Right and Tight - Succinct Crafting From Disney

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Okay, I think I’ve waxed long on the Disney theme for now, so this is my last post using Disney works in story crafting. If you want to check on my previous posts related to plotting with the songs of Disney, you can start with this one.

Today, we’re going to chat about two important aspects of writing in which Disney reigns pretty supreme ;-) Tight Writing and Emotional Writing.

Here is a brief definition of how I’m using these two terms:

This first one is my kryptonite for sure. Tight writing does not mean the shortest distance from the first letter to the final sentence marker. It DOES mean using the fewest words to express what is needed to move the story forward.

Emotional writing is not related to the letter you send after a breakup. It is the ability to draw the greatest power from the words you’ve conveyed. The specific words chosen not only create vivid imagery, but also encourage an emotional response.

One of the ways Disney does this best is through its songs. Let’s look at a few:
I’m malicious, mean, and scary

My sneer could curdle dairy

And violence-wise my hands are not the cleanest

But despite my evil looks and my temper and my hook

I’ve always yearned to be a concert pianist.

Can’t you see me on the stage performing Mozart

Tickling the ivories ‘til they gleam

Yeah I’d rather be called deadly

For my killer show-tune medley

Cause way down deep inside I’ve got a dream.

Okay – this was the one my 14 year old mentioned as giving a lot of great info in a few words. In fact, it gives an entire backstory and a surprising yearning in this tough guy’s heart.

We have some power words for emotion too. I’ve bolded them. If the song had only used the words “mean and scary”, it would not have the same reaction as malicious. ‘sneer’ is a great word because it carries a visual as well as an emotion.

The difference we could transfer from this song to our prose writing is to convert as many helping verbs to action (more emotional/stronger) verbs.  Of course, the writers for songs are not only trying to write tight, but make the songs fit in rhyme and rhythm.

ciszaczasija.blogspot.com

How about this one with some beautiful imagery?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they're worth

……. For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

You can own the Earth and still
All you'll own is Earth until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind

Can you ‘see’ the power words in this song from Pocahontas – and some of the phrasing is fantastic and tight? The phrase in italics is a great example of tight writing, in which words were used succinctly to make a fabulous point (and of course, it’s also rhythmical ;-)

‘sunsweet berries’ is such a fabulous phrase. It not only gives a visual response but also a tactile one. ‘roll in all the riches’ – is a visual as well as tactile. See how the right words can carry a lot more power in shorter doses than more words?

Okay, I HAVE to use this one – ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE Disney songs for writing tight and powerfully.

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Hellfire from The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Yes, surprising choice, but the phrasing, words, and imagery in this song are AMAZING.

Frollo sings this of the gypsy Esmeralda (and Frollo is quite the self-righteous and somewhat murderous fellow). I’ve included almost the entire song just because it’s SO GOOD at proving the points of this post.

Tell me, Maria, why I see her dancing there
Why her smold'ring eyes still scorch my soul

I feel her, I see her - The sun caught in raven hair
Is blazing in me out of all control

Like fire. Hellfire
This fire in my skin
This burning Desire
Is turning me to sin

It's not my fault! I'm not to blame
It is the gypsy girl - The witch who sent this flame

It's not my fault! If in God's plan
He made the devil so much stronger than a man

Protect me, Maria! Don't let this siren cast her spell
Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone
Destroy Esmeralda -and let her taste the fires of hell
Or else let her be mine and mine alone

WHOA – anybody else feeling a sizzle in the room? Sheesh, this song is ‘smokin’’ with power words ;-) Even in this song, you can see that there is a heavy amount of action verbs used (another tip to remember for increasing the emotional impact of your writing).

A bonus about this song is its use of uncommon words, so they resonate with us more. Our brains naturally stop on them because we don’t’ see them as often. (I’m NOT advocating using really weird words as much as possible, btw). ‘Siren’, ‘sear’, ‘flesh and bone’, ‘cast her spell’. They are not as common as ‘burn’, ‘temptress’, etc.

A few quick tips:

1.       Get rid of words like ‘very’, ‘just’, ‘really’, ‘that’ or ‘some’.

2.       ‘ly’ is not necessarily a bad tag on a word, but check to see if you can change some of those ‘ly’ words into something BETTER. There are times when they are fine…maybe even needed, but check that you are not overusing them.

3.       Less is sometimes more, even during lovely descriptive phrases. If you can say the same thing, more powerfully, with fewer words – use them.

4.       Replace as many weak verbs (mostly helping verbs) with more action/descriptive verbs. Again, helping verbs have a purpose in your writing, but if you have more of them than less….change some to increase the impact of your sentences/phrases.

5.       Take a tip from our clothing choices: Too tight is uncomfortable. Too loose is usually unflattering and uncomfortable. But just right is both flattering and comfortable.

Okay - time to end our Disney chats with a solid  (and classic) 'happily-ever-after' kiss pic. Of course :-)

http://longlivethemouse.wordpress.com/2013/09/09/disney-true-loves-kiss/

 

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Pepper Basham writes Blue Ridge Romance peppered with grace and humor. She’s a mom of five, a speech-language pathologist, and a lover of chocolate. She writes in a variety of genres, but enjoys sprinkling her native culture of Appalachia in them all. She is a regular contributor to Christian Fiction Online Magazine as well as developing her own blog at Words Seasoned With Salt. She is represented by 2012 ACFW Agent of the Year, Nicole Resciniti.

 

Plotting with Disney - the Villain Song

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http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20355756,00.html

’m not afraid to admit that I absolutely LOVE a good villain song. In fact, some of the very best Disney songs are villain songs. Hellfire, from The Hunchback of Notre Dame, being at the top of the list. In a later post, I want to discuss ‘writing tight’ by studying the ‘power words’ in Disney songs, but today we’re going to talk about Villains and Antagonists… and  plotting your story.

If you've been following along with my little Disney series, I've talked about The Song of Longing and The Song of Hope so far. Each are fairly integral parts of both Disney movies and our own stories.

But the third song - and just as important as the other two - is The Song of the Villain. Our CONFLICT SONG :-)

If you've watched Disney movies, you’ll note that most of them have a song set aside just for the villain (in Frozen’s case, I’d say Elsa’s song, Let it Go, is definitely the Antagonist’s song, but she’s not a villain). Some of the best ones are:

Hellfire (as mentioned earlier)

Be Prepared from The Lion King

Poor Unfortunate Souls from The Little Mermaid

The Mob Song from Beauty and the Beast

The Virginia Company and Savages from Pocahontas

Friends on the Other Side from The Princess and the Frog

Mother Knows Best from Tangled.

Okay, so what can we learn from these songs?

Well, if you’re going to write a story, you HAVE to have conflict. A story without conflict will NOT be a story worth reading. Sometimes those conflicts are embodied in a particular evil person/animal. Scar, Governor Radcliffe, Frollo, Ursula…. Those are the OBVIOUS villains or antagonists.

In these cases (and in most cases), the villain/antagonist attempts to keep the hero from fulfilling their 'Song of Longing' or keeping their 'Song of Hope' alive. That's the antagonists intentional...or unintentional goal. (yes, villains have goals too :-)

And if you're going to write a villain, Disney's list is worth studying. From overt to subtle evil, Disney has them all. Sarcasm, magic, pride, arrogance, power-hungry....and the BEST ones (beside Maleficent) have a song to go with their wickedness ;-)

If you're going to write a villain, make him/her/it complex!

But there are other people who cause conflict in our heroes' lives. ANYONE (or anything) that is keeping the hero from completing his/her goal is considered an antagonist. (but not necessarily a villain. A villain has evil intentions against the hero/heroine, but the antagonist may not)

We usually meet the villain/antagonist pretty early in the story, and much like the underlying musical themes in Disney, we keep seeing those villains throughout the story to warn us of the subtle or overt conflicts throughout.

Antagonists can come in all shapes and sizes. It can be a villain, of course, but it can also be a friend. Sebastian on The Little Mermaid tries to stop Ariel from getting into trouble. At first, he could have been seen as her antagonist. Tiana from The Princess and the Frog didn't’t need a villain, she did a great job as her own antagonist – keeping her heart guarded against the possibility of a ‘fairy-tale romance’.

The weather, time, natural disasters...etc, can also act as antagonists in the story.

But remember, you must make sure their is an underlying melody of conflict in your story to keep the tension moving the story forward.

So – what about you? How do you bring your story to life with a villain or antagonist? What’s the theme of the villain’s song in your story?

I have a villainous in one of mine, but in most of mine the heroines are their own antagonists. In one, the antagonist is actually a 'sinking ship'.

What about you?
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Pepper Basham writes romance peppered with grace and humor. She’s a native of the Blue Ridge Mountains, a mom of five, a speech-language pathologist, and a lover of chocolate. She writes a variety of genres, but enjoys sprinkling her native culture of Appalachia in them all.  She currently resides in Johnson City, TN where she works as a university instructor, searches for unique hats to impress her friends, and plots new ways to annoy her wonderful friends on The Alley. She is represented by 2012 ACFW Agent of the Year, Nicole Resciniti.
  

Melody Plotting Along with Disney - The Song of Hope

Welcome to the second part of my series, Melody Plotting along with Disney, where I’m taking the general ‘songs’ in Disney movies and applying them to novel writing.

As I said before, Disney is brilliant at using songs to portray the emotions and forward motion of its stories. The first post discussed the Song of Longing. You can read about it here:

The three song-types I'm discussing are:

Song of Longing

Song of Hope

Song of the Antagonist/Villain

And I might end the series with a Happily-ever-after post, but for now, we’re going to talk about the second ‘song’ we can learn from as authors. 

The Song of Hope.

In almost every Disney movie (especially the ‘princess’ ones) there is a Song of Hope. This song is the moment when the ‘longing’ (from the first post) seems like a real possibility for the protagonist or it shows a ‘change’ in the protagonists previously ‘hopeless’ circumstances. Lots of times, it involves a love song of some sort. It’s the ALMOST-but-not-yet.

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A few examples?

A Whole New World from Aladdin – Aladdin’s song of longing to be seen as more than a street rat is realized in the carpet ride with Jasmine. (the fun doesn't last long as Jafar has him kidnapped right after he lands Jasmine on the balcony)

At Last I See the Light from Tangled  displays Rapunzel’s deepest dream of her heart, she finds hope in being with Flynn. (Yet again, it doesn't last long before Mother Gothel and the gruesome dudes mess things up.)

Belle and the Beast have a clear ‘change’ in their relationship when they sing Something There that Wasn't There Before, followed pretty quickly by the title song, Beauty and the Beast. The adventure and romance Belle had been searching for became a possibility. (But when she leaves to rescue her father, the tables turn and the beast’s life is in danger)

Kiss the Girl clearly displays the hope Ariel has to be ‘kissed’ by Eric and gain her voice back, as well as her future. Her dream is literally a pucker away, but due to the magnificently maniacal Ursula, a hurricane of trouble is soon to follow.

Frozen succeeds in flipping this idea on its head by giving Ana false-hope through the song, Love is an Open Door, while Elsa’s song of hope is the extremely popular, Let it Go. Ana believes her longing from For the First Time in Forever has been revealed in Hans (boy, is she wrong) and Elsa’s biggest fears represented in the same song are replaced by her new-found freedom from her ‘concealment’ of her magic.

If we want to switch gears and look at popular movies?

The Song of Hope in a movie like Titanic is the night Rose and Jack spend together dancing, painting…and other things. There is hope that Rose will no longer be confined by the expectations

placed upon her – it’s a taste of her dream-come-true. But only a taste. We’ll discover near the end of the movie, she has to make that final choice to bring her dream to reality.

The Song of Hope in The Princess’ Bride is when Wesley and Buttercup are reunited before going into the Fire Swamp. Sure they’re almost killed by lightning sand and R.O.U.Ses, but they’re together. (but the sweet happily-ever-after moment ends as soon as they get through the swamp and come face-to-face with Humperdink)

In my historical romance, it happens after a horse-riding incident that ends in a kiss. In one of my contemporary romances, it happens in a tower that ends in a kiss.

Do you know what the Song of Hope is for your story? Is there a part of your novel where the protagonist realizes his/her dream is possible, almost palpable? The Almost-but-not-yet part of your book?

Would you like to share?

LET IT GO--- FROZEN writing tips

I've now seen the movie Frozen about 1,243,438 times.

Okay, maybe not that many.

But it's close. Much too close.

I've even seen it once in French, because my eldest daughter is facinated with the language and has vowed to learn how to sing ALL the songs in French.

I can't tell you how much that excites me. (Insert sarcasm here)

For some reason, this movie has taken hold of the hearts of children and adults alike. While there is such a thing as too much of a good thing, what is it about the movie that has made store shelves empty of the DVD?

And what can we learn from that for our writing?

Well, the first thing we can't replicate. Frozen has some amazing songs that caused even some super fun weatherman to mimic.

But catchy music aside.... there were several WINNERS about Frozen that helped make it the HIT that it was.

1.) Comedy. While most Disney "princess" movies have a few slices of funny in them, Frozen had more than most. It was FILLED with them, even though the movie itself wasn't a comedy at all. Some of our families favorites:

Olaf. Need I say more?
Ana walking like a penguin in her frozen dress.
The talking Sven.
The adorable trolls trying to matchmake:-)
"What if you hate the way he picks his nose.... and eats it?" "EWwww" "All men do it."

Those are just a few:-)

Regardless of your genre (except maybe thriller...), putting a couple natural giggle moments is a fantastic way to retain your readers attention. Giggle moments stay in our head almost as much if not more than deep emotional moments.

2.)  GREAT dialogue. I don't think there was one moment in the movie where the dialogue seemed unnatural. There were some GREAT lines in there...

"Just roll with it..." (Kristoff talking after the rocks rolled in and turned to trolls)
"If only there were someone out there who loved you..." (The turning point where we find out that the prince is not so prince-like afterall)
"Someone has to tell him..." (Kristoff talking to himself after Olaf's Summer song)

And probably my favorite... "Some people are worth melting for."

There were so many great lines in the movie, I couldn't possibly list them all.

Great lines are memorable. And we want memorable lines of dialogue in our books too!


3.) Romance. I've said this for years and I still remain true to this point. Romance makes every story just a little bit better. Obviously I write romance, so my books are going to have this as a central theme, with other things such as suspense and drama playing an important secondary roll. But even if you aren't writing romance, adding a sprinkle of romance to your novel can serve to be a wee bit of zing that helps your book be memorable.

4.) A takeaway. Spiritual theme. Frozen's theme was that an act of true love is more than true loves kiss. It is sacrifice. Risking ones self for the sake of another. That true love can thaw even the most frozen of hearts. While romance is a lot about love... love isn't all about romance. It's one of the things I loved about the movie, the hero's love didn't save the day (although he absolutely helped) but Ana's love for her sister is what saved the day.

5.) Speaking of heroes.... Kristoff was pretty cool. A GREAT example of an imperfect hero that you grow to love. He's an orphan and super rough around the edges. He begrudgingly helps Ana instead of being the over the top prince who dashes off to save her. (In fact, THAT guy ends up being a total dweeb.) He's real and has real issues... and loves his sled just a wee bit too much... but his redeeming qualities totally make up for it.

6.) A REAL heroine. She wasn't perfect. She's flightly and impatient and a bit cocky at times. But she's also fun and energetic and has charisma. And in the end, she lays down her life for her sister.

7.) A loveable villain. Elsa. A villain of sorts... but we love her. We don't want her to get hurt, but we want her to fix her mistake. She has a reason she is how she is, it's not really her fault, but then again, it is. If she'd just told Ana... then her sister would have understood and not provoked her, right?

8.) Suspense. Just like Romance, a little suspence, even if not the main thread, makes every story a little better. How were they going to stop winter? We thought we might know.. until we realized who the TRUE villain was.

9.) Body Movements. This is one of the things I noticed in Frozen that I don't remember in a lot of other animated movies. One moment in particular, when Elsa had just built her castle of ice, she was walking out to the balcony and her hips sashayed as she sang. That little movement told me more about what she was thinking than even the song itself. She was owning her power, her womanhood. It was her moment of throwing off everything she'd been taught and deciding she was her own woman.

That is something we can definitely do in our writing, and I confess. I forget about it myself. The importance of a flick of a wrist, a hand on a hip, a chest puffed up, shoulders sagging, or even a simple clenched fist. These all can SHOW our characters feelings without having to tell them. 

10.) And yeah. Great songs. I think maybe I need to make my song-writing hubby write me a song for a book trailer or something. It probably won't be Frozen quality... but hey, never hurts to try, eh?

Let it go... Let it go......

Sorry.

Discussion: Did you catch the Frozen craze? What are some of your favorite dialogue or comedy moments? Any story-writing lessens you learned?

Plotting with Disney - The Song of Longing

Did Disney’s news yesterday freeze you with shock? Frozen has become the largest grossing animated film of all time – even more than Toy Story! I was shocked. Sure it’s a cute movie, but THAT cute? Clearly I’m not ‘cool’ enough to get it – though I do recognize great storytellers when I hear/read them.

Disney is known for its GREAT stories, amazing characters, brilliant voices, fantastic secondary characters, marvelous animation, and, of course, stupendous music. In fact, you could plot a book from the pattern of songs through Disney’s movies.

So…

That’s what we’re going to do. Using the basic elements of Disney songs in a 3-part series (particularly from the ‘princess’ movies), I’m going to talk about the ‘melody’ of story structure. (I might have to slide in a fourth to give us that ‘happily-ever-after’ part. It wouldn't be Disney without it J

The basic three ‘songs’ we’re going to discuss in the 3-part series are:

The Song of Longing

The Song of Hope

The Song of Conflict/Antagonist

(and I’ll probably throw in a happily-ever-after part in here too) J

So, today, let’s talk about Disney’s Song of Longing.

It’s a staple for almost every Disney movie out there. If you don’t believe me, here’s a list of a few.

Some Day My Prince Will Come (Snow White)

When Will My Life Begin (Tangled)

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes (Cinderella)

I Just Can’t Wait to be King (Lion King)

Belle (The song when she’s walking through town and their talking about how weird she is J

Out There (Hunchback of Notre Dame)

Reflection (Mulan)

Part of Your World (The Little Mermaid)

Do You Want To Build a Snowman (Frozen)

What do all these songs have in common? Each and every one of them is strategically placed in the story to express the main character's deepest longing.

Whether it’s a prince, the ‘lights’, an adventure, legs, self-discovery, or a deeper relationship with her sister, all of these songs express the main character's heart’s desire.

And YOUR story needs to express that too.

If your character doesn't have a longing and goal, then it is difficult for the reader to relate to her and stick with her to the end of the book.

What does your hero/heroine want? What does she dream about? What does she ache to obtain?

Usually there are two desires – an external and internal one. Many times one will directly relate to the other.

Let’s use Cinderella, for example.

External desire: Get to the ball

Internal desire: Have someone love her and take her away from her heartache

Clearly, these two are related since she wants to get to the ball to meet someone who might sweep her out of her glass slippers and into a wedding gown. In her song, A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes, Cinderella sings:

“In dreams you will lose your heartache. Whatever you wish for you keep. Have faith in your dreams and someday – a rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.” The song expresses her deepest longing.

What about Mulan?

External desire: Keep her father from fighting/fight in her father’s place

Internal desire: Discover who she really is

Yep – both are intricately related to each other. She discovers who she is, her worth, while taking her father’s place in the battle. In her song, Reflection, Mulan sings “When will my reflection show who I am inside?” CLEAR indication of her heartfelt ache.

One more?

Tangled?

External desire: See the lights

Internal desire: Self-discovery and freedom

Through the monotony of her song, When Will My Life Begin, we hear her desire for something more meaningful than what she’s always known.

Does it make sense? The songs reflect something much deeper. The beginning of the story and the heart of the hero.

So…back to you? What is your hero/heroine’s deepest longing? Can you tell us an internal and external desire they have? 

Let us know….or list one of your favorite Disney “songs of longing”?