I recently read through my second contemporary novel’s first
draft. Wow. Mess is one way to describe, but passive is a more correct adjective. And I realized that along with
too much character introspection, my writing was much too passive to truly draw
the reader into the scenes.
As readers we want to become invested in action. We want to feel the drama of the characters and join their world. Passive writing won’t
do that. You can’t feel the thump of a heartbeat in passive description. You
can’t smell the fried foods or taste fear on the back of your own tongue when
the writing doesn’t paint that vivid picture.
What can you change
to take your writing from passive to active?
Vivid Verbs
Your words pack punch. Or they can. Chose the strongest
verbs, the best descriptions and put yourself
in that scene. What would you think or feel or touch or smell or taste? All
of the senses in some way play a role in every scene, in every emotion. What one different sense can you use for
your character in each scene to make it come alive? Think along the lines
of taking an emotion and giving it a personality.
Dialogue
Dialogue is always active. A lot of mistakes can
be made with dialogue, but no matter what, it is always forward action. Tell the story between the quotes (via
Rachel Hauck). One of the best pieces of advice I was given this year at the
ACFW conference was from Cynthia Ruchti. Cynthia told me to take my characters’
thoughts and put them into dialogue. Instantly your character will look less
self-centered and move the plot forward in a natural way.
Action
When in doubt kill a character.
Okay, so that Mary Connealy advice doesn’t work for all
writers, but therein lies the truth. When writing your story—or actually as you
go through and edit your story, look
for every opportunity to give your characters an action to perform. Even something as simple as grocery shopping can
produce tension when you utilize the right emotions
and verbs to make an active
scene that is indicative of their inner
emotions.
Passive writing is not
hopeless. Rather, look at it as a palette that still needs a splash of
color. You have laid down the ground work for the story. You’ve got the
characters, the basic emotions, the motivations and where you want the story to
go. Now you need to take that great
beginning and craft it. One thing I love to do is take each scene and leave it
up in a neighboring window. Then start re-writing it in a second window, but
this time, don’t settle for the easy and push beyond the passive to write in
the active.
What suggestions do
you have to conquer passive writing?
***************************************************
Casey Herringshaw is a homeschool graduate and has been writing since high school. She lives in rural Eastern Oregon in a town more densely populated with cows than people.
Hi, I’m Jamie – Director of Outreach at Scripted.com. Thank you so much for the tops. They were really helpful. For writers, we have a ton of paid work at the moment. For content buyers, we have flat-rate purchase options for blog posts, tweets, and other types of content! We hope you give our service a shot – You can reach me directly with any questions at jamie@scripted.com
ReplyDeleteI have struggled with this passive thing too! Your tips are great...and I really love Mary C's advice! Kill somebody!!!! lolol
ReplyDeleteIn my critique groups, we like to highlight our passive words with highlight. Well, really, we'd rather not have it show up at all! But it helps to see them in glowing color. Makes it more easy to fix 'em. It's a simple tool, really. We have a rainbow of colors when we're critiquing each others' manuscripts. Makes it fun, in a whole new way!
ReplyDelete;)
I like these ideas. I think it is so good to go through each chapter with a fine-toothed comb and change the passive words if you can. Sometimes it seems difficult to find an active verb to replace the passive one, but then you can think about rearranging the sentence. I'm curious what others think...is it ok to use passive verbs some of the time? I know they should be limited, but aren't there times they are kind of necessary if you don't want to sound extremely formal? Just a thought. Also, I think it sometimes depends on where you want your emphasis to be...but I know not all writers and editors agree with that. Interesting discussion!
ReplyDeleteJAMIE, I'm glad they were useful! Thanks. :)
ReplyDeleteSHERRINDA, but of course. It should be everyone's first resort. ;-)
BETH, I love that. Great way of making the passive pop. ;)
ReplyDeleteLINDSAY, you can't write a book without a 'was'. Plain and simple and if you do write a book with only active verbs, it's going to make your story sound over-dramatic and stilted. Just like there comes a time to tell (because you'll end up with 1,000 pages if you show everything ;), there comes a time when a bit of passive does even out the story writing equation. It should be used very sparingly though and with the best possible reasons on the part of the author. :)
That was my thought too, Casey! Just glad to know I am not alone in that thought. Thanks!
DeleteThese are FABULOUS tips, Casey! Loved the one about turning introspection into dialogue. Am gonna have to use that one SOON.
ReplyDeleteJOANNE, it was something that hit me between the eyes too! Great tip!
ReplyDeleteNo, you're not Lindsay. With every rule comes an excuse to break it. ;-) It just needs to be a good one!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Casey.
ReplyDeleteThese are great tips. I'd write more, but am between work projects.
Life happens like that doesn't it Mary? I have a feeling I'm not going to get much writing done the month of February. B.U.S.Y!
ReplyDeleteGreat tips, Casey! Many of my passive sentences were fixed by nixing a couple of words, like "she thought" and turning a "she wondered" sentence into a question without wondered in it. Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting about this!
Great tips, Casey. I'm almost (finally!) done with my first ever rough draft. Then, I'll begin the re-writes, and changing of the passive voice. I'm kind of excited. :)
ReplyDeleteLove what Angie said, too. I'm learning to do that--turn things into a question my character is thinking. Same wavelength today, I guess. :)
Still having computer issues today, so in case this doesn't come up with "me" on the head of the comment, it's
Jeanne T
Ouch!
ReplyDeleteYep, been there...AM there :-)
Great tips, Case.
And I'm all for Mary Connealy advice. Bring on the shotguns, cliff-hangers, and ship explosions!! :-)
ANGIE, I had one of those sentence in the beginning of my latest novel. But I *really* loved the cadence of the sentence...until three separate people told me to nix it. I nixed it. ;-)
ReplyDeleteJEANNE, you popped up! And wooo-hoooo on that rough draft completion!! Awesome accomplishment. :D
PEPPER, we should form a support group...
Thanks for the tips. I'm still working on the passive.
ReplyDelete