There have been a decent supply of movies about authors/writers the last couple of years. I must admit, I enjoy watching some of them. A new-to-me movie popped up in my Netflix list recently. It was hilarious and spawned the idea for this post. (True Memoirs of an International Assassin)
The topic is so perfect for this week between Christmas and New Years.
I mean, here you are, Ms or Mr. Author, enjoying the fat of the land, cookies, candies, Christmas dinner, etc. Admit it, the scales went up a pound or two.
You've laughed with your friends and family by phone, social media, at church, in your home, or at parties.
You've opened some pretty awesome gifts and watched others open ones you've given.
Yeah. You've had a wonderful time.
Uh huh.
So, You've barely thought about your characters, eh?
And what are your characters doing while you're away? You know the saying...while the author is away, the characters will play.
They saw you when you put in your passcodes to your programs.
They know when you're asleep.
They know if you've been bad or good
And so they've taken liberties to --
Wait, MC just sent this text:
MC: Sorry, Author, I have to leave. I can't sit around another minute. Don't worry, I've come up with a great replacement. She's a bit dorky and hasn't brushed her teeth in a week, but I'm sure you can fix her up.
Your phone dings the message and you panic first then send this reply:
Author: You can't leave. Please. I have your whole journey planned out. Ups. Downs. Crises. That kiss you've always dreamed of. Remember the kiss? I could write it in sooner if you'll only stay.
MC: No way. You've teased me long enough. And what about the days before Christmas when you left us to go present shopping and now New Years is four days away? Four whole days? You think I want to just sit on this page with nothing to do while you have fun? Uh, no. Me and Vil, yeah, I found out about him. He isn't so bad. He came up with a great mutiny idea. One for the whole cast. We are taking our own vacation, away from you. Maybe Miami. Or Italy. Someplace warm.
Author: What if I buy everyone pizza, will you stay?
MC: Vil says you're a Scrooge.
Author: Scrooge, eh? I could change. I have you on my schedule for, let's see, tomorrow.
MC: You...change? Right. The one who goes crazy with the power of the pen? Ha! Tell you what, you meet with The Three Friends, first. Each will pop in at your holiday party at one hour intervals. If you pass the test, we'll consider coming back.
Author: Who are these three friends?
MC: Have you ever, even once, told me something in advance? I don't think so. You'll know them when you see them. The first will show up when the bell tolls one.
Author: But I go to bed at ten.
MC: One.
MC doesn't respond to any more of your messages. You panic. Stay away from the filet mignon, mustard, and cheese served for dinner. Insure the potato is fully cooked. And you laugh at anything to avoid grave topics. No matter what you do to remain calm, the marrow in your bones tremble because you know MC and the rest of the cast could really leave.
You wildly search for something to keep you awake and remain standing at the party. The coffee can is empty. You rummage through the kitchen, under the Christmas tree, in the secret snack drawer. On chocolate, on Mountain Dew, on energy drink, on tea, on hot chocolate, on caffeine all. But alas, they have dashed away, dashed away, dashed away all.
You start at the sound of the first bell. There, on the other side of the room is a stranger. He flows through the crowd as though as they're invisible. His eyes fix on yours.
Author: Wh-wh-who are you?
Unknown First Friend: I am the Disaster Rejection Friend. At this very moment all the disasters you've planned for your characters past, present, and future are actively being prevented. Extra feet are added to cliffs to prevent falling. Remedies seasoned with poisons. Bullets impenetrable. Fires snuffed. You name it. The disaster is thwarted.
Author: But if you do that my MC won't have any problems.
Disaster Rejection Friend: Yeah. So?
Author: The story will be boring.
Disaster: Precisely. Like you weren't boring your characters by taking a vacation?
Author: I said I'm sorry to MC. I promised I'd changed. Leave notes, flowers, chocolates.
Disaster: Yeah, well, MC doesn't believe you.
Just like that Disaster Rejection Friend fades into thin air. In his place Resolution Allergy Friend appears.
Author: Let me guess. MC will never find a resolution to her problem if you stay.
Resolution Allergy: Yep.
Author: Got it. I'll talk with her first thing in the morning.
Resolution Allergy: No. You can't give in that easy. I'm melting. Melting. Melting.
Never had anything disappeared that fast. Not in all of time. Sadly, Author knew all the wishes and dreams could not keep the third friend away.
Nothing could be that easy. And it wasn't. For before his very eyes did appear Rabbit Hole Infestation Friend and a herd of bunnies. Thousands. Maybe millions. Author looked to the left and the right. Rabbit trails in both directions. Author looked in front and behind. More rabbit trails. The more Author looked, the more rabbit trails appeared.
Author: No, Friend! Oh no no! I will honor my characters with my time. I will not abandon MC to blank pages for days. I will not shut out the lessons that the three friends have shown me this evening. Oh tell me I may sponge away the legion of rabbit trails before me.
In author's agony, Author clutches the cell phone. It dissolves in form becoming the writing laptop.
Author swooped up the laptop and squeezed it. The Three Friends had done everything in one night!
Author was so fluttering and glowing with good intentions that scarcely a word could be heard.
Except by MC.
Before Author's eyes MC and the cast appear.
To live.
And struggle yet another day.
And so Alley Cat pals, friends, and neighbors, What have your characters been doing while you festived your Christmas time? (and yes, I have created the verb, festived. Because I am a writer. I get to do that.)
I can't wait to read your comment(s)!
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Mary Vee - Rock climbing, white-water rafting, zip lining, and hiking top Mary's list of great ways to enjoy a day. These activities require lots of traveling, which is also tops on her list. For some crazy reason, the characters in Mary’s young adult mystery/suspense fiction stories don’t always appreciate the dangerous and often scary side of her favorite activities. Unbelievable.
Mary studies marketing and writing skills, and pens missionary and retellings of Bible stories on her ministry blog, God Loves Kids. She has been a finalist in several writing contests.
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first of all Mary, I love your word, "festived!"
ReplyDeleteMy MC has peed probably a thousand times - she's very pregnant and does that a lot. She has also whispered to me what secret she's hiding from the others. What? No, I'm not telling you here. Suffice that it will be in the story before long. Oh, and she goes into labor soon and another character shows up unexpectedly (which seems to trigger her labor.)
Ahh, the poor lass. She first needs a hearty meal. And how is it that she has brought you into her confidence? What ransom have you paid for this knowledge? I dare say she may be willing to divulge the secret when at last hard labor steals her wit. Aargh!
ReplyDelete:)
See, a bit of waywardness.