Writing Imagery

Now-a-days, readers want excellent writing, but it needs to be straightforward. This makes it all the more important to place your metaphors and similes in appropriate places throughout your novel. If you have one metaphor after a simile after another metaphor...then you will slow down the reader and your story will sag with the weight of a word picture frenzy in the reader's overloaded mind.

Using well-placed metaphors and similes can 1) Anchor the reader to the setting and have them  connect to your character's situation, and 2) Emphasize high emotional intensity, as implied by James Scott Bell in his book, Revision & Self Editing.

Just as a poem begs to be memorized, a metaphor or simile create a memorable experience for the reader, and etches your story into their mind. I can think back on certain books and remember their well-placed metaphors and similes out of the entire 90,000 words. These tools grip a reader's thoughts and leave a “book”print in their mind long after the book is closed and put away.

Here are some examples from books that have printed on my mind:

Anchoring to the setting:

"If Broadway was Manhattan's artery, Five Points was its abscess: swollen with people, infected with pestilence, inflamed with vice and crime. Groggeries, brothels, and dance halls put private sin on public display. Although the neighborhood seemed fairly self-contained, more fortunate New Yorkers were terrified of Five Points erupting, spreading its contagion to the rest of them.” Wedded to War, Jocelyn Green.

Jocelyn uses the metaphor of the condition of the human body to not only emphasize the point of view of her heroine, an aspiring nurse, but she also gives such a vivid understanding of the setting that a reader could hardly dismiss this and move on without allowing the imagery to paint itself in their mind.

“Through the makeshift curtain that gave her some semblance of privacy, she could make out Captain Click's sturdy shadow like a locked gate barring harm's way.” Courting Morrow Little, Laura Frantz

This book is set in a time of unease and discord between the settlers and the Native Americans. This metaphor of Captain Click being a locked gate is appropriate to the point-of-view of the heroine who is a young woman traveling into hostile territory. This anchors the reader to the setting not only through the heroine's perspective, but gives the overall emotional climate of the setting—one of possible danger at every turn.

Emotional Intensity:

“The man who stared back was not a man he knew. The careful control bred into him since birth was gone. In its place he saw a fire-breathing dragon capable of murder.” The Duchess and The Dragon, Jamie Carie

The image of a fire-breathing dragon is placed at a time when the hero's emotions are high and his actions have culminated to a dreaded circumstance. Jamie Carie imbeds this metaphor in such a way that it maintains the momentum of the story but shows intensity of the hero's emotion.

“In the domestic cloud of dust and family, I too can forget the One who sees me, but in eucharisteo, I remember, I cup hands and all the world is water.

The well, it is still there.

There is always a well—All is well.

I choke out my son's name. His skin is transparent...glass. And he stares long, brims...quavers...falls. And I cradle him, the Boy-Man, flood over shoulders.” One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp.

Ann's moment with her son is filled with word pictures that emphasize the build to an emotional outpour. This book takes the use of metaphor to such a deep level, my heart stirs at every turn of the page.

Metaphors and similes can also unveil a writer's voice. Ann Voskamp does this amazingly well, not only in the example above, but consistently throughout the book. Depending on a writer's voice, these descriptive tools can be well-placed mirrors to the under-lying tone of the story.

Do you have examples of well-placed metaphors and similes in some of your favorite books? How about in your own? Please share!


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Angie Dicken first began writing fiction as a creative outlet during the monotonous days of diapers and temper tantrums. She is passionate to impress God's love on women regardless of their background or belief. This desire serves as a catalyst for Angie's fiction, which weaves salvation and grace themes across cultures. She is an ACFW member and is represented by Tamela Hancock Murray of the Steve Laube Agency.