#TipfulTuesday Scenes That Propel Story

#TipfulTuesday Scene Setting Tips
(The bridge in the photo is significant for this topic...read to the end to see why)

When the story scene moves to a new location, the writer provides a brief description, transporting the reader there.

The point of today's post is to show the flaw in that statement.

Yes, each new scene should have a description. 

Brief at first. More revealing as action and dialogue quickly take over. Readers want to know if they are underwater, on a mountaintop, in an office room, a small town, etc. This is essential for storycraft.

So, what is the error in the introductory sentence to this post?

"The writer provides."

Setting the scene will look very different depending on the POV character, and as a result, sets the tone and so much more. It's true!

Say, for example, the scene is in a living room. This is the first time this living room has been in the story.

The POV character is a female detective. Her boyfriend left for Italy with another woman on a business trip this morning. He didn't say goodbye. A body is on the floor. When the detective walks into the room does she first see the body or the Italian deco? Well, that would depend on where her mind is at that moment. Is she in the job? Then the body. If she struggles with her relationship, then the deco. 

Both will be described in this scene because both are essential. The Italian deco lets readers see more than just a body and carpet. Naturally, hidden clues can only be seen if the description takes readers beyond the body. Still, readers want to know more about the crime. Who died? A child, a woman, a man with a mask and a gun in his hand, etc.?

The first descriptive sentences of a scene propel the story forward, indicating exactly where the POV character's focus is. The first also tends to go deeper for that very reason.

Therefore both answers can be correct. It simply depends on the forward momentum of this story at this time. 


 A great resource for more information is, Kathy Tyers Writing Deep Viewpoint.

Do you have questions?

Oh, and the Venetian bridge in the photo served as the last view a prisoner received of the world before guards took him or her to prison. Can you image their POV when looking out this window? Changes the way you first looked at this photo. Right?

~Mary Vee
Photo taken in Venice, by Mary Vee

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Mary Vee -Rock climbing, white-water rafting, and hiking top Mary’s list of ways to enjoy a day. She was homeless for a time, was a teacher, a missionary, and married an Air Force vet. Mary has been a finalist in several writing contests and writes for her King.

Visit Mary at her Website, Blog, and her ministry blog to families: God Loves Kids. Or chat on Facebook or Twitter

When Less Really IS More

We all know some glaringly obvious places where less is more.


Perfume....

Makeup... (although depends on who you talk to...)

Stress...

But what about our writing life?

I've been contemplating the concept lately, because it feels like I'm always feeling the pull to DO more and BE more, but as I strive to do so, it doesn't feel like I have more of anything except items on my to-do list.

We need a BIGGER platform, MORE books MORE frequently. We're told to post more, blog more, write more, network more, market more. We're given so many different social media sites to keep up with to help do all that--but it just burns us out and in the end, can be counter productive.

I've long been a avid fan of the concept of WORKING SMART.

Have you ever had a job where there is that one employee who works ALL the time? They come in early, leave late. They are constantly stressed. Everyone thinks, WOW, what a good worker are THEY. But then they leave the company due to burnout... and their replacement is hired... and comes in on time. Leaves on time. Actually takes a lunch break instead of working through it. They must be huge slackers, right? But their work is still getting done, with more accuracy than it was ever being done before.

They've embraced the concept of working smarter.

I think writers can do the same thing. It's still gonna be hard work. I'm not preaching laziness here, but more of a balanced work-life. If we take the time to step back and see what VALUE each of the things we are doing adds, if we put a little time into strategizing instead of just throwing as many darts as possible and hoping one sticks and sells books, we'll have a lot more confidence and a lot more time than we thought possible.

And as Christian authors, I want to add that this doesn't discount the leading and direction of God. God's plans trump ours EVERY day of the week. I do think God wants us to be wise stewards of the time he's given us though.

I started this post with the intent of giving you specific ways you can work smarter instead of harder.

But honestly?

The concept looks different for each of us. What is smarter for ME might not work at all for you.

The Writer's Alley chose to cut down our blogging days from 5 to 3 this month, because we felt that we would add more value if we posted less and focused more on quality verses quantity. But that might not be what YOU need to do. Maybe working smarter for your blog is planning your posts better, or cutting down to one day a week, or creating a more uniform format, or even cutting out blogging all together.

Facebook and social media is another area where we all really need to figure out how to manage better. For some people, scheduling posts to automatically post works, but that rarely if ever is a good idea for me because it doesn't fit into my "brand" if you will. I WILL say that Facebook is one place that I think we tend to over post sometimes. More posts does not mean a bigger platform, in fact it can often times weaken it.

And then there is writing time in general. I used to take every little nook and cranny time I had to write. But I became very burnt out on writing because of it. I'm finding that I can write more words--and better quality words--when I, for example, write for 4 hours at a time verse 6 stinks of one-hour-writing times. But that is me. YOU might find the opposite.

So my encouragement to you today--especially if you are time strapped and feeling overwhelmed--invest a few hours into really looking at your writing life. Pray about it. Examine what you are doing and identify what isn't working--what is taking up your time and energy and giving you little or no return (be it money, word count, platform, blog followers, etc) on your investment.

Because time and energy are just as much investments as money is. Just a different variety!

Let's chat!

What are some areas in your writing life where you need to "work smarter?" I'll be around throughout the day, and would love to help brainstorm some ideas with you!

MC's Pearl-A Treasure Every Reader Will Want

Your story is great!

MC begins her story with such a problem readers will simply have to read what happens to her. How does she work through these issues? And oh, the climax moment, readers will be on the edge of their seat whipping pages to see if she makes it through! Great writing.

But somehow, as you do edits you feel like something is missing. That "mm" factor. What perfect gem is needed to satisfy your soul, MC's heart, and keep this story in the forefront of reader's minds?

In truth, this is the jewel of Christian fiction. 

The pearl of great price that draws readers to this story.

MC has whispered the answer in your ear. She has a hidden need. One that is deeper than the story. One that she has kept secret, afraid to admit the truth to you and herself. It is a spiritual need.

Have you noticed, from the beginning, MC was in the right place where this spiritual need absolutely had to be met--so desperately? At first romance or some other need struck MC and even you, the author, as the primary need. And maybe it was. But much, much more--this hidden spiritual need poke it's head up in crucial times of the story.

How can this hidden need play a greater role in the story?

1. Introduce the hidden need progressively. One of the key components of a spiritual truth is to not write preachy. We all have spiritual needs. We know this. But we don't want to be beaten up with it. Jesus always worked these truths like a fine golden thread through the tapestry of His stories. 

2. MC then needs something tangible to provide the way to meet this need.

3. Unfortunately, MC will not have an easy time of this. No MC ever does. MC now understands the way to satisfy this hidden need, but must walk through the steps. And fail. And try again. And question before a bona fide change will happen in her life.

4. Just as the man dug to find his pearl in Jesus' story and held it in his hands, so too, MC's hidden need must be displayed in her story. Not blatantly. Instead, creatively woven in MC's pages.

5. MC's hidden need should be crafted not as a layer, but as a spice in her story. First, bitter. Then, as MC walks through her story, the hidden need becomes a savory revelation, and finally a sweet, delicious change. One she will never regret making. In fact, the reader, too, will find herself wanting to satisfy the hidden need in her own life and desire to pay the price to buy the field and own the pearl. 

Maybe you have a personal hidden need begging to be satisfied. You know the answer. God has told you. But you are afraid to follow through because of the great price. If we can be of any encouragement to you, if we can pray for you, please let us know. You will find the Alley Cats are prayer warriors.

What examples of heart needs can be used in our stories? Sometimes the answer is in front of our face and we can't see it. We can help each other by making this resource list. Please share you idea in the comment section.

Research for today's post came from Nancy Rue's class at Mt. Hermon Writer's Conference.  Photo courtesy

I can't wait to read your comment(s)!

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Rock climbing, white-water rafting, zip lining, and hiking top Mary's list of great ways to enjoy a day. Such adventures can be found in her stories as well.

Mary writes young adult mystery/suspense, is honing marketing and writing skills, and loves to pen missionary and tell Bible event stories on her ministry blog, God Loves Kids. She has finaled in several writing contests.

Visit Mary at her website, blog, and her ministry blog to families: God Loves Kids. Or chat on Facebook or Twitter

All subscribers to Mary's newsletter will receive her new short story an intriguing suspense/mystery. Come, read a good story. To get your free gift, sign up for the newsletter at Mary's website or:  Join the adventure!

Subscribe to Mary Vee's Never Give Up Stories 

Luring Readers Beyond "The End"

Are you interested in having more than one book published? I know I am. So what causes readers to hunt for the author's name instead of searching for great cover art when looking for the next book to buy? Today's discussion provides one intriguing answer. 

There are certain books, movies, and TV shows that have more than a timeless lure. Why is that?  

For today's post, I reached back into TV time to present this masterful writing skill. The screenwriters of the Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Twilight Zone, and the Outer Limits shows, (aired in the 1960's) used a linear direction to pull viewers into the story....

1.Introduced Characters
2.Presented the main character's problem
3.Revealed problems that prevented main character from solving their problem
4.Solve the problem
5.The end 

Sounds familiar, right? This is the same formula we all use for our stories. The difference happens in the next step. Yes. There is "the next step"

When watching one of the shows I mentioned, I am convinced I know the direction the story is heading. I predict what will happen next without even knowing I am doing this. Based on the character's actions the ending has to be.... Isn't this a nice story.

And although I have paid attention to the plot, even searched for the clue that will be the foundation to the ending, and find it, I am so engaged in the storytelling and so convinced of the ending that I am taken by surprise at the last hurrah. Yep every time.

For example- Hitchcock presented a story about a man who had a bothersome wife. He wanted to get rid of her. He dug a hole in the cellar and told his wife he was making a wine cellar. She mentioned to her friends at a party that she was excited about the Christmas present for her husband. He told the friends he and his wife may not return from their dream holiday trip for months. The husband kills his wife and buries her in the foundation for the wine cellar then takes the trip he and his wife planned.

This story moved in a linear way. We meet hubby. See from his view why he is bothered by his wife. Watch him dig the hole and convince his wife this was for a wine cellar. The party happens and they chat with their friends. He kills her, buries her in the hole, then packs for the trip and leaves. End of story? 

Seems like it.

But.

Even with a stellar script and Oscar performances the audience/readers would NOT be inclined to say, I can't wait to read another. The reader wouldn't be upset or dissatisfied...he or she just wouldn't be overly satisfied or eager to find another story by this author. 

The story has intrigue, mystery, suspense. The main character solves his problem. All the components to a great story.

What is it missing? 

The lure. The last hurrah, the moment when I was so engaged I didn't feel the rug being pulled out from under me and left thinking back through the story...and remembering the next day-- found in every episode of the shows I mentioned.

Shall I spoil this little story for you? Yes, I will. The last hurrah for the miserable husband came at the holiday resort where he sat on the sunny veranda. A knock on the door. He answers and is handed an envelope delivered by messenger. The paper inside was a receipt--for services rendered in making a wine cellar in his home's basement paid for by his wife. The Christmas present.

A lure is that little piece beyond the technical ending intended to grab the reader and say, remember this author's name. Buy another book, right now. Yes, get your coat, go online, you must have another story by this author...now.

Does this only apply to mystery/suspense...NO. All it takes is one little line at the end of any genre. Here is an example..do you recall the ending line to Gone With the Wind? Scarlett says it after Rhett leaves. She closes the door and says, "I'll think about that tomorrow." THERE IT IS!!!  The lure.

Consider adding a lure on to the end of your WIP.

To help you think of one, find three lures in stories or movies you already know. The movie Cast Away with Tom Hanks has a wonderful one. Be sure to share in the comment section.

I can't wait to read your comment(s)!

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Rock climbing, white-water rafting, and hiking top Mary's list of great ways to enjoy a day. Such adventures can be found in her stories as well.

Mary writes young adult mystery/suspense, is honing marketing and writing skills, and loves to pen missionary and tell Bible event stories on her ministry blog, God Loves Kids. She has finaled in several writing contests.

Visit Mary at her website, blog, and her ministry blog to families: God Loves Kids. Or chat on Facebook or Twitter

All subscribers to Mary's newsletter will receive her new short story an intriguing suspense/mystery. Come, read a good story. To get your free gift, sign up for the newsletter at Mary's website or:  Join the adventure!

Subscribe to Mary Vee's Never Give Up Stories 

What Agents and Editors Don't like to See In Stories

An agent stood in front of a class at a conference and said, if the manuscript has three paragraphs in a row starting with the same subject (I, character's name, other pronoun) then I don't want it.

That simple.

Such an easy formula to remember. The same is true within a paragraph. Three sentences in a row should not start with the same subject word.

Sometimes we don't notice we're doing this. We're engaged in the story, letting our character's speak, typing, filling the page and voila story. Except....not so much.

I've come to think of this as grocery store list writing. Here is an extreme example of what I mean:

Photo Courtesy

John took the grocery list and put it in his pocket. 
He climbed into his car and turned on the engine. 
He drove to the store and parked.
He walked inside the store and to the produce section where he bought apples, oranges, and bananas. 
He browsed the meat department and put a pound of chicken in his cart.
He hurried to the self-checkout. 
John drove home and made dinner.

Since we should speak in positives first, I can say this story is in chronological order. That--is about it. Yeah, this isn't even organized in paragraphs. It looks pretty bad, eh? What are some of the components that qualify this as a story in desperate need of editing?

1. While white space is essential in writing, there needs to be a sense of "meat on the bones" for a page. Substance. Too many short paragraphs on a page gives a sense of stuttering, strobing, or snacking. Readers NEED senses on the page. Help them see, hear, smell, taste, feel the scene. Also, letting the balance scale tip toward one sense equally creates a problem.

2. Variety is the spice of writing. Focusing on John's every movement during his shopping trip is boring.

3. Use setting to aid the break-up of a character's steps through the grocery store.

Your turn. What else can we do or not do to help make John's story interesting?

Hold on--wait--did I hear a reader say this doesn't happen in their writing? Uh huh. Take out your recent unpublished manuscript. Flip through the pages or do a search for your main character. Be sure to include "he" if a male, "she" if female. How many sentences or paragraphs begin with the same pronoun or subject name in a row?

Editors and Agents spy these in a nano second.

Back to John. Believe it or not an entire short story could be built around John's trip to the store. How?

Setting and senses. The perfect ingredients.

Photo Courtesy

Let's say that John lived in tornado alley and the shopping trip took place on Friday, June 13th.

On the other side of town, Tom Penniless received a notice. His boss hated to let him go, but loss in company revenues forced him to decrease staff. Tom's daughter had heart problems. A balloon payment on his house came in the mail. At the end of his rope, Tom decided to rob the newly built grocery store.

Tom arrived at the store as John chose the perfect bunch of bananas. John hears the noise at the front of the store and creeps toward the meat section in the back aisle. Threats to shoot shoppers lead him to hide behind the counter.

The tornado siren blares from the tower located in the parking lot. 

John dropped the chicken package on the floor, his hands trembled. Last year the entire town had turned into toothpicks after a tornado barreled through.

Petrified from the siren, Tom orders everyone to the back of the store. He shoots to make the shoppers and workers move faster.


Are ideas swirling in your mind? Can you take this a step farther and get John to the cash register and home? See how adding in setting, a layered secondary plot or two (here we have Tom's problem and the city's history with tornados).

When you find yourself repeating or listing, MIX IT UP. Draw in senses, setting, and pieces from the layered plots.

Caveat- Hype is not necessarily the answer. A catastrophe is not needed in every chapter. Instead, lavish the reader with senses. 

I can't wait to read your comment(s)!

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Rock climbing, white-water rafting, and hiking top Mary's list of great ways to enjoy a day. Such adventures can be found in her stories as well.

Mary writes young adult mystery/suspense, is honing marketing and writing skills, and loves to pen missionary and tell Bible event stories on her ministry blog, God Loves Kids. She has finaled in several writing contests.

Visit Mary at her website, blog, and her ministry blog to families: God Loves Kids. Or chat on Facebook or Twitter

All subscribers to Mary's newsletter will receive her new short story an intriguing suspense/mystery. Come, read a good story. To get your free gift, sign up for the newsletter at Mary's website or:  Join the adventure!

Subscribe to Mary Vee's Never Give Up Stories 

"In the Weeds"-The Rush That Rewards-Even if You Have Allergies!

"In the weeds" is a culinary term chefs use when the kitchen is overwhelmed with customer orders (tickets). A whole culinary vocabulary kicks into action revving up slicing, hot pans moving behind chefs who are busily pivoting to counters to reach what they need. What appears to be mass chaos is actually a well organized panic.

When the "tickets" are caught up, the chefs refill supplies, slicing, dicing, browning etc. No rest, but a time to regroup and feel good about the job.

I thought writers could appropriate this term. Sure seems like we walk through the weeds sometimes, right?

Most of us hold down a day job while writing and marketing. If only we could hire a chef to make dinner for the family!

When we look back at these moments--these frantic, I'm never going to get through this moment--we can see booming rewards and remember the sensation of rush.


What we can do while we're in the weeds:

1. Work fast.

2. Don't skip any steps.

3. Do what helps to keep the frustration and anger at bay (chocolate, tea, quick run on the treadmill)

4. Keep the to-do list close by.

5. Check things off as you do them (love--love seeing those check marks!)

6. Tell all your friends and old enough to understand family members. On a regular basis I see writers post they are going off line due to a deadline. Below their FB post, I see tons of well wishing comments. The benefit of letting everyone know is: no one will send a message or call asking if you are well, if you have a problem...etc. They all know you are working at hyper speed to meet the deadline. BTW this can also be a self made deadline. One where you decide x number of words/editing must get done.

7. The scene is set, the adrenalin is rushing--don't allow ANY distractions to keep you from meeting the goal. (A sick child is not a distraction-these situations are enhancers--think about it. True, eh?)


What should happen when we step out of the weeds into a calm meadow:

1. Your mind will be in a whirlwind. Take time to debrief. Journal, soak your neck muscles in a long, hot shower, get away from your workplace, find something/someone that will make you laugh.

2. Don't fret if the next day you haven't a clue what you did. BECAUSE you DID do your best in the weeds. After the calm comes, take a look at the awesome list that you checked off. Feel free to celebrate.

3. Don't second guess yourself or your work. If you absolutely MUST edit one more time, then do it ONE more time. Get the project our of your hands. Send it to a critique partner if you are unsure the project is ready to go to an editor or agent. When the project comes back, you will be refreshed and ready to take an objective look.  Quality is CRUCIAL. But no one will read the story if the send button isn't pressed.


Chefs never know when they will be thrown into the weeds. A day's shift can go by with few orders. But then an invisible town cryer hits the streets and calls everyone to head for the restaurant. The hype is so stimulating. None of the cooks are hungry or thirsty during this blitz. The head chef even has to remind his workers to drink. Keep hydrated. Hurry. Order up. Service!

A writer's walk through the weeds is just as exhilarating. Muscles tense, words fly, the computer screams for the power cord to be plugged in, doubts are squashed, progress is made, the microwave beeps-coffee/tea is reheated, pumped to finish. Hurry. Story is finished. THE END.

Sometimes I think we need to just schedule a day in the weeds. What do you think? 



Photo Courtesy

I can't wait to read your comment(s)!

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Rock climbing, white-water rafting, and hiking top Mary's list of great ways to enjoy a day. Such adventures can be found in her stories as well.

Mary writes young adult mystery/suspense, is honing marketing and writing skills, and loves to pen missionary and tell Bible event stories on her ministry blog, God Loves Kids. She has finaled in several writing contests.

Visit Mary at her website, blog, and her ministry blog to families: God Loves Kids. Or chat on Facebook or Twitter

All subscribers to Mary's newsletter will receive her new short story an intriguing suspense/mystery. Come, read a good story. To get your free gift, sign up for the newsletter at Mary's website or:

Subscribe to Mary Vee's Never Give Up Stories 

How to Trade Stress Writing for Total, Absolute, Epic Excitement Writing

My children enjoy playing video games. They are willing to restart levels even entire games after hitting a roadblock. The competition is liken to a perpetual Super Bowl.

Starting at level one is so exciting for them. Their character bumps unto things, falls over cliffs, sinks in water, and any other variation on the obstacle gamers invent. My kids replay levels over and over until they pass to some mysterious, unseen next level. Poof. A new scene with new obstacles and pitfalls appears. And although they may sink or fall and will have to start the entire game all over, they do--with the energy of the Huns ready to overcome.

This is the life of a writer.

We start at level one and face obstacles like: 

* organizing/outlining an entire book
* disciplining ourselves to write everyday
* realizing that the first draft is not publishable quality
* finding out we have more to learn about grammar
* how to write a good beginning, middle, and end
* taking the time to read, read, read. BTW, The best way to learn the craft.
* holding the storyline to one main problem for one main character crafting strong villains
* accepting and growing from other writer's critiques

Once we hear that longed-for-music that indicates we have passed level one we move on to level two.

In level two we face obstacles like:

* humbling ourselves to reading our story outlaid to detect errors
* learning how to self edit
* learning how to add layers to the story and not let those layers steal the show start networking by:
     setting up author pages, blogs, twitter, etc accounts
     connecting with groups that can relate to your book
     participate in these groups without promoting a book. Become one of the gang. Be faithful to these and grow your tribe.
* learn how to develop your characters into 3-D characters who are so memorable their name along forms a picture in a 
     hearer's mind.
* enter contests. This will let others know your name, your genre, and possibly give you a contact to get your book published, 
    not to mention a critique.

Again the music plays indicating we have passed level two and have moved on to level three:

In level three we face obstacles like:

* Polish your manuscripts so they are the best example of a well written story.
* Start writing another story
* Send out proposals to agents/editors. 
                   OR 
* Research indie publishing. There are many resources out there to help you. Don't settle to 
      get your book published. Look for the gold. The one that will make your debut novel stand 
      out online and in stores.
* Up the networking. Branch out to more groups. Build your tribe. The more people who will  
      recognize your name, the more will be interested in looking at your book.
* Set up a newsletter and get off the ground.
* Research avenues to promote your book. Can you set up a radio interview, speak to a club, 
* Write an article in a magazine that has similar interests. 
* Enter contests. This will let others know your name, your genre, and possibly give you a 
      contact to get your book published, not to mention a critique.

At any time we can be sent back to the beginning of the game. Starting over with level one can be discouraging. But, we can learn from the kids who play video games. Shrug it off and allow yourself to be excited to play again. Always with the goal of publication in mind.

Oh, publication, BTW is not the end of the highest level. Publication is the door to yet another level. AND since I am still trying to get to that level, I have not seen the obstacles. I don't really know how many levels there are...or if anyone has reached the "top level."

Perhaps you have romped around on the Publication level of the Writing Game. What obstacles have you faced?

Perhaps you, like me are still romping around on levels one, two, and three. What other obstacles have you encountered?

I can't wait to read your comment(s)!

Photo Courtesy of header photo.

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Rock climbing, white-water rafting, and hiking top Mary's list of a great ways to enjoy a day. These can be found in her stories as well.

Mary writes young adult mystery/suspense, is honing marketing and writing skills, and loves to pen missionary and tell Bible event stories on her ministry blog, God Loves Kids. She has finaled in several writing contests.

Visit Mary at her website, blog, and her ministry blog to families: God Loves Kids. Or chat on Facebook or Twitter

All subscribers to Mary's newsletter will receive her new short story an intriguing suspense/mystery. Come, read a good story. To get your free gift, sign up for the newsletter at Mary's website or:

Subscribe to Mary Vee's Never Give Up Stories