The Telling Detail

Some authors have the uncanny ability to bring their novels to life using rich, telling details.

I'm not talking about using heaps of description. Let's face it, your reader is most likely to skim right over endless paragraphs of flowery, adjective-laden prose.

I'm talking about those small, concrete details that make a scene ring true to life. A character feel real. A setting come alive so you can practically touch, smell and taste it.

These details are often simple, but the most powerful examples never feel clichéd. The author finds a way to describe something ordinary in a way that feels fresh, yet also deeply familiar.

Image by papaija2008

Today I wanted to share with you some examples from authors I love. Notice the way a talented writer will focus in on one or two small, seemingly trivial details within the larger frame.

"She was a big rawboned plain person, tall and unlikely, with a ragged haircut and a white tee-shirt coming unstitched along the shoulder." - The Idea of Perfection, Kate Grenville

"The coffee was so strong it didn't change color when she poured the milk in. 'You look different,' she said. We sat down at her dining room table, gilded chairs with harp backs. She pulled out small mats with Dutch tulips for our cups." - White Oleander, Janet Fitch

"The guy's wearing a khaki uniform, maybe he's come up from the engine room. He kneels, sets up some kind of monitor, and positions two things with black cords coming out of them on Mr. Stone's battered chest. He has short, blunt fingers with black hairs on them." - The Last Girls, Lee Smith.

"It was 1948 and the countryside, now that I think back on it, was as peaceful and well-ordered as an illustration from a Dick-and-Jane book. Lone gasoline pumps, fields flowered over like bedspreads. Trees turning perfectly red and perfectly yellow. At the entrance to the fairgrounds, a billboard showed a lipsticked, finger-waved housewife holding up a jar of homemade preserves."

In each of these examples, notice that the choice of detail is quite precise and deliberate. What do you think the author is trying to say about the character or setting she is describing?

In these next examples, the authors engage our senses in unexpected ways.

"The horses were behind them, still harnessed but unhitched from the plough, cropping grass with a sound like tearing bed sheets. The tea came out of a thermos but was still hot enough to take the roof off your mouth." - The Other Side of the Bridge, Mary Lawson

"Her hair, the color of caramel straw, was very straight and tattered at the ends; she was chewing gum and a strong smell of Juicy Fruit was coming off her."- The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt

"There was the barbecue with the men around it poking at the cooking meat, and a big table in the shade under a tree, the food all covered with little domes of fly-wire, and a square of bright blue swimming-pool where children were jumping in, splashing up water that was like chips of glass in the sun." - The Idea of Perfection, Kate Grenville

Which of these examples says something to you as a reader? What feelings or associations or ideas do they conjure? 

Your turn. Would you share with us a sentence or two from your WIP where you've used a concrete detail to illuminate a character or setting?

Karen Schravemade lives in Australia, where she mothers by day and transforms into a fearless blogger by night. She's a Genesis finalist for women's fiction and is represented by Rachel Kent of Books & Such. Find her on Twitter, Google+, Pinterest, and getting creative on her home-making blog, A house full of sunshine.

Digging for Jewels: the power of original description

At the risk of sounding like a snob, I have a confession to make. I adore literary writing.

Literary books often get a bad rap, because let’s face it, they can be dense and slow-moving. But if you can get past that, you’ll find the writing often sings with fresh and unexpected imagery and beautiful turns of phrase.

Searching for the right adjective, the right word is like digging in the sand. Easy just to shovel up a spadeful and fling it in the bucket without thinking too hard about it. It takes an artist to dig for the treasure in every turn of phrase, every description, refusing to settle for the stale or mundane.

Nothing turns me off a book quicker than overused turns of phrase. To me it shows a lack of care for craftsmanship. And if you, the author, don’t care about the words you choose, why should I invest in those words as a reader?

Here are some ideas for keeping your descriptions fresh.

1. Eliminate clichés.

Clichés have become cliché for a reason. When first coined, these turns of phrase were considered so dazzlingly original, so apt, that they became wildly popular. Now they’re overused because successive generations of writers have been too lazy to reach for their own original and apt expressions.

Read through your manuscript. Have you used any clichés like these? Thin as a rail. Neat as a pin. Fresh as a daisy. Clear as crystal.

Or these? Her hands were cold as ice. His heart beat like a drum.

Yawn.

Get out your pruning shears. Lop those suckers out of your manuscript. Now it’s time to reinvigorate your descriptions.

2. Brainstorm alternatives.

Okay, so rails are thin. What else is thin? Don’t censor yourself. As fast as you can, write a list of a dozen alternative ideas.

Now have a look back over what you’ve written. Do any of these alternate descriptions have additional shades of meaning that may suggest something else about your character, other than mere physical thinness?

For example – Thin as a dandelion stem. A dandelion is a pretty weed. Could you imagine using this description for an emotionally fragile young girl who, although fresh and lovely, sees herself as worthless?

What about this? Thin as a kite string. A kite string snaps with brisk energy. This description would be fitting for a playful boy.

Or this. Thin as the leather-bound ledger she kept on her desk. I’m picturing a woman who is precise and particular, and somewhat lacking in humor.

See how this sort of imagery enriches your writing? Suddenly your description is doing double-duty. You’ve harnessed an obvious physical characteristic and used it to give subtle insights into character.

3. Make new connections.

When describing an object or setting, ask yourself what the image reminds you of. The obvious parallels are always the first to spring to mind. Shadows reached across the path like fingers. The wind moaned in the eaves. Now think again. What unexpected associations can you conjure?

Shadow and moon-fall braided themselves across the path.

A bossy wind scolded at his window, clucking and fussing amongst the leaves. Can you picture the wind as an outspoken housewife?

In Katy Popa’s beautiful book, The Feast of Saint Bertie, she describes the “marigold flames” consuming her protagonist’s house. Comparing something so ravaging to a flower is out-of-the-ordinary. But suddenly, through those words, we see the fire as a thing of unexpected beauty. Can’t you just picture the vivid orange-yellow of those flames?

One of my favorite examples is from The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. He describes a person sitting on the step in a pair of  “decomposing shoes.”

He could have described the shoes as worn-out, moldering, wet, smelly, or falling-apart. Instead he selected one unusual word that sums up all of these things in a powerful word-picture. What’s more, this one detail gives us instant insight into the character, revealing more about them than could have been achieved in a page of more mundane description.

4. Read poetry.

In a poem, every word counts. Therefore, the poet chooses each word with care, often creating word pictures of startling originality and simplicity as a result.

How about these beautiful lines by poet Brook Emery, taken from her poem “Night”?

Expectation stitches me to the dark, makes silence that can be touched.

During the day rain falls as light, at night it falls as sound

Like a fish twisting against the line

I’m drawn into the sharp transactions of the light.

As you read poetry, you’ll train yourself to see the world in new ways, forming new associations that may not previously have occurred to you.

5. Grow your vocabulary.

Be intentional about it. The best way to do this is by reading widely and recording new words in a notebook. If you come across a word you don’t know, look it up. Write it down. The more words you know, the more you shades of nuance you’ll have access to in your writing.

But do all of this with one important caveat. Namely:

6. Don’t fall prey to purple prose.

The true power of literary description lies in its simplicity and restraint. One truly apt word, one lean and carefully crafted sentence is more powerful than a dozen overused phrases.

Aussie writer Tim Winton is a master at this. Here are some of his lines from “Dirt Music” and “The Turning”:

The girl’s “lank blond hair fretted in the wind.”

The man’s “crow’s feet like knife cuts.”

The fire “sucked the air from the room and danced before him like a thought just out of reach.”

The blood “runs thin as copper wire in his veins.”

His breath “aglow like a coal in his chest.”

The night is “hot and salted with stars.”

Your turn. What beautiful turns of phrase have you uncovered recently?

Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Karen Schravemade lives in Australia. When she's not chasing after two small boys or gazing at her brand-new baby girl, she spends her spare minutes daydreaming about the intricate lives of characters who don't actually exist. Find her on her website, on Twitter or getting creative over at her mummy blog.

Making the Old New: A Family Film Favorite ~ Loving Leah

It’s my mom and dad’s favorite Sunday night movie. It’s such a tradition to the end of their Sunday, my sister has finally quit groaning when she hears Loving Leah is the film of choice.

But aside from just being a really good story, there is masterful characterization and a twist on a tried and true cliché.

I figured many of you would not have heard or seen this movie (it’s a Hallmark Hall of Fame film), but I couldn’t resist hitting a few of the high points that makes this film a favorite.

Breaking a Cliché:

There are many books and movies of convenient marriage. We have most likely become sick of the tried and true Love Comes Softly formula. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with those stories (they are some of my favorite kind), but HOW you write those stories is what will make you stand out.

Leah Lever is married and then widowed by an Orthodox Jewish rabbi. And now her deceased husband’s brother must marry Leah or his brother’s name will die along with him.

You would EXPECT Jake to forgo his responsibility to his sister-in-law. But his brother was everything to him when he was young. His only option is to marry Leah (aside from the fact he has a serious girlfriend) and they will live like “roommates” until other arrangements can be made.

Already, the screenwriter has changed the normal story of a forced marriage around. By using a religious requirement/restriction we have a different take.

What can be learned? Look for the odd, for the new to make your story unique and different. You can have an old story idea. We all are writing a story that has been written before, it’s depending on how you write it. You’ll probably have to dig, like this writer did with an Orthodox and not so Orthodox Jewish family coming together in marriage, but your story will stick with your reader because it.

Make it complicated

What I love about this movie, is how complicated the emotions become in the story. I’m going to bullet point a few of them.

·         Jake has a steady girlfriend who is just waiting for THE question to be popped.

·         Umm…then he brings home a wife. Not so good for the girlfriend

·         Leah is an Orthodox Jew. Her new husband is not. And Mama does not like this.

·         With pressure from Leah’s mother, Leah and Jake must hold up the façade of their marriage. And that isn’t easy when she comes to visit.

·         Leah is falling in love. With her husband. But Jake is still stuck on the girlfriend.

·         So while we see Leah changing and adapting to Jake’s world, Jake is planning a trip to Jamaica with the girlfriend.

Life isn’t easy for either Jake or Leah at this point. But as the other grows closer together and can no longer deny their feelings, new complications arise.

They are now living as husband and wife, but when the news roles around that Leah’s first husband’s headstone is ready to be unveiled, Jake and Leah are faced with new complications. Which ultimately lead to the black moment and the point of seemingly no return.

The many subplots and layers that run through the story all add depth to the overall plot, which is Leah and Jake falling in love within the bounds of holy matrimony.

What can we learn? When we write our stories, we need to look for complications that will not only add depth to our story, but in some way add tension and drama to our overall plot. If you have a secondary layer in your story that never feeds into the main plot, I would strongly suggest cutting it out and finding something different.

What makes this movie such a favorite in my home is I believe this one fact: the triumph of love over any obstacle.

Which if you look closely, is the basis of a lot of plots today. But the triumph has to be equal to the struggles. We have to have a reason to want that love to fight through the battle to reach the other side. And we have to have struggles that will push our characters, that will leave the reader/viewer cheering or groaning and we have to have an ending that completely satisfies every obstacle.

We have to have the promise that none of those obstacles are going to arise again.

We promise a happy ending in fiction when we start writing or reading a book. That no matter what, these characters are going to come out the other side and be completely changed and new.

But you can’t have a satisfying ending unless your obstacles are challenging, resolved and promised that the characters have grown and changed enough that these challenges can never harm them again.

It’s a promise we have to keep and one we expect. Don’t disappoint your reader, especially in this regard!

Do you have a film that you love, that breaks an old cliché or has a challenging obstacle/ satisfying ending? 

Let It Stew

If you’re anything like me, a fresh idea for a story has the power to sweep you away. I’m all for spontaneous bursts of creativity and I lean toward being more of a pantser than a plotter, but it’s worth it to give a new novel idea time. In the same way a stew grows more flavorful as hours pass, a novel that’s been given time to marinate leaves a lasting taste with readers.

Five Reasons Why it’s Important to Let Your New Idea Stew:

Test your charactersJust as some foods don’t improve the quality of their taste over time, you may find after a month or two of plotting, certain characters aren’t strong enough or exceptional enough to survive in one of your novels. Or you might even decide if they’re grating on you after only one month, if it’s worth it to keep with them through the long publication process.

Measure the plotWhen you cook you pay attention to what you add to a recipe. A plot needs time to develop. This is not to say you need to wait to begin writing until the entire plot is organized. Wonderful new twists have come to me as I’m working on a novel. But, it’s essential to evaluate before you type the first word if you have enough conflict and a compelling idea.

Sift out clichésI took copious notes on two novels I grew increasingly ecstatic about. That is until I reexamined the story lines and saw them for what they were—cliché. I scratched both ideas. The publishing industry is slow moving. Concepts must be unique to make it.

Spice and flavor develops over timeThere are particular nuances when allotted the time to simmer create a beautiful and unexpected blend. In stews and in novels.

One ingredient can’t compare to the deliciousness of an assembled stewTake rice for example, rice by itself is well, it’s okay. But rice in a meaty stew adds to the texture and the flavor. All the ingredients matter in a stew. Time creates that mouth-watering goodness. You might think of a power character, but have you provided him or her with a knock-out story to engage readers?

The next time a novel bubbles and you’re chomping at your gums (I play) to get to it, I say let it stew.

Can you think of other benefits of letting novel ideas stew?

*photos from Flickr