Men at ACFW--Do They Exist?

Casey here: I am thrilled to host my friend and up and coming writer, Andrew Swearingen on the blog here today. Earlier last year, there was a debate on the ACFW loop about men and their presence or lack thereof at the ACFW conference. And it got me to thinking--do we exclude men and their company at our conference or within our writing circles and community? Here's some interesting food for thought. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. 

Last September I attended my first writer's conference, with ACFW, the American Christian Fiction Writers.

It was a great experience all around. I loved getting to meet other writers (published or otherwise) and I had plenty of opportunities to talk about my book with agents and editors.

In the weeks after the conference there was a conversation on the ACFW e-mail loop about “Men at

ACFW”. I've worked with the audio video team at the ACFW conference the last few years, so I knew that the organization was made up of mostly women. I thought maybe guys made up maybe ¼ of the conference demographic. Nope. It's more like 15%. One man felt ostracized during the large group sessions, feeling out of place. After all, this used to be American Christian Romance Writers. So the question came up, is there a place for the Y chromosome in ACFW?

For my part, I didn't feel left out in any way. It's true, as a single guy in my 20's, I definitely stood out among the ACFW crowd, but I knew that would be the case going in.

If anything, the hard part was engaging with such a large crowd. However, when the rubber hit the road, we were all writers and we all had plenty to talk about. Most everyone I spoke with was friendly and excited to talk about their book.

(If I can be very honest, I think my history of putting my foot in my mouth has helped me get over my fear of looking foolish.)

But just for sake of argument, let me list the ways that it was difficult being in the “male minority” at ACFW.

1.) It's awkward being the only guy at a table full of women.
2.) It's awkward being a 20-year-old guy at a table full of middle aged women.
3.) It's awkward walking into dinner in a group of all women. (You may have noticed a pattern here. I won't belabor the point.)
4.) Lot of pictures taken of me and with a bunch of women. (some guys would love this, but that's another issue).

5.) Being the default picture taker when the ladies see a photo op.
6.) Telling a female writer that you write Sci-fi and she replies “Oh that's so cute. My 5-year-old son loves Star Wars.”
7.) I had no idea who Lauraine Snelling was (still don't).
8.) Having nothing to contribute when the “Romance Moms” start talking about their grandkids.
9.) Having to be very careful introducing when myself to young female writers (Give me a t-shirt that says “No really, I only want your phone number for networking purposes.”).
10.) Seriously though? There were so few male role models at the conference. I know they're there, but man, as far as speakers, I feel like we guys come away wanting more. I didn't really notice it until Allen Arnold, a speaker from Ransomed Heart Ministries, got up to lead the morning devotionals. Granted Allen is a fantastic speaker who knows how to address the hearts of artists, but his fatherly presence was such a breath of fresh air to me. (I will add the caveat that I am chronically bad at meeting with and talking to men I look up to, which may be part of why I felt so dry in that regard).

However, there are a few upsides of being in the male minority

1.) No lines at the restroom.
2.) Lots of excited women, telling you how glad they are to see more men.
3.) You know who your friends are. It's not like you get to pick and choose. When there are only so many men at the conference, you have little choice but to network with the few guys you meet with.
4.) Realizing that the women don't bite (most of them at least). Even with more and more men attending ACFW, we still need to interact with the other 85%. So this awkward Sci-fi writer needs to cross the aisle and make connections with a few women. And it's not even that bad. Despite the intimidation factor when trying to engage a pack of women, once the conversation starts, most of them are pretty easy to talk with.

5.) I learned to look at the genre, not the gender. Some of the most impactful story talks I had were with members of the fairer sex. And I'm willing to bet that I learned a thing or two from their feminine insight.
6.) Genre crossover. While we joke about the rival “clans” of writers, we can all learn a bit from each other. Some things won't change. Romance writers will always think Spec Writers are a little “out there”. Suspense writers will tell Romance writers to “pick up the pace” and ask “when will there be a dead body”? But we all have something that we can learn from one another. Romance writers can help spice up the romance between the swashbuckling hero and his damsel in distress. Suspense writers can help the Romance writers toss in a plot twist or two. (And we Spec writers can help all of you realize that whatever story issue you're having can easily be solved by the introduction of a Robot Apocalypse).

7.) Unique voice. Amid the season of female voices in a conference like ACFW, male voices are in short supply. It doesn't guarantee anything. You still need to have something that stands out, but it does give us guys a unique position to bargain from.
8.) ACFW Mom's. I have no fewer than 5 mom's in ACFW and it's fantastic. Sometimes after a rough agent appointment, a little hug from “Mom” can go a long way.
9.) Oh and did I mention that my protagonist is a 17-year-old girl? Yeah, female insight into the mind of a moody (telepathic) teen can be quite useful.
10.)  Realizing that maybe, just maybe, it the gender gap isn't as big of a deal as some people would like to make it out to be.

Would things maybe be easier if ACFW were even 30% male? Sure. I long for the day when there are more and more men writing in the Christian market. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” There is something unique that we men get when men can challenge and encourage one another in our endeavors. It has nothing to do with “the dominant sex”. There are ways that men can speak into one anothers lives that women just cannot (and vice versa).

But networking, like so much of life, is not based on working with ideals. You take what you have and you make it work. We musn't get hung up on the “shoulda, woulda, coulda”. If more men come, then great. Fantastic. They'll be invaluable additions to the conference. But even if they don't, I'll still be glad to be a member and proud to call each and every one of those amazing folks family

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A lover of all things Sci-fi, Andrew Swearingen writes Speculative fiction, usually involving swashbuckling super heroes, powerful starships, and the occasional killer robot. He works a “real job” for a landscaping company and serves in his church's kids program.