The Do’s and Don’ts of Creating Authentic Online Relationships

Photo Credit

We’ve all been approached by that one person (or really that one person over and over in the form of another person). The one that is suddenly finding themselves with a book contract and no platform and no understanding of how to create one. And in creating one they often turn people off from wanting to help them.

In today’s world, authenticity is what we all want to see, especially as more and more relationships are first developed online. So I have a few do’s and don’ts that you will want to follow—or at least take into consideration as you start to venture into social media and build relationships.

DO start early. Don’t wait until the last minute to get in Twitter. Facebook. Pinterest. Blogging. All of these platforms take time to learn and take time to build an audience. You aren’t going to join one day and the next have a hundred subscribers. Sometimes that takes years. So start building it now. My philosophy has always been to start something now, because now is the time to learn it, but you’ll also have more fun at it, which makes you more authentic. Less spammy. And while you are learning, you are also building an audience.

Example: I’ve been blogging 5 years: audience of well over 800 followers. 300+ subscribers.

On Twitter for two years: 1,200+ followers.

On Pinterest for one year: 500+ followers.

On Goodreads for four years: 500+ friends.

On Facebook for four years: 450 personal friends, 120 page fans.

Photo credit

This might seem like discouraging numbers for the amount of time I’ve put into them, but the point is, I have a platform I am building. Where as if I started to learn all five social forums at once I’d stink at all of them and turn a bunch of people off from being interested in what I am saying. Social media takes times to gain credibility. It doesn’t just happen.

So in the same vein: DON’T wait until the last minute. Now is the time to take advantage of no deadlines and slowly learn the platforms you want.

DO authenticity really, really well. Be genuine. Be kind. Be humble. Don’t tweet only your own blog. Share the good news from your favorite author. Reply to the blogger who just commented on your blog. Talk about life—but don’t use it as your therapy. Be funny. Share joy. Share struggles. Share spiritual observations. Start a dialogue. Learn what someone likes and doesn’t like. Don’t dominate the conversation with only you. You’re devoloping friendships.

DON’T go into social media looking to market OR only making friendships to someday ask for something in return. All of my social media friendships are friends I would jump at the chance to hang out with at the coffee shop talking about nothing and everything. Be you. This isn’t about how many books they can sell for you or whether they can give you a good book review. This is where the whole humble and authentic thing comes back around.

DO offer to do things for others—without the expectation of return. ‘Nuff said.

DON’T spam people you don’t know or barely have a relationship with to have them do something for you. Make contacts with people you already have relationships with. These people are more likely to jump in and give 100% to your request because they know you. Consider you a friend. You would do the same for them. That is the #1 important reason to start this social media stuff now because you don’t have the pressure of anything else, but being you and being authentic.

Photo Credit

It’s not complicated being who you are. A couple tips: social media is not the place to inundate people and clog their feed. Social media is the place to go above and beyond for other people, putting yourself second to all else. It’s the place to encourage. Support. Promote.

I have always loved social media. Why? Because I lived in a small town, didn’t know that many people and it was a platform I could be kind, encourage and be friends with people all across the nation—and in some cases, the world!

Don’t look at social media as something to be conquered. Look at it as something to be enjoyed. Just by being you. That takes all the pressure out of it.

What tips do you have for creating authentic social media relationships?

************************************************
Casey Herringshaw is a homeschool graduate and has been writing since high school. She is a total country girl, now living in a metropolis of Denver, Colorado.