.

Hmm, I've used up today's post with the first benefit on my list. Guess you'll have to come back to see the next one...Buwahahaha...hints of 1001 Arabian Nights.

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This blog post is by Mary Vee

Mary lives in Montana with her husband and loves to hear from her three college kids. She writes Christian young adult fiction (pirate tales, missionary and Bible adventure stories).

Come Step into Someone Else's World with Mary's writing

To learn more about Mary, visit her blog http://www.mimaryvee.blogspot.com/