Mentored: Answers to our Show Don't Tell Questions with Randy Ingermanson

I have had many question about the topic  Show Don't Tell. It's a complicated subject.


Seems to me Show Don't Tell rules make hiking up Mt. Everest look like a stroll on the beach.

Sometimes I feel like no matter how much I edit, I can't fully weed out the "tells." Ah--am I doomed to failure?


Recently the "Show Don't Tell" topic poked it's ugly head up in a loop discussion. Randy Ingermanson chimed in his great insights sprinkled with a dash of humor. I wrote Randy and asked if I could share those comments with you. He said yes:)

Randy Ingermanson thoughts on Show Don't Tell: 

Randy, there's a lot of information available on the topic of Show Don't Tell. I'm overwhelmed with all the rules.

There are absolutely no "rules" about "showing versus telling" (or anything else in fiction writing). The "rules" you are referring to are actually "rules of thumb". "Rules of thumb" differ from "rules" in the same way that good abs differ from corsets.

The whole purpose of writing fiction is to give your target audience a Powerful Emotional Experience. All rules of thumb are intended to suggest ways that you could improve things when a given scene fails to deliver on that pesky Powerful Emotional Experience.

Please remember that if you are delivering a sufficiently powerful set of emotions to your reader, then you don't need to fix your scene. So don't even think about the rules of thumb unless your scene is actually broken.

But I've been taught "Showing" is always better than "Telling".

This is not true. Showing is generally better during the exciting parts of your character's life, but showing is absolutely the worst thing you can do during the boring parts of your character's life. I'm sure you can tell the difference.

Yes, but won't "Telling" or info dumps guarantee a manuscript's rejection in today's publishing field ? --let's leave out authors of days gone by who had pages and pages of info dumps published.

Info dumps at the start of your story will definitely do this, because info dumps are boring. Telling the exciting parts of your story will also get you tossed. You should be showing the exciting parts of your story and telling the unexciting parts. This is obvious enough that I won't bother to try to explain why.

OK, but I've heard in classes and read in books that "Telling" is a sign of weakness and muddies the story with information the reader doesn't need.  

Poorly done telling shows poor craftsmanship. Excellently done telling shows excellent craftsmanship. You can see any number of examples of well done telling in most literary novels. For some wretched examples of telling, go to any critique group on the planet and ask to read the work of the newest member of the group.

Whether you show or tell, if you do it well, it's like magic. Whenever you attempt a magic trick, there's an enormous difference between doing it well and doing it badly. If you disbelieve me, then don't try that trick with sawing your mother in half.

When you sit down to write, forget every rule you ever heard of. Just write. When you go to edit, don't fix what ain't broke; do use the rules of thumb to help you fix what is broke.


Randy Ingermanson
Publisher, Advanced Fiction Writing E-zine
http://www.AdvancedFictionWriting.com/blog

Thanks, Randy!




Have you been bogged down with the Show Don't Tell rules? Please share your thoughts and/or tips.


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Image by: Freedigitalphotos.net

This blog post by Mary Vee

Mary lives in Montana with her husband and loves to hear from her three college kids. She writes Christian young adult fiction (pirate tales, missionary and Bible adventure stories).

She thinks of writing as: Stepping into Someone Else's World.

To learn more about Mary, visit her blog http://www.mimaryvee.blogspot.com/

Self-Editing Checklist: Show and Tell (plus a giveaway!)

No, we're not talking about that period in elementary school when Freckle-Faced Freddy brought his ant farm and let the little buggers loose.

But this topic can be just as problematic for a writer, can't it?

Point #6 in my self-editing checklist is all about Show and Tell. (For the previous five posts, click here.)

When analyzing your scenes for Show and Tell, here are a couple key points to watch out for:

a) Are you naming your characters' emotions? What sort of picture does this sentence evoke? "She gave me a scared look." Pretty vague, right? How about this..."A sheen of sweat sparkled above her lip and her eyes bulged." Gives a much clearer picture. If you see emotion words like "scared", "happy", "worried", "angry", etc., carve them out and show them through action and dialogue instead.

b) Are you relying on narrative summary rather than showing the scene as it plays out? Take note that sometimes narrative summary is okay, but in most cases, you want your book to contain scenes filled with movement and action (and action doesn't necessarily have to be shoot-em-up duke-it-out type of stuff).

Here's an example of narrative summary used in the wrong way, glossing over a key moment that should be shown instead.

Her long-lost son opened a folder and asked about her three names. She struggled through memories of her childhood and started to explain.

Here's the actual excerpt from Patti Lacy's powerful book The Rhythm of Secrets, which shows the main character's emotions beautifully.

"Thanks for meeting me." The folder flopped open. A sheet of paper was removed. "If you don't mind, I have a few questions for you."

His inscrutable expression muted her soul's music. She eyed the folder warily.

The paper shook as he shoved it close. "According to...my sources, you are both Sheila Franklin and Sylvia Allen." His shoulders grazed the leather booth when he leaned back. Ice glazed his eyes. "If that's true, then who is Sheba Alexander?"

The question tore open a lockbox of memories. A blazing fire. A one-armed prostitute. Maman. Papa. A thirteen-year-old girl who thought she could conquer the world, thanks to her parents' gift of that name she'd had to abandon. A name she just might have to reclaim...

"Sheba Alexander was..." Words fought to escape her cottony mouth. "...a silly girl." A very foolish teenager. She swallowed hard. How could she explain things to a man she'd just met, even if he were her son?

Gripping, right? This is a big-time moment in the novel, and Patti didn't hold back at all. She showed the emotions of both characters through action and dialogue, sweeping the reader away in the story.

Your homework for the next two weeks, should you choose to accept it: Search through your scenes for naming of emotions and work on ways to portray those emotions through action and dialogue. Look for large chunks of narrative summary and determine whether they should be shown in greater detail or even added as extra scenes. If they're irrelevant to the story or keep it from moving forward, don't be afraid to cut them.

Bonus giveaway this week! Patti Lacy has graciously offered a copy of The Rhythm of Secrets for one lucky commenter! We'll announce the winner in our weekend edition.

What's been your biggest challenge in the show-and-tell game of writing? What's the most valuable resource you've used in learning how to show rather than tell?

*Ants photo by Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Myth Busters #2: Show Don't Tell

This is definitely one of the most controversial topics in the writing world today. Show don't tell. You hear it at every turn you take on the writing journey. And yet, aside from learning voice, it is one of the most elusive methods to put into practice. I don't know about you, but I struggle with this more than anything. So what makes me an excerpt on this topic you ask? Because I do struggle and because each moment with my writing, I learn more and get stronger in my technique.

And just why do I have it labeled under Myth Busters?

Because showing and telling isn't as big a deal as so many of us make it out to be. So many of the talk centered around this method is about the showing part. I am going to let them worry about that. Because what about telling? And why does it always get such a bad rap?

For the longest time I made this so much harder than it should. Because not everything can be shown. If you show everything in your novel you are going to end up with a 1,000 page manuscript and with a reader so overwhelmnned they will be in tears.

Than I got this jewel of advice from author Susan May Warren: Telling only has to do with the AUTHOR telling us how a character feels. He felt sad. His sadness overtook him. He let the sadness settle inside.

That is telling. And it is as simple as that.

Really nothing more needs to be said on the showing front, but what about those times when you need to tell and how do you know when you should tell?

You can't show everything because in those moments when you need the story to move forward, you need to tell. Your reader will become emotionally exhausted if you don't. And the way to keep a story moving forward is to tell in certain areas.

When to Tell

~In short snippets to move through a story segment
~When the pace needs to be tightened and the tension heightened
~Right after a great deal of showing, move into a time of telling to allow your reader a chance to breathe.

When you need your story to move at a faster face, there will need to be telling. BUT don't cheat your reader by glossing over emotions. Like Susie said, when you are in a midst of telling, be sure and SHOW your character's emotions. How they are reacting to the scene around them, don't just let it pass them by without giving them the chance to experience it with the character. That is what will make a scene great.

Some memory scenes can be telling, depending on their depth and abilitiy to move the reader. How important is that scene to the story and will it make a difference later? If so, then you need to show it more as a flashback, but if not, keep it short and let the character tell through their thoughts. One way to know if it should be showing or telling: look at how long the scene is. The longer the scene: the more the need for showing.

After a great deal of showing, which takes more words and more time to experience for the reader, your pace will have to be slowed a bit. I am not necessarily talking about as in the forward motion of the character, you could have been working on their internal angst, but I am talking about the overall story. And it get back into the action you might have to do some telling. But don't let it become passive telling. Infuse it with action and strong verbs/ nouns that will keep the tension ratcheted up and the reader reading at a faster pace.

Strong verbs and nouns are your key to any scene, but especially to telling scenes. Because in those words, you are going to take your passive telling to active telling and it will infuse your writing and make it stronger. More interesting to read and leave your reader breathless. It will feel more real and natural and your reader won't even realize you have been telling.

Avoid large pockets of telling. Infuse dialogue, internal monologue and action, because large pockets of telling will bore the reader and give them an excuse to put the book down. So like showing, be sure and give your reader a break at the right moments. The way to know if you need to infuse showing or telling is to read very quickly through your manuscript, preferably in paper and ink format and see how you as a reader pick up on those moments. Let your internal editor disappear for a moment and just focus on the flow of the story. Your reader heart will find those moments of inaccuracy.

So the myth to showing and telling: you can't show an entire manuscript. Telling has to be infused.

And you can't tell an entire manuscript either. It will have no emotion and feeling for the reader, you have to show and you have to tell. You have to do both. It can't be one without the other.

So do you struggle with knowing when you should show or tell? Do you struggle to understand the concept? Do tell, I would love to know. :-)

Lassoing the Nasty "Show, Don't Tell" Rule

If you haven’t had a chance to read posts from this week, you’re in for a treat.  We’re rustlin’ up some of our favorite newbie writer's rules.  Today we’ll lasso “Show, Don’t Tell.”

A regular frustration during my writing course came when my instructor scribbled comments like:   “What did he look like when he was angry?”  At first I stared at the question.  What did he mean by that? Everyone knows what anger looks like.  Aack!

After many trial and errors, I realized my teacher wanted me to show “anger” not simply tell “anger” in my text. BTW this doesn’t mean I’m a graduate of the “Show, Don’t Tell” rule.  

Think of a silent movie, (a later one done in color for this purpose) in which one character is filled with rage.  Since there isn’t a cue card or sound, the character needs to “show” rage to the audience.  She’ll probably exaggerate components like a balled fist, red face, bulging eyes, body leaning forward, and etc. to communicate “rage.”

One mistake I’ve made when attempting to “show” is adding too many words.  The goal is not to add or take away words, but to have the best words. Here’s where the “Write Tight” rule hops in.  Perhaps someone will address that in a future post.

The following paragraph "tells" about a storm:

Last night while working on my story a storm blew out of nowhere and pelted the neighborhood.  At one point the wind broke through the study window. Unfortunately, the computer shut off before I could power down.  I have to admit, I was scared.  My daughter was scared, too.  I found her in the hall and hugged her. As we sat together huddled on the floor, the power blinked then faded. I prayed for God's help and held her close.  

1.     Do you have a visual of this scene?

2.     Did you have sensory clues like sounds, smells, sights, texture, or tastes?

3.     Did you experience this scene with the character?

Here is a "showing" version of the same scene:

I tapped one or two new words to my WIP.  For some bizarre reason my characters wouldn’t speak to me tonight. 

The houselights flickered.  Sure looked like another summer storm brewing.  "Come, on, just two hundred more words to make my count." 

“Momma?”

“Katy? Why are you up?”

“Th—th--there’s a loud noise.”

“Go back to bed, Sweetie. It’s only rain.” I watched her toddle off, blanket in tow. 

Rain tapped on the house in the same rhythm as the keys.  A second thunderclap rattled the windows.  I glanced up as the lights flickered again.

“Momma!”

The monitor flashed black  “I’m coming.” 

Her footsteps rapped on the hall floor.  Without warning the lights evaporated.  “Momma!”

I groped the air in front of me. God, please show me where the doorway is.  “Stay where you are, Katy. Momma’s coming.”

I inched a few steps forward. Something is—what’s that humming sound? Thunder cracked. Lightening flashed through the windows. I ran toward the door. “Katy?”

Her scream sliced through pounding hailstones on the roof.

“Stay still, I’m coming.”  Where is she?  My arms flailed back and forth in the blank air.  I took another step forward and felt her soft, baby hair.  She lunged at my leg and squeezed.  “We’re OK, Sweetie.” I tried to slow my breath.  “It’s only a storm.”

We snuggled right there on the floor.  She whined, “I’m scared.” Her little heart pulsed like a speeding train against my skin. I pulled her back into the study and rubbed her back.  

Look back at the questions listed above. Would your answers differ for this second version? Which scene gave you a visual, provided you with sensory clues, and allowed you to experience the event with the character?  

Some telling paragraphs are longer than the showing version. This is often caused by unnecessary description.  The goal is not to add or take away words, but to have the best words  

There are several great sites offering worksheets and samples for the Show Don't Tell rule.  Here are a two:

http://www.tonibuzzeo.com/show_dont_tell.pdf - 

has great practice worksheets

http://palc.sd40.bc.ca/palc/ac-archive/0301/ACmay703.htm 

(excellent-teaches, gives practice-click for possible answer.)

Do you have an example of Show, Don’t Tell to share?