10 Ways to Survive Crazy Conference Roommates (and other hopeful advice from a newbie that has never gone)

A very confident title wouldn’t you say? This year will be my first time attending the ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers) nationalconference in just FIVE WEEKS!

Are you excited yet? If you’re going I’m excited to bump into you, which I am sure there will be a lot of that with already over 600 people registered to attend. WOW! Hope you aren’t prone to claustrophobia…

If you’re not going…I know what you’re going through and I hope you’ll take a second and read my encouraging post on my personal blog from last Wednesday. Commiserate, we get it!

This year I took a deep breath, gulped down ALL common sense and told Pepper, Mary and Carol Moncado (of Pentalk Community blog) I would room with them.

Crazy. I know. Don’t remind me. And I’m more scared since I was recently reminded that last year Pepper and her roommate had a TOILET explode in their room.

I’m shakin’ in my Harney County FatBaby© boots!

Thus my ammunition in this list. Read it with caution and print it out and staple it to your suitcase in case you end up with crazy roommates! (plus a few extra credit ideas to surviving newbie-ness at a huuuge conference)

1.       Learn where ALL the exits from your room are. And rehearse a quick, short, give no-hints-of-where-you’re-going speech when an escape is in instant demand.

2.       Take a deep breath, walk up and greet someone you don’t know. Don’t think about it being 600 HUNDRED people. Think about that one person looking a bit lost and needing help (that would be me)

3.       Keep a steady supply of chocolate in your room. It works well for bribes. Like extra shower time. Or more blanket space. Or an extra pillow. Or the TV remote. Just hide it, or it might be used against you.

4.       Don’t stress the appointments. Look at it as a chance to network and talk WRITING. I mean we ALL love to do that right?? Write??

5.       When in doubt when security knocks on your room door, roll over and feign a stroke, heart attack, sleep, ANYTHING to prove you didn’t do it.

6.       Be willing to deviate from your rigid schedule to take a moment in the prayer room, chatting with a new friend or visiting with your favorite author. God knows where He wants you to be and nothing that happens is not without His stamp of approval (unless it’s rooming with those crazy people!)

7.       Beware of high-pitch giggles. Girly TMI (unless you’re a guy rooming with guys, then have no fears). Long showers. Bathroom counter space fights and pantyhose and other such articles flying across the room. Watch out and DUCK!

8.       Remember this time and the opportunity to attend the conference is a gift from God and He wants to be part of the time you spend socializing. Pray, worship, praise! You wouldn’t be here without Him.

9.       When your roommates want to introduce you to someone they are sure you are going to LOVE, always take their word with a healthy dose of salt. You never know when they might be setting you up with what THEY think will make your “Mr. Write”. Don’t always believe everything they say. They may seem sweet, but remember the title of this post??? Just trust me.

10.   Learn and learn lots. Take notes, laugh, enjoy, don’t stress. Thank speakers. Greet others with courtesy and have a business card ready at the flick of a wrist when someone asks.  If you’re carrying a bag or purse with you, keep all  your writer’s utensils within easy reach and organized so you don’t have to dig. Keep smiling!

So now that we have woven to the end of this crazy maze, I ask only one thing of you: if you think of me between September 21-25^th, please say a prayer and hope I packed enough chocolate!

Any helpful conference tips (funny or otherwise) you would care to share? I would be greatly in your debt!

(Oh and btw, if you happen to attend and hear a high-pitched scream, just ignore it, that would be me, being mauled over my overzealous and ever-so-CRAZY roommates. ;-)