Nixing the Passive. On With the Active!

I recently read through my second contemporary novel’s first draft. Wow. Mess is one way to describe, but passive is a more correct adjective. And I realized that along with too much character introspection, my writing was much too passive to truly draw the reader into the scenes.

As readers we want to become invested in action. We want to feel the drama of the characters and join their world. Passive writing won’t do that. You can’t feel the thump of a heartbeat in passive description. You can’t smell the fried foods or taste fear on the back of your own tongue when the writing doesn’t paint that vivid picture.

What can you change to take your writing from passive to active?

Vivid Verbs

Your words pack punch. Or they can. Chose the strongest verbs, the best descriptions and put yourself in that scene. What would you think or feel or touch or smell or taste? All of the senses in some way play a role in every scene, in every emotion. What one different sense can you use for your character in each scene to make it come alive? Think along the lines of taking an emotion and giving it a personality.

Dialogue

Dialogue is always active. A lot of mistakes can be made with dialogue, but no matter what, it is always forward action. Tell the story between the quotes (via Rachel Hauck). One of the best pieces of advice I was given this year at the ACFW conference was from Cynthia Ruchti. Cynthia told me to take my characters’ thoughts and put them into dialogue. Instantly your character will look less self-centered and move the plot forward in a natural way.

Action

When in doubt kill a character.

Okay, so that Mary Connealy advice doesn’t work for all writers, but therein lies the truth. When writing your story—or actually as you go through and edit your story, look for every opportunity to give your characters an action to perform. Even something as simple as grocery shopping can produce tension when you utilize the right emotions and verbs to make an active scene that is indicative of their inner emotions.

Passive writing is not hopeless. Rather, look at it as a palette that still needs a splash of color. You have laid down the ground work for the story. You’ve got the characters, the basic emotions, the motivations and where you want the story to go. Now you need to take that great beginning and craft it. One thing I love to do is take each scene and leave it up in a neighboring window. Then start re-writing it in a second window, but this time, don’t settle for the easy and push beyond the passive to write in the active.

What suggestions do you have to conquer passive writing?

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Casey Herringshaw is a homeschool graduate and has been writing since high school. She lives in rural Eastern Oregon in a town more densely populated with cows than people.