Romancing the Blog - The *S* word

Yes.

We are talking about sex on the writer's alley today.

Any questions?

No, no, no, not like technical, high school health question stuff. (You can all say a big *phew* here!)

How about this question: How do we, as Christian writers, deal with sex in our novels?

I think we can all agree that a fictional detailed version of the actual act is a no-no. We can also, I presume, agree on the fact that the condoning of the act outside of marriage is a no-no too.

What we can, and should have, in our novels is this:

Sexual Tension.

For fun, I looked on the oh-so-reliable Wikipedia for a definition. (No, I did not Google it for obvious reasons!)

Here is what I found:

Sexual tension is a social phenomenon that occurs when two people interact and one or both feel sexual desire, but the consummation is postponed or never happens.

It is a common feature of plot and characterization in works of fiction. This longing is often suggested by incidents of intimacy; for instance, when two people or characters are alone, are physically close, but desire is never explicitly expressed.

I LOVE this definition... it even mentions fiction novels! How about that! And for the Christian novel, where our characters, for the most part, are waiting until marriage to "consummate," this type of tension is normal and needed.

Without this tension, there is no romance.

Now, don't get me wrong. Romantic love isn't all about sex. But it is a part of it. And if the tension is absent from your romance novel, readers will be able to tell, and most won't like it very much.

What does sexual tension in a Christian novel look like?

This can vary greatly depending on the author, as well as the author's audience and publisher.

It can be something simple like:

Luke sat in the chair next to Maggie, and when he stretched out his lanky legs under the table, his knee brushed her skirt, making her heart throb at a wild pace. (from Maggie Rose, by Sharlene MacLaren, my current read! Love it so far!)

Sometimes a simple, accidental touch can invoke tension.

Or it can be a little more pronounced like:

He walked faster.


He was a pastor, a man of the clothe, someone whom others looked up to and yet... He wanted to touch her, to fill her eyes with longing.


He walked faster, still.


He wanted her in every way that a man could want a woman. God forgive him.


This time he broke into a full run.

(from A Lady Like Sarah, by Margaret Browley, a book I highly recommend!)

I like this because here is a preacher, someone who should "have it all together" and even he is tempted. And what does he do? He flees temptation. A great lesson to learn! When the going gets hot... leave till you cool down. :-)

It's like chocolate. Wanting it isn't bad. It's having it that creates the problem. (i.e. my waist-line that refuses to recede anymore!)

Or, it can be very obvious like:


Jack's mouth found mine, and we fell against each other. It felt so good to be touching someone. Him. He rubbed his thumb over the button at the nape of my neck, the only button on my dress, but it didn't open. I pulled back his T-shirt from his pants and slid my hands up his back.


"No," He said, and shoved me away. "That's enough."


I slapped him.

(From Home Another Way by Christa Parrish, not an a-typical romance but an intriguing and thought-provoking novel that again, I highly recommend!)

I really liked this for a couple of reasons. First, he is a Christian and she is not. He is also a pastor. (Is this a theme?!?) There is some backstory that makes this even more interesting, but I'll not give that away. Second, he shoved her away like she was a hot potato. And she kinda was. Third, she slapped him. Now THAT is some tension, folks!

How much is too much?

This is a question I cannot answer for you (beyond what I mentioned as no-no's earlier).

Every author is different. Every publisher is different. And the audience for each novel is different. All of these 4 things play a huge part in knowing what is acceptable.

Personally, I use the M factor. My mom. If I'm so embarrassed by a scene that I don't want my mom to read it, then I know I've probably gone a little far. This won't work for everyone, but my mom and I have read Christian romance novels for a long time, and have very similar taste, so this is an instinct I can trust.

You'll also find many people VERY opinionated on the matter. Judges in contests can be opinionated (I've had a LOT of 'this wouldn't fly in the CBA' comments) but ya know what? So can reviewers. Francine River's OH SO popular and time-tested novel, Redeeming Love, has 18 one-star reviews. (It also has over 700 5 stars...) But one of the themes of those 18 low reviews (and probably some of the 2 star ones I didn't read too...) was the amount of sexual description in the novel. One even said, "This is pure, unadulterated porn."

Julie Lessman, another fav author of mine, also has some fun reviews as well. My favorite (from my brief glance through her amazon reviews) was one that said, "I find it hard to believe this was a Christian book," when the review almost directly above it said, "I am sorry I wasted my money on this book. I didn't realize that it was a Christian book. I started skipping over all the Bible verses and all the preachy parts about what God would want. It became just too nauseating, too much!!!"

There are quite a few others I could name, but suffice to say: YOU CAN NOT PLEASE EVERYONE.

The only one you should really worry about pleasing is God.

Discussion: Do you have any self-imposed limits on how to handle sexual tension aspect in your writing? Do you tend to like the sweet romance... or the more edgy? Any examples of authors who do a good job at creating this tension between characters without stepping over the limits?