I Can't Get No Satisfaction... Again.

Can I just say when I sat to write this blog post I just felt, well... empty. Uninspired. Tired. What could I possibly say at a moment like this that will strike a chord with anyone? I drew a big fat blank and so I revisited my old blog, seeking inspiration. Funny enough, my own words from over a year ago came back and nurtured that same weary place in me. These aren't fancy words or some grandiose lesson. We will never have it all together. We might never find it possible to be truly content in right now. But in this simple bare confession, we might, just maybe find common ground. And be inspired for today.

The words may be recycled but they hit me afresh.

March 27, 2013 - I Can't Get No Satisfaction

As I’m certain all of you know by now, life is, well . . . hard. Busy. Hectic. Stressful. Exhausting.

There are countless distractions that steal my time and my focus away from my Source. And often enough, my Source starts to feel like a side dish, and then maybe a dessert, or just an occasional splurge. It’s much more difficult to notice just a pound or two. Most often it’s only when you’re completely out of shape that you start to realize how horrendous your diet has become.

As a mother of two wild-child toddlers (now 2 tots and a baby), most days when I catch my reflection in the mirror I have one of those “Whoa!” moments. As in “Whoa, sister, what the heck happened to you? You used to be kinda cute and, well, skinny, with unlined skin and an almost perpetual grin. 

When did I lose my focus? When did I become complacent? How did I get so out of shape?

With everything in me I want to be desperate for God. But am I? And how, with the kids and the bills, and a marriage, and relationships, and writing, and blogging, and facebook, and church, and missions, and . . . (you get the idea), do I find time to indulge in Him?

In my heart I’m not trying to simply perform or look good on paper so that others might commend my holiness. Ick! Even just thinking that makes me all itchy with the hypocrisy of it all. Legalism. Empty works. Going through the motions.

That is not how I want to glorify the God that is my very breath. The God who has blessed me with this wonderfully exhausting home and family. The God who has never abandoned me even in my darkest, desert nights.

So why do I feel like a snail wiggling inch by inch up an endlessly long and treacherous mountain when, in reality, I know that I will never reach that ideal peak. There is no perfection to be had here. There is no earthy destination where I will have done everything God has for me to do and then I can just dust off my hands, kick up my feet, and wait to see his Glory face-to-face.

Since my efforts very often fall short and leave me filled with frustration, am I bringing Him any glory at all?

A few weeks ago at church my Pastor said something that stuck all over me like winter static. He said:

God is most glorified in you when you are satisfied in Him.

Man, it really got me thinking  . . . Am I satisfied? My life is great, but am I so caught up in my daily struggles that I’m left wanting more without the energy to even cry out for it?

This profound thought has been tooling around in my brain for a few weeks, and yet, I'm not convinced I know how to be fully satisfied with where I am at. Every day is a battle. From the unique struggles that we are facing with our children, to the constant financial battle of getting ahead, and the challenges of my husbands dreadful job (no longer dreadful, hallelujah!), I feel like we are simply pushing through the junk in hopes of the day when things won't be quite so difficult.

But that really just means that we are missing out on what God is trying to teach us right now. Missing out on time that we will never get back. And failing to see that regardless of our circumstances, we are called by God to be a light today. To show his love, joy, grace, and compassion today. To seek him with everything we have, not tomorrow, or when life finally settles down (as if that will ever happen), but TODAY.

What do people see when they look at me? Do they see the snot-crusted mommy who hasn’t had a good nights sleep in almost four years? Or do they see a joyful servant of the Most High, blessed beyond belief and satisfied with the God that is always more than enough?

What about you? Are you shining with His Glory? Or are you so worn out that you can’t even reflect an ounce of His goodness?

Regardless of your struggles, are you satisfied?

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Amy Leigh Simpson writes Romantic Suspense that is heavy on the romance, unapologetically honest, laced with sass and humor, and full of the unfathomable Grace of God. She is the completely sleep deprived mama to two little tow-headed mischief makers, one pretty little princess, and wife to her very own swoon-worthy hero. Represented by the oh-so-wise and dashing Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary Inc.

Sarah's Laugh

Has God ever spoken something to you that you had a hard time believing? Or maybe you believed it once, but as time has gone on, that promise has seemed to flicker and fade?

Seems so much of a writer's life is spent waiting. We wait for clarity, for direction. Then we wait for feedback. We get rejections, so we change our stories. We study and grow in the craft. And then we wait to see if we're yet ready, hoping with baited breath that this will finally, finally be our time.

Can you relate?

Sometimes, in the midst of all that waiting, doubt begins to creep in. We don't always even know that's what's going on. Maybe it's one particular comment a contest judge made, or even a friend. Maybe those around you seem to be making leaps and bounds of progress in their writing journey, meanwhile, you're where you feel like you've always been... waiting.

It can be so hard to hear God's voice in what feels like silence. Have you ever searched, longing for direction, for even a whisper of clarity, and felt like God was hiding out?

Often, I think we shortchange the work of God in our lives. When something seems to be fizzling out, we're quick to get discouraged and leave that project or calling behind, instead of pushing through to the higher purpose God has for our lives. Or, if we do push through, we do so with heavy discouragement and hunched shoulders, filled with doubt and self-consciousness rather than standing strong.

This week, I was reading the story of God's promise to Abraham and Sarah. First, God tells Abraham (then Abram) that he's going to be the father of many nations and richly blessed. Abraham says God must mean He's going to make one of Abraham's servants an heir, to which God says, no--the heir is going to come from Abraham's own bloodline. Already, Abraham's insecurities begin to crop up. He has trouble stepping out in faith because he can't see past the obstacles he's constructed in his own perception.

Then Sarah comes up with a plan. She tells Abraham to have a child with her maidservant because she herself is too old to bear children (a situation which, by the way, God still redeems--meeting Hagar right at the point of her need).

You would think this would give God reason to go back on the deal. But instead, what does He say? He comes to Abraham years down the road--Abraham is now 99--and reaffirms He is going to establish an "everlasting covenant" with Abraham and his descendants. I don't know about you, but this story brings me peace that God does not forget the promises He has declared in our lives, even if we mess up along the way.

Later, three men--an image, I would say, of the trinity--appear before Abraham, and they ask him where his wife Sarah is. He tells them Sarah is inside the tent. This is what follows:

"Then the Lord said, 'I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.'
Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was well past the age of childbearing. So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, 'After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?'
Then the Lord said to Abraham, 'Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?' Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son.'
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, 'I did not laugh.'
But he said, 'Yes, you did laugh.'"
-- Genesis 18:10-15


How many times do we, like Sarah, struggle to believe the promises of the Lord in our lives? How many times do we go as far as laughing at them, then reminding God all the reasons we can't do what He says we will? Think of Moses, struggling with the idea of leading the people of Israel. This concept isn't a new one, even in Biblical times.


When we fail to believe in our ability to carry out the promise of God in our lives, we fail to step into our calling. Like Sarah, we shift our focus from the "could be" to the current obstacles we're facing.



Maybe your doubts are not stemming from feeling too old and dried up. Maybe it's just the opposite. Maybe, like Moses, you feel unqualified. Maybe you've received some harsh feedback that you've taken to heart, and now you doubt your ability to convey emotion on the page, to be vulnerable, to even hear the word of God in your life. Maybe tough circumstances have left you feeling emotionally paralyzed. Maybe you've grown so tired of getting rejections that you just feel like giving up.



I have news for you. Sarah was 90 when she had her first child.

God is a faithful and just God, who will fulfill the promises He has spoken over our lives.

It may take one day, or it may take a hundred years. But that makes no difference. God made a mighty nation out of Abraham's descendants, more numerous than the stars. He didn't give up on Sarah, even when she doubted His word. And He won't give up on you. Keep keeping on. One day, you're going to see the fulfillment of His promise--and just imagine what a glorious day that will be.

Do you struggle with doubt over being a writer? (Don't we all?!) When do you find this doubt hits the hardest? How do you keep it from entangling you and distracting you from your calling?

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Ashley Clark writes romance with southern grace. She's dreamed of being a writer ever since the thumbprint-cookie-days of library story hour. Ashley has an M.A. in English and enjoys teaching literature courses at her local university. She's an active member of ACFW and runs their newcomer's loop. When she's not writing, Ashley's usually busy rescuing stray animals and finding charming new towns. You can find Ashley on her personal blog, Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. She is represented by Karen Solem.

The Ugly Duckling of a Writer

"We find all sorts of ways to take away [distract] from the gift God gave us," Patsy Clairmont stated in her talk at Women of Faith in 2007. My women's group recently watched these dvds, and I thought how timely her message was for my post today.

Before I heard Patsy speak, I was going to title this post, "Distractions: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly". The good being our other gifts from God: our family, our ministries, etc. Sometimes, when these distract us from our writing, it's a needed time to step away. For the bad distractions, I wanted to mention social media. Cringe. Yes, don't hate me, but sometimes social media (Facebook, blogs, pinterest...etc.) is a bad distraction. While it isn't "bad" in itself, when you've carved out a time to write then click over to surf your newsfeed, the distraction will be detrimental to your writing.
I wanted to finish my original post with the "ugly"--what is inside of us that distracts us from our writing: our insecurities, our laziness, our striving to push along the process to publication.


from www.christianphotos.net

Well, God is amazingly faithful in speaking to me about what NEEDS to be said, and when I heard Patsy Clairmont speak, I realized that there was a lot more to be said about the "ugly" than what I first intended. A whole post-ful.

"It's not who you are, but what you're going to become." -Patsy Clairmont

Do you ever sit at your computer and have an internal battle against the distracting whispers of "I'm not good enough," and "what was I thinking"? Perhaps you're not a writer after all? Perhaps you are an ugly duckling, trying to be a swan? This is a deeply rooted distraction from our writing, and can send us into a spiraling chasm of fear and stagnation.

Patsy so poignantly said the above quote when referring to an example in the Old Testament. When the angel came to Gideon in Judges, the angel called Gideon, "a mighty man of power," Gideon was distracted from this amazing visitor by his own insecurity, declaring that he is no man of power because he's from the weakest clan. God is bigger though. God called him to a higher calling. He knew Gideon would be powerful, and if Gideon wasn't distracted by his insecurities and leaned on his faith in God, then he wouldn't need to be convinced by the angel in the first place.

God is El Roi, the God who sees. He sees your insecurities and disabilities, but He also is the giver of your gift to write, and He knows His higher purpose for bestowing that gift upon you.

from www.christianphotos.net

What is so beautiful about this, is that God sees the "swan" that will come from the ugly duckling. A duckling is still learning to swim, to fish, to make it in the great big pond. But if the duckling gets distracted by his mistakes and struggles, then he can't grow to be a self-sufficient duck. What would his Father think if he continued to ignore his purpose, and focused only on the growing pains along the way? And imagine his surprise, when His Heavenly Father promised him more than life as a duck, but the beauty of a glorious swan? God has so much more in store for us than we could ever imagine! Power to a weak man like Gideon, life-changing words to a growing writer like YOU!

When we are distracted from our gift because of our own insecurity, then we are telling God that our Flesh is greater than our Spirit. We are leaning into a lie, not a promise. Ultimately, our ugly distraction becomes a broken trust in God's ability to use us through our writing.

God has great plans for us, and if we allow Him to work through us by weeding out our internal distractions and standing firm in our calling to write, then His promise to bring about His glory through our gift, will begin to sprout copious amounts of fruit! Without that internal distraction, imagine how efficiently you will grow as a writer.
 Don't let your "ugly duckling" syndrome stop you from venturing onward into the waters of His glory. Push aside the distraction.

This type of distraction is disobedience.

Might God whisper, "Obey while I'm fixing you."** Give your gift your full attention, and God will prune away those tawny feathers and promise you the beauty of a glorious swan.

**This quote is from Patsy Clairmont's talk. She is so wise! :)

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Angie Dicken first began writing fiction as a creative outlet during the monotonous days of diapers and temper tantrums. She is passionate to impress God's love on women regardless of their background or belief. This desire serves as a catalyst for Angie's fiction, which weaves salvation and grace themes across historical cultures and social boundaries. Angie is an ACFW member and is represented by Tamela Hancock Murray of the Steve Laube Agency.